Subject: The Savanna Steak House (off topic) Date: Mon, 02 Feb 1998 01:31:06 -0800 From: Rindimo Reply-To: TLK-L@lionking.org Organization: L.O.S.T.-- C.A.U.S.E To: tlk-l@lionking.org Hello, all! After reading snowcat's hillarious little furry stories, I couldn't help but follow in his foot steps. =) But for those to fully enjoy this one of mine, we must first have some background: I work at a family steakhouse/buffet called Golden Corral (Gold Corr at night- due to falty neon sign... Hey! I wanna join the Gold Corr!). When you first start there, you are under "apprenticeship" before you become a certified server to the people. A "crew leader" works with you, and teaches you what you need to know besides the 9 steps of serving. You first start out with just four dinky tables in the "ghost section" of the restaurant. After seriving a year there, and talking to older than myself veterans... wwe owe much of our earnings to you wonderful canadians. yes, you are very nice, and tip rather generously, as opposed to the rest of the floridians. Well, there was this gay man- no, no. let's not go there. %=p Anyway, don't get all riled up with the description of the customers in this story- they are the typical ones I get. Everyone else gets the nice ones... But the biggest problem we the lowly servers must suffer, is the grill cook's inability to cook the steak according to the patron's discrimination. Not to mention, with only 2 coffee and tea machines for the whole place, sometimes it gets rather hectic. but as you shall find out, I found some hilarious disarming ways to cause the patrons to ease off the trigger, so to speak. They're incorporated into the story. Gee, I wonder if you can find out what they are? >=p The Savannah Steakhouse: How Rindimo the Cheetah Became a Server It was a day of tension. Anxiety. Butterflies. First day of working a real job. It was the day that the cheetah would taste what it's like on the other side of the table. It was time to become- .... A SERVER! Rindimo never really liked bow ties, or dress shirts for that matter. But after catching a few glances from some young patrons eyeing him, caused him to release the steam building up there. It was highly odd that he was the only male on the whole work force- an event he would soon learn that would peg him with the subtitle: Bathroom cleaner, and heavy things lifter. But all that aside, he excitedly went to the back room, and clocked himself on. He promptly went to the drink fountain to where all the Waitressess were gossiping, to see who it was that would be his crew leader. "Hello, Rindimo," said a cheery Lioness, "My name is Ayana, and I'm going to teach you all the ways of being an employee for the Savannah Steak House." "Why, hello, Ayana, nice to meet you. Umm, well, let's start, please?" Ayana chuckled. "Well, aren't you the eager one! I could just eat you up!" Rindimo didn't know how to take that one. The lioness led the cheetah way off towards the back of the restaurant. way back. nope, farther still. farther, father. just a little farther.... there we go! It was quite a desolate part of the restaurant. had this been a western, instead of african setting, there'd be some tumbleweed rolling through the aisles... "We always start the rookies off in this section that we lovingly call: "The Elephant Graveyard"." "Uh, How am I to learn, or make any tips if there's no one here?" "Don't worry, siily. A Kenyadian might find his way here, every now and then." "Why them? Don't they live farther up north?" "Yes, but during the dry season, they like to vacation down here, and order our regional special drink- Nala water." "Oh." Amazingly, an old couple takes a seat in the section that the exhuberant cheetah was assigned. An old lion and his mate were slowly- heck, everything they did was slow! Any way, they slowly sit down, and move their walkers to the side of the table. judging from the old lion's gut, he didn't use the walker due to an ailment of his joints... "Make sure to see if they have reciepts. you never know who's a scavenger in *this* business." "Okay." "Why good afternoon!" Crooned Ayana. "My name is Ayana, and this is Rindimo- who is training to become a server... so don't be too hard on him." Ayana gave them a wink. "Well, then, I suppose you'll want our reciept for our orders." The old lion handed the nervous