Your doorbell plays the first six notes to the chorus of "The Circle of
Life"

  
  "Like the fur?  I'm a lion, baybeeee!  Rowr!"

  
  Despite months of naked lounging on the Serenghetti plain, the lionesses
still don't seem to accept you as one of their own


  Your wife suffered a mild concussion after forgetting to duck when using
the newly installed "Pride Rock Toilet"

  
  Your birthname: Morris, Johnathan 
  Your drivers licence name: Fluffy-Stud-of-Furrydom, Simba D.

  
  Death, taxes, unemployment -- they're all the fault of that bastard lion,
Kimba

  
  Your brother expresses his dislike for your response to everything he
says -- "IS THAT A CHALLENGE?!"

  
  Girlfriend isn't buyin' the "lions do it every two minutes" argument


  Wife not amused by being flung down the stairs and licked on the cheek


  While looking to the sky and begging forgiveness for murdering your
father,  dad taps you on the shoulder and nervously asks if you are on crack


  UPS has just dropped by to deliver your lust sized Nala -- *all* of the
local UPS crew, and for some reason they're laughing


  You mark your yard's territory all by yourself, if you know what I mean


  Newschopper activity has picked up noticeably since you painted "HEIL
SARABI" on your roof


  Your name is N'gucktu, and boy oh boy will the tribe impressed with the
steam powered Beta player you built now that FedEx finally found you and
delivered The Lion K... WHAT?  WHAT THE HELL IS VHS


  Doh, gotta go to work. :)






 

-Ryan                                        http://www.lionking.org/~ryan/
ryan@lionking.org        ICQ: 1953628        PGP key ID: 0x3EDDA6CA

  I agree that this signature is too short.  I'd attach pages and pages of
        useless junk to it, but my email software is too antiquated.  
                        Please don't ostracize me.