Well, I finally realized I needed to do it. I'm leaving-- pretty much how I came: with a story. That'll.. um.. explain it all. If you have any comments, please e-mail me privately or I won't get them. Keep in mind I wrote this back in June.. so.. I hope you'll continue to visit my web page if you do so already for I'll release parodies now and then (especially the KiB) and release other things, not to mention periodic fan map updates. I'll keep in touch via the newsgroup sometimes, too. Take care all. - Mageuzi timon@net1plus.com http://welcome.to/my_burrow It was a warm, hot, sticky day. The kind of day that you realize you have fur because of all the itching as sweat and panting makes you wish you could take your fur off. It was a long, tiring day. School was getting rough, especially now, after nearly completing my junior year in high school. Sure, I have no idea how college will be yet, but this is pretty tough, taking up most of my time, luckily a *tiny* but less stressful now that the year end is approaching. Luckily, there's an escape to all this. It's known simply as the Lion King Cafe, a place where fans of the movie named in the Cafe's title gather around and discuss the movie and its characters over a drink and some entertainment now and then by the various artists, writers and comedians. I, myself, are among the writers, though I don't consider myself a good one, I am always surprised by those who "love my work". But I digress. The Cafe also has several rooms off of it, leading to various empty and full rooms, one for the Hakuna Matata Squad, one for the Dutch Pride, one for select meetings of the FCoSimba, one for the FCoSarafina and one for the Nalaholics. But I won't get into the details of what goes on in *that* room during their meetings. I don't know anyway. It's a great place to be, always full of great conversation and relaxation. I stand outside the sign in front, the African sunset from the beginning of the movie carefully drawn artistically on a wooden sign, "Lion King Cafe" carefully written using the familiar Lion King logo, painted over the top. I walk over and admire the sign like I normally do for a few seconds, then yawn as I slowly meander in, perhaps my hundreth, perhaps my thousanth time, carefully opening the door and walking in, going unnoticed as a small kat as I use the meerkat stairs at one end of the low bar counter to climb on top and hopefully get noticed by Brian. After sitting down and waiting a couple minutes (and getting a few lions upset by sitting right in front of them), I get noticed and start my normal conversation. "Your best Grub Wine please," I say as if I've said it for the last year. Actually, I have. "How old are you now, Mageuzi?" Brian responds tiredly. He has also said this for the last year. "Um.. 3?" Is my normal response, a slight glimmer (not teedamur) of hope in my voice. "Nice try, Mageuzi, how about the usual?" I grin, "Fine. I'll get you one day, Brian, you'll see!" He grins too, "Sure, one day. When you're three!" And he walks off to get my Grub Juice. So I slowly turn around and look upon the Cafe to see where I should sit, once I get my drink. All the tables are full, it appears, though it is usually hard to see the tiny kat tables at the back behind all the larger-in-comparison tables for the cats, though they're also pretty low. No stools are used. Brian comes back and sets the juice next to me quietly. "Thanks, Brian." He nods in reply and goes off to do what other stuff he does. It's hard to know exactly how he feels at times. He just sort of acts like the lubrication that keeps things running, and you're happy it's there, but you don't notice how much he's needed until he's gone. Nevermind Mother's Day or Father's day.. there should be a Moderator's Day. Anyway, on that thought, I slowly walk down the stairs again with my drink and head to the back of the Cafe, overhearing certain conversations as I pass the tables, mostly off-topic, though. In this Cafe, that means talk not related to The Lion King. Eventually I make it to the back, where the meerkat tables are, and the only stools in the whole bar. I pass the tables and see the normal grinning, laughing, and smiling faces until I come to the face that beats them all: Jessie. I walk faster and I smile as she gets up with a smile and I set down my juice at her table as I give her a hug and greet each other happily, as we do everyday. Both grinning happily, we sit back down and start our own, usually off-topic conversation. "Great to see you, Jess! How are you?" "I'm okie, how're you?" I chuckle as I say the same thing I usually say, "The same. Tired, aswell. It gets so tough at school these days." She nods and rolls her eyes, "I swear I hate Algebra more and more every day." "Still bad, huh? Do you need any help?" "No, no, I'm okay. I'm just saying, I hate everything about that class except Ashley." I nod. Ashley is Jessie's friend, a Pumbaaholic. Anyway, Jess begins to say something before ScarJT and Kublia suddenly stand up and start talking in loud, but luckily sane, voices on something about a tLK3 and whether the List wants to talk about it. We both sort of blink as they argue, and then look back to each other. "Aaaanyway, as I was about to say.. how was your day?" I chuckle again, "Aw, not too bad. Glad to be here, though." I