LASER: Hi, everyone! Welcome to the show! Today we've taken the liberty of inviting the cast of ReBoot to be our pannel to answer all of life's troubling questions. Welcome, guys!
DOT: Hey! I thought you said this was a business talk show!
LASER: Well, we needed to get you here.
DOT: This is an unfair vilolation of my rights. I'm leaving.
LASER: Someone tie her up.
*!shuffle!**!scream!**!crash!*
MOUSE: What are you waiting for, Bob? She's tied up...
LASER: Okay, and onto our first caller. Hello, Aladdin. What seems to be the problem?
ALADDIN: Well, I've got this girlfriend...
MOUSE: At least he only has one girlfriend...Bob.
BOB: Huh...?
DOT: Bob has got only one girlfriend.....me!
MOUSE: You? Oh, come on. (Laughs) You're terrible, Dot.
DOT: I'll show you terrible. (struggles)
MOUSE: Honey, you're tied up.
LASER: Aladdin, you were about to tell us about this girlfriend...?
ALADDIN: She's really pretty and really rich, and I think she wants to marry me...but she's kinda giving me mixed signals.
BOB: That sounds familiar.
ALADDIN: Is there some way I can tell whether she likes me or not?
ANDRaiA: Shave off your hair. If she loves you, she'll stay with you.
ALADDIN: But then the fleas will have no where to live!
MOUSE: Cursors and cr....Bob's shaved off his hair!
DOT: Quick, gather up the clippings, we can sell them!
ALADDIN: Hello? Is someone listening?
PHONG: Perhaps Aladdin could try confronting the girl and telling her how he feels...if she doesn't love you, at least you'll know.
BOB: DAM it! Why didn't I do that instead?
MOUSE: Because shaving off your hair is less humiliating than confessing your love to someone like Dot?
ALADDIN: Thanks, I'll try that.
LASER: Okay, that went well. Our next caller goes by that name "Captain Planet".
BOB: Cool name.
CP: I've got this problem.
HEXADECIMAL: Haven't we all. I'm sick of this, let's talk about my problems.
LASER: Sorry, Hex. There is a time limit to our show.
CP: As I was saying, I'm in the saving-the-earth business.
BOB: Terrible, isn't it?
CP: I'm getting a little tired of having to always save everyone. It put a little pressure on me that the survival of the planet rest on my shoulders. Sometimes I'd like to just like to go on a holiday.
MEGABYTE: Then why don't you? (molten evil snicker)
CP: Because millions of innocent people will die!
MEGABYTE: It happens.
ENZO: I'm bored. Can I open a window?
DOT: Certainly not, it's too dangerous.
CP: Arn't you all meant to be solving my problem?
MOUSE: You're a hero, sugar. If you don't want responsiblities, get evil.
HEXADECIMAL: You could be my personal flunky...
MEGABYTE: I object! Being evil is a stressful job...constantly being outwitted...being doomed for failure the rest of your hopeless existance....
BOB: Captain, you're a hero. No matter what you do, you'll always triumph.
CP: Really?
BOB: BS'n'P will not permit good guys to lose....it says so on page 1342 in "10001 Things you can't let the main characters do."
MOUSE: Gimme that. Look, it also says you can't let characters <**!!BEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!**> What a disappointment!
ENZO: Cool! What else does it say?
DOT: Don't let him have the book! We need to shelter him from the evils of the adult world!
MOUSE: Evils? Who let you look after him, then?
CP: Okay, maybe I will take that holiday!
MOUSE: Who's gonna remember that one?
LASER: Megabyte, stop sneaking up on me. I will not let you play with my master keypad and that's final. Anyway, here's Andy.
ANDY: Laser, I think my toys are alive.
HEXADECIMAL: I used to think my toys were alive.
DOT: In your case, Hex, they were. Didn't your parents ever tell you not to play with your victims?
MOUSE: We won't mention what kind of toys Dot plays with.
LASER: How do you mean, Andy?
