Hello list,

Well, after being cut from my internet connection for 3 months, I'm finally
back...only to be gone again on a trip.
But just before that, I want to post a parody that's been lying around my
HD for a long time. It's a follow-up to a parody written by Msondo and
Mageuzi back in January.

So, without further ado:

Love Talk Live 2

by Takeshi and Logozo
 
<a station identification plays> "94.5  KTLK.. serving the Pride.. from the
Jungle, to the Savanah."
 
<CYFTLT begins to play for a while, then fades away to another voice>
 
Logozo: Welcome again to another edition of Love Talk Live, the show where
we share all your love tales and dramas. This is Logozo here, with my
sidekick Takeshi.
 
Takeshi: Ndoto and Msondo were jammed in the wilderbeest trafic, so we're
filling in their places until they get here.

Log: Don't worry though, we are experts on love.

Tak: Speaking of which...hey, we never hear about *your* love life Logozo.
So tell me, are there any special turtles in your life?

Log: Um...

Tak: Do you remove your shell during, you know..

Log: Err...

Tak: Also, tell our audience.. are turtles slow at *everything*? <giggle>

Log: <nervously> TAK!!!

Tak: What?  Inquiring minds want to know? <chuckle>

Log: Uh.. yeah Takeshi, why don't we just take some callers?
 
Logozo: The number is 787-KTLK, so call us with your stories of...wait, we
have a caller. <click> Hi, you're on Love Talk Live.
 
Caller: Hi, I've already called before. I was the one...um...having an
affair with a human.
 
Tak: Oh, welcome back N...
 
Logozo: <kicking Tak's heel> Well hello again fellow love bird. How is
everything?
 
Caller: Well, now another human has came around  and we've been having a
great time together but I'm afraid that my mate will discover him soon and
I wonder if there is a delicate way to explain this to him.
 
Tak: <grumbling> How about just sticking to the royal marriage you slOWW!
 
Logozo: <putting down the large ashtray> Um, perhaps you could...
 
<in the caller's background> Oh Nala, take me NOW!
 
Caller: <to the human> I'm coming my hunk! <to radio> Well, gotta go
<click>
 
Tak: Aw, isn't it just sweet to see royalty so happy...
 
Logozo: Now cut it Tak, you can see that she feels terribly guilty.
 
Tak: Guilty my ***, she's obviously calling just to relieve her conscious a
bit and...
 
Logozo: Tak! <PAF!> Stop that. Anyways let's go to our next caller.
 
Caller: Helloooo?
 
Logozo: Hi and welcome to Love Talk Live. So what would like to tell us?
 
Caller: Well, um, I don't know how to say this. Okay, I guess...well, I
have this fantasy that whenever I make love, it has to be in thick mud...
 
Logozo: That is nothing to worry about. You would be surprised at the
number of animals who get thoughts about doing it in the...
 
Caller: ...and I have to have a coconut in my mouth...
 
Logozo: Well you would be surprised at the number of animals who...
 
Caller: ...and my mate has to dance the samba.
 
Tak: Um, you would be a surprising sight to watch.
 
Logozo: Errrr, wee'll right be right back after a word from our sponsors.
 
<commercial #1>
 
<music from Under the Stars starts playing>
<sensual lioness voice> Do you feel lonely?
<nerdy loser voice> Yeah.
<sensual lioness voice> Looking for some hot times?
<nerdy loser voice> <sighing> Yeeeah.
<music suddently changes to a more upbeat rhythm>
<sensual lioness voice>  Then call me for exciting converation and love at
1-800-NALA-LUV. Lots of babes in heat just ooing for your attention. The
Nala Love line. When you just can't wait for the next season. Call now...
<fast disclaimer voice> $3.95 per minute. Must be 3 lion years old or
equivalent to call.
 
</commercial #1>
 
Logozo: Welcome back to Love Talk Live. We have a caller on.
 
Caller: Hello? Is this the Nala hotline?
 
Logozo: Err, actually it's ...
 
Tak: <cutting in, with fake but passable female sensual voice> Hi. Welcome
to the Tana Love line. Please state the name of your account.
 
Caller: It's Lion King.
 
Logozo: What??? Could it be...
 
Tak: <holding the receiver> Shhhh! <biting himself not to laugh>
Identification code accepted. <pause> Press 1 now for  lionesses.
 
<long pause>
 
Tak: <holding the receiver> Oh boy... <back to female voice> Press 2 now
for leopardesses.
 
