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The Adventures of the TLK-L team!
It was a late night full of MUCKing and other internet activities.
"Finally, some decent RP." I thought to myself.
I was really throwing
myself into my character when suddenly the phone rang. Muttering various
explicatives that would make Dennis Rodman cringe, I lifted the reciever
my ear and spoke clearly.
"Simba? It's Jones, we've got trouble." Upon
hearing his voice my heart
skipped a beat. Daryl A Jones was not the type of person I expected
from at this hour He was the Disney contact through which the TLK-L
recieved its orders, and a call from him could only mean bad news.
"What's wrong DJ?" I asked, trying to sound
calm. He was somewhat frantic.
"Assemble the TLK-L team immediately, there's
an emergency that must be
"An emergency?" I wondered aloud, "What type
of emergency?" I listned, as
Daryl told me the nature of the dilemma. Eyes widening, I suddenly
faint. I nearly jumped from the computer desk. "We'll get on it
immediately!" I said shortly before hanging up the phone. Jumping onto
computer I rapidly punched in the secret TLK code (CTRL-ALT-DEL for
of you who'd like to try ;)) and the message was sent to the list members.
"URGENT, TLK-L ASSEMBLE!"
Hitting the special switch alongside my chair, I was suddenly injected
a tunnel and hurled around for one heckuva ride. One thing Disney knew,
how to make a secret slide more fun. Within minutes I was at the head
the TLK-L table, and the team was coming in. Glancing about, I smiled
the group made their greetings.
Ryan McGinnis and Brian Tiemann, keepers of
great archives and lore.
Logozo with his special SPAM weapondry and rock hard shell. TxTimon
Gema led in a group of Timonaholics. Rocio and ScarJT slinked into
room, at the head of the Scaraholics pack. LuvLionKing giggled incessantly
upon entering, leaving me to think that it was time to get her away
those hyenas. Dave Cleary came in in his usual 'sanctimonious' manner,
leading several representatives from the FCOS. John Burkett and Dave
slid in along with Trey McElveen all in a half daze, pens flying furiously
as they continued sketching out some other new fanfic. Nimrod Carmi,
III and Ed Debuse took their places as the Simbaholics, leading a large
group with them.
I sighed, noticing the groups we had left.
In slid Tzup and Jeff Dearman,
leading a whole bunch of lively newbies. The old guard and the newbies
threw a couple of flames at each other before they sat down to a temporary
peace. Then, in a whirl of hoots and yells entered the masses of hardcore
Nalaholics, all crowded around one particular chute. Through that chute
slid the Nalas, and they were imediately engulfed by the group, lifted
gently placed on plush chairs while the others bowed and worshiped
Glancing around the entire hall, I noticed
a few lurkers in the background
but didn't even get a second look. It was time to get this meeting
order. 82 TLK fans was not going to be easy to calm
"Attention everyone!" I called, "We have an
emergency to deal with!" The
murmuring went quiet for a little while, until a newbie from the back
suddenly yelled out,
"Watership down is cool! Everyone read Watership
down!" The group roared
up again, as I wondered how it could be so easy to get off subject
quickly. I sighed, then nodding to the Nalas, they stood and gave the
entire group THE_LOOK. There was an eerie silence, in which the only
that could be heard was the soft splashing of drool as it dripped off
tongues of the Nalaholics. I cleared my throat.
"Now, lets have minutes from the last meeting,
Dave?" I sat down as about
fifty Daves stood up. Sighing, I clarified, "Dave Cleary..." While
others slowly sat down, Dave began to speak.
"Okay, first we had general vespers, then
announcements, then there was a
little bout with the sacred wine, and then we talked about sales. Sarabi,
Sarafina, and Nala showed up and then..." he suddenly realized that
eyes were on him and looking strangely. He flushed, "Err, ignore that,
that's a FCOS minutes script." As he was suddenly swaped with applications
to the FCOS, I waves a hand dismissively and groaned.
"Lets just move on shall we?" And without
warning there was a sudden POP
from around the giant table. I could see Rocio scrambling over and
squeezing the air from Ryan's lungs. Amidst the chaos that followed,
and TxTimon jumped up on the table and started screaming,
"What's goin' on here???" as loud as they
could. There was a synchronized
shrug from Trey, John, and Dave Morris and they continued to crank
fanfics. Glancing to Ed, Nimrod, and Simba III, I nodded and we all
resounding roar to those gathered. Silence was achieved once again,
price of the two fainting Nalas. While they were being fanned by about
the members, I continued.
