Mr. Bananabeak wrote: > As you might know my mind sometimes works in mysterious ways. *YOUR* mind??? ;) Hee hee... > And this > time it drew my attention to Timon. It's got to do with this line : > Somebody get that kid a beeper ! > Some of you found this a less succesfull gag in SP, but since it's in > there, let's discuss it. How would that beeper look like in Disney's > TLK-land ? No modern technologies (batteries, sattelites, GPS) are > allowed. Get those creative minds working and a few days from now we > might be ROTFLOTO (rolling over the floor laughing our tails off. Or > tailfeathers in my case ;) > Comments VERY welcome ! > Rob *happy happy joy joy*, who's got a constant smile and didn't even > "brush his teeth" ! Hee hee... I wonder if I am the only one that figured out your little "Toothbrush" joke. We must be birds of a feather! ;) Get technical, eh?? Okay, here we go! =) Beep Me if You Need Me. By: The 'n Rindimo Cheetah Simba carefully eyed the cheetah approaching Pride Rock with a grain of uncertainty. Sure, he's always been deemed harmless, but one tends to wonder why he lives near the elephant graveyard, near the boudaries of the pridelands. There have even been rumors the fumes have done something to him. But rumors are rumors. Simba needed his help reguardless. Even Rafiki was puzzled what to do with the current situation with Kiara. Though Rindimo had quite a large package tied to his back, he bounded happily up to the mouth of the main cave where Simba had been watching him all along. "Hey Simba, I touch your mane... Right?" "No, that's okay," Simba angrily replied. The last time that happened, it took well over a month for his mane to grow back. "Hee hee... Okay, be that way. SO-- I hear you need my help? What's the problem? You want Pride Rock lowered closer to the ground, don't you? YAY!" "No no no!!! I told you, it's fine the way it is!" "Crud." "What I *DO* need, is a way to keep tabs on Kiara. She keeps running off, and I want to be able to contact her, and let her know I want her home. NOW." "What? You're not worried that Kovu won't protect her from harm, are you?" "It's different, but yeah, it deals with Kovu a bit." "Hrm...." Rindimo ponderred. "... ... ... ...Well???" Simba grew impatient. "Oh. Sorry. Hee hee... Where did my mind wander off to??" Simba rolled his eyes as the cheetah began to open the large package he had brought from his little lair. With awe, Simba and the lionesses watched as he put together a bunch of wooden rods, rocks, pieces of fur, and some sort of shiny substance that sort of looked like rock. What really amazed them, was what looked like a piece of the sky. You could see through it, yet, you could still tell it was there. Rindimo noticed their astounded expressions, and calmly told them it was something called "glass" that abounds in the elephant graveyard from all the volcanic activity. "Taa-daa!!" the cheetah triumphantly shouted after he finished assembling all the materials together. "What... is it?" Simba prodded. "Your answer to your problems. I call it BOB." "Bob?" "It's a pet name, really..." "So how does Bob work?" "Simple, really. I'll show you." Rindimo hopped onto a part of the machine, and began to run on a treadmill. Connected to the treadmill made of hide and bone, were two disks. One had fur on it, the other was of a shiny luster. "You run on the treadmill," Rindimo explained, "And it turns these two plates." "What do those do?" "Ever rub your furry feet along the stone floor of your cave?" "Yes..." "And then, when you nuzzled your mate, you recieved a shock?" "Yeah..." "That's what the furry plate, and the metal plate do. I got them rigged up, where we store the static electricity--" "The WHAT?" "Erm... Magic..." "Oh. As you were saying?" "Well... Then the electricity-- Er, Magic-- is stored in these leyden jars..." "The what?" Rindimo sighed. "These glass jars filled with water and have a wire stuck in them are called leyden jars. Got that? They store up the magic like your body does when you rub your feet along the ground." "Oh, I see. But what's the point in all of this??" "I'm getting there... Hold on. Now that you have ran on the treadmill a good while to store some magic, you push this button over here." Rindimo hopped off of the treadmill, to show Simba the wooden button linked to two contact plates. "Here, Hold this." Rindimo handed Simba a small box. "What is this for?" "This is what your daughter will wear for when you push the button. It makes a sound. Watch when I push the button." Indeed, as Rindimo pushed the wooden button, suddenly a horrible screeching noise burst from the small box simba was holding. It even vibrated a little bit, too. "WHOA!" Simba exclaimed. "How did it do that?" "Simple," Rindimo began in his scientific manner, "These leyden jars are connected to a nicely calibrated spark gap. When you push the button, the 'magic' shoots between these two metal balls I have sitting over here. To explain what happens would take too long, but the magic causes some of it to end up in the box you are holding. In the box, I have a piece of metal stuck to a flexible diaphragm of hide, and that itself has a lode stone behind that..." "Whats a lode stone?" Simba exasperatingly asked. "It's a magic rock that sticks to metal when it gets near it." "Where'd you learn all of this??" "What? Didn't your mama ever teach you anything?" "Yeah... uh..." "Anyway," Rindimo sighed, "inside the box are two metal balls the same distance apart as the ones hooked to the treadmill. When the magic does its stuff, the wires connected to the balls inside the box are also connected to the lode stone. This does something to the lode stone, where it pulls the piece of metal attached to the hide towards it. When that's all over, the hide vacillates to and fro for a few seconds to make the sound." "But how does that make the sound?" "Geez, you ask a bunch of questions! Okay... do you know how a cricket makes its chirp?" "Yes. he rubs his two back legs together." "I have the diaphragm do the same with by rubbing a piece of bone against a flat stone." "And that's it?" "Yep." "GEEZ! It had better work! That's quite a deal just to make Kiara come home!" "Trust me. If this doesn't work, you can push this red button. BUT ONLY IF the first button doesn't bring her home. And if THAT doesn't work, this whistle will do the same thing. But this is ONLY if the machine is broken, or the red button doesn't work. But I gurrantee you-- so long as Kiara wears this.... 