Subject: Savannah Steakhouse Revisited (off topic) Date: Mon, 09 Mar 1998 22:46:23 -0600 From: Rindimo Reply-To: TLK-L@lionking.org Organization: L.O.S.T.-- C.A.U.S.E To: tlk-l@lionking.org Okay, this is to commemorate my guts at staying at the same place for a whole year, this very day! It is basically my reflections on my first real job- a waiter at Golden Corral. If you want to, I can e-mail you the original story that this is a sequel to. Ta-Daa! (Warning! Very long story ahead that's not totally factual) The Savannah Steakhouse Revisited By: Rindimo It had been a long time since Rindimo first started out as a waiter. he'd had his share of escapades with customers, managers, and rabid children that really needed a leash, and a tranquilizer dart to the backside... Yes, through it all, one thing was sure: the slogan, "Never a dull moment." held true. Indeed, Spring break brought many beautiful girls with long distance phone numbers to the tables of Rindimo. And over-protective boyfriends left a puny tip to darken the day. Still, It never hurts to look at all 23 numbers.. Sunday was always a funday! never in all his life, had Rindimo gotten so many tracts asking if he was saved- only to get fifty cents from a table of twenty, who were not very christian-like as they like to think. Ah, yes, he can still hear their cursing floating across the soda fountain even as we speak... Summer dragged on rather dully, that is, until the Gummi Bear Bandit made his first appearance. It was to become an all too often calling card that the culprit would put: a moistened row of gummi bears stuck underneath the table. A diabolical genius, he was. Gummi bears are despised by all wait-staff, because they are so sticky. but when dunked in water for a while, the become even /STICKIER/. The bandit apparenly got away with this rather effortlessly- Rindi could never see him do it, and apparently neither did his parents. And then the bandit wasn't satisfied with just sticking them- no, he devised the ultimate weapon: The MGBPS- M.oistened G.ummi B.ear P.ea S.hooter! Rindi discovered the loaded weapon laying on the table. it was a simple device: a normal straw, with jabbed-in bits of moistened gummi bears. the range of such a device was amazing, as Rindi noticed when he looked up at the ceiling...... And so it was! a game of cat and mouse! well... okay, it wasn't. But our hero was slowly working on a profile: a male child, of approximately three feet in heighth. approximately five years old, and has parents who do not punish bad behavior. gee, that really separates him from the other 500 five year olds that come to the restaurant everyday... All the while, the Bandit was increasing his offenses to higher, and higher powers: Gummi bears used to glue two plates together, Gummi bears ornately stuck on drinking glasses; cups full of water, with gummi bears in them, and inverted on the table top, so when you lift them up, they spill; Gummi bears gluing the salt and pepper shakers to the table- the list went on and on! And these were just a few from Rindi's section! Other waitresses also had some of the same things happen to them. But the coup de gracie- the grand finale- the ultimate hardball pitch- was one Rindi will never forget: It seemed the normal prank for youngsters to do: bolt the bathroom door, and crawl out from underneath. And it did seem like that the first time. But the third time it happened, had Gummi Bear Bandit written all over it! It all started when there were some gentlemen complaining someone locked the door to the stall for the disabled- one that has its own sink and everything, mind you. Our hero begrudgingly pulled out his cheap swiss army knife copy, and was able to manipulate the door open. when he stepped to walk in, however, he slipped to the ground, and while still moaning, began to slowly slide back towards the customers, and a drain in the depressed floor. The Bandit struck again. This time, he took apart the soap dispenser, opened up the paper towel dispenser, and dumped all the soap into it. Also, to hide any evidence, he toilet papered the area. welp, you guessed it. soap was all over the floor- and as our hero looked up to the ceiling, guess what he saw? Red. He saw red. (and Gummi Bears) It wouldn't have been so bad, if the culprit only done a curtesy flush... Needless to say, Rindimo repented for ever throwing wet toilet paper balls at the ceiling when he was back in grade school. Amazingly, it seemed it was the Bandit's last stunt. None were detected for months... Halloween came, and Rindimo couldn't find a Lion King suit big enough to fit him. Dino- a meerkat who's an avid wrestling fan- set the record for scaring the most children by smiling at them while wearing a wrestling suit made of a t-shirt, and tight biker shorts, with matching black face paint. Christmas was a lovely time. It was extremely cute hearing all the jingly bells jingle as the lionessess walked about with cute little hats... and that Teresa.... ... what a cute little snow angel! too bad all the guys who work in the back cleaning pots and pans never gave her any breathing space. perhaps one day, our hero might work up some guts... and keep his brain from turning into mush when he's near her- and ask her if she likes