"I just got a call from our Disney contact,
it looks like they're going to
need our help again?" Voices began to call out in turn
"What? Have the toy companies lost all the
merchandise again?" asked
"Has someone stolen all the Nala plushies?"
gasped Dukat and about fifty
"Are the hyenas beating on Scar again??" Rocio
asked frantically. There
was a silence, then another POP from across the table that sent Rocio
Ryan's neck again. Amidst the gagging noises and the laughter, several
others stepped forward to quiet the group down. While waiting, our
meterologist Ian Layton spoke.
"So what IS this big emergency anyway." For
a moment, there was a calm
surrender to the rush of noise. Pausing I began to speak.
"As you all know, TLK has been out of theaters
for almost 3 years. But
what I just found out is what happened to the characters." Several
pushed forward as I spoke on. "Disney built a sanctuary for the characters
to spend their time while they waited for the sequel. And well, something
awful has happened." I took a deep breath getting ready to break the
Suddenly someone had the nerve to break the silence by yelling,
"Macintosh rules!!" And once again, the Makei
took control of the room. It
took several caustic remarks to calm everyone down again, but it did
happen, and I finished sadly.
"We are on a search mission. The cast of The
Lion King has been
TO BE CONTINUED....
There was an eerie silence that pervaded the
air. No one could speak a
word. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Then
from a chute comes Margaret, bouncing a little before running up to
front of the room.
"Look guys! Scissors! I can cut my messages
now!!" The whole room when
into an uproar, clapping and hooting their praise and relief that perhaps
the SPAM was over. Grinning myself, and having to applaud her discovery,
clapped along. Suddenly, as the clapping died down, there was another
and once again, Rocio was squeezing the life from Ryan McGinnis. After
comical tussle, Ian stepped in quickly.
"You will STOP this fighting over the balloons!
We have more important
things to do!" The two stopped fighting, and the whole mass cheered.
"Attaboy Ian! Attaboy!" The cries might have
gone on forever had Chris
Boyce not jumped up and screamed,
"Enough with the Attaboys!!!" After a few
firey rebuttals, things calmed
down again and I continued.
"Okay, the last known location of the cast
was the Pride Rock sanctuary
built in the serengeti. From there, they could be anywhere. Any
suggestions?" Metutu calmly stood up and eyed the group,
"Lets all go to Disney!!!" He yelled in his
best english. The group
cheered him profusely.
"Attaboy! Attaboy!" they called while the
Old Guard sat back and shook
their heads sadly. A quick reminder of the just ended flame war over
Attaboys, and the use of @Q (MUCK joke), allowed the group to come
more reasonable state of control.
"Okay," I started, "Lets try this. Lets begin
a world search. Everyone
search everywhere and find whatever clues you can. We'll meet back
a week. If you find any clues contact the rest of the group immediately.
(CTRL- ALT-DEL for those who want to try)" Everyone looked to each
and nodded. Suddenly, there was huge *POP* and we heard someone scream
"AIEEEEEEEE!!" We all turned to the sound,
to see Ryan racing for his
chute, and Rocio following with a large blunt object. The whole crowd
laughed while I shook my head. I certainly hoped this plan would turn
okay. Everyone headed back to their individual holes and were immediately
sucked back into RL.
<The Time: Exactly One Week Later>
I slid down my chute, muttering something
evil. Being late is a terrible
thing, and when it comes to this group, if you get on late, you will
inevitably get spammed. Still, I enjoyed the ride until the end, when
suddenly landed with a *floomf* onto a giant pile of plushies.
"What the??" I said in surprised as I looked
around our group
headquarters. "What happened here???" To my utter surprise, the room
filled with plushies, watches, shaving kits, and all forms of collectors
items from TLK. Swimming through the masses of plushies to get my head
above P-level I noticed the rest of the group grinning sheepishly.
"We found some clues..." I heard CyberWulf's
voice come from way in the
"What do you mean clues?? this must be every
TLK thing ever made in here!"
I heard Duma pipe up from somewhere amongst the sea of plushies.
"Well we found clues too, but we also found
this stuff and how could any
TLK fan pass up this type of merchandise??" There were mumbles of agreement
amongst the group and I just put my hand over my eyes. Then I glanced
"Where's Logozo?" A turtle popped up from
the The merchandise pile.
"Here!" I pointed a finger accusingly at him.
"This is all your fault! You and that darn
list of all the stuff you found
at Disney. How are you going to pay for all this?" Logozo grinned,
"Don't worry, we charged it to the list administrators."
