On #ReBoot, we have our chatters, our lurkers, our philosiphers, and our general weirdos (Try to guess the most common. Go on! Guess!) As a proud member of the latter group, I feel compeled to share just a few of the nutty things I've witnessed. Enjoy! And remember, as the Police said (sorta) "I'll be logging you!"

(Unite!)

* Zen` is constantly bashed for being a male. I'm gonna go cry as I water my flowers and sew my socks now

(We have a winner)

[NateDaMan] Hey Emi, what's up?:
[Emi] Nate: I'm married to a bigamist and a male cow but in love with another man and not even 14 yet, you? :)
* NateDaMan ummmm's at Emi.
[NateDaMan] I had pie this afternoon.

(About Graveheart's VA, Paul Dobson)

[Anna-chan] Paul Dobson does a lot of voices in lots of dubbed anime..
[Anna-chan] He does all the scary ogres in Ogre Slayer! And many others..
[Clearsky] GH acting like Happosai??
[Clearsky] er... no :P
[Al-Snow] **Graveheart runs around and steals Princess Tekla's wires*** "Ooooh what a haul.. what a haul!!"

(Emi looks too deeply into the whole Titanic thing)

* Emi wonders, it was 1:00 in the morning and I couldn't sleep though I was exhausted, and 86 years ago to the day to the hour the Titanic was sinking.
* Verna huggles Emi. "It's alllll over now... no regressing to past lives...."
[Emi] Verna: Past LIFE?
* Emi giggles, I doubt it.
[Verna] Unless you wanna.... that is...
* Emi screams. "I ADMIT IT! I KILLED CAESAR!"
[Emi] *sob*
[CyberCat] Et tu, Brute?
* JerryTCow pats Emi on the shoulder "Uhhh... there there..."
* Emi sobs on Jerry's shoulder, "I know! I know! I didn't MEAN to drop the bomb it just sorta fell out of my hands and all....then next thing I knew Atlantis was gone.."
* JerryTCow looks helplessly around the channel as Emi babbles and cries on his shoulder
[Emi] But...*snif*....the dinosaurs were so CUTE....

(Uh... yeah.)

*** X changes topic to 'Welcome to #ReBoot on New York Undernet. What the hell do YOU want?'

(#ReBoot is a trip-wire minefield :P)

* Pix` streaks through the channel naked
* JerryTCow watches Pix hit his tripwire, and go flying into the pool

(Geri gives the Spice Girls the finger)

* Emi high-fives Zen "WHEEE! One down and four to go!"

(Belldandy, obviously *g*)

* B_Corgan is Billy Corgan.
* B_Corgan is scary.
* B_Corgan has no hair.
* B_Corgan creeps around, looking scary and singing "Ava Adore".
* B_Corgan scares small children away.
* B_Corgan does weird hand gestures.
* B_Corgan pokes at the children and watches them run away screaming.
* B_Corgan gets whacked by various angry and frightened parents.
* B_Corgan makes more weird hand gestures and scares them all away.
* JerryTCow continues to be amused by Billy's antics
* J_Iha eats popcorn and watches Billy's performance
* B_Corgan laughs and shines his head.
* B_Corgan is tired of being evil.
*** B_Corgan is now known as R_Maida
* R_Maida is not evil.
* R_Maida is perfect.

(It's a party in a can)

* Nihambou sips on her jolt.
* JerryTCow Mmmms... "Jookie..."
* JerryTCow opens the can and frowns "Mine's busted..."

(Um... Ow?)

* Mr_Byte stands around, looking like a bug.
* DeciCat drops 17 windows 95 troubleshooting manuals on Meggy.

(This'll only make complete sense to some people. Post-Soap-Opera Night)

[Clearsky] Emi: Legacy..
[Clearsky] Jer: well, in the fic you're married
* Emi whacks Jer with her rolling pin
* JerryTCow is WHACKED "Honest Emi, I had no idea!" *g*
[Emi] You had no idea. You had no idea! I'm leaving you!
[JerryTCow] Emi: Noooooooooo!! Come back!! *Sniff* I love youuuuuuuuu!... wait a second...
* Emi awws..
*** John-Chan (jjnichls@ip220-22.cc.interlog.com) has joined #reboot
* John-Chan wonders in
* Emi runs back to Jer and throws her arms around him. "I'm sorry darling! I'll never leave you!"
[John-Chan] HI PEOPLE!
* Emi looks at G1. "Uh ohhhh...."
* John-Chan looks at Emi
* Clearsky laughs
* Emi looks at G1 and smiles angelically. "Heh..."
[Emi] Um
[JerryTCow] ROTFL! Well THIS could be a problem..
* Emi edges away from Jer.
* John-Chan looks at Emi

