First, I would like to thank the people at Mainframe Inc. for creating ReBoot in the first place.
Second, I’d like to thank Jerry at the ReHuCoHa, Dot at the Ultimate ReBoot Page, and Gwen for putting up my fics and putting up with me. Thanks guys!
Thirdly, I’d like to thank Guardian Angel for writing the Winter Saga, ReBoot Vs. South Park, (God that’s hilarious, read it NOW!), letting me use Winter in here, saying my fics were good, and just for being a cool person. Thanks Angel!
Fourthly, thanks anyone who’s written to say they enjoyed this. It’s such a great feeling when someone says that they like your work.
Enzo: O.K, O.K., that’s over with. On with the show already!
Author: Geez, you’re annoying sometimes! Have you no respect? Sigh. Well, I still prefer you like this than when you’re Matrix.
Enzo: Who?
Author: Erm, nevermind. You guys are getting into my introductions now! This is way out of hand.
Enzo: Tell me about it.
Bob: Matrix. *Who's* Matrix. Enzo and Dot are already listed!
Megabyte: Third season character. We can't mention him yet.
Bob: Why not?
Megabyte: Because people who live in the U.S. haven't gotten the third season episodes yet.
Bob: How do you KNOW these things?
Dot: Did I get any more?
Bob: Well, yes...you got *one* more vote...
(Dot just scowls and drums her fingers even harder on her organizer.)
Mouse: Geez, what's keeping that User from finishin' up today's plot already?
(There's a crash, and Frisket bursts in, carrying Enzo and AndrAIa on his back.)
Enzo: Woo hoo!
AndrAIa: Whee!
(They make a lot of noise and almost run over Dot a few times. She suddenly snaps.)
Dot: Dear God will you STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS IT! WHERE THE (censored by BSn'P) IS THE AUTHOR????!!!!! I DEMAND TODAY'S SCRIPT WITHIN 1 NANOSECOND OR I *SWEAR* SOMEBODYS GOING TO *PAY* FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!
(everyone backs away slowly.)
Bob: Dot...why don't you just sit down and relax...remember your blood pressure...
Dot: Shut up Bob.
Bob: What? All I said was that you're getting all upset over nothing and...
Dot: Shut UP Bob.
Bob: But you really are and...
Dot: Shut *UP* Bob...
Enzo: Uh, Bob? I'd shut up if I were you.
(Bob looks at Dots' face and wisely shuts up.)
(Suddenly, the author herself pops in. She seems flustered.)
Author: Uh, sorry guys, bad day at the club today.
(She shuts her eyes and thinks about the weekly ReBoot club meeting. When the news that YTV was postponing the last 4 ReBoot episodes till December came out, the club had been in shock. The news had also inadvertedly triggered the "Holy war over whether Megabyte or Matrix is cooler". It had gone like this:
Jered: No! Oh dear God, NO!
Jenny: If you’ll excuse me I’m going to go and kill someone now...
(wanders off, sobbing.)
Sylv: But Megabyte was going to be in the next episodes!
Kathline: I am going to DIE if I don't know what happens next!
Jered: What about the Bob and Dot reunion?! I’ve been waiting a YEAR for that!
Lina: Don’t forget the Dot/Matrix reunion!
Kevin: Just when we were going to see Megabyte and Hex again?! AAARRRGGGHH!!!
Andrew: Now we won't know what happens to Matrix and AndrAIa!
Kevin: Who cares about Matrix and AndrAIa? I just want to see Megabyte.
Andrew: Yeah, and see his Ascii get kicked.
Sylv: No, we were going to see MATRIX and ANRAIA’S Ascii kicked. The coolest characters always win in the end.
Lina: What?! Matrix and AnrAIa are MUCH cooler than him!
Sylv: Yeah, I bet you wish that, don’t you?
Andrew: Virus lovers!
Kevin: And damn proud of it you moronic, self-centered sprite worshippers!
Lina: Wh-how DARE you call Matrix self-centered when your viral "hero" is planning to remake all of mainframe in his own image!
Sylv: Hah! So, it’s in his programming. And as far as I’m concerned, it’s justified too!
