From: "Jim Cady" Subject: She Loves Me (A Nuka Story) (Spoiler Warning) Date: Mon, 02 Nov 1998 23:48:59 PST She Loves Me by Jim Cady I looked up in silent horror as I realized that I could not escape the falling logs. My spirit was crushed as I realized I had failed, failed her. Everything I had ever done I had done for her. I loved my mother more than anything but she never loved me. I tried oh I tried so hard to be a good son, believe me I tried. The only times she ever noticed I existed were to tell me how stupid or ugly I was, and I suppose she was right. I just thought if I could do better maybe she...maybe she could love me- "Ahhhhh" I screamed as the heavy logs crushed my body as the failure had crushed my spirit. The pain burned in every part of my body as the tears streamed down my face. In my mind I was screaming "Mommy where are you? Help me, mommy, mommy..." but the words just wouldn't come out. I tried to get up but the logs had me pinned. All I could do was wait in the darkness as my silent tears mixed with the blood that was collecting in a pool on the logs. Where was she? She wouldn't leave me alone in the dark. I have always been afraid of the dark ever since I was a cub. She always thought I was weak and yet she always let me sleep beside her when I got afraid. That was the only way I could be calm in the face of the darkness. She knows how much it scares me. Where is she now? I need her to be here. I can't stand it anymore. Its so dark and cold. At least the pain is gone I can't feel anything anymore except for the cold. I never felt cold when I rested against Mom on those dark nights. She always kept me warm and her heart beat would lull me to sleep. On those nights long ago I could almost believe that she loved me. Suddenly from up above comes a bright flash of light as the logs above my head are thrown aside. The light momentarily blinds me but when my sight returns I see that she is standing there looking down at me. I knew she wouldn't leave in the darkness. "Nuka" I hear her say. I knew what was coming I had failed again. "I tried, mother. I tried." I forced out in a gasp. Then she reached out lovingly with her paw and caressed my face tenderly and wiped away the blood and the tears. My tears just kept coming, but not tears for fear or pain but of joy. She loved me, she never said it, but I could see throughout the tears that had welled up in her eyes. She just held me as I closed my eyes and sighed for joy. I just surrendered to the darkness. I was no longer afraid because I knew, finally knew that she loved me.