.			How Zira Notched Her Ear.
			  By: Rindimo Cheetah


	It all happened so quickly...  Scar was always one to get carried away
in things, and in the HEAT of it all...

	<Snickers>  Ha ha!  I fooled you!  here's the real story:

	Before the final battle between the Outlanders, and the Pridelanders,
there had been many skirmishes previously.  Each one was essentially an
experiment on the part of Zira.  She observed each encounter with the
open-mindedness of a scientist at work.  She carefully noted the
weaknesses, the strenghths, and the other things that would account for
a successful, final battle should one come.  Then, when the needed data
was gathered, the small band quickly retreated back to their territory,
and to a better-revised training.
	It was one of these early incidents that Zira decided it best to  have
her troops wear some sort of protection.  Something that would blend in
with the terrain, and give their side an edge.
	That fateful afternoon, the outlanders hobbled into the range of
Priderock in their new root armor.  It was a fearsome sight for all to
see:  roots woven around each individual lioness from their nose to
their tail.
	"Simba!!!!" Zira Shouted, "Come on out, you weenie, and fight me!"
	"Not again..." Simba sighed as he trotted out from the cave.  "Can't it
wait?  I was kind of in the middle of something..."
	"ATTACK!" Zira shouted from the top of her lungs.
	Quickly, a dozen or so lionesses quickly skooted as fast as their
impeded appendages could carry them.
	"GRRRR..." They all utterred, as they bumped into Simba, and tried to
nip at him through their heavy armor.
	"Ha ha ha!!! Is that the best you can do?" Simba guffawed at the
pitifulness of this attack, as he deftly pushed the lionesses over onto
their backs.
	"WHA WHA WHA!!!???" Zira gasped in horror to see her crafts classes on
basket weaving had gone all to waste.  Enraged, she tore her tailored
root-mail off, and ran up to meet Simba.
	"C'mon, you punk!" She shouted as she stood up on her hind legs, and
began to bob and weave, as she threw some punches in Simba's direction.
	"So, you want to play hardball, eh?" Simba growled as he too, took the
stance. 
	"Like yours are hard.  Ha!  C'mon, pansy!  Let's see if you're as good
a bleeder as you look!"
	"I warn you, Dad taught me a thing or two about boxing."
	"Your daddy?  HA! Don't make me laugh!  I didn't win the Golden Gloves
in the Bronx back in '69 by luck!" 
	"You're well past your prime, grandma!  Go away, and take your lawn
ornaments with you!"
	"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHWW!"  Zira
suddenly placed a direct hit into Simba's Solar Plexus <BTW, that's not
where some of you are thinking.>, and continued an excellent combo with
a left hook to the head.
	"YAY!  YAY!  Go ZIRA!" Shouted all the tipped-over lionesses.
	Simba was definitely at a lost.  Despite her age, Zira had excellent
stamina, and endurace.   Not to mention years of hardened muscle on her
bones.  You had to be good, to win the men's tournament like she did. 
And by golly, she was good!
	Even if Simba did get any punches well placed onto a part of Zira's
body, her tolerance for pain was phenomenal.  Of course, when you're
pounding pure raw muscle....
	With a few more hits, Simba's world began to darken.  he could already
feel the countless bruises forming on his spoiled physique.  Had he a
leaner diet, and more excersise, he would have at least stood a chance
to putting up a challenge to the old champion.
	But there was one last thing that he could do.  Simba had enough of
this fight, and quickly grabbed Zira in a bear hug in order to try and
hold her arms down.  But that was not all.  Simba was angry he was
losing.  He wanted to get back to Nala in the cave, and forget these
stupid annoyances-- no thanks to Zira.  So Simba spat out his mouth
guard, and bit Zira's ear.
	Everyone gasped.  Both the outlanders, and the Pridelanders stared at
Simba in terrified disgust.
	"OOOOOH..." Zira said as her leg began to twitch.  "Why Simba, if you
wanted that, why didn't you ask??  Whuh... wait a minute... MY EAR!  YOU
BIT OFF MY EAR! OH-HO-HO-HO!  YOU MONSTER!!!  I'll play with you first,
and then... I'LL KILL YOU!!!!" 
	"Eep!"  Simba began to back away at the enraged... yet very... uh...
"Excited" Zira before him.  It seems violent actions sort of has a
strange effect on her...
	"Okay, Okay people," Nala shouted, as she broke up the fight, "The
show's over!"
	"Oh no, Nala," Zira commented, "Simba and I have barely begun!"
	"It's over Zira," Nala sighed, "you win by default.  ...No thanks to
Mr. "Mike Tyson" over here..."
	"WHAT!" Simba exclaimed, "She started it!!!"
	"Sorry, you stupid oaf!" Nala cuffed Simba. "You broke the rules, you
lose."
	"At last!  I'm the queen once more!  POWER!  Phenomenal POWER!  ...and
Simba...  My new SLAVE!  Haa haa haa haa!!!!"
	"WHAT!?!?" Simba exclaimed. "No no no no no!  Out!  Get outta here, you
stinky old lioness!!!"
	Zira smiled as she and her soldiers began to leave the pridelands. 
With an evil grin, she winked back at Simba.  "Don't worry hon, you'll
come to your senses soon enough."  And with that, she walked off into
the sunset, leaving a very disgusted Simba behind.  