The whole place
broke into a wide grin while, once again, I shook my head,
"Man, Jarrod is gonna be pist." There were
giggles around the room. It
took a good portion of time to clean up the mess that had been made.
helped get everything into the TLK vault to hold for later (which just
happened to be my room) and began to call the meeting to order.
"Okay, what was found?" Just as there was
about to be some semblance of
order, Dave Cleary stood up, obviously moved by the spirit of the moment,
(or just the alluring sacred wine) and called out
"Repent!! Repent! The Grand Pumbaa is coming!!"
Everyone sniffed the air
for a moment, skeptical that he could approach without being given
before Snowcat shreiked,
"Stop him! He's got the Aluminum Simba Artifact!"
I blinked as he
brandished it about in a dangerous way.
"Grab Dave!" I called out without thinking.
Forever more, I will think
before I say something like that. For the next hour there was a free
all, where everyone on the list was trying to grab one of the fifty
that frequent the group. Suddenly, it was all over and an eerie silence
came about. It didn't last long, suddenly it was broken by the ring
viewscreen. I turned and spoke up,
"On screen." Suddenly Ed Debuse jumped up.
"On screen! That's what he says!! On screen!!
I can finish my TLK/StarTrek
crossover now!" And with that, he grabbed a piece of paper and pen
joined Trey, John, and Dave Morris in cranking out fanfic at an appalling
rate. While he was off doing that, Daryl A. Jones's face appeared and
smiled at the group.
"Greetings TLK-L team. I have new information
to give you regarding the
missing cast." The group leaned forward to listen. "After some
investigations, we believe this to be the work of the Warner Brothers."
"And the warner sister!" someone called out.
After an uncomfortable pause,
"Errr, yes. Well, we have found that the cast
is being held at Pride Rock,
somewhere in the serengeti. I assume that you know where that
luck TLK-L team, bring them back safely." And the viewscreen went off.
turned with a smile,
"okay, so they're at Pride Rock, does anyone
know exactly where that is?"
A soniforous voice sang out cheerfully,
"Just around the river bend!!" Everyone turned
sharply to see who had sung
lines from the forbidden movie. "Pocahontas Rules!" the mysterious
I'll spare you the details about what happened
to that soul. But as a
hint, eating made everyone feel a bit more calm. I asked again.
"Okay, where's Pride Rock?" Looks were exchanged,
but no one could give
the exact coordinates. I sighed and glanced at the table. "Okay, Ryan,
have tons of fan-fics, surely one of them tells the exact location?"
was no answer, "Ryan?" I looks over, and there was Ryan, securely tied
chair and gagged, hile Rocio taunted him with a Scar Plushie. Not even
bothering to address it, I turned again.
"Brian, you have a big archive too. Any ideas?"
He shook his head as well.
I glanced over to Marcus Aanerud looking for an answer.
"Sorry, I've got a Mac." We all nodded, understanding
fully his dilemma.
Just when we thought we were stuck, the fanfic writers came through
and showed us where Pride Rock was. Before I could thank them, Ed,
John, and Dave Morris were back into their notepads, busily sketching
the next series of Fanfics. Now came the fun.
"Okay, we have to go in and get them. We can
parachute down from the TLK-L
private jet. Does it look okay to do that Ian?" Pausing for a moment,
shook his head.
"Absolutely not, it's unsafe and the weather
will not permit it." We all
smiled, with the full knowledge that the weatherman always gets it
backwards. I glanced about rapidly,
"Alright, who wants to go?"
"Hmm, what do you think Sarabiholics?" The
Sarafinaholics asked. The Old
Guard rose rapidly,
"We'll go!" Then the room was filled with
the sound of screaming newbies,
"Me too! Me too!"
"WHAT?!" grumbled Meetoo9, "Can't a guy go
to Disney for a few days and
not get called on every second when he gets back?" It might have gone
forever, had Chris Boyce not stood up
"Enough with the Me too's!!" he screamed.
It didn't take long, and I
hardly had to count. Everyone wanted to help save the beloved cast.
smiled, finally feeling that we were going to get somewhere.
"Alright everyone! To the TLK-L jet! We've
got a cast to save!"
TO BE CONTINUED....
Assignments were made quickly. After the assurance
from Rama that the
weather would be bad (meaning it would be good) we began loading things.
