Subject: Rafiki Karaoke Date: Fri, 20 Mar 1998 16:12:12 -0600 From: Rindimo Reply-To: TLK-L@lionking.org Organization: L.O.S.T.-- C.A.U.S.E To: tlk-l@lionking.org It was yet another tiring day for the lister. It was either work, family, school, or some demanding debate that took lots of energy to type. But nonetheless, the lister was tired, and decided to just relax, and sit in front of the TV. While flipping through the channels, the lister was surprised to see a cheetah grinning on the Annoyovision station. Curiousity got the best of the lister, and so, this infomercial was witnessed: "Hi-yah! My name is Rindimo, the Cheetah, and do I have the deal of the century for you! Today, I'm offerring an amazing savings on the latest Lion King merchandise for you viewers at home!" The lister laughs at Rindimo's impression of a sales man's voice, and curiously watches on... "Now you ask yourself, 'Well, I've got plushies, I've got the Laser Disk, I've got collectors items, who could ask for anything more?' Well, my friend, do I have something in store for you! Let's listen in on what some of the stars of the Lion King thought of what I'm offerring you in this exclusive deal..." Simba: What! you're doing /THAT/?! I've heard what he can do, and I'm telling you, you're sick! Sick, sick, sick!!! I woulndn't pay a load of @%$#% to have what you're offerring! Simba: Oh, did I say THat? What I meant was, I LOVE IT! "Well, wasn't that informitive? I bet you're asking yourself, 'enough with this crap! what the heck /ARE/ you offerrring?' Well, friend, here's what we came up with: Okay, in the movie, we've had Simba sing, nala sing, even Timon and Pumbaa sing, but what about the unknown talents of the other characters? Well, that is no longer! we here at Annoyovision hold exclusive rights to the talents of that master shaman himself, Rafiki!" Rafiki: Oy! dee tings I do for dee alba flower! "Yes, behind those yellow eyes was a talent, just waiting to be unleashed. And after a couple of gourd wine slams at the local bar, it did! Yes, my friends, we have Rafiki singing Karaoke! On video, and Cd, with Mufasa supplying the base, and Sarafina Humming to the tunes as support singer! By buying our stuff, you can listen to countless oldies redone by these masters under the influence, such as: "Shtop! ...Your Uncle, in dee na-a-a-ame of Loav! Before I beat your head..." "Crimson in Alba! Ovah, and Ovah, Crimson in Albaaaaaa!" "Don cry for me, Sarafinaa!! Dee truth is, I am a Mandrill!" "Dum dum dee dumm dumm dumm dumm.... Tequila!!" "And we need Simba... 'Cause Dees desert needs suhm rain!" "Hey, hey! me a munkeee! Peeple say I munkee around!" "Eet was a menny horned, menny eyed, running wildebeeste stampeed! a mennny horned, mennny eyed, running...." ...And many, many more! But what about the video? well, take a look-see for your self! I came down to dee jungle, Near a desert's shoreline. I didn't have much time. Scar and his hyenas Were ruining dee best place around But some shtupid wit a red mane Was just sitting, and moping on dee ground. Simba, on dee waaater, Mufasa, in dee sky! Simba's reflection on dee water... He burned on down from dee heavens He roared with an awful sound A funky cloud was running een and out His kid was trembling on dee ground When eet was all over I smacked him right een the face I told him time was running out and eet seemed like we would lose dee race Simba in dee waaater, Mufasa in dee sky Seemba's reflection in dee water.. We ended up at dee Grand Pride Rock EEt was empty, cold and bare. But wit dee rolling hyena laughter ting out there Masking our entry there. Wit a few red flames and a few good cuffs we won dee fight, no bet! I know we'll never forget! Seembaa on dee waater Mufasa in dee sky! Seemba's reflection on dee water... And there ytou have it! for only 19.99, you get the CD, and this awesome vhs cassette tape with Rafiki Singing at his best. so what's stopping you? This /IS/ lion King related, so you're going to have to buy it anyway. order yours today!" ...And the lister jumped for the phone. --  The Tiger is made to kill and hunt, The Lion too, but more towards fight. The Leopards and Jaguars were made to climb, And Cheetahs made for earthly flight. But there is one creature of forgotten lore: Shrouded in mystery, be that it's trade, Of other virtues, it has all four- Respect the Puma, and what God made. -Rindimo E-mail Address: Rindimo@bellsouth.net *If you can read this, then I am still an eligible bachelor!*  Founder (and only member) of: The L.O.S.T.- C.A.U.S.E. (League Of Simplistic Technology- Causing All Unforseen Solutions Evident) K.I.S.S.: Keep It Simple, Stupid. (Long neglected scientific principle)