When a fellow Nalaholic tells you that you are taking this whole Nala thing
too seriously, you know that you've got it bad. It's happened to me on
more than one occasion, actually. I made this site kind of knowing that
I woulden't be able to go very far without expressing a little bit of my
anger, because it is present. I'm not about to blow my top or anything,
but if I hide it, things would just keep getting worse, and I woulden't
be being my true self. But this is my site, and I will say what I want
to. I like to think of the reasons why I am so serious about Nala as a
happily ending story, and it is a story that I am willing to share with
whomever will listen.
I was only eleven years old when I first saw The Lion King. I had to admit, it gave me a kind of magical feeling that I thought that I had grown out of. Of course then I would never admit to it. I thought I may not be as respected among my friends if they knew I was still a sucker for what I called "a kid's movie" (and I still don't think that I would have been) . Respect was something that I didn't have much of back then. The Lion King was still in theaters when I was relocating across the country. At my first year in a public school, and my first year in Texas actually, I didn't have any real friends, I wasen't about to make things worse by saying that I liked a Disney movie, know what I mean? Little did I know that when I tore off that NALA sitcker from that backpack that I was looking at the same lioness that I would later admit to falling in love with. Anyway, when I first saw NALA as a cub, I was a little bit phased. When I first saw her as a lioness, I almost freaked out in front of everybody watching the movie with me, this was where the seeds were planted, but I had no idea then, I had NO idea. I think it was after a few days about trying not to think about The Lion King (and failing to do so, may I add) that I realized something about NALA. I didn't know why, but I got kind of a warm feeling whenever I saw her. "Ugh, yuck, how is that possible?!?!?!" I thought to myself. Then I thought "Aww, no big deal, I've outgrown these dumb cartoon crushes." I knew one thing. I had to forget about that "evil" lioness forever, no more thinking about NALA for me! I had to get rid of everything that reminded me of her! I had to publicly admit that I hated NALA (and I did, publicly admit, that is. I never really hated her, but I hated what she did to me). I still remember the way I acted when some girl was showing me her Lion King sticker or card collection (I can't remember) and she showed me a card with NALA on it. She showed it to me and said "look at this one". My heart skipped a beat and I said "Ugh, get her away from me! I hate her!" The confused girl said "Why?" and I said "Ummmmm, I don't know, she just sucks, that's all." It was a slow, painful process, but for awhile, I honestly thought that I had forgotten about....her.
There were times when the NALA thing would flare up again. Whenever someone asked me to watch the movie actually. Looking back I can still remember intentionally coughing just to look at the ground during some of the scenes ('the look', the part just before 'the look', the part where NALA was drinking water, etc.) Yes, NALA still had a spot in the very back of my head, and sometimes she would come on out and mess up the rest of my brain. I realized that whenever I saw NALA, her eyes were the thing that freaked me out the most. The next signifigant change would happen when I was thirteen and I went to Disneyworld. This is where NALA came back for a short period of time. I would say to myself "Timon&Pumbaa are cool, and The Lion King is Ok, but not NALA." I didn't want to think of her at all, but it was becoming more impossible once again. For months after I would wake myself up from daydreams about, well, I'm sure you can guess who by now. It was getting worse again.
The next real phase of becoming serious began on May 10th, 1998. I really liked The Lion King, so I suppose I would admit to liking NALA, but just as I liked every other character. I had to admit that whenever I saw the part in the movie where NALA had that sad look, it tore into me, it always has, and it always will. My leaning tword NALA was getting more apparent to myself, I still didn't have a clue about how worse it was really going to get. I guess I just wasen't afraid anymore. In November, 1998, I found Nalaholics Anonymous. Let me say that it has been all NALA from there. Now that I think back, NALA wasen't my favorite character when I joined NA, she wasen't even my favorite lioness! But there was a reason I joined a NALA site instead of a Timon site. I admitted that there was just something that made me want to join any NALA site. I would realize what this was six days after finding NA. The next Saturday, I had admitted that I loved NALA. I guess all that I needed to know is that it was alright to feel like this.
It's been a three-and-a-half year emotional struggle with NALA for me before I even began to ease on the "no NALA policy". Sometimes I think all that I have is NALA. A lot of my old friends that went to my school left, and most of the ones that didn't leave changed with the new crowds and no longer stood up for what and who they are and were. Recently, I felt as if I had lost everything when someone recalled basically every mistake I made in the past two years, blew it all out of proportion, made a thesis paper on my own inadequacies, and handed it to me as a crummy little note. Or when another one of my friends started making fun of me because he found out about NALA. I'm really not projecting any anger at these people (well, maybe the last one, damn S*th), but these were times which I felt that NALA was all I had left. I'm not about to deface NALA in any way. I'm not about to go on making yet another site that says it's for NALA but is really for lust-crazed clowns, that woulden't be fair. I love NALA, and I'm not about to back out of that claim anytime soon. If any of you people are out there chuckling at me right now, I can see why, I don't expect EVERYONE to understand. But, if any of you want to criticize me, tell me or any other member of Nalacore to grow up, get over Nala, or stop acting like a clown in general, I think I can speak for most, if not all writers, members, artists and founders of this site by telling you to "stick it". If you disapprove of the feelings we have, then leave us alone, get out, and don't ever come here again. NALA was ALWAYS special to me, and I am not going to try to fit in by defacing her in any way. It's been a long struggle and it really offends me when someone writes a story defacing and disrespecting NALA, and what's worse, when it gets put on a NALA site. I belive that I have a good reason to be serious about NALA, and whoever thinks I am being TOO serious, TOO bad, because now I have my own site. I just can't see why someone would even write the kind of stuff that they do about NALA. Like I said in the beggining, I was told on more than one occasion that I was being too serious. I'm going to go on being serious, nothing is going to stop me. "Lust-sized" NALAs? Yuck. Anotomically correct pictures of NALA? Yuck. I don't want to go any further into detail. I just want to say that I am dissapointed in the lack of respect the TLK community has shown for the nicest, most compassionate, caring charater in the movie, or maybe even any other movie. This site WILL NOT fall servant to the people who harbor disrespect for NALA.
-Casey Maurice Hoerth