Fortunately, the TLK-L shopping spree produced enough plushies for
to enjoy their flight. We would have gotten underway sooner, but Brian
Ryan insisted that they print all the fanfics on their archives to
enough reading material. This idea was met with much disdain, because
although Ed had finished a marvellous Startrek/TLK crossover (whose
date is still a mystery) Trey, John, and Dave Morris had almost completed
another massive part of the Chronicles Series, which was anxiously
by all the members who were not in school and had to suffer through
The TLK-L plane is a marvel indeed. Although
no one wanted a black mane on
it, Margaret, Amy, Mike and Rocio all made such a fuss that the others
is slide. The plane's cabin was large enough to fit everyone necessary
it. After being sure that everyone got in the plane, I went to the
to talk to the nearly nonexistant Zazuaholics about our flight plan.
pretty straighforward: over the ocean, across Africa to the Pride Rock
off Mt Kilimanjaro, nothing but net. And all we had to do was land
and reclaim the place right?
Well, I went back into the cabin and things
were an absolute mess. The
Simbaholics were on top of the Nalaholics, the Mufasaholics sighed
Sarabiholics endured the indecisiveness of the Sarafinaholics while
Scaraholics were beating on the Hyenaholics who giggled like alcoholics.
This type of chaos was unexpected, so, pulling over Snowcat, I whispered
little something in his ear. He summoned the Grand Pumbaa, who quickly
calmed down the party by almost blowing out the plane.
When the air cleared and we all regained consciousness,
we had already
taken off and was above the ocean. It was time to start planning.
Gathering the group together in some semblance of order, we began to
discuss plans. Using a handy-dandy map drawn up by Trey, John, and
Morris during the 5 second break in writing where they eat, drink,
and use the bathroom, we began to pinpoint the important spots for
"Okay, the way I see it Pride Rock is here."
I said pointing, "Any ideas
on how we can deploy for the drop, Dave?" I immediatly tried to correct
myself, but then about fifty Daves began talking all at once. I groaned
looked at the camera, "Is it just me, or is this joke getting old?"
Glover stood up,
"It doesn't matter. We are the Daves, you
will all be assimilated." This
statement got a loud ovation from the daves.
"Attaboy! Attaboy! Long live the daves!" I
glanced to Chris Boyce, who
just shook his head and elected not to address this one. Before peace
be acheived, Rocio ran across the room, screaming at the balloon attatched
to her collar while Ryan danced around very much pleased. I would have
collapsed about then, but whatever Dave Cleary slipped me to drink
me with a sudden energy I hadn't felt before. Over the intercom I heard,
"Would somebody get to the northern border
of the plane? Something is
going on down there." I rose and sighed before my arm was quickly grabbed
by a Mufasaholic.
"That's beyond our borders, you must never
go there Simba."
"But I thought.." I cut myself off and blinked.
"Almost got me there. No,
i have to go." Joe McCauley accosted me on my way out.
"Whatever happens, take responsibility." politely
nodding, I rushed to the
back of the ship to see what was rocking the boat. Opening the door
rear cabin, I observed several TLKers reenacting scenes from 'Acceptance'
with lust sized Nalas. Sighing, I called on my expert moralist.
"Rama! I need your help!" Ian quickly scrambled
over (poke poke at an old
"You will STOP this useless mating of plushies!"
he said with a tone of
authority. I left, not knowing that he had slipped in for a little
fun too, there was still planning that had to be done. I reentered
much discussion, as usual most of it was not about TLK. I went over
window, where a lone newbie was sitting.
"What are you up to Ndoto?"
"Just...dreaming..." he sighed absently.
"Uhh, yep..well, I hope you come up with something."
I said coming back to
the group. Several listers had just cut down Ryan Mcginnis, who was
suspended by his neck a few inches off the ground with a balloon
skillfully tied by Rocio. Dave Cleary, Logozo, and Snowcat were looking
inspiration from the sacred wine. It was Dukat who finally came out
ever pensive silence and created a marvellous plan of attack, to which
entire plane went into an uproar.
"Attaboy Dukat! Attaboy!" And for once, no
one was upset over the
"Coming into Pride Rock area!" The voice blared
over the intercom. I
"This is it team! Get ready!" The whole plane
when into a hustle as
Margaret, Amy, Mike and Rocio lead the plane in a rousing version of
Prepared'. Donning our parachutes, we lined up and got ready to make
Everyone was ready to go, until screams from a small
panther cub caught out
attention. It seemed that Mahadri had taken it upon himself to play
on Wembly by pinning him to the floor with some Stick-o-Cub. After
dislodging the poor thing, we all were ready and made our jumps.
