This disclaimer does hereby make the poster of this letter 100% Non-prosecuteable, because the reader has read this line of text. =) HOnestly... This story is just plain stupid. So STUPID, in fact, I had to post this warning paragraph. THere is a little Mature content... well... It's content... Though the persons in the story weren't very mature. Ooh... And It sort of has some dark stuff in it, too. Anyway... YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!! >=} (And of course.. having posted this disclaimer... now alot of underagers are going to definitely read it. For shame!!) USE DISCRECION... however it's spelled!! The Mysterious Boogety-Shoo of Pridelands High. By: (Oh geez... Do I *Really* have to tell them?) Okay! Okay! I'm RINDIMO!!!! It was a warm, beautiful late summer afternoon on the Pridelands Savannah. From her little patio on Pride Rock, Sarafina happily sighed in her reclining lawn chair, as she felt the weakening sun beams caress her body. Yes, Being the mother-in-law was GOOooOOOOOOoooOD. She did so enjoy dozing off on her own private patio. All that Jabbering she kept up had finally paid off... and Simba had this thing built to keep her away from him. With her sunglasses on, she began to doze off, as a new romance novel starring Furbio laid on her rhythmically rising chest... "Mom?" Whispered Nala, as she gently tried to rock Sarafina awake. "MMMmmm," giggled Sarafina, as she squirmed a bit in her lawn chair, "Furbio, my love..." "MOTHER!" "Oh! Oh my!" Sarafina jumped up in her seat. "Oh, Nala... It's just you... WHat a pleasant surprise! What is it you want, dear?" Nala sat down on the chair next to Sarafina, and gave a despaired sigh. "Mother... Who's my father?" Sarafina quickly averted her eyes, and it was apparent she was caught off guard. The look on her face suggested she was desperately looking for a quick answer... But Nala was no longer the little naive girl she used to be. "Forget it," Nala disgustedly got up, and began to walk back into Pride Rock. "WAIT! Wait Nala... Please Wait!! ....I'll tell...." "The truth this time, Mom... No more of this 'He went on vacation, and was eaten by a hippo' type stuff." Nala's eyes were watering with tears of hurt, but she was determined to hear the truth. Sarafina motioned for Nala to sit down next to her, as she folded up her book, and laid it aside. "Oh, Nala! I never meant to hurt you so!" Sarafina hugged Nala with some tears in her own eyes. "This was all my fault to begin with... not telling you and all... You definitely are old enough to finally hear the truth..." And with that, Sarafina Began to dig through the years she had so desperately tried to forget: "I guess you could say I was an early bloomer..." "WHAT??!! You mean I'm ILLEGITIMATE??!!" "Who's telling this story?! You or me?" "Sorry..." "Anyway-- I feel so terrible now-- I was what some would call a 'Mane chaser.' I was so young, and had no guidance... I just did what every adolescent naturally felt at the time.... Much to my chagrin. ...All the boys *knew* me... if you know what I mean... I couldn't seem to control myself... Oh, Nala! I'm so glad you weren't like me-- all that premarital stuff... I'm so happy you didn't take that path,and waited until after you were married!" "Umm... yeah mom. Me too." Nala nervously looked away, as she rememberred a certain jungle scene... "Anyway... As I have said... I was quite the party animal... But the one night I'll never forget... was Prom night at Pridelands High School..." "WHAT??!!! You told me you met dad at college!!!" "AHEM... WHO'S telling THIS story, young lady?" "Hmmph!" "Now... as I was saying... All along, I've always been 'friends' with Mufasa and Scar... (Scarfonz with all those brains... and ... Big, Strong Jockfasa...) and that particular night we decided to crash the Prom (we were quite an unruly gang back then.). We stole some of their father Ahadi's best alcohol from his cellar... After all... Mufasa and Scar lived there at Pride Rock. Then we tied up and gagged the principle, and all the teaching staff, cranked up the music... and spiked the waterhole-- REAL GOOD. Everything was really groovy... until the T-Bones came along..." "T-Bones?" "They were from the school on the other side of that rise in the Northern border... Geyser High, was it? Ah well... They brought some of their own records... and then the party REALLY ROCKED!" Sarafina had to get ahold of herself. She was unconciously shaking the lawn chair by its arm rests. "Mom?" "I know... I know... It was wrong..." "What's a record?" "Oh. That. Um... It's like CD's... only bigger... and you used a needle instead of a laser..." "Oh! Like that machine Thomas Edison invented! Okay..." "Hmmph! Just wait when it's your turn," Sarafina crossly replied, "and see what your kids will think of CD's!!" "Sorry Mom! Geez!" "Anyway... Little did we know... While we were dancing with these other party crashers... One of THEIR gang members spiked the waterhole AGAIN! Now I've had my share of alcohol, but let me tell you, that stuff was some liquid fire! Hee hee!! All I remember after that, was one of the T-bones challenged us to a dance contest... Which just turned into one helluva Boog-a-loo! And..." "Mom?" "Yes?" "You're losing me with all this old talk.." "Okay... It escalated to the point things were becoming rather... uh... how should I put this lightly without saying what I saw and did?..." "Never mind... I think I got it..." "Good. Well... All I know is after a few drinks... I couldn't remember much except for this one real cool daddio. He was sorta short, dark, and a load of laughs! I never had such fun with him in my entire life! At least... that's what I remember about him. I don't quite remember seeing him any where at Pridelands High... So he must have been one of those lions from the outlands or something... All I rememberred... was waking up in a beer drenched miniskirt... and well... that was barely all there was to cover me! I found Mufasa and Scar Passed out a little ways off from where I was..." Sarafina paused for a