Subject: Hmmm... what do you think, Sarabi? Date: Mon, 16 Mar 1998 16:45:56 -0600 From: Rindimo Reply-To: TLK-L@lionking.org Organization: L.O.S.T.-- C.A.U.S.E To: tlk-l@lionking.org First of all.... Ever notice how I find the most interesting ways to tell people stuff? This is one of those instances where the characters are fictional, but the facts are true. so be afraid! be very afraid! repent, ye sinners!!! =) THE END OF THE WORLD IS COMING! By: Rindimo It was an ordinary day for Sarafina. She was busy driving her porshe on down to the local grocery store to buy goodies to stock the royal fridge for all to eat when dinner came. Why can't everybody get their own meal? So what if we're social creatures? Really, each lioness should get their own apartment, or something! It gets to be quite a hassle everybody sleeping everywhere in just one room... and man, can that Sarabi snore! Well, at least with Simba's generosity with the royal treasury, each lioness got a car of her choice, and her own garage. sooner or later, there'll be more improvements to follow... She continued her bubbling-over ranting, as she went through the meat aisle, and began to scrutinize over the wide variety of selections. "Hmmm... I know Simba doesn't care what it is, so long as it's meat, and not bugs... Nala keeps telling me to get leaner meat, so she can keep the weight off after having that cub... I don't see anything wrong with her! why, I ate anything I wanted when I was having her! Hmmmph! and that Sarabi! always wanting the most expensive piece of meat out there! I swear, you become a wife to a king, and all you want is the best! the best! Blah, blah, blah!" As Sarafina pushed the heavily loaded cart filled with just meat to the check out station, she began to think of what to do for the communual dinner tonight. As the cashier was adding up the price list, he winces as Sarafina won't stop talking. "And then they say all I do is talk about shoes! Can you believe that?! Really! it's jackets, and blouses, and slacks that I talk about! shoes! hmmph! really! Why, they don't even fit my feet! And then mrs. Pompous Sarabi has to always talk about politics! B0-0RING! I don't care about how we should more efficiently govern the pridelands, or how others do it! I want to talk about that De Caprio hunk! .... He's SO DREAMY! Really, if only there was something different to talk about, altogether, so those picky lionessess leave me alone for once!" As Sarafina continued to proceed with her incessant babbling while she walked out the door, she came to bump into none other than.... RINDIMO! everyone's favorite cheetah! "Oh, why Rindimo! such a pleasant surprise to run into you! How are you doing? Me, I'm just fine, and-" "Whoah, 'Fina! Nice to meet you too! Let me talk a little bit, too!" "Oops! sorry! I can't help it, when I start to get upset, I just start to keep on talking, and can't stop. I go on, and on, and on, until finally, someone comes and-" "'Fina! stop it!" "...stops me." "Okay, so you're upset over something. so what is it?" Sarafina sighed. "It's the other lionessess. when we all get together to eat and talk, they all claim I can't talk of anything of great importance... though they do like to talk about that dreamy De Caprio... Except Sarabi. She doesn't like his hair color. how dare she bash such a handsome heart pounder! why if I had the chance-" "Sarafina!" "OOps! sorry! Well... you see my problem, don't you?" "Yes. So, something different, huh?" Rindimo scratches his chin, as he furrows his brow in concentration- all the while looking around for inspiration. Suddenly, his eyes and his smile light up with an answer. "Gideonites!" "Ex-scuse me?" "Look look! over there! there's some gideonites giving out free bibles!" "I'm supposed to talk about gideonites giving out free bibles?" "No! no, we are going to get one for you!" "What!? But we lions don't need bibles! we have already memorized the teachings of Aiheu for generations." "And I'm certain you're VERY good at telling them, too, I imagine." Rindimo chuckles, as he happily picks up a bible off of the small table and thanks the gideonites. "But you asked for something totally serious and different, didn't you?" "Well, yes." "Something that'll literally blow away your fellow pride mate's minds?" "Yes, yes! so what you got?" "Well, ever