(Don't screw with my moose)

* JerryTCow looks at X "Op me, or you're Moosie Chow"

(Zen's audition: Take one)

* Zen` drinks the Sprite and smiles at Dot "I like the Sprite in you"

(There goes my shot at the Oscars)

*** CyberCat has set topic to "Coming soon: James Cameron's latest sure-to-be-a-blockbuster motion picture, Hindenburg. "I'm flying! I'm flying! I'm--" *FOOM*"

(Some people never learn)

[Guardian1] Emi Cute kitty >:D
* EmiKitty eeks!
* Guardian1 Picks Up Emi and Pets Away Contently
* EmiKitty arches her back and hisses, putting out her cute little kitty claws.
[EmiKitty] YOU DON'T CALL ME CUTE!
[Guardian1] Awww look at the Kitty Claws that ARE DIGGING INTO MY ARM THAT REALLY HURT

(Some people just know what I'm gonna do even before me)

Emi stares blankly ahead, stretches her hands out, and murmurs "Poof!"
*** Signoff: JerryTCow ("I'm constantly working with materials that threaten life on a global scale, and, sometimes, they spill..." -Dr. Forrester)
[Emi] How'd I do that?

(Zen's audition: Take two)

* Zen` takes down MRT4K. :)
* Zen` deletes MRT4K altogether.
* Zen` holds up the Menthos and smiles, making everything okie :D

(This explains a lot)

*** Topic is '"Our memory is a short as our warranty."-The owners of the store that sold us X.'

(Don't get it? Don't ask *g*)

* JerryTCow giggles and watches Ryoga get lost "Hehe, didn't see THAT coming!" ^_^
[Haiku] Jer: LOL! "And I'm better built, to boot... *WHAM!*"

(Rules to live by)

[CyberCat] "It's not denial, I'm just very selective about the reality I accept." --Calvin

(I don't have to see the whole logfile to know this guy's on AOL)

[mavericks] ********************everyone in this number sucks cause they look at reboot a strange *BSnP*ing comic show made by mainframe the company who suck the more**************
*** mavericks was kicked by Naveed (Naveed)
* JerryTCow watches idiot-boy land flat on his *BSnP* outside

(*cough*Onetrackmind*cough*)

[Clearsky] oh wow.. this story is amazing...
[Zen`] Is it MST3K worthy? Can I mock it?
* JerryTCow watches as Zen's first thought be not a surprise :)

(Get your Princess Bride answering machine today!)

[Emi] "E'llo. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Leave your name and number, and prepare to die."
* Emi AAAAAAUGHs as the aliens swarm over her and drag her away to the Mirror Worlds "NO I DON'T WANNA GO! okay fine. Are we there yet?"

(o/~ Know when to walk away, and know when to run...)

*** Now talking in #reboot
* Pixel smacks Cat "I AM NOT GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Session Close: Mon Apr 27 16:47:03 1998

(It was a lousy day...)

* JerryTCow giggles insanely "Soooooo, how is everyone else today?!"
[Emi] Jerry: Bored...
[JerryTCow] Emi: Sounds fun!! %D
[Emi] Jerry: Oh boy, has someone lost it today. 0_0
* JerryTCow cocks a shotgun "Anyone else?!"

(No comment)

[Pixel`] SITTING IN A TREE Y*I*F*F*I*N*G
* JerryTCow decides not to reply to that. In fact, he isn't even going to point out how physically awkward such an endeavor would be

(Proof that Servo's got too many of those conspiracy theories on his page)

[Servo] "Who built the pyramids? Was it: Chef? Mr. Garrison?..."
* Servo takes another capsule and calms down..
[Servo] Wait a sec...This isn't Nate at all! It's Baron Von Shleiseing, and his army of flying ninja lizards!
[NateDaMan] aww, geez... you guessed it...

(Deci goes on a catnip high)

* DeciCat^ eats the catnip
* JerryTCow ums, and hits the deck
* DeciCat^ 's eyes widen...
* Clearsky gets a trank gun ready for Deci...
* DeciCat^ gets hyper.
* DeciCat^ buzzes up to Jerry "HiJerryhaveyouseenCat?WellIjustthoughtyoumightaseenherbecauseimlookingforherandhavetotellhersomethingIgottagonowbyejerhaveaniceday!"
* JerryTCow blinks, and never knows deci was there
* Clearsky looks at Jery "Should I trank him now?" :P

(Big, cute... wha...?)