ANDY: I mean they get up and walk around, and they attacked my last neighbours.
LASER: Sure they do. My ReBoot action figures talk to me, as well.
*silence*
BOB: O..K...She's also got this theory that there's two of her.
MEGABYTE: I'm hungry.
*splash**yell*
LASER: Will everyone concentrate? AndrAIa, get out of the fish tank! Mouse, stop poking Dot.
MOUSE: I was just checking to see if her skin dints when I poke her, sugar.
LASER: Okay, Andy. I can't really help you with this one. You may need to talk to your toys and help this admit that they've been hiding something from you.
*clunk*
LASER: Hey, did everyone watch 'The Nanny' last night? Don't you think it's about time Franny and that Mr. Shefield admitted they love each other? I mean, really, two full seasons...!
BOB: Um..why are you raising an eyebrow at me, Laser?
LASER: Geez. Well, Bob, I was trying to point something out.
HEXADECIMAL: I've got a good idea. Let's spread rumours and see what happens!
LASER: (snigger) What exactely were you thinking of, Hex?
HEXADECIMAL: I don't know...let's see if we can convince the public that I have a daughter.
*alert noise*
BS'nP: I'm sorry. You can't do that. It would give kids all sorts of ideas about s*x.
LASER: Which kid is gonna immediately think "WOW! She's given birth! I want to give birth!"
BS'nP: I'm sorry. It's the law.
MOUSE: Ignore him, Honey. He hasn't been getting much sleep at night.
BOB: None of us have.
LASER: It's that buzzing noise that keeps coming from Dot's appartment.
*silence*
BS'nP: I hope that wasn't a sexual reference.
LASER: Since when did you start monitoring my show?
BS'nP: Since it started coming on the radio at only 10PM. Kids are still awake then.
LASER: Maybe your kids, if they have minds like yous...Anyway, time for another commercial break, and I have reason to believe we may have a couple more guests joining our panel. Back in a second.
*smash*
EMIDECIMAL: Hello everyone...just thought I'd drop by...through the skylight, naturally. Look at the lovely mess I made.
HEXADECIMAL: Emi! How nice of you to visit!
LASER: Oh, god, they know each other. Crash helmets, everyone!
*whisper**snigger**giggle*
EMIDECIMAL: Okay. Hi mom! How are you?
ANDRaiA: She's your mother?!? But I thought--- <*!CLAMP!*>
LASER: I'll be expecting some nasty flames from certain rating agencies in just a moment...
BOB: User help us...she's got crayons!
EMIDECIMAL: (evil grin) Oh, these?
(taking out Bob action figure and using Sooty approuch)
LASER: What's that? You think we should use glitch?
BOB: Ark!! She's gone random!!!
LASER: Which one of me?
EMIDECIMAL: I knew visiting would be a good idea.
*alert noise*
BS'nP: Laser, you're a bad inflence on the public. I'm cancelling your show.
LASER: Get strung. This is public access radio.
BS'nP: I'm melting....melting...
DOT: Bob! Untie me! I'll do anything!
MOUSE: I bet she would, too!
LASER: Glitch! Filelocker!
BOB: Hey!
MOUSE: Glitch! Nail file!
LASER: Glitch! Beer mug!
(glances at Hex)
EMIDECIMAL: Glitch! Hold form!
BOB: Great! What am I gonna use a Beer Mug for?
LASER: To Mug Emi with?
MOUSE: Hah, hah. That's on the sad side, Laze.
*riiiiiinnnnnngggg!!*
LASER: Here's Belldandy.
BELLDANDY: BOB!!!!!!!!!
BOB: Ark! A groupie!
BELLDANDY: I love you!!!
LASER: Shut it! He's mine!
MOUSE: You're both wrong, Bob loves me.
(sniggering)
LASER: Well, that line suddenly went dead...
*Bing*
LASER: And that sounds means we're out of time for tonight. But tune in next week, when we'll be broadcasting from The worlds most famous...Bowling alley? How sad is that?