read in the papers lately about the asteroid to hit the earth in the year 2028?" "No, but I heard it on the news." "Same thing." "But a recent report stated it was going to miss the earth by 600 thousand miles." "Makes no difference. All you need to do, is read Revelations, Chapter 8, verses 8 through 12, after you mention the news about the asteroid, again." "Why, thanks, Rindimo! How'd you even think of this?" "What, am I the only one who reads this thing? The book of Revelation is cool! Besides, I thought of this a week ago." Stunned, Sarafina proceeded to drive back in the general direction of Pride Rock. **** Dinner as usual, was noisy and messy. But thanks to the millions made in the movie of the documentation of Simba's life, all the pride got to eat at once, and had their own choice foods... not to mention a table. Of course, when the first main feeding frenzy was over, the table began to turn to conversation.... Naturally, Sarabi began talking about politics, and seemed all-important, as she continued to lull on. But something didn't seem right. "Why Sarafina! Do we bore you? You're not as talkative as you normally are." Sarafina quickly brightened up. "Why, actually, I DO have something to talk about!" She ignored a whisper of "De Caprio", and proceeded: "Well, I was just thinking about that asteroid mentioned in the news. You know, the one that was supposed to hit the earth, but now they say it's gonna miss us by 600 thousand miles in 2028? Well, I was thinking about it, and then I rememberred something I read in the book of Revelations." Amist all the lions gasping at this intellectual blossoming of Sarafina's tounge, many couldn't help but speculate, and whisper, as Sarafina pulled out the Bible, and proceeded to turn to the spot that Rindimo advised her: "Well, it says here, in Revelation chapter 8:8-12, "8 And the second angel sounded (a trumpet), and as it were a great mountain burning with fire was cast into the sea: and the third part of the sea became blood; 9 And the third part of the creatures that were in the sea, and had life, died; and the third part of the ships were destroyed. 10 And a third angel sounded, and there fell a great star from heaven, burning as it were a lamp, and it fell upon a third part of the rivers, and upon the fountains of waters; 11 And the name of the star is called Wormwood; and the third part of the rivers became Wormwood; and many men died of the waters, because they were made bitter. 12 And the fourth angel sounded, and a third part of the sun was smitten, and the third part of the moon, and the third part of the stars; so as the third part of them was darkened, and a day shone not for a third part of it, and the night likewise." Well... I was just wondering if that flaming mountain could be this asteroid coming... What if it comes, and tries to hit the earth, and when we try and nuke it away, we end up blowing it into two parts, and they come down and do all that stuff mentioned in the Bible, and then, of course, after impact, there definitely would be alot of dust, so that would account for the days being darkened. Of course, if the scientists are right, we have nothing to worry about, but what if they're wrong? So who are you going to trust: a two thousand year old prophecy, or some high paid scientist who's more concerned with saving him and his respective field from ridicule?" Sarafina smirked, as everyone sat in shock, with their mouths agape. She slowly rested her chin on her wrists, as she leaned forward, and placing her elbows on the table, coyly remarked, "Hmmm... what do you think, Sarabi?" The End So.... any input or comments? We ARE- after all- living in the last days, aren't we? --  The Tiger is made to kill and hunt, The Lion too, but more towards fight. The Leopards and Jaguars were made to climb, And Cheetahs made for earthly flight. But there is one creature of forgotten lore: Shrouded in mystery, be that it's trade, Of other virtues, it has all four- Respect the Puma, and what God made. -Rindimo E-mail Address: Rindimo@bellsouth.net *If you can read this, then I am still an eligible bachelor!*  Founder (and only member) of: The L.O.S.T.- C.A.U.S.E. (League Of Simplistic Technology- Causing All Unforseen Solutions Evident) K.I.S.S.: Keep It Simple, Stupid. (Long neglected scientific principle)