Welp.... this is it.  My last post to the List.  This means I've
unsuscribed, so any replies, or further good byes need to be sent to
skratkat@yahoo.com.  I won't be able to access that email until
thursday, so don't worry if you don't get an instant reply from me. ;)
	I'm going to miss you all...  But I shall come back.... Even if it's
going to be when summer arrives...  Anyway, enjoy my contribution the
the parody genre.  ;)
	AND BTW!  I give anyone who cares, permission to link to my webpage,
feature any of my art, or stories.  ;)  There, now I'm bound by that. 
Okay, on with the show! ;)  


.		How to Write Like Rindimo--
	A Writer's Guide to Utter Superfluousness.
		   By: Rindimo Cheetah

	As I continue to profusely generate jocularity down the path unwinding,
many spectators of my ways have constantly inquired just how on earth am
I even capable of constantly producing material of the parody/humor
nature.  I have normally replied that it is a gift from God, or that it
is due to the high levels of chocolate slushing through my arteries. 
But still, the questions have prevailed, and I am willing to dispell any
rumors, and to finally lay my ways onto the metaphorical table for those
who follow to read the format of my ways.  So now, I have gathered my
methods, my styles, and my mind to finally reveal what makes a Rindimo
posting so entertaining.
	Firstly, we must don on the Rindimo mentality.  It is very important to
have an extreme associative neural network.  In other words, you best be
able to come up with some astranged topic that relates in some odd,
distinct way to The Lion King.  In some cases, it's best to confuse
words with words that sound close to it (Upendi = Your Panties, for
example) or can have an alternate meaning  (Example:  Waterhole. 
Heh.... YOU figure it out!).  Of course, if all else fails, just visit
the "The Lion King Mailing List" and see what the main topic seems to be
plagueing the bandwidth.
	This brings on an interesting approach to writing humorous stories. 
There will always be a topic that no matter how people may try, it will
never go away.  For instance, Titanic has plagued the mailing list (and
still is, occasionally), and though many protested that the thread be
stopped, it continued on.  A few took opportunity to write some humorous
parodies that took the edge off of it, and helped calm some people
down.  The same thing happened with the most despised song on the
"Return to Pride Rock" CD-- Upendi.  It never was placed on anyone's
favorites list (at least not publicly until recently), and many were
dissatisfied with
how it was going to ruin not only the soundtrack, but the sequal
itself.  That is, until one day, the parody of it--  "Your Panties"--
was written by yours truly.  The wording sounded so closely, and fitted
so well into the song, (In my opinion, that is) that many could not
listen to the song ever the same as when they first heard it.
	Now that is only a tiny tactic of mine, and there will always be more
ways that will be invented either by me, or others out there in the
field.  Keep in mind to always be on the lookout for more invetive,
creative ways to produce a topic few have thought of, and many will
enjoy.
	Okay, I'll give you one last method for getting ideas.  Draw from real
Life experiences.  Where do you think I got the ideas for "The Savannah
Steakhouse" series?  I was a waiter for over a year at Golden Corral,
and was up to my whiskers in experience.  Just take any subject you are
familiar with enough to refrain from making real stupid mistakes, and
you have a potentially humorous post.
	Another thing that deals with mentality, is the "Alternate Dimension"
principle.  What I mean, is that you can take the same scene, different
circumstances, and still get the same outcome.  For example, there are
all the silly stories I've done that dealt with how Simba defeated
Scar.  So far, I believe I used this instance at least 5 times.  (Oil
King, Dinner Theatre, Truth or Dare, Takanstein's Monster, etc.)  It
never hurts to constantly keep exploring the same idea in different
ways.
	The same with Mufasa.  I think it's up to three instances now where ol'
Muffy was duped by Scar into a nearly fatal experience. (Attempt #451:
To Kill a Mufasa, The Terminator, and What a Combo!)
	Another tactic, is the "Naughty" appeal.  Yes, as much as we deny it,
the human mind is susceptible to curiousity about the things our parents
have warned us about.  Just like Simba wanting to explore the Elephant
Graveyard, we too, have this tendency to want to explore things we know
we shouldn't.  So thus, I have occasionally chosen things that either
fantasy would so greatly appreciate had it been reality, or stuff we
know that we know that we know leads to mischief.  Examples of this
would be the "Sarabi and Sarafina Celebrity Deathmatch", and "Truth or
Dare" to name a few of my own works.  Yes, I admit, I normally attempt
to try and appeal to the male oriented audience due to the simple fact
that I am a male.  I stick with what I know the most about.  Hee hee...
So until a female takes this interesting course of writing, I must
apologize to the ladies out there.  I know not how to write from your
views.
	And my most favorite tactic of them all:  Out of Character
appearances.  In other words, the character chosen to be the focus of
the story does something totally unexpected to the reader. For some odd
reason, Rafiki comes to mind...  ;)  Not to mention, you can also take
the habits of the different characters, and blow them out of
proportion.  For instance, Rafiki being arrested by the N.A.R.C.'s for
trying to get ahold of some Alba flowers... hee hee...
	Let's see... we've discussed a few methods of getting ideas for
stories...  Tactics... Oh yes!  now it is time to discuss the layout of
the story itself! 
	Well first of all...  We need an idea that is just capable of making
you laugh just thinking about it.  With this basic idea, you can shape
the whole story around it.  I've always viewed writing a story analogous
to a poorly planned car trip:  You know where you're supposed to end up,
but you accidentally take one route instead of another, and the kids
keep wanting to stop to go to the bathroom.  You finally make it there,
but not the way you first set out to.  Now for some of you reading this,
this is not your style.  But for me, it has always been an adventure
writing.  Sometimes, it was almost frightening to say the least.
	Okay, Let's say that Simba hasn't been getting enough fan fiction
attention lately.  Well, all right-- he's been getting attention, but no
one has decided to explore him to see if there is a dark side to him. 
Excellent!  We can not only be funny, but present a radical new idea to
the list in such a way that might cause others to pick up the pen and
explore their own avenues.  Not to mention dark stuff is cool. Everyone
likes to learn a little dirty secret about someone.  Okay, not
everyone...
	So what can we say about Simba?  Now remember that there are some
younger audiences that read these things, and disclaimers shouldn't
become a constant thing you must always add to your posts.  Well I don't
know about you, but I'm going to give him an addiction problem.  Yes,
I've been writing too many Rafiki stories.  All the royal families have
these odd secrets about them, any way.  No, I'm not going to tell you
the addiction just this second...  we have more things to discuss first.
	So we now have a general idea.  Good.  But now we must start paving a
way to get to this idea.  I always consider my stories to be a joke. 
And following the joke stylus, the ending is the punchline.  Therefore,
I'm going to let the reader discover this dark secret of Simba's to be
the punchline of the joke.  So now we must find a starting point, which
deals not only with place, but time as well.
	Well.... being that this is a royal secret that deals with Simba's dark
side, night time would be the most excellent choice.  So now, we have a
time, and now must choose a setting.  Let's start with something
everyone is familiar with:  Pride Rock.
	So now we have a time and a place.  Here's where the fun begins.  As a
writer, you must rely on the reader's imagination.  Your words must
paint a picture that vividly describes what you yourself see in your
head when writing these things.  Therefore, I like to start my stories
with a description of the setting.  So the following will be an example:

	"The moon blared its cold beams across the enshadowed Pridelands. 
Amongst what would normally be a green, lush land, the night held only
darkness for color, and objects.  Yes, the land itself turned into one
conglomerate entity of darkness.  Everything melded into its neighbor. 
Even the prey of the land seemed to dissapear.  The only thing to really
stand out was Pride Rock itself, for it was too large to be swallowed up
by the creeping black of night."

	Might I mention that the Mood is also an essential part of a story. 
Here in this case, we have what hopefully appears to be a threatening,
and rather tension building paragraph.  The reader should be struck with
this post carrying over with a good portion of seriousness.  Not to
mention, the choice of words hopefully sucked all of the reader's
attention, and now has him eagerly seeking to read the next paragraph.
	So now we have a rather hostile environment presented before us. 
Good.  We could dwell on it some more, and describe things in more
detail, but this is all just to give you a feel of how to write like
Rindimo, not write a full length novel.  Short stories are excellent in
presenting information quickly, and efficiently.  How it's done deals
with your own artistic liscense, and we won't go into that.  Anyway, now
would be a good time to present our subject for this story: Simba!

	"Simba was glad to have the moon to accompany him.  Though no warmth
came from its rays, it did at least stifle the foreboding darkness that
he had to toil through in order to be rid of the pain that afflicts him
so.  Oh, how the guilt tears at his heart!  He feels terrible carrying
this pain all alone, yet he won't tell anyone.  Abash with shame, he
slinks away from his unbeknownst family members off into the darkness. 
He almost feels comforted by the fact no one can see him this dreary
night."