'beeper', she will come home." "Thankyou, Rindimo. How can I repay you?" "Food." "Yes, I know that! But how much?" "Lots." "Rindimo!!" "Okay, okay... How about three wildebeests?" "Sure thing." "....Deliverred by.... NALA!" "Not on your life. I'll have Sarafina do it." "OOH! Even better!" Simba rolled his eyes as the cheetah happily scampered off to clean up his cave, and find something to roll in that smells nice. ******** Shortly thereafter, the king called for his daughter. "Kiara!" "Yes father?" "You can run around where ever you please now." "YAY!" "You can-- that is-- so long as you wear this little box around your neck." "What?" "It's for when I need you back here at home. Whenever it makes a sound, you come home, okay?" "Sure thing, Daddy!" Kiara happily ran off into the tall grass of the savannah, and decided to try and hone what little hunting skills she had. She finally refrained from making any sudden movement, or noise, and was about to spring for the kill.... SCREE_EE_EE_EECH! Heartbroken, she ran back to Pride Rock, to see what was the matter. "Just testing," Simba answered. Angrily, Kiara stormed back into the Pridelands. Luckily, the rest of the day had no more further instances. Her mood lightened quickly when she spotted Kovu running to greet her. "Kiara!" Kovu exclaimed, "I have something I want to ask you!" "OOh... What?" Kovu knelt down on his fore paws, and bowed his head. "Will you... Uh... I mean... Kiara, will you... You know..." Kovu took a deep breath. "Will you marry--" SCREEE_EE_EEE_EEECH! "Oh, sorry Kovu! Gotta go!" Kiara growled under her breath as she raced back to Pride Rock to see what was the matter. "I was just showing your mother how it works," Simba answerred sheepishly. "DAD! Kovu was just about to ask me the big question!!" "He was? WELL! It was a good thing I did it then! HRMPH! Oh well, go run along now..." Kiara was disgusted. She flopped to the ground as soon as she got a long ways off from Pride Rock, and looked at the evil box. Naturaly, it began screeching again. With a wry grin, she opened the box, and slashed the wiggling diaphragm to pieces. "Let's see what they can do now! Ha Ha! Now where's Kovu?" It wasn't ten minutes later that Kiara suddenly felt a painful shock coarse through her body. In pain, she yelped, and jumped high into the air. What she had not realized was that Simba pressed the red button. She continued to walk a little further, and yet again was shocked. She was getting real angry now. With her hatred, she tore open the box, and ripped out everything else that was in it. "Hrmph! Sorry daddy, but it seems your toy is broken!" ******** Simba was worried. The first button didn't work, and now the red one didn't either. He paced the floor of the cave trying to think of what to do now. The whistle! Of course!! Simba blew the whistle with all his might, but he heard nothing. He blew again even harder than before, and still nothing. "Quick! Zazu! Get Rindimo over here so I can kill him!!" ******** Kiara was happily bounding through the tall grass with a now-gutted box hanging about her neck. She was happily prancing about, as she headed for the waterhole hoping Kovu was there. She never heard the sound of a small vial breaking from inside the box, releasing some pheremones... Suddenly, from out of nowhere, Kovu pops out from behind the grass. "Kiara... I've been waiting for you..." "Kovu! Where've you been? I've looked practically everywhere!" Kovu licked his lips as he stared at Kiara and drooled. "Kovu, what's wrong with you?" Kiara heard some noise to her left, and quickly turned to see a male leopard with the same look on his face. Suddenly, to her right was a male cheetah. All of them began walking towards her... "Hey hotsy!" One of them said. "Oh CRUD!" Kiara ran as fast as she could for Pride Rock, as all the resident males of the Pridelands began to follow suit. Quickly, she rushed past her father and Rindimo, and stole away into the far corners of the cave. "SEE?" Rindimo told Simba, "Like I said! The whistle generates a sound that you can't hear! Then THAT breaks the glass vial with the pheremones! Only guys can smell it. And it worked! Hee hee!!" "Great! Now look what you did, you idiot! Now we have all Mate-crazy males storming Pride Rock after MY DAUGHTER!!!" "Sure, get technical. At least my machine worked." "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't rip you apart!" "Kiara came home." A larger growl didn't cause Rindimo to flinch one bit. With nonchalance, he replied to Simba's angst. "Okay, six wildebeest, then." "WHAT!!??" "You heard me! Six wildebeest, and I get rid of your problem! ...and Sarafina for that matter..." Simba looked at the horizon to see all sorts of felines heading in the direction of Pride Rock. "I hate you," Simba growled at Rindimo as he stormed into the cave. "You'll thank me later! Beep me if you need me!" Rindimo shouted, as he unpacked FRED the phonograph with a record labelled "The Best of Rafiki's Chants." The End. -Rindimo Cheetah (rindimo@bellsouth.net) +Founder, and only member of L.O.S.T.-- C.A.U.S.E (League Of Simplistic Technology-- Creating All Unforeseen Solutions Evident) +FCOS Lost & Found Clerk ICQ # : 12915153 +Amateur Artist/Writer/Musician AOL IM : Rindimo1 +Bachelor ? <=7 Webpage: http://www.lionking.org/~rindimo/index.shtml + Honorable Member of the Pride Keepers. "One thing nothing can destroy, is our pride deep inside we are one!" ********************************************************************* Well don't stop. Whatever you do, don't stop. Because as soon as you stop, you're forgotten. - Mageuzi *********************************************************************