Love Hurts, by Loa
Look, I’m not making a penny, cent, drachma, euro, peseta, lira or any monetary currency of any value out of this, all right? What else can I say?
This fanfic is a PG, because of some mild swear words.
This is a short story that goes on first inside Banzai’s head, then Shenzi’s, then Ed’s. It’s a bit sad, but as in unhappy, not crap (Well, I don’t think it’s crap, anyway). It’s written especially for Hyenashippers (that’s a person who believes that Shenzi and Banzai belong together).
"Gods, I love her so much. But I know I’ll never have her. Who am I talking about? Shenzi, of course! Who else could I possibly be talking about? She’s so beautiful, isn’t she? Her long, dark mane, her soft fur, that fringe, those eyes you could drown in, that sweet smile, and the hell of a great body. But why the fuck would she want to go out with me? She’s a leader, for the gods’ sakes. And what about me? I’m just a lackey. Compared to her, I’m nothing. In fact, I’m less than nothing. I’m the scum of the Graveyard.
"I’ve loved Shenzi for what seems like forever. Ever since that fateful day in the Elephant Graveyard when the little fuzzball king, his miniature girlfriend and Mufasa’s little feathered stooge came to ‘visit’ us.
"Ed sometimes says, or laughs, or giggles, that Shenzi loves me. He says it a lot. But I know that she doesn’t. You’ve got to be either crazy or stupid to think that someone as beautiful as Shenzi could find a twit like me attractive, and they don’t come much crazier or more stupid than Ed. It’s not pretty, but the truth seldom is. There’s me loving Shenzi with every fibre of my being, but she’s not going to return that love. Not the way I want her to, anyway. Sometimes I could just go hunt on my own in the Pride Lands, I feel so bad about it.
"I don’t know how to tell her how I feel about her, and if I did tell her, I know exactly what she’d do. She’d laugh at me, that’s what she’d do. I can just imagine the look on her face. Surprise, then she’d start laughing. Now that would just about kill me. I wouldn’t need to go hunt on my own if that happened; I’d wither up and die on the spot. I’m almost glad that it’s only me and Ed that sleep in our cave, and that the leader sleeps on her own. I don’t know what the hell I’d do if Shenzi ever found out that I whispered her name in my sleep every night.
"Oh, sure, we’re friends, but that just seems to make it worse, somehow. Being just friends with someone I love. It’s one thing if they love you back, but this is just ripping me apart. I can’t stand living this lie much longer. I’ve heard people say that I could have any female in the Graveyard that I wanted. Except her. And she’s the only one I want. I guess you always want what you can’t have.
"My heart is killing me because of her. I can’t go on like this much longer. I’m going to die
of old age, loving her, and she’s never gonna know. I could probably make up some kind of crap song about how much I love her, but it’d probably be awful. I can’t sing. I can’t dance. All I can do is crack stupid jokes and get into fights with other hyenas.
"She’s smart too. But that’s just another reason I can never have her. She’s the leader of the pack, and me - I’m a fool.
"She deserves so much better than me. But then again, she deserves better than anyone alive.
So maybe I’ve got a chance. Just a chance.
"One day I’ll tell her.
"Look at him. He’s so damn handsome, isn’t he? I’m talking about Banzai, if you haven’t realised by now. I love him all the way to hell and back, every part of him. His sleek fur, his bushy eyebrows, his deep, dark eyes, a great sense of humour and a great body to boot. He drips with charm. He’s so sweet and kind. A real ladies man, if ever there was one, and there aren’t many left now.
"I’m going crazy just loving him. But why the hell would he want me? I’m just a humourless ice queen. He’s a lackey, and I can’t have a lackey. I’m the leader, and I have to choose someone high up. It’s in our lore. I wish it wasn’t, but that’s the way things have to be. I want to tell him. But there’s alway something wrong with my eyes.
"I know I’m attractive, but there are a hundred other females out there prettier than me, and nicer than me, and available to a lackey. What use is power if you can’t have what you want? But Banzai’s the one I want, and power can’t get you love. I’d give my leaderness up for him in a flash, if I only could. But I can’t. The pack would just fall apart without me. The pack are the greater good; at least, they think so. Gods, I hate having to go for the greater good.