The Pride Rock area flew up quickly at us
as we descended upon the bright
African savannah. As a group, we all deployed our parachutes, beautiful
unfurling sails with TLK-L Team written around the fringe in bright
Through the whipping wind I could hear a familiar
AIEEEEE as Rocio's
parachute turned out to be a large balloon. I sighed as the ground
rapidly. Hopefully, the cast was alright....
TO BE CONTINUED...
On the ground we quickly got rid of the 'chutes
and gathered to put our
plan into action. Unfortunately, my calculations were wrong, and Pride
was just an inch away....
That is of course, if you are on a map where an inch means about 5
Still, the silohette was visible in the background, and, as encouragingly
as I could, I rallied the group.
We got up and began moving. However once again,
Wembly's screams for help
reached our ears. The little panther cub was stuck to a tree this time,
with the residue of that Stick-o-Cub. Muttering various explicatives
would be best left out of this so far G-rated story ;)) we extracted
and cleaned him off, while giving Mahadri a stern lecture on the ethics
On the way, Gema, TxTimon, MS DIANA KELLOGG
DIONNE, and several of the
lurking Timonaholics led the group in a stirring version of Hakuna
Matata, which kept spirits up on the hike.
We were just entering the 5th round of the
song when a shotgun blast burst
over our heads and sent us all to the ground. Glancing up, I could
had made it to enemy territory. Through the haze I could see a figure
standing before us with the weapon, and she called out in an annoyed
"Ehhh- enough with the singin' already!" Jespah,
who obviously knew
something about the warner characters, whispered to me.
"It's Slappy squirrel. She's a mean old-"
but my ears cut him off for what
he was saying next. Somehow we had to get by this fur and find the
whispered to the group,
"Okay, we need a diversion." Gema, TxTimon,
and Timon got up and yelled
"What do you want us to do?? Dress in drag
and do the hula?" They were
quickly brought back under cover by a blast from Slappy's shotgun.
the idea was tempting, the moral advice from Ian (poke poke at an old
;)) was to spare the unneccesary loss of life. Then, without warning,
had an idea.
Gathering the FCOS members, he asked them
to summon the Grand Pumbaa, who
subdued Slappy and a few unfortunate bushes in the process. Thinking
it more, it might have been best to not call him. He was getting tired
saving our AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
At the scream, we looked over, expecting Ryan
and Rocio to be at it again.
However this time is was Nala_ screaming something very un-ladylike
her computer that she left on at home. Deciding not to waste anymore
we quickly captured Slappy in an attempt to find out where the characters
"Where's the TLK cast?" I demanded. She looked
at me strangely
"You remind me of a very young Tiger Prince..."
Taken aback a bit, but not
giving up we tried to get her to talk but to no avail. Nala was the
finally came up with the best idea. She looked at Slappy,
"If you don't tell us where they are, I'm
gonna do something to your
nuts..." Slappy blinked.
"You heard me, your nuts." She noticed the
bands of Nalaholics suddenly
giggling and muttering invitations to do something with..(there goes
that G-rating ;)). She growled and then decided to make them grow up
"I'll take all your nuts, and smash them, grind
them, crush them to a
pulp." she said to Slappy, while emphasizing the verbs carefully to
After a large number of Nalaholics defected
to other -holics, Slappy
broke down, not wanting all her nuts to be squashed.
"They're all split up okay?" We found out
from the old squirrel the
following info which Snowcat quickly took down according to Slappy's
The Goodfeathers got 'the babbling blue bird', Pinky
and the Brain were
holding 'Scar and Sarafina', Dr. Scratch'n'snifflewhatchamahoocie had
'blue butted baboon' (ooh! alliteration :)), Ralph was holding the
'slobbering, mangy, stupid poachers', 'some guy with the last name
watching Timon and Pumbaa, 'that crazy CEO guy' was holding Mufasa
Sarabi, while the Warner Brothers had Nala, and the warner sister had
Simba. We even managed to squeak where they were out of Slappy after
made an example of a Nalaholic that got too close.
Needless to say, we were all ready to go.
We split into our respective
groups. Sadly Jeff Dearman was stuck inbetween because of his status
SarabiNala'finaholic, not to mention Kublia, our very own Shingalanaholic.
"Okay everyone. Lets get the cast out of here."
Leaving Jeff to watch over the three writers and the unfortunate (and
unnamed) Nalaholic, we all hiked off in our separate directions, eager
we might have finally come to the end of our quest.