Kevin: And Matrix’s and AndrAIa’s voices aren’t incredible or anything.
Lina: They’re just fine!
Sylv: Look, even YOU have to admit that Megabyte has the coolest voice on the show.
Lina: (pausing) Well...O.K...that’s true at least.
Andrew: Hey! Traitor!
Lina: But what about AndrAIa’s powers? She has those shootable spines, that trident, those starfish...
Andrew: And what about Matrix’s gun? The GUN!
Sylv: Oh please, don’t even get me STARTED on that damn gun of his! It’s so cheap!
Andrew: Matrix is such a developed character! He tries to handle his pain and suffering. It makes him realer!
Sylv: No. Stop. Do NOT give me that "Matrix had a bad life" angst stuff. It’s just an excuse. AndrAIa went through that and SHE didn’t become a hardened jerk.
Kevin: By the way, the way AndrAIa dresses...can you say slut?
Kathrine: Everyone just SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Everyone cowers)
Kathline: Ahem. Jared says he’s coming up with a plan that will solve this debate once and for all.
Jared: (After sitting at his desk for a while in deep thought)O.K., I'm going to fly to Toronto and hold the YTV executives hostage until they give us the rest of the episodes. Who's with me?"
Sylv: Me!
Kevin: Me!
Lina: Me!
Andrew: Me!
Kathline: Me!)
Author: Well, at least we didn’t shed any blood this time. And the "should we kill Ray Tracer or give him a main part" argument didn’t come up, or the "if Hexadecimal infected someone what colors would they turn?" thing. Sigh. O.K, I've got the scripts here. Enjoy!
Mouse: Yeah right...do I get a part in this one sugah?
Author: Well...you get a cameo...
Mouse: Aw, Good enough.
The Parody With No Name Part 3:
The Disk Drive Pair! or, Caffeine Can be Evil
Enzo: You know what sucks? No one takes us seriously. I mean, even if we win a game, or save Bob and Dot, etc...they still don't really *respect* us.
AndrAIa: Perhaps the problem is that they cannot think of us as anything else but kids. Maybe if we looked like different people, they *would* respect us.
Enzo: You mean get an upgrade? Become bigger?
AndrAIa: Hmmm. (looks thoughtfully at a store they're passing) Not exactly...
* * *
(Dot is talking to a binome in a vid-window. She’s still "sick" in her apartment.)
Dot: No, I do NOT want a free psychic reading, O.K? Now please leave me alone.
Binome: But it’s free! (for the first microsecond at least after that it’s 50 units per microsecond tax and long distance charges not included)
Dot: (getting pissed off) Did-it-ever-occur-to-you-that-I-am-TIRED AND DO NOT WANT TO BE ANNOYED?!
Binome: (honestly) No.
(Dot smashes the vid-window and settles back, frustrated.)
Dot: Stupid binome...I wonder what everyone else is doing...
* * *
(Bob is inside Hexadecimal’s lair. He looks nervous.)
Bob: Um, Hex? Hello? Uh...it’s me, Bob!
Hexadecimal: (appearing behind Bob) Hello.
Bob: GYAHHHHH!!!!! (jumps into the air and lands on his butt.) Don’t do that! Please!
Hexadecimal: Well well guardian...bet you want to know what I need you for, hmm?
Bob: (nervous) Hex, PLEASE just tell me what you want!
Hexadecimal: Heh heh- all right Bob, you’re my personal lackey for a whole second!
Bob: Uh...say what?
Hexadecimal: Oh, you know! I command, you obey...that sort of thing!
Bob: Oh boy. Oh no. Oh NO no no no...oh...oh GREAT.
Hexadecimal: Stop whining Bob.
Bob: (sighing) O.K.
Hexadecimal: (angry) You will address me properly, scum! (sends a blast that knocks him to the floor. She puts on a happy mask) Isn’t this FUN Bob?
Bob: (whimpering) Mommy...
* * *
AndrAIa: I don’t know. It’s a good idea, but do you think they’ll fall for it?
Enzo: Hey, they fell for the time I pretended Megabyte kidnapped me.
AndrAIa: True. Well, let’s try it out.
