An invitation to Warren Hagey

The July 12th edition of Imprint contained a letter entitled "Yes, I am a homophobe" by Warren Hagey. Many of my friends (both straight and gay) and I were rather distressed by the views on homosexuality that were presented within. For the most part, this letter is chock full of stereotypes and contrived arguments that have been propagated by ignorance and malice over the past several decades. The truth is, however, these stereotypes are just that: stereotypes, often invented and broad-based applied to a group of people who truly deserve no persecution.

These perpetual vilifications are what I, as a gay man, must face every day. It is unfortunate that they have become "standard fare," repeated continually by those who are not willing to understand, or to accept. Close-minded, they remain afraid to open their hearts and their minds to all sides and all peoples (or so it seems), and to consider life from the other's point of view.

I wish to stay away from the religious views as much as possible, as I prefer to leave those to the experts. However, I would like to mention one thing. Mr. Hagey states that the Bible is "the source of ultimate truth." If so, then please tell me what we are to make of passages such as Genesis 3:16 which states "Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and they conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and they desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." Are we then to go back to the days of male domination of women? Are we then to accept rape and wife battery? Somehow, I do not think so.

Simultaneously with that blanket statement, Mr. Hagey has also managed to successfully invalidate all other religions in the world today. (And, I suppose, he means to annul all other flavours of Christianity as well.)

The example cited for showing "the lunacy of letting people do whatever they want in their own homes" is absolute lunacy in itself. How can two loving adults expressing their affection for each other be compared to one agreeing to kill the other? One deals with love, the other with the termination of life (and of love). How can they possibly be equated with each other?

I am really unsure of what to make of Mr. Hagey's statement "overlooking the fact that homosexuals don't confine their activities to their own home." I would like to ask just what activities are being referred to here? As a class, homosexuals don't even have the simple luxury to peacefully hold hands in public much less show any kind of caring or affection for their partners, without the fear of some hateful soul attacking them outright. Or is Mr Hagey just against public affection altogether? In this case, then, this has nothing to do with homosexuality... especially given the flair for heterosexuals to "not confine their activities to their own home."

If he is referring to the recent Pride Day activities, and some "blatant not-home-confining" actions, I invite him to attend some day. The media blitz that surrounds the event does not do it any justice, much as the media fails to do all too often. It is the "shock value" of the event that they crave, the ever-present focus on ratings over journalistic honesty (remember the OJ Simpson case?). This, unfortunately, does nothing but help to perpetuate the stereotypes, for not all realize that one does not equate to all.

Furthermore, it is beyond me how the argument that homosexuals are together only for sex ever began, and is believed by Mr. Hagey. At least, that's what the comment "it is important to separate the person from the action" implies. There is, of course, little that one can objectively say here, as love is a subjective emotion, but I can certainly provide myself as an example. I have been in a relationship for the last four months (much of it long-distance) and sex has certainly never been an over- riding force in our relationship, nor was it the basis of its foundation. We are together for all the same reasons any heterosexual couple would be together: we love each other very much, enjoy each other's company and believe we have a chance at making a good, happy, loving, and productive life together. Granted, four months is not a long time as relationships go, but I know homosexual couples who have been together for 20 years and more, much longer than a great many heterosexual marriages. If all we were interested in was "satisfying our own selfish desires," why would we enter into relationships, dealing with the same problems all relationships go through? Tell me, in your view, is it selfish to love?

(This, of course, mentions nothing about the illustrious promiscuity of heterosexuals. Spring Break at Daytona Beach. Need I say more?)

Homosexuality is, and always has been, about more than just sex. It is a great deal more than just an "action." It is impossible to hate homosexuality, and yet have nothing against homosexuals. Once again, the absurd example of murder was cited here, and again I question the motives of this preposterous analogy. I ask you this: why are you afraid of homosexuality? Why are you afraid of its "effects" on society? Just what are its supposed effects on society to begin with? This last question is the one I am most interested in. Just what is it that you see homosexuality doing to society, to dismantle the community, that makes you so afraid of it? I know the stereotypes and the myths. I'm looking for something more substantial and objective to back these accusations. And extreme cases do not classify as evidence, as any class, culture of society has their own extreme cases. (Ask me, and I shall make a case of how horrible it is for students to get good grades, as it causes them nothing but anguish and often drives them to commit suicide.)

It is apparent in this letter that Mr. Hagey considers homosexuality a choice. Given that homosexuals are the target of more hate crimes than any other group, face intolerance and are present in all societies yet accepted in few, I as WHY in the world would I chose to be gay? To make such a choice puts me in great risk of discrimination and prejudice from many sources, gains me the fear from others that I am out to "recruit their children," the risk of bodily harm or even death, and, depending where I live, a chance that should such harm come to me, the police see me "asking for it?" Why would I chose to live that way? Additionally, I ask you, Mr. Hagey, do you remember the day you made your choice to be heterosexual? The day you decided for good that "maybe I'll like girls instead of boys." Oh come on now, you must remember, after all, according to you we have all made this choice....

I read something one that is all too true: "Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold." If more people understood and lived with this simple passage as a guide, I believe the world would be a much more peaceful and satisfying place.

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