The Art of the Deal

The Art of the Deal

A "Winds of Change" Story

The bus came to a halt and we hopped off. Luckily, we’d gotten off out of sight of the car dealership. I had an idea.

"Jon, go onto the lot and take a look around. Figure out what kind of car you want and let the dealer come over. If you can, make sure it’s not a predator, and the more skittish the species the better."

He looked at me with a slight grin, "What exactly are you planning?"

I smiled again, "Never mind that. I’ll be by about two minutes after you start chatting with the dealer. Just be ready for anything."

He eyed me with a little suspicion, but decided not to ask anymore. He walked toward the car dealership. As he walked away, I stretched out my wings. They were still a little sore, but I wouldn’t be in the air long. Making sure I was out of sight, I hopped into the air and started climbing.

There was a little cloud cover, and I didn’t have my fight computer with me, so I stayed below three hundred feet, just into the lowest level of the clouds. I circled above the lot and looked for Jon.

He was standing over by some of the newly modified Sport Utes. Though they’d been born with roofs, they had been partly removed and replaced with convertible tops. At least, the four seats had a convertible top that folded into a slightly bubbled top over the cargo area. Once more, the tops were designed a full two feet higher than before. It had a slightly modified look, but not nearly to the degree that most new and old cars did these days. Unfortunately, a lot of cars were going to be like this for a while. It takes years to totally remanufacture cars.

He’d been looking at the cars for a moment when the salesman finally walked out. I almost laughed out loud. He was a high Degree rabbit morph.

Perfect.

I let him and Jon talk for a couple minutes, then with a final circle, I bent my wings down and dropped like a rock. If this worked, it would be pretty impressive. I’d done it about five times before. Unfortunately, there were only three successful times. I kept falling to about 100 feet, at which point I brought my talons down and spread out my tail. I didn’t slow all that much. I let out a loud screech that merged into a "Hey, Jon!"

Both Jon and the salesman looked up as I passed about fifty feet. Jon’s mouth dropped open, but he recovered almost instantly. He’d known to expect something.

I thought the salesman was either going to run or have a coronary.

At the last second, I flapped my wings twice, hard, and felt my anti-grav power kick in for a moment. Bending my knees, I landed hard and fast on the flat parking lot of the dealership, only a few inches from the rabbit salesman. I looked over his head as if he wasn’t there.

"Sorry I’m late, Jon. I got so tied up at work today that I had to skip lunch." The salesman’s eyes, if it were possible, got a little wider.

Jon looked like he was ready to burst out laughing, but he held his composure well, even if his ears were sticking straight in the air and waggling slightly. "Oh, no problem. Brian, this is Mr. Rabbit, the salesman."

I reached out a talon as his paw came nervously out. "Actually, it’s Rabboue. I didn’t change it." he said as we shook.

Jon shrugged, "Whatever."

"So, uh, Brian. Are you here to buy a car today as well?"

I let my mouth hang open a little. Mostly to release a little heat, but partly because I was getting into the mood of this, and I knew the salesguy could smell it. "Unless they already have them for high Degree bird morphs, then it would seem to be a total waste of my time to even talk about it. Do they have them yet for high Degree bird morphs?"

The salesman looked suddenly like he wanted to somewhere, anywhere, else. "Ah, no. O-o-o-f course. I’m sorry. They won’t be released for a few more months at the earliest."

I smiled, "Well, then, how about showing Jon here a car? I’m just here to give him a hand."

Seemingly grateful, he turned away from me and back to Jon. I noticed that it took the salesman about thirty seconds to work his way into a position so that either Jon or one of the cars was between me and him at all times.

"So, ah, Jon. I know that you like these Sport Utes. What kind of features are you interested in?"

"Mostly room.", he pointed to his antlers, "These things are a part of me for a few months of the year, and they’ll probably be bigger next year. I also want most of the options, but not going overboard."

"What would you say your price range is?"

I was waiting for that question and spoke before Jon could, "Whatever you’re willing to give us, Mr. Rabbit."

Nervously, all he could say was, "That’s Rabboue."

Jon decided to take one for a test drive. He’d driven a similar model before, but it was before the change. Obviously, a lot would be different.

Since getting into the front seat would be pretty much hopeless, I popped open the rear cargo area, folded down the back seat, and basically laid down on my belly. Mr. Rabboue sat in the passenger side, and I made sure to maneuver myself over him as much as possible.

Jon adjusted the seat a bit and fit himself in. The seats had been modified for the most common new trait: tails. A large hole had been expertly cut into all the seats of the car and new cloth had been used to make it look like new. Putting the key in the ignition, he started it up. "Sounds good.", he said.

I opened my mouth a bit, "I don’t know. Sounds a little ferocious, don’t you think, Mr. Rabbit?"

He scooted forward a fraction of an inch, "Uh, no. It’s just that these cars aren’t run very often. It just need to warm up." He’d apparently given up on me getting his name right.

I saw the edge of Jon’s mouth rise ever so slightly (so slightly that I’m one of the few who would have seen it.) I just hoped that he didn’t bust a gut at some point.

For the most part, the test drive was uneventful. At least for me and Jon. I’d have to say that Rabboue was probably going to take a very long, very hot bath bookended by stiff drinks when he got home from work tonight. I questioned every little thing about the car, and managed to get the straight answers from him.

It was the first time that I ever heard a car dealer admit that the stereos they sell are way overpriced. That the undercoating makes no sense in California, and that the extended warranty really is a waste of good money.

Jon pulled back into the dealership. I’d been having fun, but he’d been listing to the car and the dealer. From the look on his face, could tell that Jon was most likely going to buy. If he could get a deal.

And I was willing to bet that the salesman was willing to make a hell of a deal…

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