[D^Knight] JerryTCow: What happened to your Sound Of The Whenever?
[Emi] Yeah, Jerry?
[JerryTCow] It's gone :)
[Emi] But why? :<
* Emi gives Jerry big cute virus eyes :<

(It's all Greek to me)

* JerryTCow thinks the "Yappa pa" part loses something in the translation
[Clearsky] er.. what does "Yappa pa" mean, anyway?
[JerryTCow] CLear: I'm not sure. It's the part they don't translate. I think it's just nonsense (perhaps it's Japanese for Mmm-Bop)

(And that's a good thing...)

[CyberCat] If and when Daemon finally makes an appearance on ReBoot...who should provide her voice?
[Emi] Shirley Milliner! :D
[Emi] No.
[Emi] Um.
[Emi] Lessee.
[Emi] KATE WINSLET! :D
[Dan_Wood] Cat: Martha Stewart!
[JerryTCow] Dan: "Now, using only items found around the home, I shall smite you all. And no Bob, that's a GOOD thing!"
* Tora-Chan wonders if she WANTS to know. O_o
[Emi] Tiger: Weird funny yuppie lady, does craft projects devotedly, designs sheets and curtains and stuff, would never let anything clash...uhh..that kinda thing...
[Tora-Chan] Emi: Oh, Scary..

(Ego trip)

[marz_barz] jerry?? jerry the cow?? Sylv talks bout you!
[JerryTCow] marz: Reeeeeeeeealy? *spit into hand, and slicks back hair* And, um, what does she say? ;) (j/k)

(I have no idea, but you must ponder my words!)

*** Haiku` has quit IRC (Virus of the Week: Mike Meyer Virus - Shuts entire networks down in a flash! More powerful than a speeding uart, able to leap over tall simms in a single bound,)

(Where I get my ideas)

[AndrAIa] Reality bites
[JerryTCow] Mental note - Write a screenplay, call it that

(Battle.Net goes down AGAIN)

* JerryTCow politely asks to borrow a mallet from Elektra
* JerryTCow decides to forget the mallet. "Emi, may I borrow the hardware?"
[Emi] Jerry: I loan my hardware out to people who have dire causes. >:(
[Zen`] We do have dire causes.
[JerryTCow] Emi: How about blind malice, and a lust for vengence?
[Emi] Okie!
* Emi hands Jerry her hardware and a welding helmet.
* JerryTCow swipes a hand over his face, and is wearing an evil insane mask "Let's turn this thing around and point it at BATTLE.NET!!" *insane laughter*

(This could make for a cool series...)

* Zen` pulls a switch on the wall, watches the wall and ceiling blast apart, and the closet blast-off into orbit around earth, onto a dog-boned-shaped space ship.
* Zen` grins "La la la"
[MtrxPrml] You die Zen. :)
[Zen`] Primal: No my frablonaiant Shonzzlebop friend. I think not.
[Zen`] See..
[Zen`] I'm gonna send you cheesy midi's.
[Zen`] The worst I can find.. :)
[Zen`] You'll have to listen to the computer melodies until you lose your mind :)

(No wonder it was so hard to find)

*** Topic is 'Meanwhile, in the search for the meaning of life: Hey, X. I found it. It was in the channel pool's filter'

(Now I know why it's called a curse)

* JerryTCow chuckles "My insane Ranma friend sprayed me with water the other day, and then said "Oh... you didn't turn into P-Chan..."
[JerryTCow] That's the last time I leave her alone with a Windex bottle...
* JerryTCow dumps a bucket of water on his head...
[JerryTCow] hmmm... doesn't work in cyberspace either-*squeal*
[JerryTCow] *oink*?...
* Emi 0_0s and :Ds
* JerryTCow blinks his big piggy eyes, and does the pig equivalent of "Ummmm"
[Emi] P-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* Emi runs after Jerry! "KAWAII PIGGYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
* JerryTCow squeals, and runs like hell

(Uhhhh...)