				The End.
	

 
				-Rindimo Cheetah
			        (rindimo@bellsouth.net)

+Founder, and only member of L.O.S.T.-- C.A.U.S.E (League Of Simplistic 
	Technology--  Creating All Unforeseen Solutions Evident)
+FCOS Lost & Found Clerk 						ICQ # : 12915153
+Amateur Artist/Writer/Musician						AOL IM : Rindimo1
+Bachelor  ?  <=7	 		Webpage: 
http://www.lionking.org/~rindimo/index.shtml
+ Honorable Member of the Pride Keepers.
"One thing nothing can destroy, is our pride deep inside we are one!"

*********************************************************************
Well don't stop.  Whatever you do, don't stop.  Because as soon as you
			stop, you're forgotten.

			        - Mageuzi
*********************************************************************

From: Snowcat

>Here's what I wanna know:
>How the knotch on Zira's ear changed sides. :p

<slurp> *belch*

"I coulda been shomebody!  I coulda been a contender!  <hic>  Work in
Continuity, they shaid.  It's your <bleep>in' stepping shtone to bigger
things!"  <slurp>

"Don't Bogart that bottle, man.  <grabs the bottle, and brushes aside a
small mound of empties to make room for his gin glass>  Well <hic> well
<hic> it's an important job!  We should be proud of our work!"

<first speaker points belligerently in the other speaker's general
direction>

"I'm <bleep>in' proud of my work!  Maybe I'm just a Continuity guy, but I'm
the besht <bleep>in' continuity guy who ever worked for thish place!"

<Courier enters bearing a roll of film>

"Here's the latest footage.  Go to it, boys."

<Second speaker waves magnanimously toward the viewer>

"Load it up, lad!  Have a drink while you're here!"

<Courier loads the tape into the machine>

"Uh, sorry.  Not while I'm on duty.  Different union, you know.  We don't
have that luxury."

<First speaker snorts>

"Yeah, yeah.  Rub it in.  We're just low-life Continuity scum!  We may be
looshers, but we've got our pride!"  <slurp>  "Shay.. this had better not
be Upe <hic> Upendi again!  I've shent it back FIVE times now, and they
shtill haven't got it <bleep>in' right!"

<Courier finishes threading the film>

"It's not Upendi."

<First speaker roughly shoves the courier out of the way>

"Leshee... whatta we got here?"

<Gronk and whir as machinery springs to life>

"Alrighty... well, they all got legs..."

"...and tails..."

"...none of them wearing wristwatches."

<Second Continuity guy punches the first one on the shoulder>

"Wrist watches?  <slurp> <hic> They're *lions*.  They don't wear <bleep>in'
watches!"

"<bleep> you!  I knew a lion that wore a watch once."

"Theresh no lion!  You're the lion one!"

<both break into a fit of drunken giggles... but the first Continuity guy
breaks off in a gasp>

"Oh my DOG!  There's a big THUMB in the picture.  Oh, the humanity!  It's
huge, and hideous!"

<Second continuity guy blinks for a second, and laughs until cheap gin comes
out his nose>

"Thatsh YOUR thumb ya shtupid drunk wiener!  You got it over the viewer!"

"Oh... so it is!  Hee hee heee <WHUMP> Ow!  Did the room jusht go
horizontal?"

"You're chair fell over."

<Courier has been tapping his toes patiently.  Checks his watch a couple of
times.>

"So, what is the prognosis?"

<Both in unison>

"Looks good."

<First Continuity guy>

"Hey, buddy, why doncha see if you can bring back that Upendi clip again?
Even if they can't get it right, it's a catchy <bleep>in' tune!"

<Both Continuity guys are pounding the table and singing as the courier
bundles up the film to leave>

"... where the passion fruit grows sweet ..." <etc>


- - -

And THAT is how Zira's notched ear came to be on the other side in that
scene.

* Snowcat