TO BE CONTINUED....
To make a long story short (there's a paradox
if I ever wrote one ;))
Here's a breakdown of what happened as was reported.
Paavo "Rainbow Rat" Hartikainen saved Zazu from the Goodfeathers
little trouble. Acting 'coo' made it easy, especially because one bird
insisted on attacking the other. It was no trouble to get the disgruntled
hornbill away from them. The situation was similar with the hyenas
LuvLionKing led a group in against the guard. The 'slobbering mangy
poachers' already had things under control, and were roasting Ralph
spit. Banzai looked at the group that had come to rescue them and pointed
"Pretty impressive isn't he?" Which sent he
whole group into a fit of
giggles, especially Ed, who already had been unable to contain his
and a few other things...
Metutu dragged Meetoo and Meetoo9 along after
Rafiki. Not wanting a
character from a major work to go down, John and Dave Morris added
footnote to the group. (note: the two authors got the details flawlessly,
but due to the sheer size they had to be cut down, especially when
promised a sequel). In short, Dr. Scratch'n'sniff was discussing philosophy
with Rafiki, who was driving him crazy!
"No! No!" he yelled, "You are a baboon! A
baboon!!!" However Rafiki calmly
continued to sing,
"Asante Sana Squash Banana.." and on and on
this went, until finally the
team broke in. Prepared for an organized assault, he dropped nets on
group and gave them all big rasberries. It was about this time that
burst from the cage with a great karate yell. Then, Rafiki-<this
snipped from the notes to save a long detailed account of the fight>-and
Scratch'n'sniff was tied up neatly in the corner. If it had not been
John and Dave Morris, Metutu and Meetoo9 might have convinced them
go to Disney and spend all their money. Of course, Metutu would have
borrow just a little bit...
In the jungle (the mighty jungle), the Timonaholics
led by Gema, TxTimon, MS DIANA KELLOGG DIONNE(MDKD) were en route. The
FCSO came along, getting a hint from the
Grand Pumbaa in the form of a scent. They pushed aside a bush and got
glimpse of what was there. Timon was suspended by his tail with tape
his mouth next to a large figure. However Pumbaa was nowhere to be
"Gee, this Boo guy looks awfully big..."
"He's a chicken! A giant chicken I tell you!"
was the emphatic whisper of
a Timonaholic in the back. The plan was that all of them would run
three and jump the big guy. However, Logozo jumped in first, and quickly
dispatched the Boo character (and seriously discouraged the other listers)
with his SPAM weapondry. Because of his onslaught, there was not enough
(band)width to get everyone though, so a few actually had to stay in
bushes. In the end, it was discovered that it WAS a giant chicken,
Gema's surprise. While TxTimon produced a bar-B-Q and some cooking
MDKD cut down Timon.
"Don't eat me! Eat the pig!" was the first
thing out of Timon's mouth. The
group blinked, and after a long explaination of who they were and why
were there, Timon finally loosened up. "Hey...that's pretty cool! I
own fan club!" he looked around, "Err, you guys may not know this but
I'm.." he was cut off but a rustle in the bushes, through which Pumbaa
rapidly jumped out of, very much angry.
"So you were going to sell me out eh?!?!"
there was a collective groan at
another T+P plot. Of course, Pumbaa changed the script a little...To
the horrible details of this encounter, let me just say that the
Timonaholics _still_ have a special seat downwind and at the end of
TLK-L meeting table. As for the FCOS, well, Snowcat is planning to
official FCOS gass masks(pumbaa gass is two s'es for obvious reasons)
Dave Cleary was only able to stay conscious through drinking the last
the sacred wine. When asked why he didn't ask first, all Pumbaa could
was: Oh...sowwy. His comment has yet to help eliminate the scent.
The Mufasa/Sarabiholics had an easy time of
getting into the CEO's
building because it was still early and dark. Unfortunately, the many
breaks where they <unsure scrawls here, looks more like a few stains>
slowed them down considerably. The first clue to thier proximity happened
when someone twisted their ankle in a large paw print. Mr. Plotz was
overjoyed at his two captives in a cage.
"After i sell you do Disney, I'll have more
money than I could ever
dream." While he cackled evilly, Mufasa looked at Sarabi.
"What are we going to do dear?" She glanced
at him sarcastically,
"Before sunrise he's YOUR problem." Suddenly,
the combined forces of the
Sarabi and Mufasaholics took over the area, sending the silly CEO through
the window and bouncing over the horizon.
