"Dull by Default"

A Winds of Change Story

By: Trey McElveen

Crowds are convienent things: easy to find, simple to blend in. And that was precisely what I wanted to do at the moment. I dabbled a clawtip in the mustard of the hamburger that I was eating, sans bun and the rest of the toppings, of course, and watched the throngs of morphs walk by in the mall asiles. The plaza was particularly busy right now, being Friday afternoon and all, and the schools and businesses of the city were emptying out and parading in through the doors. The start of the weekend was a very much welcome; I really needed a rest from the past week.

Having a car is quite convienient, too. Right as the bell rang, I was out of the door and into the car, driving as far away from the prying eyes and astonished looks that many of my classmates cast me throughout the day.

With a sigh, I slit a small cube of the hamburger away with a claw and chewed on it slowly, following a few random people with my eyes: a mother sparrow and her belligerent son screaming for just a few more quarters for the local arcade, a Plague War veteran muttring epithets at the ATM machine, and the bored young otterian receptionist doing much the same that I was; watching the crowd pass by and losing herself in the masses.

"Hey."

The greeting was so subtle that it almost wasn’t enough to break the reverie I was in. I snapped myself out of it and turned up to see young Jennifer Brook, a fellow lioness like me, although she was far more willing in that fact than I was. She was wearing that same t-shirt and blue jeans combo that she had been at school, but now she carried a somewhat heavy purse over her left shoulder. I caugh myself before I spent the next thirty seconds ranting mentally about her ensemble of choice today.

It had only been a couple of days since I woke up a different gender than I was born, but already I was starting to notice very subtle changes in my behavior; not the least of which was that it took me four times as long as it usually does to get dressed in the morning. I spent at least twenty minutes comparing one set of slacks against the other, trying to color-coordinate what I was going to wear before I realized just what the hell I was doing.

And then I just realized I hadn’t replied to Jenn in the minute since I actually looked at her.

"Oh, hey. Sorry for being so spaced out there. Just kinda thinking."

She smiled and took the seat across from me, setting her purse on the ground and digging out a breath mint, "It’s okay. I can understand, really. The last few days must’ve been hell for you."

"You don’t know the half of it." She really didn’t. I spent hours on end after my homework was done wailing away at the wall in my mind, claws in, claws out, trying to literally think it away. Nothing worked, nothing. In fact, it seemed to taunt me more than anything, especially the freakish way the glass regenerated after I tore into it with my nails.

"Well, I’d like to say it’ll only get better…" She trailed off, sighing on her breath mint.

"Yeah." I cut myself another bit of hamburger and ate it swiftly. "That Pile jerk ever give you a hard time?"

"Nah, not really. Our schedules really confilct, so I don’t get to see him that much. Kind of a shame, though. He’d be really cute if he wasn’t such a complete prick."

I hesitated for a moment before saying, "Well, I really wouldn’t know." I had to stop myself from agreeing with her. Now I was talking boys with another girl! I needed a subject change, and fast!

"Todd’s coming home from the hospital today," I said over the roar of the crowds.

Jennifer’s face brightened a bit. She wasn’t quite as good a friend as the rest of the guys were to me, but she was still pretty close.

"Really? You know how the operation went?"

I sighed and shook my head, "No. I’ve been keeping to myself lately."

Jenn cut herself a chunk of my hamburger, to which I didn’t object, "I understand that too." She smiled and pointed at me, giving me a look that very sincerely portrayed empathy, "You know that if you never need any help, with… you know… girl stuff, you can always give me a call."

I blushed through my fur as I stood from the table and took my tray in my paw, "Mom’s offered already, but I’ll keep you in mind okay? I’m really sorry for leaving as soon as you get here, but I really need to go. I’ve got somewhere to be in a few minutes."

She looked disappointed, but said, "Okay, Man… Uh, Mano." I groaned and she shrugged it off, "Word gets around, you know."

I gathered my car keys from the table and picked up my backpack with the weekend’s homework, slinging the weighty sack over my shoulder with an unnecessary flourish, causing my much longer hair to fling around in my eyes. I scraped it out as I headed for the door, my free paw waving a goodbye to my friend.

I pulled up into Todd’s driveway and stepped out, reaching back in to get the backpack. I strolled up to the door, and rang the bell, and Todd’s father answered.

"Hey, Mr. Eiriksson. How’s Todd?"

The toucan smiled wingedly, "Mano! Todd’s been asking about you almost constantly. Where have you been?" He stepped aside to let me in, and I slid through and closed the door behind me.

"I’ve been keeping to myself for the past few days. I didn’t mean to ignore everyone, but it’s just been really hard to get used to all this."

