QUEUE CAMERA: Silhouette of figure in chair, back-lit in red.

QUEUE MUSIC: Rondeau by J.J. Mouret in F# Minor.

VOICE OVER: On tonight's edition of MasterPlonq Theater, we are preempting
part thirteen of Sir Willard Bratwurst's twenty-two part saga entitled,
"Mein Trout - Cockney Rap in Dactyllic Pentameter", in order to bring you
the following command performance.

QUEUE LIGHTS: Slow fade-in of dual spotlights, focusing on a dumpy snow
leopard who is slouched comfortably in an easy chair.  He is dressed in a
rumpled suit, and the thick fur on his head is slicked back with copious
amounts of hair creme.  To his left, a Meerschaum pipe rests in a pristine
ashtray, and to his right is a large decanter of amber liquid -- presumably
scotch -- and an assortment of snacks.  A television remote control perches
precariously on his paunch.

"Good evening," he mewls, in a warbly contralto.  "I am Plonq, and I shall
be your host for this episode of MasterPlonq theater.  Tonight I will be
sharing my thoughts and feelings about Disney's latest video release.
Entitled _Simba's Pride_, this is a touching story about a young lioness
coming of age who, with the aid of her rogue paramour, fails to prevent the
onset of war between two lion clans, and kills her future mother-in-law."

The feline pauses for a sip of scotch, before he continues.

"In this sequel, we see another side of Simba, which was hinted at in the
first movie of this series.  This is the Simba who once asked his uncle to,
"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't rip you apart."  This a stern
Simba, who longs to be the lion that he remembered his father to be.  He is
an overprotective parent who is terrified lest his beloved daughter should
experience the same heartache and trauma that haunts his own childhood
memories."

Plonq clasps his hands together over his chest and wriggles his stubby uncia
fingers.

"Nala returns for a second show, as slinky as ever -- and perhaps a smidgen
more sultry.  She has a very short, but welcome role in the movie.  Her
eyes, whose colour was the subject of much debate in the first movie, are
decidedly blue in this outing.  Does Nala wear contacts?  Purrhaps.
Conspicuous in their absence are Sarabi, and the Queen Mum -- Sarafina."

"Like its predecessor, this movie has an underlying theme.  In the original
movie, the message was that all things are interconnected.  The sequel
delivers a very similar underlying point: we are one."  He clamps the pipe
in his teeth, and strikes it up with a match.  With a contented puff of
acrid smoke, he continues.  "The message is subject to interpretation, but
it is my take that it is comparable to a similar axiom: united we stand,
divided we fall.  Indeed, this theme is emphasized later in the movie when
Kiara and Kovu -- a wonderfully alliterative couple -- convince the clans of
Simba and the late Zira that they should unite.

"On first viewing, I did not find the Upendi sequence very effective, but on
further rumination, I think it is very similar to, and no worse than the
IJCWtbK scene in the first movie.  Though Rafiki's singing was not the high
point of the movie for me, I was not disturbed by the apparent
demystification of the shaman.  I think we were just shown the Rafiki we
would have seen if he had been given a couple more scenes in the first
movie."

Plonq pauses again, and reaches into his pile of snacks to retrieve a
saltine cracker and a trout.  He makes an aborted move to put the large,
limp fish on the tiny cracker.  Blinking, he eyes the two snacks for a
moment, then shrugs and pops the cracker into his mouth, crunching
contentedly.  With a vague wave of the fish, he spits a few crumbs as he
purrs,

"Zira is an effective villain and, unlike Scar in the first movie, her
motives are clear, and even worthy of some empathy.  Though she lacks his
coldness, she makes up for it with her single-minded insanity.  Her neglect
for her elder son, Nuka, leads to his ultimate death as he desperately seeks
to earn his mother's approval.  One of my complaints from this movie is that
I wish the outsiders had been given more footage, and development --
especially Vitani."  The cat gives a forlorn sigh.  "Now THERE's a gal who
really tips this feline's Yiff-O-Meter.  I find her the most fascinating,
and sadly, most underdeveloped characters in the movie."

"Although I thought that Kiara and Kovu had too easy a task ending the
conflict, given the time restraints of the medium, I felt that the writers
and animators did a passable job.  In the end, I think both sides in the
conflict were smart enough to see the futility of their struggle.  There
seemed to be roughly equal strength in both camps, and if either side won,
it would have been a Pyrrhic victory at best.  Eventually it was Zira's
insane obsessiveness, moreso than the words of Kovu or Kiara that drove the
outsiders to defect to the King's side."

Plonq sits forward on his chair.  He brushes cracker crumbs off his chest,
and points the stem of his pipe earnestly at the viewers.

"In a curious twist, the movie's creators opted to turn Zira's suicide into
a murder.  It was as a direct result of Kiara's attack that Zira plunged to
her presumed death in the raging torrent of water."  The feline takes a
thoughtful draw on his pipe, and mewls, "Like father, like daughter, eh?"

"Of course, I've been saving the best for the last.  My favourite part of
the movie was when Simba banished Kovu.  The segment clearly illustrated the
chilling power that the king of the Pride Lands possessed -- it is no wonder
that Scar lusted after the throne during his time.  The show of
unquestioning support from the minions of the Pride Lands in response to a
word from the king showed that he bore the title as more than just a
figurehead."

QUEUE LIGHTS: Slow fade-out of spotlights, as the snow leopard gesticulates
wildly.

"Nooooo!  Wait!  I'm not done yet!"

QUEUE MUSIC: Rondeau by J.J. Mouret in F# Major.

QUEUE CREDITS: Written by Plonq

* Snowcat