*** SlrMoon is now known as ChibiMoon
* ChibiMoon kills Mistress 9 with her kawaii-ness
[Saturn] NOOO!!!!!
[Saturn] IT'S KAWAII!!! KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Get your mind out of the gutter ^_^)

* Zen` grabs a chainsaw and shoves it up Jers *CENSORED*
[Zen`] Now you've got a chainsaw up your nostril!

(Why none of us will ever appear on a quiz show)

[CyberCat] You know what's really scary?
[Zen`] X in the morning.
[MtrxPrml] Roseanne Arnold naked!
[Zen`] Sunny D

(Meanwhile, on "As The Channel Turns")

[Zen`] Jerry!
[Zen`] Don't gooo!
[Zen`] I.. I love you!
[Zen`] No wait..
[Zen`] Nevermind *g*
* Clearsky thwaps Zen
* JerryTCow looks at Zen with big anime eyes "I LOVE YOU TOO!" and hugs him
* JerryTCow BAWLS dramatically
* Dot` AUGHS!!
* DeciCat- o_O's
* Zen` didn't quite expect THAT..

(Bought to you by the SPCA)

*** Topic is "Way to torture Emi 14532:Hide her rolling pin after posting the location of #reboot in alt.newbies :)"

(On the next NOVA...)

* Dan_Wood waves to Primal
* MtrxPrml waves back.
[Sky`] oh my.. DAN DID SOMETHING!!!!
[SDiablo] GASP!
* Sky` grabs at her chest in shock
[D^Knight] Wow.
[Sky`] Dan *spoke*!!!
[DeciCat] Dan talked? Is he sick?
* Sky` is already planning her next documentary: "Dan_Wood: the elusive Dan-o"

(Oh, come on! It isn't hard!... Er... difficult...)

* D^Knight gives up.
[D^Knight] Let's face it, I'm NO GOOD at hentai fics.

(Get some sleep, Sky...)

* Clearsky giggles at the topic
* Clearsky giggles at the paint on the wall
[MtrxPrml] What funny about paint?
* Clearsky giggles at the dust bunnies
[MtrxPrml] Uh-oh. We're losing her.
* Clearsky falls over, and a white van parks outside and the nice men in white coats come and take her away to teh funny farm...
* Clearsky looks at Zen and grins "BAGEL!!!"
[D^Knight] Has ANYBODY been giving Clear sugar?

(*Nervous laughter* Riiiiight...)

* Tora-chan thinks Godzilla is so kawaii.

(Someone must've asked Zen to say the first thing that popped into his head)

[Zen`] PIZZA HOUSE NERF TRUMAN MAIRI KILL MUST UP PIZZA HEAD LOSER TYPE FORE NINE CAT WOW POOP SHALENE GO HOLE DOWN MUST RUN ESCAPE CHAOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* Zen` runs out screaming
*** Zen` has quit IRC

(I don't get it, but I assume it's funny)

[Emi] Birds. Nature's car alarms. :P

(Meggy's dating tips)

* Clearsky looks at Tiger and grins. "Teen Meggy!"
* JerryTCow thinks Meggy woulda been a great college football player..
* Tora-chan :D's.
* Dan_Wood thinks Teen Meggy would be great on a date.
[JerryTCow] Let me get the door for you... *RRRRRRIP*
* Tora-chan would like Teen Meggy on a date, yes please? Thankyouverymuch.
[JerryTCow] I would have brought flowers, but I couldn't find any that didn't glow...

(Drives me NUTS... *g*)

*** Elektra has quit IRC ("Shampoo love boy-type Ranma... maybe pervert girl like only girl-type Ranma? Tell truth now!" - Shampoo in RANMA 1/2)
[JerryTCow] *Mocking voice* "Shampoo love boy-type Ranma. Shampoo take Ranma on date! Shampoo talk in high-pitched squeely voice, and in third-person singular! Tee-hee!"

(Nicely put)

*** Tora-chan has quit IRC (Life is like a rose, you gotta watch out for all the pricks.)

(Write your own ending)

* Tora-chan pushes a container of core energy around with her nose.
* Tora-chan runs after the container and bats at it!
[JerryTCow] umm
[JerryTCow] You think you should... do that?
* Tora-chan jumps on the container.
* Tora-chan eeks as it keeps going!
* Tora-chan feet dance on the container, trying to keep from falling off as it rolls across the channel.
* Tora-chan sees a field of land mines suddenly pop up from the floor in front of her.
[Tora-chan] What a coincidence!
* Tora-chan rolls the energy towards the mine field at full speed!