(They walk to the back of the store. We see a few flashes of light, and hear their voices.)
Enzo: Whoa cool, it worked! We’d better go back to normal though.
(More light flashes. They walk back to the front of the store where Frisket’s been waiting.)
AndrAIa: Let us hope the User decides to play a game soon, so we can save everyone in it.
(The sky goes purple and a gamecube starts to drop down into G-prime.)
Enzo: Whoa! Talk about a coincidence.
AndrAIa: No, that was just a plot device. You get used to them.
(They zoom off towards the game.)
* * *
(Back in Hex’s lair, we see that she had Bob on a chain. Hexadecimal appears quite happy. Bob doesn’t.)
Bob: Augh! Hexadeci- I mean, oh great and beautiful Queen of Chaos...(he mutters under his breath) and I though MEGABYTE had a big ego.
Hexadecimal: Yes Guardian?
Bob: I need to access that game! If you miss too many you get fired. The supercomputer’s kind of strict that way.
Hexadecimal: But we’ve been having SO much fun Bob- Letting you play tag with the nulls (Bob shudders)...feeding Scuzzy...(Bob rubs his hand, which had a bandage on it, and glares at Scuzzy. Scuzzy just snaps his teeth and grins.) doing my shopping...(She plays with her new earrings)
Bob: Do you know how EMBARASSED I was buying a pair of those? I had to lie and say they were for Dot!
Hexadecimal: Yes, well, get over it. Hmmm...oh, very well, you’ve been such a good little guardian I’ll let you out to play...but keep the collar on, would you?
Bob: Gee thanks I-Whoa! (He yells because a portal leading to G-prime has just opened up underneath him. Hex shakes her head.)
Hexadecimal: Tsk. NOW what’ll I do? I know! (She snaps her fingers) Another game of "annoying Ms. Matrix!" That’s always fun. (She laughs evilly)
* * *
Unknown to everyone, the plot hole of a gamecube dropping down when Enzo and AndrAIa wanted it to is still there, sitting somewhere in level 31. (Where all the weird and creepy things seem to happen for some reason.) It looks like a tear, but with one difference. Tears lead to other places. Plot holes lead to other fanfics.
It grew slightly bigger when Bob convinced Hexadecimal to let him in, and bigger still when it happened that Megabyte got caught in the game cube, along with Hack and Slash. Another coincidence like that could stabilize the hole, and then User knows WHAT will come out.
* * *
(We’re inside a jungle combat type game. The User looks like your standard commando, complete with goofy looking camouflage outfit and grenade launcher. Bob and the others are someways off.)
Bob: ReBoot! (He ReBoots into an outfit similar to the User’s.)
Hack: Ooooooh...
Slash:...grenade launcher!!!
(They try to take it away to play with)
Bob: (snatching it back) Hey, get your own!
Hack and Slash: Awwww.
Megabyte: (Sighs) Another one of these childish, insipid games! Really, who enjoys playing these things? (Looks at Bob who has a big grin on his face.) Nevermind.
Bob: (Who didn’t hear Megabyte) Just let me get in there, blow the User to smithereens, and get out. Try not to screw anything up, okay?
(Everyone glares at him but since they don’t really want to be turned into little energy eating slugs, they don’t do anything. Bob walks two feet, and triggers a pit trap, which opens and swallows up everyone. It’s a deep pit. An electrical net covering the pit springs up at the top, preventing anyone from escaping.)
Bob: D’oh!
Megabyte: You IDIOT! NOW how are we going to defeat this game?!
Bob: Hey, I’m a guardian! I’ll think of something!
Megabyte: (snarling) Like WHAT?
Bob: Uh...
Megabyte: We’re doomed.
Bob: Maybe this’ll work (tries shooting the net. Nothing happens.)
Megabyte: (sarcastically) Oh my yes, VERY effective thing to do *Bob*.
(Bob is about to reply "shut up", but realizes this could be a fatal move on his part, especially since he left the rest of his ammo up at the top.)
* * *
(Enzo and AndrAIa have been watching from a nearby bush.)
Enzo: They need our help-let’s do it! (He holds up his icon) Caffeine power...
AndrAIa: Water power...
