Starry Starry Night

A "Winds of Change" story

by Doug Linger

I held my head in my hands, trying to will my headache away. It stubbornly refused to budge from my cranium, however, pounding away at the inside of my skull. At least the worst of it was over. It'll probably be gone sometime tomorrow. God, I hate hangovers, I thought bitterly.

I tried once more to focus my attention on the papers in front of me. My schoolwork had been brought home daily by my mom while I was out, but I was still in no condition to do all but the easiest of it. This paper I had to write on the behavior of tree swallows was driving me nuts. How was it even relevant to me becoming a chameleon, anyway?

I turned back to the screen. "Tachycineta bicolor as their common name suggests, prefer to remain off the ground. Predators lurk there, and so they like the branches much better. They're safe there." Jesus Christ, did I just write that? Groaning, I made liberal use of the delete button. It was going to be a long, lousy night.

Much like the day had been. Every class had been a nightmare. What had happened this morning had haunted me. I could hardly see the blackboard behind visions of Todd writhing in pain in his wheelchair. The fact that the asprin spray had only taken the edge off my hangover hadn't helped.

I sighed and tried to concentrate on my paper. It was, in theory, due tomorrow, although I knew I could get away with a few extra days due to my being drunk. Still, I hated turning things in late if it could be avoided. But the same images that had kept me from doing anything during the day kept coming back.

Finally I'd had enough. I transferred the file to my laptop and packed it up in my bag. I grabbed my new coat -- the one with the electric heaters in it -- and headed out.

My father was having his usual Evening Snack of breakfast cereal and fruit in the kitchen. It was actually the same snack, down to the brand names, that he'd always eaten before the Change. He was one of the lucky ones who had become omniviores. It looked like he was just starting in on the bowl, too. I cursed inwardly; I needed to go to the kitchen to get to the garage, and my bike. I took a deep breath and strode into the room, heading straight for the garage door. Maybe if I just do it, nothing will happen... I prayed.

No such luck. "Where're you going?" I heard behind me in the high, nasal voice that had been my father's since Change Day.

I turned around to face him. "Just out."

"Out," he repeated. His eyes shifted to look behind me, at my pack. Without turning my head I swiveled my eyes to follow his gaze. Nothing incriminating showed. "It is a school night you know."

"I'm done with homework," I lied.

The pause was excruciating. If he didn't believe me I'd catch major crap. A stern lecture about lying and destroying their trust or something. Not to mention about going out too late on a school night, even if it was only eight.

"Don't be out to late," he said sternly. I nodded agreeably and made for the door.

I grinned as I got on my bike and started out. My parents, generally, trusted me -- more fools they. I had learned years ago how to lie effectively to them. I merely had to do it on stuff they'd not inquire about elsewhere, which is one reason I almost never lied about school stuff. In nearly any other subject, though, it was almost a game to see if I could make them think I did something I didn't, or didn't do something I did.

Almost a game. I'mn not quite that unethical. My conscience usually took a jab at me when I did, which changed it from a game into a useful tool that I'm willing to pull out if I need it. But only with them. Anyone else, I did my damnedest to tell the truth to if I could help it. And this time my conscience isn't even jabbing me. After all, even if I did lie, it was to help get my work done...

My thoughts ended abruptly as I reached my destination: The Hill.

I killed the electric motor as I gazed up its slope. It was tall and steep. Not so much so to dissuade climbing, as the hiking trail proved, but enough to keep it from being developed.

I'd started coming here not long after I arrived. Back east I'd just used my room if I wanted some time to myself, but since the move it seemed I needed more. The Hill was perfect. Near, isolated, and natural. This was the perfect place to come and think, especially at night when I didn't have to worry nearly so much about hikers intruding on my thoughts.

The top was, as always, magnificent when I got there. I could see for miles on a clear day, and forever on a clear night like this one. I sat down at my favorite spot, beneath the branches of a small tree. On one side of the hill I could see the lights of the town laid out below me. To the other was mostly dark, undeveloped forest. The best of both worlds. Magnificent, like I said. If it weren't so cold it'd be perfect.

I turned up the heat in my coat to get rid of that last complaint and leaned back against the tree. Instead of getting out the laptop and getting to work, however, as had been my intent when I left, I smply looked up at the open sky above me. There was a crescent moon providing just enough light to see by without washing out many stars. I lay back, just looking up, for some time.

But one cannot not think. Eventually my thoughts returned to that inevitable subject that had been plaguing me all day. They wouldn't stay away for long, today. This time, I let them come.

The problem was, there wasn't much I could do. I could cut class and visit him at the hospital tomorrow when that person with Healing came, if I wouldn't have gotten in so much trouble I'd be in college before I was out. I'd missed far too much school recently, and I didn't need to miss any more. Even I realized that.

Even if I could manage to get out of class without repercussions, what would I be able to do? Pace and worry, is all, which is no more that I could do in school. I don't have any Powers that could help Todd that others around here don't have. Heck, I had no Powers at all, so far as I knew, except for Norm Shift, which hardly counted.

I couldn't help, but I sure did a good job of screwing him up. With a sigh I leaned my head back against the trunk and closed my eyes. If it hadn't been for me he would never have gotten away from the school, never have gotten lost, never have gotten hurt. If only I'd held onto him... I still thought, deep down, that I could have managed. Even so long after the event, it still was a painful memory.

I sighed again. This entire Change was beginning to get under my skin -- other than in the usual sense, that is. A person's Change Year is suposed to be a great time, full of discovery about his new form and animals in general. It was supposed to be great, signing that someone is finally maturing, was worthy of being treated as an adult.

But nothing seemed to be going right with our Changes. Jim might lose his hands -- although personally I doubted that'd happen, he was certainly worried over it -- and had the most fucked-up version of Norm-Shift I'd ever heard of. Stripes could change between at least three dffernt forms, which would be fine except he can't seem to choose when he changes, or at times even if. Mano had trouble even keeping her gender straight, along with her musical problems. And, of course, there was Todd. I seemed to be the only person who'd escaped unscathed.

As if on cue, I felt an all-too-familiar tingle and push on my head. My eyes bulged, and I could see the small bump at the tip of my snout erupt into a full-fledged horn. Two more protruded forward from just in front of my eyes.

So much for unscathed. I just got hit with the ugly stick. That wasn't strictly true; with the coming of the Change, and the resulting reptile and fish morphs, it took a lot to be considered "ugly". Still, that hardly made people like me handsome.

"God damn it, I came up here to get away from depressing thoughts," I muttered angrily. I'm not usually concerned about my appearance at all; I generally did the least work neccessary to look marginally presentable to the public. Scales instead of hair and skin would actually make my life easier, generally. I just needed something to bitch about, tonight.

The surge had apparently continued past my neck and into my shoulders, judging by the scales I found there when I looked. I was willing to bet my head was more or less fully Changed, now. Good thing, too. I almost have to concentrate to keep my eyes still. I hoped that'd become more automatic with time.

By itself -- literally -- my eye wandered to my pack. My laptop made a rectangular outline against the fabric. Guess I'd better get to work, I thought, resigned, and reached over.

The surge had helped get my mind off the more depressing subjects where the location had not. It was going to be a crappy report, I knew, but it would at least be on time. These days, that was something in itself.

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