(o_O)

* CyberCat giggles as she imagines a scene where Frisket encounters Claurus the Dogcow. Moof! :)

(Pixel finally snaps)

* Baby-Tora mews in a high pitched kitty voice, dripping with innocence.
* Gunbuster picks up tiger-kitty and swings a mousey on a string in front of her
* Baby-Tora sits on her little bum and looks around.
* Baby-Tora bats feebily at the mouse, "Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeww.."
[Pixel] ACK!!!!!
* Pixel runs from the over-Kawaiiness.....
* Pixel gets out her portable atomic warhead and aims it at the over-kawaii kitty "MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!!"

(Oh dear...)

[Sky] There's more than one way to skin a cat:
[Sky] Way number 15 -- Krazy Glue and a toothbrush.

(How to scare the whole channel (tm) part... ugh, I've lost count)

* Gunbuster points to his pants "Poketto-ni futon-ga hait-teru!!! MUHAHA!!"
* JenLives umms
[Zen`] Uhhh
[Gunbuster] well...I do
* Zen` takes a step back
* Gunbuster pulls it out *FARUMP!*
* D^Knight takes several steps back.
* Zen` doesn't even WANT to know
* Gunbuster sits on it
[Gunbuster] jeesh, I said I had a futon in my pocket =PPP

(The Truman Show: Live from #ReBoot)

* Zen` holds up a bottle of water, chugs at it, and smiles at the camera "Aaaaaaaa. Water. It'll flush you away"
* JerryTCow looks at Zen, and becomes paranoid
* Zen` smiles nicely at Jer, and the little black button on his shirt whirrs a bit
* JerryTCow SCREAMS and runs away, but is knocked out cold when he slams headlong into the sky

(Natch...)

[JerryTCow] And AGAIN this silly "random misting" thing takes me to a SM lemon..
* JerryTCow clicks "Random non-Sailor Moon XXX MiSTing" and sees "No matches for this criteria"

(More than a few weird things here)

[CyberCat] Why is a raven like a writing desk?
* DeciCat_ doesnt know
[Clearsky] hmmm? i have no idea...
* Clearsky smells a bad joke.. *g*
* CyberCat grins insanely
* CyberCat disappears, very slowly, starting from the tip of the tail, until only her grin is left behind, which lingers for a long time after the rest is gone
* JerryTCow ums, and falls into an "old movie" trance
* DeciCat_ watches Cat get sucked into a vortex?
* CyberCat reappears and whacks Deci
[CyberCat] Does the name 'Lewis Caroll' ring a bell?
[DeciCat_] Nope.
[CyberCat] Deci: Haven't you ever read "Alice in Wonderland"?
* JerryTCow orders his guards that Cat is to reveal the answer to her riddle, or... well.. off with her head, eh? Ya hoser?
* CyberCat looks innocent, "What riddle?"
* Tora-chan glues lotsa roses to Jerry, "The.. Queen.. of... What's she the queen of again?"
[CyberCat] And once again, Jerry is in drag. *G*

(More like: Things Mainframe Entertainment has Nightmares About) *** Topic is 'Things You Won't See In Season 4 #238: Andraia fills a vacancy in a British pop group and changes her name to "Fishy Spice."'
(Can't say I'm surprised)

*** X changes topic to '[X] I do what the little voices tell me. [W] I just argue with them'

(CyberCat's wonderful brother visits)

[dum-bass] Goodbye, and Jerry, May your calves have gimpy legs.
[Dot`] LOL
[JerryTCow] Oh yeah!? Well... Shut up!
[CyberCat] My brother. Charming fellow, isn't he?
* JerryTCow waves his fist
[Dot`] Down Jer
[JerryTCow] And cut your hair!
* JerryTCow continues to wave his fist for a few minutes, until he is distracted by something shiney

(Excerpt from a sure-to-be instant classic)

[Sky] Bob was working on his car again. Laying on the floor tinkering with the stuff under the hood, Bob was amazed by how easy it was to fiddle with a car. It was still running, and look how many credits he'd saved by not taking it to a mechanic... and everyone had thought it would take a professional to fix that bent door handle!

(I don't want to know)

[Tora-chan] My computer is farting.

Well, that just about wraps things up. I don't think we missed anyone but... hey... Where's Snake? Has anyone seen Snake?

* SnakeBGon is back from: Unconsious in a puddle of my own drool. Away for: 1day 1hr 22mins 13secs

Yeeeeeah... o_O