peer to the almost-arguing cats, "I think.." "Do you wanna head to the Squad's room, then?" "Yeah, why not?" I respond with a nod and a tired smile. So we both get up and head towards the room. Just before we head in, I hear, "You know, I really didn't want to see that. And because I did, now I have to see my lunch once again," over my shoulder. I shake my head with a sigh and walk in and shut the door. I walk into friends who all look over and smile, ".. and hello to you too, Uzi!" This is what I like. This is how I remember the Lion King Cafe before it got so big. It's amazing how a place like that Cafe can change so much in one year. As I look around the Squad's room, I notice how things have changed here too. I guess it must be some sort of instinct that makes furs break from large groups. Instead of discussing altogether, I see Msondo with Kimya off in a corner, Busara and ScarJT, who must have snuck in before we came in, Jessie and I.. Anneke and Ndoto nowhere to be seen at the moment. Reluctantly I meander in, over towards Jessie, and sit down in a chair. Jessie looks to me, "Feeling better?" And smiles. I smile back faintly with a nod, "Yeah.." "Is something wrong?" "Huh? No, of course not.." Darn, she always has a strange second sense for things like this. "Are you sure? You seem.. distant.." I smile a bit more and nod, "I'm fine.. really.." "Okay.." She smiles and sits down next to me. My eyes wander around the room, looking to each fur, and then finally coming to a rest on the wonderful, radiant kat next to me and I smile again, "Jess?" "Yes, Magi?" "Do.. do you..?" The words trail off as I try and find the best way to put it. "Do you like being a part of the List?" She looks a little surprised by the question and studders a bit before she responds with, "Yeah, I guess.." "You guess?" "Weeeell.. I don't talk all that much, and don't really join in too much, so it's good to listen I guess." "I don't know why, but it used to be so much better." "Better?" "Yeah. I mean, I think it was even better before I came along, but until about August of last year, the summer I was on, it was one of the best places ever. It saved me from near suicide and helped me to discover my small parody-writing talents. And it used to be so much more on-topic, and I found it much easier to write and actually get responses. These days I seem to be reading more and more offtopic stuff about other fur's daily lives." "Aw.. well don't worry, it'll pick up with Simba's Pride." "Maybe." "Maybe?" "Could mean just more arguing." "What do you mean?" "Remember the clip? The place errupted into chatter about how awful it was because the colors were off and Simba seemed more muscular than normal. It's almost as if they're expecting another tLK." "Yeah, but it's only because they love it." "Pbb. Do you honestly believe that?" "Well.." "I mean.. if they *love* it so much, why are they looking for the flaws?" "Very true." I nod. "Yeah. If they love the movie so much, why can't they just say, 'Wow! This looks better than we expected!' rather than, 'This, this and this are wrong. Oy.'" "That's what was bothering you, wasn't it?" "Perhaps," I respond with a grin. Jessie nods, "It was." I laugh, "Okay, okay, so it was." She smiles, "Well, all I can say is that no matter what changes out there we'll always have the Squad and each other. I mean, things change. That's just normal." "Yeah. Normal." With a sigh, I look to Jess again with a small smile, "Thanks.." "You're more than welcome." I kiss Jessie on the cheek. "I'm gonna go for a bit, I'll see you later, okay?" "Oh, okay.." She looks to me concerningly, "Are you okay, Love?" "Yeah, I'm fine," I respond with a warm, reassuring smile, "I just need to get outside for a bit." "Well.. come back soon, okay? Even if you just want to talk." "Okay, I'll remember that," I smile, "Bye, Love.." "Bye, Love.." she smiles and kisses me on the cheek as I stand up, taking one last glance at the Squad, and head out. With a deep sigh I look around at all the furs packed into the Cafe, sharing conversation, disscussion, and arguments without yelling. I see mouths move without words, expressions without meaning. Something feels like it's missing. I slip through the exit as someone just getting on stage proudly says, "Excuse me.. excuse me.. I'd like to read you all something.." As I walk outside, I see a figure in a chair next to the door, head leaning back, an empty bottle of something-or-other lightly held to him by a forepaw, fast alseep. I chuckle at the cat and then look to the other side of me. "Boo." I literally leapt back two feet with a yelp at the sight of the big cat's face two inches from my nose. As I pant and return to my senses, I notice that the cat is Ndoto. "Ndoto?!" "Oh, sorry, did I scare you? I'm sorry.." I laugh faintly in response, and walk back over to him, "It's okay, don't worry about it. Why are you out here, anyway?" "Oh, I just didn't feel like going into the Cafe yet. I wanted to sit out here and watch the stars come. Perhaps catch a daydream or two." With a nod I look up to the sky at the brightest starts appearing in the sky. It's a neat coincidence that my last name means star and Ndoto means dream. "Sounds neat.. caught any good daydreams yet?" "Not yet," he replies with a pout, then looks to me, "Why did *you* come