Together: MAKE UP!
Enzo: Why do I get the feeling I’ve just ripped off a T.V show AND a little known fanfic?
AndrAIa: Just transform.
(The author has decided not to rip off Sailormoon and Shadows of Insanity any more than necessary, so the rest of their transformation looks like nothing from those two. Their icons flash once and shine brightly. Still glowing, Enzo and AndrAIa put them back on and tap them once. Enzo now has purple skin, black eyes, and bright green hair. AndrAIa has blue skin, and orange eyes and hair. They’ve switched colors. To add to their anonymity, they’re dressed in rather cool black and white matching outfits. Enzo has borrowed one of AndrAIa’s wrist mounted crossbows (what, you thought she only had one? What if it breaks?) so he actually can defend himself.)
Enzo: How do we get them out of there anyway?
AndrAIa: This switch here. (points to a switch that says "trap shut off".
Enzo: (doubtfully) You SURE?
(AndrAIa sighs and pushes it. The glowing net above disappears. Bob sees their silhouettes)
Bob: Who’s there?
Megabyte: Who’s WHERE? (easily jumps out of the pit.)
Bob: There were two people standing there!
Megabyte: (rolling his eyes) Yes Bob, whatever.
Bob: No, really, there were!
Megabyte: Has Hex been letting those nulls suck on your energy for too long? Nice collar by the way.
Bob: (blushes and mutters under his breath) Just wait till I get out of this pit and get my bazooka you-(pauses.) Uh oh. (out loud.) Uh, Megabyte?
Megabyte: Yes?
Bob: Erm...I can’t get out of the pit.
Megabyte: (blinks) Why? It’s only 15 feet deep.
Bob: (rolls HIS eyes) Not all of us can JUMP that far.
Megabyte: Why don’t you use your keytool?
Bob: I left it in Lost Angles.
Megabyte: You WHAT?
Bob: It’s not my fault! Hex made me take it off!
Megabyte: She’s not as dumb as she looks, is she?
Bob: Yeah I noticed. I just hope she doesn’t keep it, that’s all.
Megabyte: Very well. Hack, Slash, help the guardian out, won’t you?
Hack & Slash: Sure thing boss! (They pick Bob up and toss him up.)
Bon: Augh! Ow. Thanks.(he picks up the grenade launcher and the ammo.) Well, I’m outta here. (goes off.)
Megabyte: Thank the User.
Hack: (from the pit) Hey boss!
Slash: What about us?
Megabyte: You two idiots haven’t gotten out yet? Oh just stay there. You have less of a chance of screwing up that way.
Hack and Slash: (happily) Yes boss!
Hack: Let’s play paper, rock, scissors.
Slash: O.K! One, two, three! Rock!
Hack: Rock! Tie! Okay, one, two three!
Slash: Rock!
Hack: Rock. Again! One two-
Slash: -three! Rock!
Hack: Rock! Hey, is there anything that can beat rock?
Slash: Uh...I don’t THINK there is.
Hack: Oh. Okay then, I’ll just use rock and NOTHING can beat me. One, two, three- Rock!
Slash: Hah! Rock!
Megabyte: (shaking his head) It’s amazing the way that can keep them entertained for cycles.
(Suddenly, the two figures leap up onto a tree.)
Figure 1: We’ve come to help Bob, but we see he’s not here! Therefore, we’ll introduce ourselves.
Figure 2: That’s right! We seek only to help Mainframe.
Figure 1: Our identities must remain secret, but for now, we are known as-
Together: (Flare of dramatic music.) THE DISK DRIVE PAIR!
Megabyte: Oh hello Enzo, AndrAIa.
(They nearly fall out of the tree.)
Enzo: How’d you know it was US?
Megabyte: Firstly, there’s only two small sprites in Mainframe, secondly, your voices sound the same, thirdly, the hat and crossbows were a big giveaway, fourthly-
Enzo: Three’s enough, thanks.
AndrAIa: I TOLD you to take off the hat.
Enzo: Actually, it doesn’t come off.
AndrAIa: Um, yes, well then... let us find Bob.
Enzo: Do you ever use contractions?
AndrAIa: No, I usually do not.
