The Zazu/Iago Exchange
A small mouse, darting to and fro, sniffing the air for a premonition of
danger, heads towards the screen. Without any warning, a large paw lands on
it with a loud thump. The mouse is lifted into the air by it's tail,
struggling futilely, as it's captor looks on with mock pity.
Scar: Life's not fair, is it? You see I, well I shall never be King. And you.. Hmm.. And you will never see the light of another day. Adieu...
Scar reaches out with his tongue to swallow the unfortunate animal, but a loud voice interupts him
Iago: Agh! How you can eat those mouldy, disgusting...
Scar: (Sighing) What do you want?
Iago: (Looking confused) Er, you're not Jafar... (his eyes narrow with faint recognition) ...are you?
Scar: Oh look Zazu, you made me lose my lunch.
Iago looks around for Zazu and then realises Scar was addressing him
Iago: (Dispairingly) Oh no... This is one of those cheesy cross overs... My name's IAGO!
Scar: Yes, yes. Whatever. Run along now will you. I have more important things to think about than your ranting and raving...
Iago: (Flapping up in front of Scar's face, Furious) Ranting? You got a problem with that greasy? I'll wipe that grin off your face, pal! Wam! Boom!
Scar: (Grinning evilly) Oh, I quiver with fear...
Iago: (Realising his mistake) No Scar! (shrugs in mid air) That's it! I'm dead!
Iago dissappears into Scars mouth with a shriek
Mufasa appears at the cave mouth...
Mufasa: Drop him.
Iago: (His voice echoing and muffled slightly inside Scars mouth.) Hey! I can see your breakfast from here! *pause* ...Was that a hornbill?
Scar spits out Iago in a sodden heap
Iago: (Raising his feathers covered in saliva) Eeeww... Lion drool.
Scar: (In smarmy voice) Why, if it isn't my big brother, descending from on high, to mingle with the commoners!
As Scar says this Iago glares up at him and flaps his way towards Mufasa. As he passes Scar he mutters...
Iago: ...Jerk!
Iago lands on Mufasa's shoulder and looks between the two.
Iago: You guys are related. -sniggers- Aw, come on!
Mufasa: Sarabi and I didn't see you at the presentation of Simba..
Scar: (Feigning surprise) Really? I could have sworn I was there on the video cover... (Meets Mufasa eye to eye) I feel absolutely awful. Must have... slipped my mind.
Iago is grinning evilly, when he realises the 'camera' is on him
Iago: Oh! Ahem! Yes... well, that's no surprise seeing how slippery your mane.. er, mind is. There's no way you'd catch me trustin' a lion!
Scar: (Raising his head to stare at Iago) Well I was first in line, untill that little hair ball was born.
Iago: (Bewildered) What? No! Not in line! Trusting a lion! Are you DEAF! Why am I even bothering?
[A shrill wind begins to whistle past the cave mouth]
Mufasa: (His voice rasping and echoing slightly in the cave's interior) I, am that hairball's father....
Mufasa coughs up a hairball, his voice returns to normal and the wind dies
Mufasa: Excuse me. ...which makes him your future king.
Iago: One of your hairballs is gonna be King??
Scar: No!
Mufasa: No!
Iago cowers into Mufasa's mane. There is a pause while everyone tries to remember their lines
Scar: Oh, yes. -coughs- Well, I shall practice my courtsey! (Turns to leave)
Mufasa: (Roaring and leaping in front of Scar) Don't turn your back on me, Scar!
Scar: (Teeth bared in a snarl) Oh, do put a sock in it, Mufasa!
Mufasa: Is that a challenge?
Scar is completely dumbstruck by this dumb question. Iago rolls his eyes dispairingly
Scar: (In patronising tone of voice) Temper Temper! I wouldn't dream of challenging you!
Iago: Pity... I would! (Grins appologetically at Mufasa and says in a high pitched whine) It's in my nature!
Mufasa: Why should I trust you Scar?
Scar: Well, you see, when it comes to brains, I got the Lions share. But when it comes to brute strength... -pouts- I'm afraid I'm at the shallow end of the gene pool...
Scar lopes off. Iago looks after him then back at Mufasa and frowns.
Iago: There's one in every family...
Iago: (Rolling his eyes towards Mufasa and muttering to himself...) And I end up working for it.
Mufasa: What am I going to do with him, Zazu?
Iago: (Eyes clenched shut and wings balled into fists) IAGO! My name is IAGO! (Opens eyes and spreads wings out in a gesture of finality) That's it! I'm outta here! Ariverdaci!
Iago flaps his way towards Scar
Iago: Hey! Wait for me! I gotta plan!
Mufasa: -Chuckling- Zazu...
It's probably crawling with typo's. If you see any just beat then to death with a spatula. I find rubber ones are best...
Chris