i am riven 
by the gorge of my guilt 
from the land of my birth
destined to live out my days
in the company of a smelly pig
and a meerkat with a mouth
that won't stop
and I swear by the kings
that if my contrition
does not bear fruit
before this year
is done
i will eat one
and use the other
as a toothpick 
before they drive me insane