"We're here to get you out," a Mufasaholic
"Com'on, hurry." motioned a Sarabiholic. The
two caged lions looked at
"Hmm, what do you think Sarabi?" Mufasa rumbled.
Sarabi gave him a quick
fwap of her paw.
"Don't you start on me too."
The Scaraholics and Sarafinaholics battled
all the way to the Acme Labs.
For some reason, the raging debate dealt mostly with fatherhood and
responsibility for Nala. Notes indicate '<smudge> Donor' was mentioned
several times. Anyhow, upon entering there was little resistance. Even
split, the Daves were formidable, and quickly assimilated most of the
There was a high pitched giggle followed by
an unmistakably "NARF" that
drew the attention of the group. Slipping around the corner they could
two cages, a large one in which Pinky was sitting with Sarafina, and
another cramped one with Scar in it. Brain was outside the cage, poking
Scar incessantly with a stick.
"Why does she get the big cage and I get this?"
Scar grumbled squirming at
being tormented so much, "its just not fair."
"Life's not fair is it?" Brain said in a sultry
tone while chewing his
mouse-sized gum, "Besides you black maned freak, there's not a mouse
world that would give a lion the comfort of a large cage, besides my
over there..." he said indicating Pinky. At this point Brain made two
mistakes. The insult to Scar was one, and secondly, he had the misfortune
of popping his gum loudly.
Thinking it to be a balloon, Rocio flew into
a rage, grabbing the mouse
and shaking him until his little mousy brains ran out of his ear. Margaret,
Amy, and Mike hurried over to the cramped lion.
"Don't worry, we're here to help." Scar rolled
"Oh Good-ee." he said sardonically, causing
the majority of Scaraholics to
faint. Mwongozi moved over to the larger cage and looked a bit shocked.
the Sarafinaholics were quite suprised at what they saw. Sarafina was
obviously enjoying Pinky.
"So what do you think Pinky?" At which the
mouse would sputter some
absurdity that would make sense only to someone on catnip. The lioness
laughed to see such sport and the dish ran away with the spoon. (its
notes I swear)
Must be a Warner Brothers thing..
I will transcribe what happened to the Simba/Nalaholics
especially since it was such a large group and I was actually there.
first major challenge was getting to Pride Rock. There were anvils
everywhere. Half the Nalaholics were taken out by anvils, and other
assorted falling objects. Others fell back because they were suddenly
overcome with a strange urge, (one we later found out to be catnip
The remaining group included a few Daves,
one Ed Debuse, one Nimrod Carmi
(who seemed a bit off because he was introduced to the sacred wine),
Nalas, Kublia (he did help us track down Nala, after all he does clean
claws) and a few other stragglers. The sight was enough to make one
The Warner Brothers sat transfixed at Nala, panting and whistling
hooting if she would move as much as her tail. The Warner Sister, had
'accidentally' locked herself in the cage with Simba, who was obviously
distraught at her repeated kisses. I stepped into the main cave, covered
the rest of the group.
"Hold it right there Warners!" I said authoritatively.
Glancing at the
'camera' they all pointed to a piece of smelly cheese, which in retrospect
I think was a good opinion about that line. They threw it away and
"And why should we?" Asked Yakko, quickly
followed up by Wakko and an
"Because we've come for Simba and Nala." Ed
Debuse said. He was nudged by
"Nala and Simba..."
"Whatever." At this point the Warners raced
about us and tied us up
quickly. After the cloud cleared, we were pretty much stuck. Dot took
break from tormenting Simba who seemed quite jittery after the ordeal.
Yakko was gabbing some diatribe to Wakko and Dot, while drawing a giant
on the ground. My only thought was that we were going to get anviled
death, right in front of Nala.
"Nala! Help!" I called. Nala sighed...
"Oh boys?" she winked from the cage, turning
about sensuously. The two
were riveted to the spot.
"Hellooooooo Nala!!" They cried. Who would
hae thought it? the Warner
Brothers, Nalaholics. Then again, who can blame them? While Dot commented
on the hormonal imbalance of boys, Wembly, who had snuck in silently,
quickly added some Stick-O-Cub to the Warner's feet. While they struggled
to get out, Wem cut us free.
"Hey! You can't do this, this is our show!"
The Warners complained. While
the others freed the two lions, I pointed dramatically at them,
"As long as the TLK-L team is around, no one
is going to push around TLK."
