Subject: (Off topic) Pie in the Sky Date: Thu, 05 Feb 1998 18:21:51 -0800 From: Rindimo Reply-To: TLK-L@lionking.org Organization: L.O.S.T.-- C.A.U.S.E To: tlk-l@lionking.org Pie in the Sky: The Conspiracy. It was a cold, windy night. The clouds had hid any of the moonlight that could've exposed the half-frozen refugee. But he was thankful for it. Let the cold penetrate me, let it do its will- so long as the shadows hide me from the light... for now. He silently crept under the fence to an old, run-down wharehouse- seeing an old, rundown cement truck nearby, brought terrible thoughts of what might happen... but he succeeded, there could be no possible threat.... or COULD THERE? Climbing through a window, he breathed a sigh of relief. now he had the shadows without the cold. he waited, and listened, to see if there was any threat awaiting him. It was time for his employer to make his appearance. The lights suddenly came on, startling him to the point of falling to the floor. "Ha ha ha! man, are you ever jumpy!" He never did like the encounters with this one. his schemes are terribly frightening, his entrances are even more nerve jarring. "So, friend, Were you successful?" The cheetah prodded. He looked up to see Rindimo standing in front of some old mirrors propped up against some crates. Seeing his own reflection was rather humorous: The glasses, the hair, the itchy clothes, the rubbery mask that was suffocating his pores on his face... He gave a toothily smile- he really was good at his disguising- even after all those years... "Well?" "Yep. I deed dee tings jyou axed for." "Yay!" The cheetah jumped up and down in joy. he just rolled his eyes at the scene. "Do you have the photos?" "yep. Here dey are. though, I don't know why jyou couldn't just watch dee news like everyone else..." "I don't have fingers! It's pretty tuff to do! Unlike you, my bipedal accomplice." He laid out the photos on the floor for the cheetah to take a gander at. he smiled at every one. "Wow! you smacked him good! You sure are good at positioning this remote hidden camera! I can see everything that's happenning!" "Yes, well, I try to do a good job..." Enough with the congradulations, he wanted his payment... "Ah, but the most importat thing! did he *eat* some of it? All he needed was just a little taste..." "Yes, he deed. As I recall he said it tasted not too good." "YAHOO!! well, It wasn't for his enjoyment! It was for his demise!" "em, pardon me, Rindimo, but can I have-" "Oh, you want to know my genius, right?" "What? no! I want-" A growling cheetah caused him to finish the sentence a different way. "-to know why I had to throw a pie at that man's face. Yes, that's it..." "Well, It's quite simple, really! In that pie, are some special endorphines, and other neurological, biological, and such chemicals that shall be the demise of microsoft! Now that our Mr. Bill Gates had eaten of it, His I.Q., and reasoning ability will drop lower than the asian stock market! Without his brains in working order, Microsoft will fall at the hands of lawyers, and stiff businessmen, who don't have any idea what product marketability is, and finally, the world will be safe again! MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!" The cheetah let his eyes return to focus, and wiped the drool off his muzzle that accumulated during his ranting. "Why can't everyone just live on a savannah, in peace, like me?" "Because the world's just not ready enough to let their eyes open my friend." "Well, at least I don't haf to wear dis silly shtuff anymore!" Rafiki pulled the rubber mask off his face, and took off the silly disguise. "I gotta admit, you do make up quite a good human!" "Bah! don't be silly!" "Where did you learn to do that, any way? And I thought you were arrested after you did the "shtuff"?" "Well it's- Hey! how'd jyou know dat?! I taut jyou couldn't turn on dee T.V.?!" "The T.V. i can't turn on, the radio, I can. I have many secrets you don't know about me, Rafiki." "well, den, so do I." "Hmph! fine!" "Em, can I have my payment, now?" "Oh, alright!" Rindimo walked behind a crate, and promptly returned with a bag, and rafiki's walking shtick. "here you go, and here's your shtick back, like i told you." After examining the goods, rafiki smiled, "Tanks." "Where!!! Where!!" "No, no! Tank you! Not "tanks" as in "boom-boom!"" The cheetah blushed. "sorry. You're very welcome, rafiki! I thought you might like the best, after stickin' out your neck for me. There's just room enough for one master of the universe!" "Um, yes. Well, good luck to jyou, Rindimo! As for me, I'd bedder get back to dee pride lands." "Why thanks! Let me know if you need any more of your shtuff!" "I will." Rafiki happily walked out of the warehouse, glad to leave the looney to his ravings. "Oi! Dee tings I do for dee Alba flower, sometimes!" The End..... OR IS IT? --  The Tiger is made to kill and hunt, The Lion too, but more towards fight. The Leopards and Jaguars were made to climb, And Cheetahs made for earthly flight. But there is one creature of forgotten lore: Shrouded in mystery, be that it's trade, Of other virtues, it has all four- Respect the Puma, and what God made. -Rindimo E-mail Address: Rindimo@bellsouth.net *If you can read this, then I am still an eligible bachelor!*  Founder (and only member) of: The L.O.S.T.- C.A.U.S.E. (League Of Simplistic Technology- Causing All Unforseen Solutions Evident) K.I.S.S.: Keep It Simple, Stupid. (Long neglected scientific principle)