cheetah the reciept. "AAlrighty, we have two wildebeest steaks, some sweet tea, and a baked potato with each meal?" "That's right." "Well, sir, you get a complimentary salad with that meal. What kind of dressing would you like on that?" "Oh, how about the house dressing." "me too." "Um, I don't know if we could get the house to put on a shirt, but i'll try!" After a long period of silence... "It was a joke. House Dressing? get it?" Everyone groans. "er, , I think I'll go get the salad..." Ayana quikly stops the cheetah. "Here, hon, I'll get another waitress to get the salads, first, I'm going to help you with the hardest thing of all- the steaks." Ayana led the cheetah to the back of the restaurant- out to the open savannah. "Okay, Rindimo, do you remember the nine steps of hunting?" "Yes, I think so: 1, stay downwind. 2, move only when the wind does. 3, pick out an easy target-" "Nope! that's 4! 3 is "remember what species the customer wanted" "Oh, you're right. sorry. 5, stalk. 6., run, 7, anticipate moves, 8, spring, and 9, crush windpipe!" "There you go! now go ahead, and i'll correct you when needed." Happily, Our hero slithered into the grass, and followed all the steps to the letter. However, a cheetah does not have the mass capable to bring down a large wildebeest with the greatest of ease. I'll spare the gory details.... " So.... How'd I do?" "What a mess! you didn't really do it in a professional manner- you have blood all over your bow tie!" "and how would you like it, if you learned that YOUR server drooled more than necessary over YOUR carcass that YOU paid for?" "Sorry about that...I have the same problem at home...." "We'll over look that- after all, it is your first kill for the company. well, now that we have the steak (the most important thing), how about I show you how to make the tea." Ayana leads Rin. over to a tree, plucks a few leaves off, and grinds them with a mortar and pestal, while some water is brought to a boil. at the same time, rindimo is extracting sugar from some sugar cane. "And you do coffee like this too?" "Why, yes." "But it takes so long! doesn't anyone complain?" "Bah! everyone knows they gotta wait for stuff in a restaurant!" Finally, The (very large, and heavy) meal was brought to the table, along with the drinks, and a complimentary bottle of nala water. The moment of truth has come, as our favorite cheetah awaits the judgement of his patrons. He wonders if he really did drool too much... "MMMMmmmmMMMM! this is the best wildebeest steak I've ever tasted! Out of all the times i've ever eaten.... blah, blah, blaah..." While the old lion rambled on about the flavor of the meal, the Lioness eyed our friend, amd smiled. "My, you have a lovely smile!" "Why thank you, ma'am! It only cost 15 hundred bucks!" Well that certantly ruined *that* conversation for poor Rindimo! "Err, thatt's nice... so, are you going to college, or are you still in Highschool?" "I'm enrolled at the Serenghetti Community College- I hope to become a Mechanical engineer." "Ohhhh! well, then. We'll havve to leave you an extra special tip so you can keep on going to school!" "Sarabi, your wildebeest is getting cold! Hurrry up and eat some of it, or maybe I'll just..." "Shut up, you ol' poop! I was talking to the boy!" "Hey, don't you talkto me like that!" "I don't know why I even bother talking to you- all you do is eat!" Well, let's skip this, shall we? After long hours of eating, and bickering, finally, the couple leave..... a big mess. Halfway through cleaning the mess, Rindimo found his tip: A nice, shiny penny. But what made the job all worth it, was the nice comment written on his little name/comment card: "He didn't sneeze. Very promissing!" *The End.... Or is it?* --  The Tiger is made to kill and hunt, The Lion too, but more towards fight. The Leopards and Jaguars were made to climb, And Cheetahs made for earthly flight. But there is one creature of forgotten lore: Shrouded in mystery, be that it's trade, Of other virtues, it has all four- Respect the Puma, and what God made. -Rindimo E-mail Address: Rindimo@bellsouth.net *If you can read this, then I am still an eligible bachelor!*  Founder (and only member) of: The L.O.S.T.- C.A.U.S.E. (League Of Simplistic Technology- Causing All Unforseen Solutions Evident) K.I.S.S.: Keep It Simple, Stupid. (Long neglected scientific principle)