Subject: You Didn't See Anything. Date: Sun, 26 Apr 1998 21:53:46 -0500 From: Rindimo Reply-To: TLK-L@lionking.org Organization: L.O.S.T.-- C.A.U.S.E To: tlk-l@lionking.org Here's a little cheesy thingy I just though of! Enjoy! You Didn't See Anything. By: Rindimo-- Who else? Cut to a soybean field after dark. An old farmer is sitting in his rocking chair, on the porch of his little farm house. He is intently examining a bottle of Olean while eating some of the potato chips _*/HIS/*_ soybeans help make. Suddenly, from the sky comes a circular-shaped object. To the farmer's astonishment, it hovers effortlessly, and silently over his soybean field. As the old man peers on, he begins to hear a hum reach his aged ears. A dim light slowly begins to increase in intensity over the field, slowly doing something to the beans out there. "Ethel!" The old man quickly turns to the screen door of his house, and pulls out a twelve gage. "Ethel! Quick! Call the police! We got aliens eatin' our soybeans! And just when we finally found somethin' *good* to do with 'em, too!" ****** It is now early morning, and there are police and reporters everywhere. No one hardly notices an officially designated hummer, with a bunch of army insignias pull up. Out steps two lions. A male, and a female. They quickly walk towards the farmer who was being interviewed with the police. "Excuse me, sir, we are from S.K.Y.- P.I.E.; Secret Kinetic testingYard of Pridelands Intelligence Experts. We'd like you to know this was all a hoax." "No! I know what I saw floatin' in that sky! It was one of them UFO's!" "Sorry to burst your bubble, but it was a bunch of milkseed floss. The stuff can be misinterpretted as anything. Agent S., would you care to demonstrate?" The male lion nods. He walks over to a good sized patch of the stuff, flops down, and instantly a puff floats into the air. Suddenly, letters appeared out of nowhere. "SEX! I see sex written all over it!" one police office says. "No no! It says SFX!" shouts a newsreporter. "No wait! I'm wrong. SEX would sell better. It says "SEX"." "I think it says "SAY"." Chimes in an older lady. As the bickering between more and more people ensued, the two lions pulled the old farmer aside. "You see?" "But what about the shape in my crops?" "Oh, that. I think Agent N. can explain it better than me." "Yes. There was an outbreak of mad cow disease a couple miles from here. A few cows are on the loose, and they tend to walk in interesting paterns. Such as what you see in your field." "I jest don't know..." "Sir? There seems to be something wrong with one of your eyes. Here, look at my pen, and follow it." A red flash quickly ensues, and the two lions dressed in black walk off towards their car. "We really gotta get ahold of Rafiki's paka-pooka flower stash. It's getting way outta hand." "Yeah, you'd figure the least he could do was not take any when he's flying that darned contraption. I don't see why we even have him working on this stupid project-- I don't even know why we have this stupid project in the first place." "Simba! He has back problems. He needs the pain reliever. And besides, one day, this technology Scar started for his evil world-domination plan will benefit all humanity! As soon as that darn baboon gets around to finishing the deciphering of the rest of the secret documents..." "See! even you hate his antics!" As the two drive off, we slowly see an ever hightenning view of this secluded soybean field. the higher we get, the better we can see the shape of a crude lion cub drawing one would normally see on the side of a boabab tree.... The End.... Or is it? OOOOHHH.... SPooKY! -Rindimo --  The Tiger is made to kill and hunt, The Lion too, but more towards fight. The Leopards and Jaguars were made to climb, And Cheetahs made for earthly flight. But there is one creature of forgotten lore: Shrouded in mystery, be that it's trade, Of other virtues, it has all four- Respect the Puma, and what God made. -Rindimo E-mail Address: Rindimo@bellsouth.net *If you can read this, then I am still an eligible bachelor!*  Founder (and only member) of: The L.O.S.T.- C.A.U.S.E. (League Of Simplistic Technology- Causing All Unforseen Solutions Evident) K.I.S.S.: Keep It Simple, Stupid. (Long neglected scientific principle)