The Lion King. And then, the great exodus: as if it was a horrible dry season the savannah hasn't seen in years- suddenly, a large amount of employees left. only the best of the best (that's Rindimo, btw) was able to still smile through it all. Everyone gathered inspiration from it- well... everyone started to get sick of it. Hey, Rindimo can't help it, he even smiles at funerals- though he tries not to. And then it happened! The pinnacle of his entire waiter carrier! The Bandit- caught in the act!!!!!! Apparently the reason he stopped his profession during the fall, was to apparently score points for good ol' saint nick. But now, with that out of the way, he happily ran to the bathroom, and was just climbing out from under the door when- "Aha! IT'S YOUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!! i GOT YOU! MUWHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!" tHE BANDIT FROZE in his tracks. fear poured out of his expression, as he saw a big vast grin of sharp teeth. tears started to well up in his eyes- a tactic to avoid punishment, mind you- and he started to sob, "momeeeee!" Sore loser. And in his hand was the MGBPS- and ammo to boot. His parents weren't all that thrilled to learn that their little precious was the one who caused many servers to petition management for a punching bag in the back (To relieve stress)- along with bissel vaccuum cleaners instead of brooms. I don't know if justice was dealt, but at least Rindimo had the chance to say a fond farewell before his parents came: "If i ever find Gummi Bears stuck to the ceiling, or anything else, and find doors locked, I know it's you, and I know what you look like. If I ever find another mess like you've been doing- have your parents call the police- 'cause I'm gonna get you!" **** One day, as yours truly came to work, and punched his little name card into the clock, Rindimo noticed an extra name card was added to the list of servers. Now there had been many new recruits that have come and gone... but this one said something different: Adrian. Finally, after all this time, another male came onto the scene. He was a small lion-about the same size as Rindimo- one that from a distance seemed nice, but Rindimo wasn't so sure. He figured he'd just have to get used to it. one thing was for certain: he won't have to always be the one to clean up the bathroom and lift heavy things. Well, no sense in remaining shy. "Why hello, Adrian, I'm Rindimo. It's about time I wasn't the only guy out here!" "Huh, is that so? hah! A cheetah! Well, at least I won't have any competiton with the ladies, so long as I'm the only studly lion!" "Hee hee! isn't he funny?" Ayana, and the other waitresses laughed. "Now ladies, control yourselves, I haven't even started yet!" "Oh really? what else do you have for us?" "Well, now isn't the time nor the place..." Again, the lionesses laughed at what can only be deciferred as a rotten flirt. As Adrian continued his ever increasing lewd jokes, Rindimo was left with a very negative impression of the newcomer, as he walked off with the lionesses. What arrogance! What a jerk! Rindi stood there, feeling his fur get on end, and his fists tightening into a white knuckled grip... Indeed, the first impression told of Adrian's normal everyday actions in a nutshell... but the longer Rindimo kept his eyes on him, there were some good points he did have- every now and then, he'd actually go out of his way and do something for someone else- as long as it was a girl. In fact, all he ever did was to flirt with girls. that, and maintain his smooth talking, arrogant posture. Still, Rindimo did not let his snide remarks leave a mark on his good nature. He tried to just look away, and ignore him, but try as he might, Adrian was always in the picture. It was getting to the point, where Rindi even began to beg to do some of the work he good-naturedly did, but didn't exactly enjoy. But the Lionesses seemed to find Adrian more interesting. It became apparent, that they stick to their kind. A major blow to his ego, was when he was given a smaller territory to serve. Apparently, Adrian was out for territory- an instinct that's rather strong in lions- and used his sweet-talking to get it. for once, the smile left Rindimo. He was being replaced by someone who was only half as good himself, but could cut corners so others would overlook it. He'd have made a good politician. "Aw, now what's dee problem, my dear waiter?" "Hi Rafiki, dee problem is a lion named Adrian." "What!? Why Rindimo, I had no idea!" "No, no, no! Not THOSE kind of problems!" "Oops! My mistake... So, what's so bad about him?" "He sounds, and acts like a used car saleman, and I feel, I'm being considered dead weight around here. I'm no longer the important cog in the works." "Pbbah! He's just dee new guy. Dee excitement will go away, soon, and everyting will be back to normal." "It's been Three months." "What!? Well, Hrmmm.... all I can say is jyou just keep doing a bedder job dan him, and someone's bound to see eet." "Hey, you're right! By golly, I'll show this place what a cheetah can do!!!" "Good! Now, go on, go and get me some coffee!" "Regular or decaff?" "What does eet look like?" "I think you should have the decaff" "Jyou want your tip, or not?" And so, our