Wakko produced a large piece of cheese for the group to point at. Upon
motion, I rapidly dropped the anvils on them, feeling somewhat fulfilled.
It was all downhill from here. All we had
to do was meet up again at the
rendevous point. The mission had been successful, and the TLK characters
recovered. I could tell as we headed back, that everything was going
okay. Besides the inevitable conflict when Mufasa and Scar get back
together, not to mention that Simba and Nala were so happy to be back
together, they repeatedly delayed the reunion with the group to catch
personal things. There were very few complaints from the Nalaholics,
TO BE CONCLUDED...
There was much joy in the black maned TLK-L
jet as we headed for home.
There was not one person on the plane who did not have someone to go
The TLK characters, almost taken aback at such a large loyal following,
were very grateful for the help, and proceeded to thank us all profusely.
Among the most effective was Nala and Scar, although the other characters
were kept busy as well. All in all, everyone fulfilled their dreams
ride back, and many questions were answered. A memorable time indeed.
However the trip back brought out some of the worst
in people, especially
when the truth was made known about quite a few things. Upon returning
characters ro a safer place, the team was bustling with nervous excitement
about the recent mission. Some came out heros, and others just came
Several chose to hop on soapboxes and give long-winded diatribes about
events. And others, chose to pick up their weapons. Sadly I looked
do the words of one person mean to the masses who are too intent on
losing face? A bit heavy hearted, I called the meeting to order.
"Alright everyone! We have to bring this thing
to a close!" There was
silence for a moment, and I began to speak. "Thank you all for coming
on this grand adventure. It has been an honor to work with you and
you. And although we have lost a few along the way, lets not have them
forgotten, lets move on in the memory that they moved on to find a
realm where the light of TLK can stand once again." I sat halfheartedly,
not expecting what I said to make any difference. Then another voice
"You know, he's right..."
"Absolutely, well said..."
"Watership down is cool!" We all stopped and
looked at the newbie. Once
again, the subject had been broken. There was the sound of shuffling,
"Well, I guess I should get back to the home."
"Yeah, I left my stupid Computer on again."
"And I have to compose more music." Dave Cleary
"I gotta check on the TLK web ring." mentioned
"I have to plan for the next FCOS sale." commented
"I think I'll just leave." Brian mumbled.
The room slowly began to
disengage and move to their respective chutes to head back to real
Suddenly, I was compelled to say something.
"Wait a moment!" I called, stepping down into
the group. Once there, all
eyes turned to me and for a moment, ther was peace in listening.
"Do you realize what has just happened here?"
the looks between each other
made all the point they needed to. "Look at it. There was an outside
and we all came together to confront it. For a moment in time, we were
one. the Nalaholics, Simbaholics, Hyenaholics, (Taka)Scaraholics,
Mufasaholics, Sarabiholics, Sarafinaholics, lurkers, newbies, eveyone!
all came together and fought this thing together. Like a family.."
paused, to reflect.
"Don't you see? Even though we've fought and
flamed and beaten each other
verbally until we want to cry, we still are together. We can still
the banner that formed out team in the first place, TLK. And if this
people can come together, with all their ideas, comments, backgrounds,
nationalities and be successful, then there MUST be something right
what we do here. There is honor in it." once again, I paused, and sighed
"I may not be the greatest speaker in the
world, nor perhaps qualified to
have you even listen to me. But you all are like a family, and when
something attacks one of us it hurts us all. So as we go back to our
separate lives, lets try to remember that we are together in something
than just word. Remember what we've accomplished here, and remember
right alongside you in the endeavour."
I finished, half unsure, half emotional, and
half- wait, that's all the
halves I have :p. But the silence that came after, and then the smiles
were exchanged among those still there were worth the entire experience.
Perhaps for once something had gotten past all our thick skulls, and
took an outside force to bring us together. Once again all was peace
the TLK-L team was whole.
That is...until I decided to pull out all that merchendise from my
The scuffle was hardfought over the Nala plushies,
and I could hear a lot
of sharp things said. Through it all, as I stood back and watched I
forced to laugh. The truth was already evident even if it was forgotten
quickly. The TLK-L team was special because no matter how bad it gets,
always gets better. No matter how hot the flames get, we all had the
to know when to cool down. And when nobody else could do it, we could
always call on the others to help.
As I slipped into my chute, I smiled. it had
been a great adventure, and I
learned a lot. Besides, I had to get home. I had a therapy appointment
my shoulder with Nurse Nala.
Oh and one more thing, my shoulder never felt better :)