i was in arizona for two months and on the drive home cried uncontrollably, non-stop. i had decided to leave a loved one, i had fallen in love with someone else and had to leave that soul, too. i had forged and strengthened friendships. i had become closer to my work.

with me on that drive home was stadium arcadium.

in the following months i made decisions about myself and my life that changed where i was and where i was going. my views on the importance of friendship, the rules of sex, the ins and the outs of love, all solidified or changed. i broke a heart, broke my own heart, and had my heart broken twice again. i emraced my companions and tried to see them and praise them for what they were worth to me. i learned to start being happy with who i am, and not how i'm wanted by others.

never before have songs like "tell me baby" and "hard to concentrate" completely and all-encompassingly personified what i felt--what it felt to come together like everyone i met and knew in arizona did, and what it felt like to think that you would never ever see people that you love ever again.

this on-going series is not finished. it is my expression of what it means to me. it is cathartic and has helped me keep my head up and above water.

kiedis, flea, john, chad. thank you

--Monica