hero persevered, and went well beyound all expectations of him, and slowly was beginning to make Adrian look like a slacker. Too bad Adrian caught on, and began to work as hard as Rindimo, and thus began the cleaning wars.... slowly, Rindimo was beginning to become totally exhausted. he wasn't getting enough sleep, and his grades were beginning to fade. Something had to snap, and he was hoping it'd be his rival. One day, as Rindimo habitually came to work early, he overheard some laughter near the back of the restaurant, where all the waitresses normally smoke during breaks. Curious, he walked over, and was suprised to see a small pack of hyenas and Adrian talking. "Yeah, that one Lioness is such a pain in the @$$! Hah! I think I'll slander ALL their names! hee hee! What rotten horribly disgusting titles can we illegally pin on them, and make fun of them?" "Did you ever get the cheetah fired yet?" "Nah, not yet. He's so &@#% goody-goody, there's no way I can pin anything on him, just yet. I'll have to get him out of the picture slowly." "Heh heh! So, Adrian, when are ya gonna replace the manager?" "As soon as I take out the cheetah. *&%$!! He keeps working so hard, It's gettin' tough to keep up!" "Hah hah! Adrian outdone by a cheetah! A puny weak cheetah! A guggg--" "If you're not gonna help me plot out a plan to get rid of him and the manager, how about I just finish choking you?" "No, no, Boss! let 'im go! we've been thinking of one! we got one!" "Rats! It'll have to wait untill tomorrow- I gotta go clock in." "Hey, d'jya hear that?" "Hear what?" "It sounded like someone just ran away from behind the dumpster." "Puh! you're always so darned afraid of everything." It was indeed hard to pretend like he never heard anything, but Rindimo pulled it off. He was slowly working on plans to expose Adrian- once and for all. So long as he didn't meet up with Adrian face to face. "Hey, Rindipoo, can you help me over here?" Adrian laughed, as he struggled with a big box at the top of a shelf. "Sure thing, Adrian. here, let me get this corner..." "Ow! My wrist!" Adrian let go of the box, and it's entire contents of Gummi bears poured upon our hero. Adrian ran off, heading towards the ice machine, to apparently get ice for his wrist. "RINDIMO!!!" It was Tabu, the head manager, who didn't exactly like having a cheetah on his work team, anyway. "What did you DO?!" "Sorry, sir! I was just helping..." "...MAKE A MESS! Clean this up now, or you're fired!" "What happened?" Ayana asked, as the other lionessess convened upon the scene to see a hilariously Gummi Bear clad cheetah. "Why Rindimo, you should've let me help you!" Crooned Adrian upon his return. Rindimo could see where this was going. Tell everyone it was Adrian's fault, and get a bad rap. Swallow your pride, and Adrian get's miffed. Gee, what to do? "Sorry, I thought I could do it myself- I guess I really do need your help every now and then, Adrian." A frowning Adrian stood in the background, as the lionessess fussed over poor Rindimo. "Too (&^% Goody-Goody!" he mutterred. The next day, Rindi Hid behind the dumpster with a tape recorder, and waited for Adrian and his team to convene once again. the wait was all too short. "I did it! I figured out how to get rid of the Cheetah, and the manager at once! Soon, I'll be the owner of this establishment, and be filthy stinkin' rich with it's profits!" "How ya gonna do that, boss?" "Sooner or later, that &^%$# cheetah's gonna snap if I keep doin' all those fun tricks on him! And when he does, the manager will make him toast! then, if I stand up for the little ^*%$, it'll make me look good! Do that a couple of times, and I'm the good guy who has a right to challenge the old owner- who can't do much 'cause he's so old!!" "Haaa haa haa! that's good, boss! den, we will be in business, eh?" "Yes, then we can make all the spiked brownies we want- and sell them without anyone knowing!" "Haa haa! Genius! you're a genius!" "Aren't I? hey, let's make more fun of all the people, again. I've thought of some very sick titles to give each and every one of them..." "I knew there was something screwy with that guy!" Rindimo thought as he quickly ran into the building with the tape recorder. Straight to the office he went, and promptly opened the door to find Mr. Tabu talking on the phone. He patiently waited, as he warily saw Mr. Tabu's eyes get red staring at him. Finally, he put down the phone and began to growl. "What are you doing interrupting me in my office!!???" "Mr. Tabu! Adrian is going to try to take over the Savannah Steakhouse and turn it into an outlet for drug tainted brownies!!" "How DARE you slander him!!! I knew he was better than you!! he'd never do something like this to you! YOU'RE FIRED!!!" "But this recording-" Much to Rindimo's horror, Mr. Tabu knocks it out of his hand, and it breaks. "Get out of my office now! And if you enter this restaurant again, I'm calling the police!" Rindi picked up the pieces, and slowly walked out of the building- his mind furiously racing for an answer. Amazingly, one came. He quickly took the pieces with him towards the back of the restaurant where he saw a ladder leading to the roof... On the rooftop, he found a hatch that lead to the electric and plumbing, and quickly