We walked into the living room, and I looked around for a moment before Mr. Eiriksson said, "How have you been holding up, then?"

"Most everyone has been really understanding, and helpful," I looked at my paws and shuffled them around, saying softly, "I just don’t know. How’s Todd been doing?"

Mr. Eiriksson looked up and over my head, and suddenly I was bear-hugged from behind, literally picked up and spun around with much squirming and giggling in surprise. When I was set on the ground, I finally saw Todd for a split second before he wrapped his paws around me and hugged me rightly this time.

"Mana! I haven’t seen you for so long! How’ve you been doing?" I decided to ignore the name for the time being.

"It’s only been a couple of days, Todd, I’m fine!" He squeezed against me even harder, and I was starting to feel kind of uncomfortable. My torso didn’t lend itself to that style of hugging quite as easily as it had a week ago; new occupants and all down there. With some difficulty, I managed to break the hug and take a good look at Todd, up and down.

The ‘coon held out his once shattered leg and proudly displayed it, and I gawked at how pristene it looked, "Everything went better than I could’ve imagined! I got to walk out of the hospital and all!"

"That’s great, Todd!" I smiled and was about to swing the backpack around to fish everything I had brought for him out of it when he took my paw and started leading me down to his bedroom. I looked for Mr. Eiriksson, but found that he wasn’t anywhere to be found.

It all struck me as being very odd. I had only been out of touch with everyone but my parents for a day, but Todd was acting as if he hadn’t seen me for a year or more. And his paw was starting to squeeze mine very firmly.

"You’re being awfully affectionate, Todd. Is something up?" I squeaked in my rusty high alto as we moved into his room. I hated my new voice.

Todd either hated it too, or I had just touched a nerve. Well, no, more like shaved it half with a spoon judging by the way he ripped his paw away and started wringing them together, "Oh, I’m really sorry, Mana. I didn’t mean anything by it, honest."

I shrugged, "Heh, no problem, man. I’ve actually been getting quite a few looks from a lot of boys at school the past couple of days." I looked down at myself and remembered two nights ago, when I looked at my female self and what my still male mind screamed for me to do to it all night. Granted, it wasn’t the most unpleasant feeling, but still...

"And most of them have been from me, too." I finished.

Todd laughed and said between chuckles, "Well, you can count me in on that, too!"
What Todd said shouldn’t have surprised me, but it did nonetheless. I looked at him with not the least incredulous expression I was capable of and purred, "I can?"

Todd stammered for a moment, as if he had tumbled over some Freudian slip, "Well, I mean... Who wouldn’t, Mana?"

I frowned, "I wouldn’t."

Todd swallowed hard, "Oh. Well, I’m sorry then, but I think you really do look very beautiful."

I opened my mouth to retort, but I ended up smiling warmly and softed, "Thanks, Todd."

Why did I say that?

He pulled up a chair for me and offered, and I took it with a sigh, setting the heavy satchel on the floor next to me. "So what exactly happened with the operation. I see it was a real success."

Todd nodded emphatically, "I was asleep during the whole thing, but my parents said that my Change decided to cooperate for once." He pointed at his leg in certain places as he explained, "They put screws in here after they cut open the leg to get a good look at the bone. The screws were to set it into place while the Healer set everything straight. Seems that my Change was trying to grow me two legs out of my one, so before the Healer could do anything they had to saw off some extra bone."

I winced and purred, "Ouch, man. That doesn’t sound at all comfortable."

"Well, the Healer took care of a lot of that. After she had set the bone straight, they took out the screws and healed those, and then they clamped the incision and the Healer sealed that up as well." He patted his leg and chirred, "Like the whole thing never happened."

I make the suggestion of shooting you out of a tree, which breaks your leg, and now it’s like the whole thing never happened. Okay...

"Well, I wonder why they didn’t do that in the first place." I said after a moment of thought.

Todd sighed, "The price was incredibly expensive. Mom says it reminded her of hospital bills before the reform acts in the 80’s."

I cringed, "Four digits, hmm?"

"And the first one isn’t one."

I sighed, "Jesus, Todd." I began to heft the bookbag onto a nearby table, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but..." I tossed the heavy satchel onto the table, letting it land with a resounding thump.

The zipper on the overstuffed bookbag split open, and slid down with the force of the books bulging against it, sending them spraling along the edge of the table and onto the floor, making a horrendous clattering and spraying folded paper stick-ins everywhere.

I jumped back with a shriek as they hit the floor, surprised and frightened at the unexpected blunder, and Todd did the same, but more out of surprise from me screaming than from the books. After the dust settled, I stood breathing hard, my paw on my heart and surveying the damage.

