I decided, this morning, that it was time to watch The Lion King again. Well, this was different. It was the first time I watched it since I joined NA in November, 1998. And more importantly, the first time I watched it since I admitted to myself that I loved NALA. I fell asleep almost immediatly after it ended. They say dreams are weird when you are under the weather, and although I don't share most dreams, I think I just might share this one before I forget it all. I saw her eyes, looking right into me. She gave the slightest hint of a smile. I was getting weaker. I felt like I was shrinking. I was getting smaller. No! No! "I'm barely big enough for NALA the way it is!" I thought to myself. I felt Smaller, smaller, smaller, smaller, smaller. It seemedlike I was being pulled into her eyes. And then I fell into them. I was falling, falling, still falling. I fell into her trap, exept for me it wasen't really a trap, and I wasen't being drawn  in against my own will. I wanted to take the fall. I felt like I was plummeting into NALA's soul. Minuets went by. Time continued marching. I finally landed in a light-golden grass, painless. This didn't feel like grass, it felt like NALA's fur. Had I landed in her soul? Ther was a warm feeling. Not a type of warm that would make you sweat, but a cozy warm. Kind of like going into your heated house on a subzero day. I could feel NALA's presence. I coulden't see or hear her, but I could feel her on all sides of me. I felt almost jealous. "What's so great about Simba?" or "Why can't NALA love me?" I thought. No, it felt imossible to get angry, NALA was everywhere. It was a very fuzzy feeling. She sure was making me tired. I felt like just
falling onto that fur that I was walking on. I looked for a comfortable spot, but then I
realized that every spot was comfortable. So I just sat down. I felt so tired. I could still feel NALA all around me, I knew nothing could do me harm. So I went to sleep, just went to sleep.

Thank you for listening.
2-1-99