Subject: Prideland's Nail Salon Date: Mon, 13 Apr 1998 22:15:08 -0500 From: Rindimo Reply-To: TLK-L@lionking.org Organization: L.O.S.T.-- C.A.U.S.E To: tlk-l@lionking.org This one popped (pooped?) into my head a couple of days ago... and only tonight was I able to finally type it. Gee, I hope you all can forgive me. =) Lady Nefertiri's Nail Salon By: Rindimo "--But this time, "Daddy" isn't here to save you, and now everyone knOWS WHY!!" Scar accused, as Simba backs towards the edge of the summit of Pride Rock, and loses his footing. With relish, Scar digs his claws adamantly into the flesh of Simba's forepaws. The sensation of his claws slowly sinking into muscle, and even hitting the metatarsals (bones relating to the hand) was pure pleasure for him. The shrieks of utter pain coming from Simba's muzzle made it all the more enjoyable! Too bad, it will have to end so-- "Wow! Are those things SHARP!" Simba exclaims, "Uncle Scar, since when did your claws become so well groomed, and sharp? I remember when I was a cub, you'd try to sharpen them on everything, but to no avail. What happenned?" "Well, Simba, let me tell you my little secret. Four words: Lady Nefertiri's Nail Salon." "Who?" "Lady Nefertiri-- a hyena who is a fully trained and certified professional manicurist. Simply the best." "A manicurist?! Hah! Who needs one!" "Maybe you do, and maybe you don't. But take a look at your claws. Haven't they lost their shine and luster tramping about in the jungle?" "Yeah, well.." "And what about their sharpness? Can they stand up to the rigors of combat like they used to?" "Well....no..." "Then you need the expertise of Lady Nefertiri at your finger-- er, claw tips! C'mon, I'll take you there right now!" "But it's late!" "Nonsense, Lady Nefertiri's Nail Salon is open 24 hours a day! After all, you never know when you're going to break a nail." "Wow!, I gotta hand it to you, Uncle Scar, Lady Nefertiri did an awesome job!" "Didn't I tell you? She's the best!" "I can't believe I was able to live without Lee Press-on Nails! That Lady Nefertiri is awesome! She even got rid of that nasty Toenail Fungus that's been bothering me for months!" "And the best part of all is the deal she's offering! If you suscribe to a monthly membership fee, the first month's free!" "What? Every month?" "No, if you really want to maintain that shine, and sharpness, you must go at least once a week." "Oh, I see! WEll, I'm going to sign up right away! As soon as I get some bandages for these cuts in my paws..." "Oh, that reminds me," Scar nonchalantly observed, "Where were we?" "That's Lady Nefertiri's Nail Salon! On the corner of Wildebeest Street, and Elephant Boulevard, right next to the water hole. You can't miss IT!" The End No lions were killed in this comercial. However, one died on his way to the emergency room... or did he? Well, that's enough for now. We really must order some more barf bags for these sorta things. =) The Cheetah who goes to Lady Nefertiri's Nail Salon, -Rindimo --  The Tiger is made to kill and hunt, The Lion too, but more towards fight. The Leopards and Jaguars were made to climb, And Cheetahs made for earthly flight. But there is one creature of forgotten lore: Shrouded in mystery, be that it's trade, Of other virtues, it has all four- Respect the Puma, and what God made. -Rindimo E-mail Address: Rindimo@bellsouth.net *If you can read this, then I am still an eligible bachelor!*  Founder (and only member) of: The L.O.S.T.- C.A.U.S.E. (League Of Simplistic Technology- Causing All Unforseen Solutions Evident) K.I.S.S.: Keep It Simple, Stupid. (Long neglected scientific principle)