"Well, shit." I breathed. "That scared the hell out of me."

"You yelling scared it out of me. That was kinda loud." He got to his knees and started organizing everything, "What exactly is all this for?"

"Well, your teachers pulled me aside as I was leaving school today and dropped off some homework for you so that you won’t get behind from the last two days of school." He cast me a disparaged look, and I mewed as I stuffed a couple of my folders into the bookbag, "Please don’t kill the messenger."

"Don’t worry about it. I’m sure my Mom or Dad put the call in or something, or Michael’s mom, at least." He sighed and recognized his books as he came to them, and put them aside for himself. "Besides, with all the school I’ve missed in the past month or so, I can’t really afford to miss anymore."

"Me either," I added, "But I suppose I can’t really complain too much. At least I didn’t have all the pain you had. I just got this damned girl’s body." I took a quick look down at myself, cursing my power for the umpteenth time.

It wasn’t took long before everything was back in some semblance of order, and I was double checking the zipper on my backpack.

"I don’t think it’s long for this world," I concluded after an examination, "I’d better look for a new one."

"We could go shopping for one tomorrow," Todd suggessted.

"Nah, it’ll live a little longer than that. Probably not mouch, though. Thanks for the offer." He chirred approval and nodded. Zipping the satchel up, I swung it over my shoulder and started for the door.

"That’s all I came here for. I’ll see ya later!"

"Wait, Mana! You have to leave so soon?" Todd fingered his palms as he waited for the answer.

What has got him so worked up? I thought to myself. He’s never this nervous around me usually. Then again, I’m usually another sex, too. Another more... disturbing thought pierced the one before, that I had to shake it off and away. No! That... That couldn’t be it.

"Yeah, I do. I’ve got a lot of homework to do myself. Sorry."

The raccoon took a deep breath and forced a smile, "Okay. Maybe another time?"

I purred. "Maybe."

I had a few more errands to run on my way home: filling the tank in the car, depositing some money into the ATM and checking the balance, little things like that. But my mind was pervaded with thoughts about Todd. He was certainly acting quite odd, to say the very least, almost like he was preoccupied with something very important. I knew that his operation was a very big event, but he didn’t seemed anymore concerned about it than a bug bite on his arm or a bad fur day.

And that had me bothered. He treated the whole thing like it was, well, nothing. But it was a big something, really big, and he didn’t seem concerned in the least. So that means that something else was on his mind.

I remembered that Mr. Eiriksson said Todd had been asking about me a lot. Constantly if I remembered correctly. And that skittish attitude didn’t help me disprove the developing hypothesis in my mind. But moment after moment, I kept returning back to the same idea: that Todd was preocucupied with me.

Why? I’m his best friend for crying out loud, not some girl that lives down the street! It’s just... wrong!

I dwelled on it for the remainder of the afternoon, and as I pulled into the driveway of my house, it was all I could think about, right up until I was ready for bed.

And sleep didn’t persuade the thoughts away either.

Saturday morning is not every child’s idea of fun. I like to keep my Friday nights open, so I put off my homework until Saturday morning, when I do some of my best thinking, in my opinion.

I took care of all the necessities: waking up and stretching, bathing and getting dressed, and eating breakfast with my father, who unfortunately had a lot of the same errands to run today that I took care of yesterday. I had really wanted to spend a little time with him discussing the options of my condition, like I had for the last few days, but he was already out the door as he took his last bite of eggs. I suppose foxes have always been the eat and run sort.

I went back to my room and moved the Nala plush off the facing, putting her up onto the table. I made sure the backpack didn’t explode this time as I set it on the desk, and I started organizing which subjects to take care of first.

History... no, maybe later. Biology? Yeah, that’s just multiple choice, so that’s first. Hey? What’s this?

My paw had in it something I’d never seen before. I looked it over; it was a nondescript spiral notebook, with a red covering and big, bold numbers that proclaimed it as one hundred pages and college ruled. A couple more turn-overs of the pad showed that it wasn’t fantastically new; it was as if it had seen a lot of use. I sniffed it, and the scent of paper was most prevalant, but I could also scent hospital smell and Todd as well. The smells were too much in quantity and strength to say that he had just stuffed it into the bakcpack as he was helping me yesterday: I was sure it was his folder.

I looked around like a thief about to commit his crime, and sat down with the notebook. Feline curiosity demanded of me to flip through it, and I purred as I turned the cover over and started thumbing through the pages. It was Todd’s notebook, all right. The first couple of pages were covered in algebra equations and notes, and they were all in my friend’s pawriting.

