Imagine my surprise when I find out that my shortcuts are messed up.

Wait, before I get into this story, I have to clarify something. I'm talking about computer shortcuts, not RL ones, which take you across people's lawns, through their rose bushes, and past their (hopefully) sleeping dogs. Computer shortcuts don't get you in trouble with the cops, and they won't result in a phone call to your mother with the complaint that another bed of flowers is toast.

Okay, back to the story. Imagine my surprise when I find out that my shortcuts are messed up. Well, apparently Radar cleaned them up in her profile, forgetting that hers and mine are somehow linked (while Boba Fett's aren't). This means that some of my shortcuts are also missing.

Now, while I've fixed IrfanView's shortcuts, I am still sure that some of my shortcuts are missing. Radar's sure they aren't. One thing's for certain. I don't know my computer as well as I should. I mean, I know where some of the stuff I use can be found. But I don't know everything.

From now on, I'm going to talk to the computer more. Get to know the inner processor. Have conversations, and figure out how the computer thinks. If we become the best of friends, we'll be able to tell if something's wrong with each other. I'll start with finding out what kind of music it likes. I'm pretty sure Linkin Park is too harsh. Perhaps some music from the computer's era would be more appropriate.

All that furry art I view can't be too enjoyable for him. A lot of it is . . . questionable. Perhaps some G-rated fare would be better.

I hardly read anything on him anymore, but if I do, I'll make sure I view some classical literature. Charles Dickens, Mark Twain, and other books I'm sure he'll enjoy.

Chatting will have to change as well. I realize I choose my own chat rooms, and not even think about what the computer wants. This one will take some time to work out.

Basically I need to treat the computer like a person, with feelings. Maybe then I'll feel more like a friend than a stranger . . . darn, it didn't work. None of my shortcuts are back.


©2002, CW Tyger
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