In the words of Timon: "I tell ya, Pumbaa, this stinks!"
Such is the case concerning my habitation over here.  ALlow me to
clarify:

	Four days ago... the water stopped coming out of the faucet.  I
inquired the "handy man" what was the problem.  (I was also halfway
through with a shower, too.)  Apparently, a valve going to our little
apartment group broke.  Well... for three days, we were forced to  rig a
hose going from one apartment group to ours, so we'd at least have
SOMETHING.  The taste and smell of rubber hose was not enjoyable those
three days...
	The night of the third day, the water stopped again.  This time, the
tenants in the group donating their water didn't like the noise of
rushing water any more.  So at midnight, I was forced to go door-to-door
to borrow more hose, and with my tool box, had to rig all these hoses a
different way to a different apartment group just so we'd have water.
	Now... for the clincher.  Today, The "plumbers" finally came.  Only
now, they had to turn off the ENTIRE apartment complex to replace the
the three main valves.  They started at 7:00 in the morning... and the
water finally came on at 5:00 in the afternoon!!!!  I've done this sort
of thing before with my dad... and I can tell you... it shouldn't have
taken that long!  But the worst part was... they turned off the water
ten minutes after "Fixing" it.  They didn't attach the joints right!  it
was crooked, and leaking!!  And these people claim to be professionals!!
	So finally... It is 6:30, and we finally have water running again. 
only now, sand is pouring out, and clogging everything, and the water's
a yellowish orange color.  Nasty stuff.

	But anyway, my parody.  This parody is an old one written a while back
for different reasons.  However, I rememberred it out of this situation,
and so thusly, shall finally post it to the list.  I'm also going to
bash the plumbers with a poem after the parody.... I might as well
contain my Gade "A" spam in one letter, eh?  Okay, Hold on to your
pants!  (if you got 'em!)

		"Please Fix My Car Before Tonight"
			(Parody of CYFtLT?)
			By: Rindimo Cheetah 

	Timon:  I can see what's happ'ning...
	Pumbaa:  WHat?!
	T: That mechanic ain't got a clue!
	P: Who??!!
	T: He'll fall over dead, because he never thought, just what that kid
would do!
	P: Oh.
	T: The uncertainty of twilight...  There's TENSION-- everywhere... and
with this chaotic atmosphere... DISASTER'S IN THE AIR!!!

Chorus:	PLEASE fix my car before tonight....
	I got to get to work.
	My employer, won't let me stay home,
	I'm starting to go berserk!!

Rindimo: So many things to yell out,
	 But how the mechanic must see:
	 If he doesn't start speeding up his work,
	 A warrant will be sent out for me!

Mechanic: Man, that kid ain't holdin' back nothin!
	  I guess I'd better decide--
	  Should I finish eatin' my Big Mac,
	  Or start workin' on his riiiiiiide?

Chorus:	Please! Fix my car!  Before tonight!
	Don't make me get my gun...
	If I went, and did this myself, 
	Then I'd already be done!!

	IF you don't fix my car 'fore tonight,
	There'll be hell on earth!
	But I won't get it as bad as you--
	'Cause I'll be getting my money's worth!

	Timon:  ...And if his car is fixed before tonight...
	Pumbaa:  <sniff>
	T:  ...It can be assumed...
	P: The mechanic will live another day...
	Both:  And the world's no longer doomed!!

	And now, my plum-bum bashing poem!!!  No offense to those who actually
do this for a living...  You don't live in Redneck town like I do,
anyway...

			PVC for Thee
			by: Rindimo

	You haven't sped over in a hurry.
	Your breath smells a lot like beer.
	Your pants haven't much to hang on,
	But you better get your rear in gear!

	Fit your form into that hole!
	Get down below that permafrost!
	Tear out that rusted shut-off valve!
	Replace it fast, or your life is lost!!

	You took forever to dig a hole.
	The valve, you didn't have that type.
	It'll take a while, you said, to go out and get it.
	Better hurry, before your face meets pipe!

	Work faster, harder!  DO your job!
	Is this getting in your head?!
	Solder them joints on that pipe!
	Or it'll be your skull that'll have the LEAD!	

	Finally, you have returned!
	Hours later, you're finally done.
	The water has a bunch of dirt in it,
	And you left faster than you've ever come!

	Never show your face again!
	Same goes for your rear-end too!
	If somehow we were to ever meet again....
	There'll be a DOCTOR, giving a BILL to YOU!!


		...And that's that for this E-mail post!
				-Rindimo

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