Subject: Cheetah Vs. Win95 (off topic) Date: Tue, 27 Jan 1998 21:48:29 -0800 From: Rindimo Reply-To: TLK-L@lionking.org Organization: L.O.S.T.-- C.A.U.S.E To: tlk-l@lionking.org Bill Gates is sitting behind a desk in a office merrily typing away on the most expensive computer available to such a rich man. He smiles as the Windows logo appears on his screen, and quickly presses the secret key combination to see the picture of his favorite horse that he secretly had programmed into the software. He clicks at a special button designed for just his computer alone- a button that shows how widely the Gates empire is growing. "Soon," he chanted, "Soon, I will rule it all! I will control every single thing that deals with a transistor! It will all be mine! Then... THe world! and then... Everyone's souls!!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!" All of a sudden, the little intercom buzzes on his desk, and a shaken voice meekly calls out: "Uh, sir? There's uh, someone who w-would like to see you..." "Tell him I'm busy!" "But sir! he won't leave until he talks to you." "Well, have the guards escort him away! I'm trying to plot out stuff, for goodness' sake!" "I-I... I can't." "WHAT? Why not?!!" "B-because, uh, him and a friend ate them... uh..." Sudddenly, the door slams to the ground, as a cheetah and a lion walk into the office, growling- with a hint of red on their muzzles. "Thanks for the help, Simba. I think I can handle it from here. Save me a cold one back at Pride Rock for me, okay?" "Sure thing! Any time Rindimo! I'll do anything for a Lion King Fan!" With the lion gone, overly rich CEO peers over his desk to see quite an irate cheetah staring back at him. "Do you know how hard it is to figure out all the stuff you changed on yer Windows 95?!! I've spent HOURS just trying to get all my lovely settings back, and trying to reinstall drivers that shoulda been there in the first place! You and your dumb products! Why can't everything just work in win3.x?" " But didn't you find something just alittle good?" "Well... Yeah. But that's besides the point! I loved pushing buttons, and now you OVERsimplified everything! And it takes alot longer for my system to load up, now, and it took me and three computer whizzes just to figure out how to have it where just the c prompt comes on- just the way I like it!" " AND?" "Yeah, I like netscape better than your internet browser, too." " THAT TEARS IT!!!!" And with that, Billy boy jumps from behind his desk an lunges towards the cheetah. He yells out his frustration, as the cheetah's swift reflexes causes a successful dodge. The two circle eachother grimmacing and growling- trying to look for a weakness in the other's defense. Seeing this was going nowhere, Rindimo decides to make Bill take the first step. With a devilish grin, he cackles, "You're not the sharpest thing in the tool shed, Billy-boy!" "How dare you slander me with back-woods insults!" Bill screamed in rage, as he once again charged towards the cat. In classic lion-king fashion, of course, Bill is hurled by the "Simba Manuver" right out his office window. He plummets off a gargoyle and a flag pole, until he hits ground floor- landing right in front of a large croud. He slowly gets up to see janet reno, other cheif justices, and every representative of every other computer related company. "Ahhh, my friends!" "Friends?! Friends?! I thought he said he wanted to own all of our souls!" "Yeah, that's what I heard... what do you think-" Out of nowhere a hyena laughs crazily, and mysteriously dissapears. everyone shrugs. "Let's Get 'im!" The End :) Admit it, sometimes it's a pain in the hindquarters, isn't it? Feeling much better, -Rindimo --  The Tiger is made to kill and hunt, The Lion too, but more towards fight. The Leopards and Jaguars were made to climb, And Cheetahs made for earthly flight. But there is one creature of forgotten lore: Shrouded in mystery, be that it's trade, Of other virtues, it has all four- Respect the Puma, and what God made. -Rindimo E-mail Address: Rindimo@bellsouth.net *If you can read this, then I am still an eligible bachelor!*  Founder (and only member) of: The L.O.S.T.- C.A.U.S.E. (League Of Simplistic Technology- Causing All Unforseen Solutions Evident) K.I.S.S.: Keep It Simple, Stupid. (Long neglected scientific principle)