Simba sat on Pride Rock, thinking to himself. Valentines day was just around the corner, and he still hadn't got Nala a present.
"Hey Simba! Watcha doin' out here all by yourself?"
"Oh! Hey Timon, I'm just thinking about what to get Nala for Valentines Day."
Timon smiled. "How about chocolate covered bug mix?"
Simba sighed. "That's what I got her for her birthday."
Timon scratched his head. "Ooooh you are a tough customer."
"I want to show I love her…it's our first Valentines Day together, and I want it to be very special."
"How about a single red rose?" Timon asked.
Simba frowned. "That's not much?"
"It's the thought that counts!" Timon replied.
"Exactly…a single red rose isn't much. What would Nala think?"
"Well try this valentines catalogue…everything for the female in your life."
Simba lifted the thick catalogue and flicked through. "Oooh, she'll love this!"
"A box of chocolate bugs."
"That sounds familiar," Timon answered.
Simba continued flicking through the catalogue. "Oooh and this…a large bunch of jungle flowers."
Timon stared hopelessly as Simba continued flicking through the brochure. "Oooh a jungle holiday for two, a large card, an aphrodisiac guaranteed to make you lover drop at you paws, hooves, etc and this wonderful diamond eternity ring."
"Err Simba…can you afford all of that?" Timon asked.
Simba flashed his credit card. "With what I earned from the Disney contract I could buy all this and have money left over for a Jacuzzi…ooh that's a good idea, a Jacuzzi."
"Hey do you want to use my cell phone?" Timon asked.
"A cell phone…wonderful idea, I could keep in touch where ever we were."
Simba grabbed the phone. "Hello. King Simba here"
"Can I help you, Your Majesty?"
"I'd like to place an order."
"Two boxes of chocolate bugs, the biggest bunch of jungle flowers you have, the jungle holiday for two staying in the honeymoon suite, the aphrodisiac box, the diamond eternity ring, the largest Jacuzzi you have, the largest cute card you have, and the best cell phone on the market."
"Anything else sir?"
Simba grabbed the catalogue. "Err…I don't think so"
"That's one hundred and six thousand pound and fifty two pence…how would you like to pay?"
"Credit card," Simba replied, and gave his card number.
"Thank you sir…could I have your address and the date you'd like it to be delivered?"
"Pride Rock, The Pridelands, Serengeti National Park, Tanzania, Africa"
"And the date?"
"Thank you sir we'll get on to it immediately!"
Timon looked at Simba. "Are you sure you didn't miss anything?"
Nala approached from behind. "Miss what?"
Simba nuzzled his mate. "Nothing"
"I was thinking about valentines day…I don't care what I get…even if it's a single red rose, as long as I spend Valentines Day with you." Nala smiled and kissed her mate.
Simba's face dropped. "Yea…sure."
"You know I was thinking…well I'll keep it as a surprise."
As Nala walked off Timon dropped to his paws. "Very smooth Casanova…very smooth!"
"Timon…Nala will love it!"
Valentines day came quickly, and the pride was awoken by the sound of two helicopters.
"Oh, it's arrived." Simba smiled to himself.
"What has?" Nala asked.
"It doesn't matter, get some sleep."
Simba walked to the middle of the Pridelands, where a large box and four smaller boxes lie waiting, "King Simba?"
"Sign here", Simba dipped his claw into the ink and signed his name.
"That will be fifty pound."
"That's what it costs parcel force to deliver out here."
Simba reached into his mane. "Do you take credit cards?"
"No. Do you have cash?"
Simba shoved a bundle of notes into the guy's hand. "Keep the change."
As the helicopters took off, Simba unwrapped the packaging of the gifts. The chocolates were melted, the cell phone was smashed, the Jacuzzi was in several pieces, and resembles a pile of bricks, the flowers were dead, the holiday was cancelled, the aphrodisiac was smashed, the diamond eternity ring was six sizes too small, and the cute card was shredded into pieces.
Simba broke down and started to cry. "Why…why did I choose parcel force?"
Nala approached her mate. "Hey why are you crying?"
"Look at all these gifts I brought for you…they're all ruined."
Nala kissed him on his cheek. "Hey you didn't have to do this for me…how much did this all cost?"
"One hundred and six thousand pound and fifty two pence."
Nala frowned. "I don't think you deserve my present!"
Simba looked at her sadly. "I hate Valentines Day…keep the present yourself."
Nala smiled. "I was thinking we could re-take our wedding vows?"
"Really? You want to do that? With me?"
Nala smiled, "I've got another present for you…"
"What is it?" Simba asked inquisitively.
Nala leaned forward and whispered into his ear, "I'm with cub!"
Simba smiled and hugged her.
"Come on, let's get home" Nala smiled.
"Nala…wait…I got you something in case something went wrong." Simba reached behind him, and produced a single red rose, "Happy Valentines day, my love."
Nala smiled, "Thank you sweet heart!"