out here, anyway?" "I just needed to get out on my own for a bit." Ndoto grins, "Live a new life?" "Huh?" I blink as I look to Ndoto, then chuckle as I realize the joke, "Oh. Haha.. no, I was thinking about the past." He suddenly turns serious, "Oh.." "About the List." I pause before saying, "Hey, you've been on longer than me, what do you think about the state of the List?" "*Me*?" "Yeah.." I faintly notice him blush, "I'm not good with opinions.." "Please?" "Well.. I think it has gone down a bit in quality.." I nod in response, "Yeah, exactly." "Is.. that..?" "Yep." "Oh.." "It's almost depressing to think that it has changed so much." "Are you sure it's the List that has changed?" "Of course!" "Hmm. It's probably a bit of that, and a bit of your change of view." "Wha?" I look to him curiously. He looks to me, "Well.. the way I see it, you thought the List was the best thing ever when you signed on, right?" "Yeah.." "So it could only go down in your opinion." "True..but it went down a *lot*." He shrugs, "I guess some must like it." "Oh, sure, but I spend more time talking to Jessie and you rather than on on the Lists these days." "Maybe you should leave, then." I blink, surprised, as I look to him. "What?!" "Well, if you're not enjoying your time there anymore, maybe you should leave for a couple months." "But what if a neat discussion comes up and I miss it? I mean.. it may not be like it was, but it's still.. nice." "Well I don't mean forever, just for a month or two to get away from it all. Take a vacation!" "Hmm.. maybe I'll.. sort of just slip into the corners for a little while." "Okay.. I hope you won't slip into corners from us, though.." I chuckle and shake my head, "No, no, never! I don't think I could survive if I were to do that." "So are you going to announce your leave?" I laugh, "Yeah, like anyone'll care." "Some might." "I doubt it." He shrugged, and after a pause, said simply, "You never know." Indeed. You never know. I sighed as I looked to the lion I feel honored to call my best friend and nodded. Then smiled and nodded again, "Okay. Fine." He smiled. I got up and walked through the door, back into the cafe. Things were still as they were. I guess deep down I was hoping I'd notice a change to occur while I was outside -- but that was being just a tad too hopeful, perhaps. I headed towards the stage, watching Rindimo as he displays to the List his latest work. The crowd cheers when he's done, and I watch at the base of the stage as he works his way down, talking to certain furs on his way past who congratulate him. I sigh and look down, then slowly work my way up to the stage and look out, waiting for things to slowly calm down before I clear my throat. "Excuse me all." At this, the place quiets down slightly. "I'd like to announce that I'll be leaving for a bit." There are a few "ohs" in the crowd, and chatter starts to erupt again. I frown. "HEY!" Hush falls over the group again. "At least be polite and wait until I'm done..?" Silence and a cough can be heard. I begin to start again until I see Ndoto slowly walk through the door. He notices me looking at him and he nods slightly as if he knew I had ceased to carry on because of him. And so, from his reassuring nod, I slowly began to say what my heart was trying to tell me. "I.. I'm leaving because.. because this place isn't the same. All the topics relating to tLK have dried up and gone, and at good times, the discussion switches to a browser war. According to the latest war, it seems I'm a newbie who doesn't know better.. so maybe I shouldn't be here in the first place. "I'll probably lurk in the corners and join in now and then.. but I can't stand seeing Rindimo do post after post of great parody stuff like I did last summer. I hate to see how posts I write go ignored. And then similar ones by other furs get at least two or three. I know, I know, silly thing to leave over, but.. I'm just telling you what I feel. "And I guess it's my own fault for not writing parodies in the first place to *get* the praise," I shrugged, "I just miss it. Plus, my latest one didn't get any feedback at all. Good or bad. I know that should be taken as good, but I can't ignore it. "This list started my life. It led to giving me my mate and the best friends," I couldn't help but look towards Ndoto, "I've ever had in my life. But it's time for me to leave. For now, anyway. Hopefully I'll be back. If you'll actually have me back after saying these things. I just wanted to leave with telling you my deep thoughts. Before any of you flame -- they're not meant to be personal attacks at all. "So this is it. Thank you for everything, I hope I'll see you all around. Goodbye." I took another look around the crowd. In this space of ear-ringing silence, I saw faces I've looked at so many times. It was hard to say goodbye after all this time.. even if that "goodbye" really only meant slipping into a corner for a little. I sighed again and got down from the stage. The silence lasted a little longer before conversation broke out again. I slowly walked over to the door and turned to face the room. Nothing had changed. Yet everything did. "Mageuzi," I heard a voice say. But I didn't want to talk right now. I looked down and headed out, leaving the sunset on the sign, and the sunset on the horizon, for the very last time.