	Now the plot thickens!  We not only present the character, but hint
evilly about what is to take place.  It's just enough information to
make the reader want to know more, more, more!  What's Simba up to?  Why
is he under so much shame?  Could this deal with how his father died? 
Is that the pain he still carries?
	I love a good confusing paragraph.  It alludes to so much, yet it is up
to us to slowy chip away at the huge block of questions, until there is
but our intended answer.  Therefore, we go on, and continue to create a
plot that keeps building, and thickening:

	"Quickly now, he must run down a path which he has managed to hide from
his fellow pridemates.  With every twist and turn, he carefully reminds
himself to destroy his footprints so no one will know of his passing
here.  It was odd that he hasn't lost his way due to this, but his mind
combined with the shame won't ever let it leave his thoughts.  No
matter, he trudged through a small creek to help wash away his scent
that would most certainly lead an inquiring mind to Simba's own demise."

	"What's this secret????" Should be what the reader is asking right
about now.  Why must he take such great precautions?  What?  He's got a
hot lioness "friend" he doesn't want Nala to know about?  hee hee...
obviously, we ignore these questions, and just keep telling the story as
if no one was bugging us with such stupid questions.  Now to really grab
ahold
of the reader's attention, and present a new element into the story!

	"Ah, there it was!  The object he had been seeking tonight!  The light
shining from it only chilled him the more.  He hated the fact that he
had to leave the bushes, and show himself in this ethereal light.  So
artificial, so unreal the light was... what with its crackling, and
buzzing as it emanated from it's source.  With his heart pounding to the
point that it echoed through his ears, Simba took a long, deep breath,
and quickly dodged his way from the shadows to the light of the object."

	Yep.  More intrigue.  But also, we are now hinting to something else
other than Simba and his problem.  And odd object is now the main
focus.  Or course, since we are the ones writing this, we fully know
what it is, but we're saving the punchline-- and all the details that
come with it-- for the end.  Preferrably the last scentence, if at all
possible.  The reader should be hit with such a shock and surprise that
he will go insane.  No no.... just kidding.  But it should be a very
good surprise ending.  Quite witty, and unexpected.  Not to mention.. in
our case... humorous.  BA-DA-BING!

	"Quickly, Simba barreled past an invisible barrier, and into the object
itself.  Gasping for breath, he quickly looked behind him to see if any
creature-- be it large or small-- has spied him carrying out his evil
deed.
	'Hello, Simba!  How are ya--'
	'SHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!' Simba hissed.
	'Oh, yeah.  I forgot about that,' The creature suddenly broke from a
loud, chipper greeting into nothing more than a discrete whisper.
	'What will it be tonight?' he whispered to Simba.
	'The usual will be fine.' Simba whispered nervously, as he continued to
keep looking outside the entrance.
	'All righty, sir.  Shall I ring it up on your tab?'
	'Yeah, I'll pay you when the family goes off to visit some relatives. 
It's just too risky right now...' Simba replied.
	'So it is... So it is...' The creature sympathised as he gathered up
some containers, and placed them into a sack.
	'Here you go Simba-- ER... friend.  Take care now, okay?'
	'Sure thing!  Thanks!'
	'Always a pleasure doing business with my best customer.'
	Simba couldn't help but give a feeble grin as he walked out of the
liquor store with his bottle of Jack Daniels."

			The End.

	BA-DA-BOOM!  And there you have it.  The clincher.  The double Whammy. 
Whatever you want to call it, we just did it.  Normally, if I do
something like this, I like to make the reader think it is something
worse than it really is.  In this case, however, I am unsure.  Oh well,
who cares?  We have something that will give at least SOMEBODY a
chuckle.  And that's what it's all about.  Making people happy.  Yeah,
yeah, enough of that mush...  We still need a title to this thing!
	For titles, we want something that will catch someone's eye when they
browse their long pile of mail, but we also want the title to not give
away the story instantly.  I do so love to make subtle hints, so I'll
title this piece as "Daniels in the Lions Den."  Neat, huh?  get it? 
Jack Daniels?  in the Lion's Den?  Hee hee...  What will really get the
reader by surprise, is the fact that this is a spoof of a christian
biblical story.  Mostly everyone with some religious background is
familiar with the tale of the prophet Daniel being thrown into the den
of lions.  So now, you have yourself something worthy to be proud
about!  Don't forget to give yourself credit for such a thing.  You can
come up with your own cute little witty ways to give youself credit.  As
for me, I just like to add my name, and another possible hint to the
story:

