Hi all,

Before i launch off into a discourse on 'this' years Mardi Gras Fair day in Sydney,
i thought i'd cast my mind back a few years now to the 2001 Fair day held at
Victoria Park in the city ..

Its no big secret that i spend WAY too much time following and adoring celebrities,
tho the objects of my affection are usually, and come to think of it have always been
not quite your average celeb that most people or kids would keep scrap books on or
put posters of up on their walls, No .. i've always followed the less loved, the misunderstood, the vulgar, the crude and the twisted, but fairday 2001 offered me the chance to meet someone who was NONE of those things ..

He was simply * Bernard *

Or for the tragic few readers who know not of whom i speak 'Bernard King'.

Without me realising it Bernard was probably my first gay hero, he was a celebrity chef
on mid afternoon television in Aussie with his shows actually being filmed right here in Wollongong at WIN 4. Bernard really became a star when he was hired to be a judge on the afternoon talent show 'Pot of gold' that ran through the mid 1970's. I see all these kids now ranting about how cutting and funny Dick(head)o and Mark (somebody slam him please) Holden are on Australian idol, but dont they realise that they are mearly flacid, pathetic imitations of the true master 'Bernard'? You see on Pot of gold Bernard would not hold his tongue, would not avert a death stare in the middle of someones act. He was harsh and cruel without any pretence of political correctness, my brother and i would sit glued to the television just waiting for his total character and emotional assisination of the hapless contestants, he was merciless and we rocked back and forwards in glee as he took aim at atonal, discordant singing sisters in matching blue taffeta dress' and eye shadow, he drew breath and said 'Dress sense zero, singing zero, dancing zero, future zero .. your not very good are you?, no bodys told you that have they.'

Bernard would always say that it was for there own good when he made them cry, and cry they did, once there was this guy dancing on the show .. he looked like a reject from the rejected dancers in 'You cant stop the music', he was whirling around in his ball seperating satin hot pants when he went for a high kick and you could practically hear the twang of his ham string as it snapped .. he hopped and crawled around the stage earning nothing more than a dismissive sideways glance from Bernard as he threw to a commercial break.

It was so funny, i mean without knowing it i was collecting gay heros even at that very young age, not for me the league hero's of the day, give me Bernard, Bert or Joylene Thornbird Hairmouth anyday (remind me to blog about Joylene sometime)

All those years later walking around Fair day and we spotted Bernard parading, dressed up like a dandy, looking not unlike a crisp Quinten, i must say my legs went to jelly at the sight of him, this really through me, i've met all the big famous people from Don Lane to Diana, but Bernard had me shaking.
Finally my friends Mariana and Barbs pushed me towards him and i extended my hand with a simple greeting, would he savage me?, would he dismiss me with a wave? .. no, he cocked his head and offered a very polite hello, and with that we stood and had a charming chat for a good ten minutes, he was incredulous when i told him i had all four of his 'Kings kitchen four seasons' cookbooks, he assured me that there were some very tasty recipes in between the pages.

It was lovely to meet someone who holds such a command over your memory banks, i'll never forget, just as we said or farewells Bernard took my hand and said 'Greg, always make your own condiments'

I'm so glad i got a photo taken that day with my first gay hero.

The Tingler xoxo


King pioneered television advertorials in Australia, doing whatever it took to promote sponsor-supplied products, even if it meant cooking a whole fish in saccharine-sweetened grapefruit-flavoured soft drink.