PLEASE DON'T DELETE THIS MESSAGE!!!!!!  I know what you are probably
thinking right now:

"Oh no -- it's another one of those Get-Rich-Quick schemes like the one that
cost me my life savings two years ago!"

Well you could NOT be further from the truth, friend.  All those other "get
rich" schemes are spread by pimply-faced teenagers, using their parents'
computers in a dank trailer park somewhere in the tornado belt.  THIS one is
sponsored by a large, well-organized religious institution with NO PROVEN
ties to the MAFIA.

We employ our tried, proven, and recently patented Secure Cash & Asset
Management program to ensure MAXIMUM return on MINIMAL investments.  OTHER
religions and investment houses may claim that they can guarantee you the
largest return, but ONLY the FCOS is running our patented SCAM.

Just sit back for a moment, friend, and try to imagine what you could do
with UNTOLD RICHES in your life! Think about that dream vacation you have
always wanted, or that car which was always JUST out of your financial
reach. How many of you have been LIVING BEYOND your FINANCIAL MEANS, and
dread every phone call because it might be another creditor, or the sheriff
coming to repossess everything you have, but SOMEBODY ELSE owns? Well now
ALL of your banal materialistic yearnings can be WITHIN YOUR FINANCIAL
SCOPE.

Does our SCAM really work?  Just consider:

A lady in Rhode Island bought into our SCAM, and took out a large insurance
policy on her husband at the same time.  Later that month, her husband died
in a horrible, messy industrial accident involving some really icky
chemicals, and she received GREAT SCADS OF MONEY from the insurance
company!!!

A man in San Francisco ignored our advertisement and simply deleted it from
his mailbox. Two days later, he found his cat nailed to the tree, and two
LARGE gentlemen with manes -- who claimed to be from the FCOS finance
department -- aerated his kneecaps with a Black & Decker drill!!!

Coincidence?  You decide!

"Okay, I'm convinced.  So how do I buy into this wonderful SCAM?"

Nothing could be EASIER!  Simply fill out an international cheque, or money
order for $5 USD and make it payable to:

The Grand Pumbaa
c/o First Church of Simba
Winnipeg, Manitoba
Canada    S1M8A9

And that's all there is to it.  You will be advised of other requirements as
they arise.

"Whoa!  It's THAT easy?  I can't believe I've waited so long to send money
into the First Church!  But wait, what's in it for me?  When do the
royalties start rolling in?"

Patience, friend.  Have faith in the providence of The Simba, and soon
untold riches will be coming your way.

"Can you list off some figures?"

Nay, for if we did, then the riches would no longer be UNTOLD.  The Grand
Pumbaa is your friend -- hey, he has never let you down before, has he? [1]

Now go out there and WRITE THOSE CHEQUES.  Stuff those envelopes and MAIL
THOSE CHEQUES.


Yours Sincerely,

G.I. Luvmoney

Sacred Treasurer,
Department of Temple Finances,
First Church of Simba
Winnipeg

[1] that real estate venture fiasco notwithstanding.