Keywords: Highlander Subject: Hornlander (was:Re: ZAZU is immortal or what?) Date: Tue, 26 May 1998 04:42:40 -0500 From: Rindimo Reply-To: TLK-L@lionking.org Organization: L.O.S.T.-- C.A.U.S.E. To: TLK-L@lionking.org Oscar Almaraz wrote: > I want to know, what is the Horn bill life time. Don't quite know... > does Zazu also appears in Simba's Pride, how old is he, i think Dinsey > didn't think about this. Plotholes! They're every where! > how many generations Zazul lived? Hundreds! **** For centuries, there have been rumors of a race of people that could live forever... They are not ruled by any of our rules... they follow an ancient game where only one shall succeed. Perhaps, that one is Zazu McCloud-- the Hornlander! **** SImba: But dad, what about the antelope? Mufasa: No, son, the African antelope can only reach a terminal velocity of forty-five miles per hour. It is the American Antelope that's faster-- by ten! Simba: Are you saying coconuts migrate? Mufasa: Not at all! I'm saying that perhaps an american antelope could've crossed an ancient landbridge during an El Nin~o... and mistakenly took the African antelope for its own kind... all the while gripping a coconut by its husk from a californian palm tree while running at top-notch speed for 52 days... Zazu: Good morning, sire. Mufasa: Good morning, Zazu. Zazu: checking in, with the morning report. Mufasa: Fire away! Zazu: well, for starters... I suddenly have this horrible headache... Suddenly from out of nowhere, a buzzard comes down, and swoops towards Simba. He succeeds in giving the poor cub a cut on the shoulder with his beak. "Simba!" Mufasa screams... running towards his son. "End of oppression through death!!!" shouts the buzzard, as he prepares for another swoop down. It all becomes too clear to Zazu. He suddenly experiences a flashback to the time when Ahadi was a little cub. Ahadi's father did not deal too kindly with buzzards... the memory of one screaming for revenge clarifyed intensely in Zazu's mind. He thought He'd seen the last of him ages ago... but no... they always seem to come back to haunt you... He had no choice. It must end before it's too late for the young prince. Zazu quickly ran his bill up and down the stone, before flying off towards the direction of the turmoil! "Leave the cub alone!" "This is between me, and the mortals, Zazu. Let me be!" "No! You'll have to kill me before you harm the prince in any way!" The buzzard grinned. "So be it!" Mufasa and Simba watch as the two land, spread their wings defensively... and proceed to circle eachother... The buzzard slashes first with his beak, but Zazu quickly dodges. Zazu counter attacks, and slahes the buzzard's right wing with his beak. "Pretty good for such a small bid weilding such a large beak!" Cackles the buzzard. The fight ensues. Simba and Mufasa stare on as the blood bath continues. Feathers fly everywhere! Finally, the buzzard falls to the groung... obviously extremely tired. Zazu approaches him... "Go ahead, do it." Pants the defeated foe. Zazu nods. "There can be only one!" He shouts before performing the final slash with his large beak. Instantly after the head is severred, Mufasa and Simba continue to stare in amazement as lightning encircles Zazu's body. when it's all over... Zazu hops back to his little rock. Zazu: Now, where were we? Mufasa: The buzz from the bees... Welp, I hoped everyone enjoyed the Highlander spoof. I rarely get to watch it... so forgive the errors in my writing. I just couldn't pass this one up-- even if it is 4:41 a.m. in the morning. :) The only one, -Rindimo --  The Tiger is made to kill and hunt, The Lion too, but more towards fight. The Leopards and Jaguars were made to climb, And Cheetahs made for earthly flight. But there is one creature of forgotten lore: Shrouded in mystery, be that it's trade, Of other virtues, it has all four- Respect the Puma, and what God made. -Rindimo E-mail Address: Rindimo@bellsouth.net *If you can read this, then I am still an eligible bachelor!*  Founder (and only member) of: The L.O.S.T.- C.A.U.S.E. (League Of Simplistic Technology- Causing All Unforseen Solutions Evident) K.I.S.S.: Keep It Simple, Stupid. (Long neglected scientific principle)