<long pause>
 
Tak: Press 3 for tigresses.
 
<beep!>
 
Tak: Oou, we have a wild king, don't we?
 
Logozo: Come on now, I think we've gone far enough.
 
Tak: <ignoring Loggy> Hello handsome, are you sure you're lion enough to
handle me?
 
"Lion King": Oh, I'm more than ready my wild cat.
 
Tak: Then give it to me now!
 
"Lion King": I'm roaring with pleasure...<roars> how's that?
 
Tak: Mmm, give it to me, ooooh.....
 
Logozo: Enough already! <hanging up call> Next call...
 
Tak: Hmpf, party pooper <OUCH!>
 
Logozo: (putting down CD case) Hello, welcome to...
 
Caller: Is this Zazu?
 
Logozo: Um, no. This is the Love Talk Live show. You must have dialed a
wrong number.
 
Caller: Well I'm like trying to, like, reach Zazu because he like, promised
to like "fly" with me if you know what I mean at sunset and it's like
almost midnight and I'm, like, getting really worried because...
 
Tak: <mumbling> Oh great, now the dodo is on an affair. Is royalty in heat
or something...
 
Logozo: <bopping Tak> Um, I'm sure that our land's majordomo had some
important issues to attend to and that he will join you any second now.
 
Caller: All right, I'll like, wait some more.
 
Tak: Next!
 
Logozo: Hello, you're on Love Talk Live show.
 
Caller: Yeah this is Bertha. Is Zazu messing around with that air-head
Binki again?
 
Logozo: Um, I...
 
Bertha: Whyyyy that son of a <bleep!>. As soon as he gets his <bleep!>
<beep!> back here, I'm gonna to give him a <bleep!> beating for screwing
toothb<bleep!> with every butt he <bleep!> can, for <bleep!> sake.
 
Tak: Yeah, we hope your dodo gets a good one. He...
 
Bertha: And he's a hornbill sonny! Now I should...
 
Tak:...yeah yeah we know he's a hornybill. <click> Time for some
commercial...
 
<commercial #2>
 
<excerpt from "Hakuna Matata">
Pumbaa: And I feel downhearted every time that I...
Timon: Pumbaa! Not in fro
nt of the kids!
Pumbaa: Oh, sowwy.
 
<Scar radio voice> Do you find yourself in the same smelly situation?
<Scar radio voice, continuing> Just can't hang on to your loved ones
because they don't love your aroma?
Pumbaa: <downheartedly> Yup.
<Scar radio voice, continuing> Then you need Scar's Cologne! Guaranteed to
attract the love of your life or your money back! Order your bottles at
http://webrum.uni-mannheim.de/bwl/kranich/scar/images/scar01.jpg.
<Announcer type voice> Scar's Cologne. Smell so good you would kill for it.
<fast disclaimer voice> Warning to prey animals: you might get more than
you bargained for...
 
</commercial #2>
 
Logozo: All right, back to the show. Hello, welcome to Love Talk Live.
 
Caller: Hi, am I on?
 
Logozo: Yes you're on. Go ahead.
 
Caller: Well, I've just made passionate love with the most beautiful, not
to mention sensual, lioness in these corners of the savannah.
 
Tak: Everything seems normal for a change.
 
Caller: Which is great, but, um, how shall I say this...we aren't exactly
made for each other, in a literal sense. I'm afraid that her mate might one
day find out why she hasn't been too demanding to him lately and...
 
<in caller's background> <very angry male voice> NALA!? What's the meaning
of THIS?
 
<in caller's backgound> <female voice> Oh Simba, please don't be mad, I can
explain. We were just...
 
Logozo: What's going on?
 
Caller: Err <loud roar is heard> I gotta go for now, it's time for my
jogging <louder roar heard> a really FAST jogging...toodles! <*click*>
 
Tak: The King will have liver with a good Chianti and some fava beans
tonight, it seems...
 
Logozo : Taaaaak... <bop!>
 
Tak: Uh well, hey look at the time! It's time to conclude this week's
episode of...
 
Logozo: Love Talk Live. The show you gotta tune in to tune out. We'll hear
you again next week, same time, same place, and...
 
Ndoto: There they are officier! It was those two who kidnapped us and tied
us to a tree in the jungle.
 
Msondo: After them!
 
Tak: Whoops, we gotta go! Bye everyone!
 
<Logozo takes out a SPAM bomb, lobs it and climbs onto Tak's back who
sprints away>


Special Thanks:
Msondo
Mageuzi
Pascal Krannich