I read over the notes, remembering last year of school and the same notes that I took, the little taboo thrill of reading someone else’s property filling me with giddy mischief. I flipped the page again, and I gasped and dropped the notebook on the table, my paws covering my mouth to contain my surprise.

On the page, there was a drawing of a lioness head, the complextion and very look of it could have only been me, or some likeness of me, the rough drawing circled with a heart.

I just stared at the page for a few moments, dumbfounded at the sight. There was no mistaking that it was me, and that whoever had drawn it was trying to draw me, but it was so... romantic. Soft, loving, and caring. My paws returned from my muzzle to the page and traced the outline of the drawing, fingers sliding deftly over the lines, my touch replacing sight, eyes too stunned to do their job.

I just knew Todd had drawn it, and all my wanted doubts I had earlier ebbed away, dragging me kicking and screaming with it. How could he do this? I mean, I’m a boy, not a girl and one of his closest friends to boot! It was just wrong!

I shook off the daze as my right hand found its way to the corner of the page on its own volition and turned the page.

This one wasn’t much different, but it was full body this time, and again, it was me. I was just sort of posing in the typical fashion with typical garb on: a pair of raggen blue jeans from what I could tell and a loose fitting shirt. That, or Todd just didn’t want to bother detailing the upper body.

Looking at it though, I really could see Todd putting a lot of effort into the drawings, and I was quite flattered. A subtle line here, a mistake erased there, little things that tipped me off that he wasn’t just trying to doodle anything that came into his mind, but was drawing me and in a very sensitive fashion.

I felt the same dumbfoundedness come over me as I had with the first picture. He had been drawing me and meaning to do a good job of it. But for who? In a notebook like this, there wasn’t much of an audience, but maybe he was going to show them to me since I was the subject.

With a soft purr, I turned the next page.

Now this was not something that he would want to show me.

Again, just like all the last few pictures, it was me, but in a classic cheesecake pose: nude, with a sort of demure look on my face, my paws doing a shameful job of covering up my more vulnerable areas.

Again, my jaw dropped. I was drawn beautifully, and Todd artistic skill wasn’t half bad at all, but... but this was me! Me! Mano! His friend! What in the world has come over Todd? He couldn’t be falling for me... could he?

I turned the page, my mind repulsed at the thought.

Nothing, absolutely nothing short of having already lived it could have prepared me for what I saw on the other side of the page. My paws returned to my mouth, and my eyes were shocked back into a torpor.

It was another pencil drawing, in the same style as the first sketch, but it was completely different. It was me, and Todd, and we were... were...

Making love.

From the drawing, I could tell it wasn’t anything like the pictures I had seen on those late lonely nights on certain ‘Net sites. No, it had a much more loving touch, soft and compassionate with much care given to both of our poses than any of the former images. The way he was holding me was so tender, that even I felt my heart melt at the sight..

As I looked on, I flushed in my cheeks, heart thrumming against my chest so hard I swore it was demanding to be let out. Again, I touched the page, looking at the picture, noticing that every line was much more thought out, as if Todd had wanted this picture to be all it could be.

And as I brushed my fingerpads over the image, I could feel the turmoil between my two selves bubbling up inside, and leaking out my eyes in tears, soaking into my cheekfur as they slid down.

Page after page I turned, and there were more pictures of me, some flattering, some quite a bit less than. But all of them were obviously drawn with great attention of love and care.

He probably knew I had the notebook, and was probably completely freaking out about it with these pictures drawn it them.

I can’t tell him I looked at it, I can’t. It would probably break his heart or something. As I looked at the pictures again, I sighed aloud, "But they’re so... wonderful."

It was at that point that my mind started screaming at itself, and I was sort of forced back into the corner as two egos tried to battle for dominance. It was a numbing adventure, to say the least, male and female personalities brimming to the fore and boiling over like water in a kettle; violent upheavels in emotion cracking forth.

Each image stirred me more and more, driving my heart, mind and soul to overload, until I had broken down crying, sobbing my heart out over my books, animated images of the drawings playing themselves in my mind, and my body torn between digust and affection.

"Oh... Todd..."

Saturday, needless to say, was a complete washout after that. I spent the entire day walking or laying about and looking at those pictures. Before too long, the sun had set, and the homework was done, although shoddily. My mind was, after all, on something else.

I laid down for bed after I had done a few houshold chores and taken another shower. I got dressed for bed looking at the notebook and wondering just what I should do with it. I knew I had to take it back to him, but would I tell him what I saw or that I never looked through it? And what about all these feelings inside me? I don’t know whether to thank Todd or smack him.

