NASHVILLE TENNESSEAN - November 27, 1997

NASHVILLE WOMAN SEXUALLY ASSAULTED BY A LION

A woman jogging in the Glengarry Subdivision of Nashville was sexually
assaulted by a lion in the early morning hours of Wednesday.  The owner of
the lion, John Burkitt of 747-A Greymont Drive, claimed that the attack
was provoked.  According to Burkitt, he was out letting his lion Ugas mark
the borders of his yard when he claims the woman saw Ugas and said, "Oh,
isn't he cute!" then proceeded to make "Goo goo eyes" at him.  Burkitt said
that sort of behavior was uncalled for and shocking, and was "not in the
least surprised" when Ugas mounted her.  After about three hours, Burkitt
says, "I became worried about Ugas' welfare and called the family vet for
assistance."  Veterinarian Mark Stebbins reported the incident to police,
however charges against the woman were dropped.


+-----------------------------------------------------------------+
I  John H. Burkitt:  (john.burkitt@nashville.com)  (ICQ 1309477)  I
I FCoS,  Elsa's Pride,  Born Free Foundation (We Love You, Elsa!) I
I     http://localsonly.wilmington.net/~damorris/Tgkhome.htm      I
+-----------------------------------------------------------------+

----Bureau of the Mayor of Nashville----

Subject: Latest assaults on citizens by your lion
Nashville, TN, 11/28/1997

Dear Mr. Burkitt,

the government of this city is being forced to approach you again
because of your pet's latest actions. In June 1996 we were agreeing to
pay the costs of the damage that was caused by your hormonally misled
Panthera Leo. The reason for our 'acceptance' of this agreement was our
intention to prove our openmindedness towards exotic and endangered
species.

In the last three months about two dozen of our lion's approaches have
cut down our budget drastically, the bills for soiled clothes of your
citizens, to name just one example for it. Your pet's unability to
control it's body fluids as there are saliva, urine and fluids necessary
for biological reproduction has become an un bearable situation for this
city since even older citizens are starting to complain about worn-out
batteries of their pacemakers. Old people are simply no appropriate
objects for pounce-tackle-mount training.

Because of the recent bad publicity in the newspapers and local TV and
radio stations the First Church of Simba, represented by the enlightened
Mr. David Braun, is threatening to stop all financial support for our
beloved hometown, especially the Mayor is deeply affected by this since
his last election campaign 

Summing up all these facts leads us to revoke your permission to keep
the lion. We are willing to cooperate with you to find a satisfying
solution for everybody affected by this situation. The directors of the
local zoo of Nome, Alaska, Mr. Balto van Wolf sr. and Mr. Luk McBear sr.
are willing to give Ugas a new home since their old lion Mano's
potential abilitites are scaringly decreasing due to his age. Alaskan
climate is in our honest opinion the right place to cool Ugas' urges
down.

If you are planning to send him back to Africa then we're sorry but
you'll have to pay the costs yourself.

Sincerely,

Mirco Zacher, Assistant to the Mayor.
For more questions please call: 1-615-KUBLIA
------------------------------------------------------------------
Mirco Zacher   mailto:uzuri@lionking.org
               mailto:kublia@hannover.sgh-net.de
Member of: TGK * FCOS-Cleaner of Nala's Claws     
      ---- Shingi and Elsa will never be forgotten ----
IRC Kublia/Kiza/Uzuri     SN/TLKMuck:Kiza  TygryssMuck: Uzuri
VERY first Shingalanaholic--Certified Nala/Sarafinaholic
http://www.lionking.org/~uzuri
Visit The Gentle Kingdom!
http://localsonly.wilmington.net/~damorris/Tgkhome.htm
-----------------------------------------------------------------