Enzo: Whatever. (They leap off.)
Megabyte: We’re all going to be nullified. I just know it.
* * *
(We’re in a dark room, lit only by a computer screen. Mouse is sitting by it, wearing a look of concentration.)
Mouse: Okay, I’ve handled the supercomputer, I can handle this...(she types furiously) Ha! Easy! (We see a logo flash onto the screen. It says" the Computer Government Investigation. (CGI))
Mouse: Cool!
(She clicks on "government cover ups, a to d" and starts printing. This is all going to lead up to a plot, I promise you. Although MUCH later on. Say, part 6. Yes, I said part 6, I have this all planned out. Now you’ll have to read UP to part 6 to get it! I’ll have a loyal audience until then! BWAHAHAHAHA! (That is, if you’ve bothered to read up to HERE anyway.)
* * *
(We’re back at the alleyway. The plot hole couldn’t take that other coincidence of Enzo and AndrAIa being right where Bob and Megabyte were, and has stabilized. A small sprite pops out, and the plot hole becomes unstable again. She brushes herself off. She had pale green skin (even lighter than Enzo’s) VERY short, spiky black hair, and brown almond shaped eyes. She’s in a mainly black with some white outfit.)
Winter: God pound it, where AM I?
(A vid-window pops up. Phong is on it, looking confused.)
Phong: Aha! I *thought* I detected a disturbance in the force.
Winter: Say what?
Phong: Oh nothing, nothing. I meant plot hole. Disturbance in the plot hole. Yes, that’s it.
Winter: Um, whatever.
* * *
(The game cube leaves, and Enzo and AndrAIa go to Dot's dinner, bickering all the way.)
Enzo: Well BOB didn't recognize us!
AndrAIa: That's because he didn't get a good look at us. And anyhow, he was trapped in a pit with Megabyte, I think that he would be concentrating on other things, like making sure he didn't get deleted.
Enzo: I still think we should use the outfits.
AndrAIa: Look, we MIGHT need them later, but let's just drop them for now, okay?
Enzo: (sighing) Oh, okay.
Author: And so ends the first chapter in the story of- The DISK DRIVE PAIR!
Person reading this: Hey, no wait! What about Winter? And Bob? And Dot? And you said you'd tie together that plot thing with Mouse! And this whole series isn't based around the adventures of a rather short lived life of crime fighting for Enzo and AndrAIa! It's a CONTINUOUS parody!
Author: Ha ha! Siked ya out! No really, I wrote more. Just scroll down. See?
Person: (grumbling) I don't know why I even bother reading this...
* * *
(When the cube leaves, Bob is immediately swallowed up by a portal leading to Lost Angles.)
Hexadecimal: Helooo Bob! How did the game go? Oh, and it's time for you to feed Scuzzy again...
Bob: (softly) Kill me User. Please.
Hexadecimal: What did you say Bob?
Bob: Huh? Oh, a ha, a hahaha, nothing... well uh, feeding time, yay.
(A timer rings. Hexadecimal puts on a sad mask.)
Hexadecimal: Oh, how very sad! One second's up! (swaps the sad mask for a happy one and tosses glitch to Bob) Here's glitch! Let's do this again sometime, shall we?
Bob: (thinking: Yeah, when the Web freezes over maybe.)
(Without bothering to wait for a reply, she sends him through a portal to Kits. Bob stands around blinking for a moment then jumps up and down.)
Bob: Woohoo! I'm free! Now I can put this whole stupid thing behind me and-- hey! She left the collar on! And it won't come off!
* * *
Okay, it really ended this time. Part four will tell the tale of Winter, a young sprite trapped in a parallel dimension. Yes, you won't want to miss The Parody With No Name Part Four: Crossover Night in Mainframe!
Credits: Silver Tiger
Script: Silver Tiger
Editing: Silver Tiger
Copyright: Silver Tiger
This has been a Silver Tiger production. The name Silver Tiger is technically not copyrighted in any way, but if you use it I will flame you so much your net server will explode, and you'll be forced to switch to AOL. (Unless you're already on AOL. Your only opinion then is to pray to the Internet Gods for mercy.)