while... her mind rolling with mixed feelings over the past. "All I had to show for that night, was half an outfit, and this..." Sarafina pulled out the bookmark from her romance novel. "A bookmark!!?? What about me?! You got me too!!" "Well I didn't know YOU were on the way!! Believe me, I wasn't happy, either! But I did my best... and here you are! A queen of the pridelands!" "Illegitimate Queen..." "That's not true!" "How'd you even end up living at Pride Rock, anyway?" "Easy! Mufasa and Scar couldn't remember what happened that night either... both felt it could've been them. That's what sorta started that feud between the two of them... I feel kinda bad about that... I was hoping ol' ScarFonz and Jockfasa would let bygones be bygones... I mean, after all... you've become such a pretty lioness..." "So what about my dad? WHo is he?" "The best sweet talker around..." "What?" "He knew just what to say to me to get me.. Uh, ah..." Sarafina looked away. "EWW, MOM!" "Hey! I was a teenager too, you know! Anyway... he said the cutest words!" Sarafina wiggled in her seat, and swung her arms around to some forgotton beat. "Bom-Bom-Bom-Bom-Bop! Boogety-Boogety Shoo!" "Mom... you're scaring me. You mean to tell me THOSE words had... THAT effect on you?" "Well I was drunk! What did you expect? A Shakespearean love poem?!" "You still haven't told me who he is!!" Sarafina burst into tears at this point. In heaving sobs, she finally admitted, "I DON'T KNOW!!! Oh, Nala, I'm not even certain if it was the Boogety-Boogety SHoo guy...." Sarafina buried her head into her daughter, and proceeded to baul her eyes out... and moisten Nala's fur coat. "It's okay," Nala comforted, "It's not your fault..." "Oh, yes it is! Who do you think went 'Hmmm... What do you think, Sarabi?'??!! I was the one that invited her to that party! I'm terrible! Simply terrible!" "You mean, Mufasa, and Sarabi...??!! That means Simba...??!!" "...Are all Illegit SH-" "MOTHER!" "And it's all my fault!" "Okay... So it was. But you're right mom... You did raise me right! You did try your best to mend your ways through me!" "I wanted you to not live like I have, Nala. Someone had to end it... and after that... I decided I'd be the first." Sarafina stopped crying so hard, and began to just sob hard. Nala quietly brushed what residue she could off of her. "You're right, Nala! I have made a difference with you! I have paid my dues!" Nala thought to herself, "Paid you dues??!! Mom, you had to get a new kidney!!!" "Here," Sarafina happily sniffed, "I want you to keep this. He may not be the one... But I'd rather you have him than any of the others..." "Thanks Mom," Nala smiled, "I'll take good care of it." She flipped it over, to see some writing on it. "What's this?" "A note he left for me. Poor guy... He was so drunk... I could never decipher it. Normally, when you're THAT drunk, something happens to your brain, and you're messed up for the rest of your life..." "I'll treasure it anyway," Nala whisperred as she Hugged, and kissed her mom, before she walked off the patio, and back into the Pride Rock Mansion... "Nala?" "Yes?" "Do you really forgive me?" "Mom, I've always loved you reguardless of you faults. Why stop now?" Sarafina smirked, "Thankyou. I wish I could say more, or do something to show you how greatful I really feel..." "Mom, just be as good to Kiara, as you have been to me, okay?" "Sure thing, Honey. Sure thing..." Sarafina happily whisperred into the starlit sky... THe end. One Day, Kiara was looking through some old books, when a Bookmark fell onto the desk she was leaning over. "Kiara!" Nala Chided, "Ask for one of us if you want a book you can't reach!" Kiara quickly put the book down on the desk, and hopped out of the chair she was standing in. "Sorry, Momma." "That's okay, honey. Just don't do it again. Now look. See? you're making papers fall every whe--" Nala froze. There was the bookmark sitting under a positional magnifying glass/lamp. That wasn't what caught her eye. What caught her eye, was the reflection of the bookmark through the unfocused magnifying glass, and onto a mirror. "MOTHER!!!" Nala screamed, as she grabbed Kiara, and dashed for the patio-- her entire body shaking. There it was in plain english: "To my dearly beloved, I don't know if it was the alcohol, But You've not only fulfilled all my dreams, but created far more than I could imagine possible! It seems so clear now! Our lives were destined for greatness! Our children will have an effect on others for the better of our races! I've never loved a lioness before... and as soon as I return from my long academic journey to be a neural surgeon, I want to marry you. You and me, Forever. Our pups will be forever greatful. So as I look at your beautiful body in the moonlight, I felt to just toast to your beauty, and our future! (seeing you're all ready passed out) That is, after I'm done scribbling this note on my anatomy bookmark. Sorry for the small print. Forever yours, -Ed Hyena Go Geyser High School! Heh... A strange mix... I just hope I didn't stomp on too many toes. I wonder if this will answer that question forever plagueing the TLK society. Whatever. Ah well.. I enjoyed writing it. A strange... different Rindimo post. not exactly funny... not exactly... Um.. whatever. ah well... I write better than I babbel. I just came up with this tonight. DOn't know where, how, or WHY though... =) Wondering about himself, -Rindimo --  The Tiger is made to kill and hunt, The Lion too, but more towards fight. The Leopards and Jaguars were made to climb, And Cheetahs made for earthly flight. But there is one creature of forgotten lore: Shrouded in mystery, be that it's trade, Of other virtues, it has all four- Respect the Puma, and what God made. -Rindimo E-mail Address: Rindimo@bellsouth.net *If you can read this, then I am still an eligible bachelor!*  Founder (and only member) of: The L.O.S.T.- C.A.U.S.E. (League Of Simplistic Technology- Causing All Unforseen Solutions Evident) K.I.S.S.: Keep It Simple, Stupid. (Long neglected scientific principle)