I combed through my hair, looking at my form in the mirror and smiling apprecitively; it really was quite pretty. For my age, and from the pictures and other women I have seen, I wasn’t bulit too badly either. I had a nice figure, nice bust, nice hips. Perfect, really, like the girl I had always wanted to have as my other. Just perfect.

I purred and closed my eyes as I strolled over to my bed, normshifting slowly by using my Degree Change power, and slept.

It was the Wall. The psychadelic display swirled and writhed in front of me, and took to the task of wailing at it again, digging my claws into the glass scraping and yowling in frustration as it sealed back behind me. I beat against it with whatever I could manifest from infinity, listening to it reverberate, the color and light rippling as the glass shook from the force, but never once did it crack.

I kept at it though, beating aginst it with my mind and body, flailing with my paws as the tears poured down my cheeks, falling along the wall, down into nothing and everything. I bit at the flat panel, teeth squeaking in my head, the sharp canines not making a dent in the glass.

In a rage, I threw my head back and roared at the wall, just like many times before. It shook with the force, and I slammed both my forepaws against the glass. It shook with the force of the blow, trebling laughingly at me. I set my head upon it and cried, my chest heaving, tears smearing down the glass panel. I crumbled down, floating in the middle of infinity, huddled on myself.

It’s no use. I’m never getting out of here. Never... never...

I wept, paws catching my tears this time, trying to stuff them back in, not wanting to lose any more of them. I got to my knees, hanging there in space, the swirling colors piercing my eyelids.

"Mana?"

The voice did not surprise me. I looked up, my sopping cheeks streaming my tears and found Todd standing there, his paw outstretched to me. I took it, and he pulled me close to him, pressing his body warmly to mine.

I felt his heart beat, throbbing against my breast, his breathing heavy in my ear as I leaned my head on his shoulder.

"Todd?"

He put his paw on my cheek and brushed the tears away, guicing my muzzle to his. I turned my head and opened my mouth, and he took the kiss, his paws roaming over my back, all thoughts of the Wall dissipating in the warm, loving caresses and deep kiss...

I awoke to the screeching of the alarm clock, bleary eyed but extremely content. A musky scent hung in the air, but I was fully expecting to smell that after such a great dream. I was walking on clouds as I stalked out of the bed, morph shifting slowly to feel the luxurious changes in muscles as I stood upright, a huge feline yawn punctuating the change. I combed my hair out again and took a shower, trying to daydream the same dream.

His touch.... it was so... warm...

I sighed and purred as I cleaned up and got dressed, picking out a nice simple combination of blue jeans and t-shirt, and pulled my horns and the violin out of the floor of the closet.

So... so warm.

I sighed heavily, remembering the Wall, how it held me back from being me. But now, Todd. How.. how did he?

I piled everything into the car and drove silently in both voice and mind to Stripe’s house. When I pulled into the driveway, I saw Michael and Stripes both talking outside the garage. Michael had Changed just a bit since I last saw him; his head was pretty much complete in the Change, so just the rest of him was left to go. Stripes was rightfully called so, as he was in his zebra form at the moment. They waved to me as I gathered my things and headed inside.

Michael was the first to say something, "Still stuck, Mana?"

"Yeah. Kinda obvious, isn’t it?"

He grinned, "Hey, that’s my line."

Stripes laughed, "Well, glad you brought your horns, Mana. This is really going to be a good practice. We’re all here, finally!"

I beamed, "And I can play the horns again, too. Guess something good’s come out of this Power!" I thought that over and sighed for a moment, "Well, that’s one good thing to a lot of bad ones."

We exchanged a few more pleasantries and filed into the garage. Apparantly, I was the last arrived, because Jim and Todd were already set up and ready.

However, when Todd looked up to see me, he looked completely mortified. His expression reeked of embarrasment and fear, and I knew that he had not found his notebook.

My jaw shrank back and I gulped, looking him right in the eye, the drawings and the dream exploding to life in my head. I stepped to my place quickly, sitting down and taking out my alto sax in quick order, but far too quickly to be considered casual.

The wordless exchange between Todd and I had an immediate effect, and the room fell deathly silent as Michael and Stripes sat down behind their instruments. We just sat there for a few moments in the uneasy silence, Stripes picking the strings on his guitar, the sound echoing in the garage.

We all took a deep breath simultaneously and sat up, looking at one another, and out of nowhere, Stripes said, "These practices are starting to get kinda dull by default."

For some strange reason, that struck me as being so damned cool. A huge smile spread across my muzzle, and as I checked everyone else out, I could see that everyone else was having the same thing happen, including Jim’s beaky avian smile.

"Dull by Default," Todd said. "I like it."

There was no doubt about that. We all liked it.

Dull by Default was born.

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