jumped in searching for the wires to the intercom and muzac speakers... Meanwhile, Adrian walked to the office with all the lionesses behind him. "Allright, Mr. Tabu, I challenge you for the title of manager!!!" "What!??" "You heard me! You had no right to fire Rindimo! He was one of the best employees this place ever had, and you fired him!" "I had no choice! he crossed the lines! and I ain't ready to give up everything over a puny cheetah! come and get me, ya two bit twit!" "With pleasure," snarled Adrian. The two began to circle eachother, much to the delight and entertainment of the customers.. The only thing that was really damaged in the tape recorder, was a punctured speaker. using his claws, rimdimo began stripping wire, and trying out each connection, to no avail. A painful electrical shock helped reinforce it. As the lights in the building dimmed, Tabu lost concentration looking up at them, and allowed Adrian to get the first swing. A roar echoed across the restaurant. Adrian threw another punch in the direction of the old manager. this time, the manager was able to roll with the punch, but it still had effect. Minutes seemed like hours, as the room slowly began to spin for poor old mr. Tabu. With a Smile, Adrian prepared to give the final blow of victory for himself and his buddies- "I did it! I figured how to get rid of the Cheetah, and the manager at once! Soon, I'll be the owner of this establishment, and be filthy stinkin rich with it's profits!" Adrian froze. "Adrian, Isn't that YOUR voice?", asked Ayana. "...Do that a couple of times, and that makes me the good guy, who has the right to challenge the old owner- who can't do much 'cause he's so old!" "Uh, ehm, uhm..." "...Yes, we can make all the spiked brownies we want!" "ADRIAN! What's going on!!?? Is this the truth?" "NO! No, I would never do anything to hurt you, deary... heh heh!" "...Hey, let's make more fun of all the people again! I thought of some very sick titles to give to each and every one of them..." Suddenly, Adrian was surrounded by growling lionesses as each one heard their name, and some slanderous name given to each one of them. There was only one thing to do- defeat Mr. Tabu, and claim the title. Then they'd have no choice, because they all voted for him to do it. He lunged at the old timer for his demise-- *Crash!* suddenly, from a skylight, came the form of a cheetah! "OOps! sorry, Mr. Tabu, I didn't mean to do that. It was jsut the fastest way to get here." "No offense taken..." Gasped Tabu. "Adrian, I've had it up to here with your manipulating of all the people around here, and I'm gonna stop you once and for all!" "Oh, really?" Adrian snapps his fingers, and a pack of hyenas come out of the shadows. "You and what army?" "HIM and THIS army, buster!!" Screams Ayana, as her and the rest of the lionesses circle around our hero. "You love me! you all really love me!" Cries Rindimo. "Attack!" The hyenas advance, as Adrian heads towards Rindimo. The customers all cheered, and started placing bets on who would win, as the fight turned into one heck of a bar brawl- tables and chairs broken, bottles broken... Gummi Bears everywhere!! Finally, with most of the Hyenas taken out- many thanks to Rafiki-, It was just down to Rindimo and Adrian. after circling eachother for a while, Adrian cackled, "Forget it, Rindimo! You're too nice to fight! you can't do it!" "You'd be surprised what I can do behind your back, Adrian" As adrian looked perplexed, Rindimo made gestures, as if someone was behind Adrian. "Now now now!" Finally, Adrian looked around. Big mistake. After the paramedics took adrian to the hospital, Rindimo helped Mr. Tabu to his feet. "Thankyou, Rindimo! you saved my life, my restaurant, and made an awesome fighting scene that'll ensure the customers will come back again!" "Aw, just doin' my job." "Tell you what! I'm going to give everyone a raise, and buy some bissel vaccuum cleaners!" everyone cheers. "I'm happy to hear it! Well, I gotta get going.." "What!? You're leaving us?" "Yeah, today was my last day. I promised to work here for a year, and I did. This job was getting alittle too boring, and stressful." "We'll miss you, Rindi!" All the lionessess began to cry. "Aw, don't worry, we'll always have lunch! It's been apleasure working with you all- I just feel like it's time to move on." "There will always be a place reserved here for you, Rindimo. Don't you ever forget that! Heck, I'll even give your meal half price!" "Wow! gee, thanks! well, I'll see you all later! Until we meet again!" "'Till we meet again..." all the waitressess sobbed, as our hero walked into the sunset... The End --  The Tiger is made to kill and hunt, The Lion too, but more towards fight. The Leopards and Jaguars were made to climb, And Cheetahs made for earthly flight. But there is one creature of forgotten lore: Shrouded in mystery, be that it's trade, Of other virtues, it has all four- Respect the Puma, and what God made. -Rindimo E-mail Address: Rindimo@bellsouth.net *If you can read this, then I am still an eligible bachelor!*  Founder (and only member) of: The L.O.S.T.- C.A.U.S.E. (League Of Simplistic Technology- Causing All Unforseen Solutions Evident) K.I.S.S.: Keep It Simple, Stupid. (Long neglected scientific principle)