		Daniels in the Lion's Den
	By: The Empty-headed Rindimo Cheetah

	Hee hee... we have "Empty" referring to Simba's secret stash.  So there
we have it:  and example of how to write like Rindimo.  WHoopee.  I
encourage you though, not to adhere by what I've just shown you, but to
find out far better ways to do these things.  I figured if this seemed
to be such a success and so many people keep bothering me about how to
do it, I'll use this to worm my way out of having to explain it every
time.  Hee hee.. You can now just read this "teaching" and not have to
bother me one iota.  ;)  Oh, by the way, to read some of the stories I
have mentioned in this writing, you can always visit my website at:
http://www.lionking.org/~rindimo/ .
	Oh, just one more thing before I go:  Use good spelling and Grammar as
best as you can!  The more mistakes you make, the harder it is for the
reader to enjoy your story.  And Heaven knows we want them to enjoy it! 
;)

	Just for the heck of it, I'll display the full story used in this
writing for an example right here:


		Daniels in the Lion's Den
	By: The Empty-headed Rindimo Cheetah

	The moon blared its cold beams across the enshadowed Pridelands. 
Amongst what would normally be a green, lush land, the night held only
darkness for color, and objects.  Yes, the land itself turned into one
conglomerate entity of darkness.  Everything melded into its neighbor. 
Even the prey of the land seemed to dissapear.  The only thing to really
stand out was Pride Rock itself, for it was too large to be swallowed up
by the creeping black of night.
	Simba was glad to have the moon to accompany him.  Though no warmth
came from it's rays, it did at least stifle the foreboding darkness that
he had to toil through in order to be rid of the pain that afflicts him
so.  Oh, how the guilt tears at his heart!  He feels terrible carrying
this pain all alone, yet he won't tell anyone.  Abash with shame, he
slinks away from his unbeknownst family members off into the darkness. 
He almost feels comforted by the fact no one can see him this dreary
night.
	Quickly now, he must run down a path which he has managed to hide from
his fellow pridemates.  With every twist and turn, he carefully reminds
himself to destroy his footprints so no one will know of his passing
here.  It was odd that he hasn't lost his way due to this, but his mind
combined with the shame won't ever let it leave his thoughts.  No
matter, he trudged through a small creek to help wash away his scent
that would most certainly lead an inquiring mind to Simba's own demise.
	Ah, there it was!  The object he had been seeking tonight!  The light
shining from it only chilled him the more.  He hated the fact that he
had to leave the bushes, and show himself in this ethereal light.  So
artificial, so unreal the light was... what with its crackling, and
buzzing as it emanated from it's source.  With his heart pounding to the
point that it echoed through his ears, Simba took a long, deep breath,
and quickly dodged his way from the shadows to the light of the object.
	Quickly, Simba barreled past an invisible barrier, and into the object
itself.  Gasping for breath, he quickly looked behind him to see if any
creature-- be it large or small-- has spied him carrying out his evil
deed.
	"Hello, Simba!  How are ya--"
	"SHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Simba hissed.
	"Oh, yeah.  I forgot about that," The creature suddenly broke from a
loud, chipper greeting into nothing more than a discrete whisper.
	"What will it be tonight?" he whispered to Simba.
	"The usual will be fine." Simba whispered nervously, as he continued to
keep looking outside the entrance.
	"All righty, sir.  Shall I ring it up on your tab?"
	"Yeah, I'll pay you when the family goes off to visit some relatives. 
It's just too risky right now..." Simba replied.
	"So it is... So it is..." The creature sympathised as he gathered up
some containers, and placed them into a sack.
	"Here you go Simba-- ER... friend.  Take care now, okay?"
	"Sure thing!  Thanks!"
	"Always a pleasure doing business with my best customer."
	Simba couldn't help but give a feeble grin as he walked out of the
liquor store with his bottle of Jack Daniels.

			The End.

	Thus concludes the lesson, and I hope you all enjoyed it.  And best of
all-- it was free.  WOW.  There might still be some good left in my
heart.  Of course... who would want to pay for THIS anyway?  ;)


			Always grinning, and tales a-spinning,  ;)
				-Rindimo Cheetah
			        (rindimo@bellsouth.net)

+Founder, and only member of L.O.S.T.-- C.A.U.S.E (League Of Simplistic 
	Technology--  Creating All Unforeseen Solutions Evident)
+FCOS Lost & Found Clerk 						ICQ # : 12915153
+Amateur Artist/Writer/Musician						AOL IM : Rindimo1
+Bachelor?   <=7			Webpage: 
http://www.lionking.org/~rindimo/index.shtml
+ Honorable Member of the Pride Keepers.
"One thing nothing can destroy, is our pride deep inside we are one!"

*********************************************************************
Well don't stop.  Whatever you do, don't stop.  Because as soon as you
			stop, you're forgotten.

			        - Mageuzi
*********************************************************************