"Everywhere I look, something reminds me of him. The sky, the river, the air, the trees, the earth, the rain, our dinner. Especially our dinner.
"Ed knows about my love for him. He often says that he’s sure that Banzai loves me, but he must be crazy to think that. Hellfire, Ed is crazy. He can’t see that there’s me loving Banzai with all my heart and soul, and there’s Banzai being my friend. I can’t leave my pack, but I sometimes wish I could. Looking at him this way is killing me, slowly and painfully. I’d tell him, but what would he say? "Sorry Shenzi, I don’t love you, but we can still be friends right?" Yeah, right.
"Some days I’m almost glad the pack leader sleeps on her own. I’d be deposed faster than a meerkat gets through a bug sandwich if any of the other hyenas knew that I wake up every morning crying over him. Leaders aren’t supposed to cry. But I still do.
"Sure, we’re friends. But that doesn’t help at all. It seems to make it worse. If it could possibly get any worse. I only know one thing for sure. I can’t live this lie much longer.
"My heart is breaking, just looking at him. It’s cracking into little pieces, slowly but surely. Everybody says that I’m the bravest of all the hyenas, but I’m not. I can’t even tell Banzai that I love him. One way or another, I’ve got to leave the pack. Or make him leave, even. It’s the only way I’ll stay sane.
"I want to tell him. But there’s alway something wrong with my eyes.
"They keep on filling with tears."
"People say I’m crazy. I hear them say it all the time - behind my back, over my shoulder, even to my face. Not that I can argue with them. I am crazy. I’m a total screw-up, but at least I’m not stupid. Not particularly stupid anyway. Not as stupid as Shenzi and Banzai are, when all is said and done. They must be blind or something. Can’t they wake up and smell the pheromones? It’s so bloody obvious they’re both in love with each other - to everyone but themselves. They’ve just not gotten around to the sex part of the relationship yet.
"It doesn’t make me angry, being called crazy. Not very angry, anyway. People are right, when they’re calling me a lunatic. What really makes me angry is having to watch Shenzi and Banzai torturing themselves over each other.
"Yeah, sure, Banzai’s my brother, and Shenzi’s my friend. I’ve tried to tell them that they’re both in love with each other, but I know they’ll never believe me. Sometimes I wonder if perhaps they don’t want to believe me. But when push comes to shove, they’ve got to tell each other, sooner or later. I’d prefer it to be sooner, myself.
"If Banzai wasn’t my brother, I’d fall in love with Shenzi. But I don’t want to hurt him. He’s hurting himself enough. I know Shenzi would never love me, anyway. She loves Banzai. But that doesn’t stop me thinking she’s bloody cute. Banzai’s damned lucky she’s in love with him. It’s a pity he doesn’t notice it. I really wish I was sane. Smart like Shenzi, or funny like Banzai. But I’m just Ed. Crazy, stupid Ed.
"I know Shenzi and Banzai are in love with each other. It’s as obvious as the spots on my fur. They’re the perfect couple. They’re probably the perfect couple, anyway. They’d have to get together first before anyone’s going to find out. But Shenzi’s got a mob to run, and Banzai’s so damn wrapped up in his own stomach that I know it’ll be a miracle if they ever get together on their own. I want to do something about it, but it wouldn’t be right. It’s bad enough for them, but I can’t stand watching this stupid sham much longer.
"Banzai says that he’s a fool for loving her. All I know is that you’re only a fool if you give up. I won’t let him end up like me, going literally crazy over some female I met so long ago, and never being able to forget her. But I know that Shenzi and Banzai love each other. I know they don’t need to go through what I’ve been through. But if they aren’t careful, they will.
"People say I’ll have to stop living inside my own head. But it’s nice and comfortable in there. I don’t have to watch Shenzi and Banzai being stupid. There’s one thing I do know, though. I don’t live there half as much as Shenzi and Banzai do. Banzai’s my brother, and Shenzi’s my friend. I love them both. I can’t watch them torture themselves for much longer. I’ve tried to tell them, but they don’t believe me. Sometimes I wonder if they don’t even want to believe me. They’ve got to get together soon.
"I can’t sort it out for them.
"But I want to."