All
characters in this story belong to Samuel Reiman and Kovukono, and are not to
be used without the permission of the writers. E-mails may be sent to srreimanabroad@aol.com and conor0191@aol.com.
I Don’t Love You
Weusi
looked into the empty den with appraising eyes. It could only hold about ten full-grown lions, not that they had ten full-grown lions at that time. She looked back at Jabari, his cold
green eyes staring at the den as well as his red mane twitched slightly in a
breeze.
“This
one seems nice,” she said, her voice happy.
“No,”
said Jabari, his voice flat and final.
“Oh,
but please?” asked Weusi. She went
into the den, looking around at it. “It seems like such a nice place.”
“It’s
too big. We don’t need it.”
“It
just gives us room to grow,” she said, her voice beginning to lose some of the
happy glow it had. “When we get a
few cubs, this place could be perfect. We could start a whole pride, right—”
“I
said no.” Slight anger had entered his voice.
“But
we have to think of the future, dear, and make sure we give our cubs somewhere
they’ll enjoy, and be happy and—and maybe we could even start a kingdom
here—”
“We
are not picking this den. That’s
final. I don’t like it.”
“But—but
Jabari, please—can’t we get something I—”
“Final!”
“But—Jabari
. . .” All of the false, cheery
happiness that had been in her voice was gone. Tears began to form in her beautiful green eyes, eyes that
seemed almost crystalline in their beauty. “Jabari, please, I just want a home so much. We’ve
been moving everywhere and there’s been so little rest and I’m just so tired of it Jabari, I really am, of all of it. I just want to stop and settle down and
be normal. I just want a good life for us and our
cubs and—”
“We
have no cubs,” said Jabari. “No
one but us.” His tone almost
seemed to suggest he’d rather keep it that way. “What’s with your obsession with cubs lately?”
Weusi
looked at the ground, afraid to say it. She didn’t know how he’d react. “Jabari . . . I—I think I’m pregnant.”
Jabari
stared at her for a moment, then turned out of the den, swearing. Weusi felt a tear slide down her face as
she watched him. That hadn’t been
what she wanted at all. She walked
out to him, worried.
“Please,”
she said, “don’t be mad at me.” Jabari
said nothing, looking away from her. “I—I don’t know if I really am. I just—I thought
you’d be happy. You could have a
son, and . . . and . . .” She
could see her words were getting nowhere. “Please,” she said, “I love you. Don’t you love me?”
“Yeah,”
he said. “Sure.”
“Jabari
. . .” His words had never sounded
this false before.
Jabari
sighed and turned to her. He
tipped her chin up to hers with a paw. “Really, I love you,” he said. “I married you, right? I don’t make mistakes.” He smiled. She smiled, too. He was happy. “This
just . . . it kind of snuck up on me. I wasn’t expecting it.” He turned away, the smile fading. “I’ve just got a lot on my mind. You, and the rainy season coming up, and now this . . .” He shook his head. “Gods damn it!”
“I—I
just wanted you to be . . . happy.” She hung her head. It always seemed so hard for her to satisfy him. She tried so hard, she knew she did. But she just wanted cubs so much, and she had known he’d be
happy to hear about it. But all
she’d done was screw up again. “I
promise they won’t be that much trouble,” she said earnestly. “And besides, we don’t know; I may not
be pregnant. I’ll try to make it
better, really.”
Jabari
stood there, staring out over the savannah. He could tell she was trying. It just didn’t seem to ever turn out right. She could do nothing correct for him, it seemed sometimes. But she tried, he had to give her that. He could indulge her, just a little bit.
“We can stay here tonight,” he
said.
“What?”
she asked, ears perking up. “You
mean, in this den?”
“Yes.”
“Oh,
Jabari!” She wrapped a foreleg
around him enthusiastically in a hug. “Thank you!”
He
pushed her away slightly to look her in the eyes. “But only tonight. I don’t want to hear complaints tomorrow.”
“Oh,
you won’t, I promise!” Weusi
turned back to the den, saying how happy she was.
He
could tell from the way she began to dream out loud about what a perfect little
place it was that she wouldn’t leave quietly tomorrow. He’d say it was time, and she’d want to
stay, and he would insist. And she
would beg him, and he would have to beat her, and they would move on.
It
seemed that it never ended, all of her begging, and her attempts to please him,
and his pleading with her and all of that beating that was needless, if only
she would listen. He sighed. He wished it would work out. He hoped it would. She was, after all, his mate.
The
morning came. They hadn’t spoken
another word to each other during the rest of the night. They needn’t have to anyways; they both
knew what the other one was thinking.
Weusi dreamed peaceful dreams, Jabari didn’t dream at all.
He
had stayed awake most of the night.
All the traveling that he had been doing with Weusi was starting to get
to him too. But the problem for
him was her. She wasn’t going to learn. And her constant whining and daydreaming out loud . . . he didn’t know why he was still with her. Weusi wanted to stay and he wanted to
leave, the opportunity had always been there for him. When he married her he had
been so close to Weusi, but now it seemed
there was no connection between them.
The
lands suddenly became illuminated by the sun’s red glare. There was the whole savannah in front
of him. Freedom. There was no one out there to care for,
no one to argue with. If Weusi
wanted to see him happy she should’ve seen him then.
But
Weusi was still asleep. Jabari’s
best opportunity was now, and he knew it.
But as he got up and started to walk off, that ever-irritating voice
sounded from behind him.
“Jabari,
where are you going?”
“I’m
leaving, Weusi.”
“Leaving?” She got up. “But, Jabari, can’t we stay here – please?”
“You
get to stay here.” He added, “I’m
leaving.”
“When
will you be back?”
“I’m
not coming back,” he said sternly.
“It’s just better this way.”
“No!” She ran and stood in front of him,
trying to block his path. “Jabari,
please don’t leave. I love you.”
“I
love you too, Weusi.” His tone
continued to sound otherwise. “But
I just think it’s better this way.
You want to stay here don’t you?”
“Yeah,
but I’d rather be with you.” Tears
started to form in her eyes.
“Jabari, I’ll come with you.”
“That’s
beside the point, Weusi.” His
voice started to get angry again.
“I’m not leaving to find a better home; I’m leaving to find a better
mate! One who doesn’t complain and daydream all the time, and actually
knows how to face reality! And you
are going to stay here.”
“But
why?” asked Weusi, failing to believe what he was saying.
“Because—”
He stopped. Maybe it was best if he done this at
her level. “Listen, Weusi. I’m tired of being around you, I’m
tired of having to listen to you, and I just want a break from it.”
“You
will come back though, won’t you?”
Jabari
sighed; whether what he was about to say was the truth or not, it would at
least cease her questioning. “Yes,
Weusi, I’ll come back.”
“You
promise?”
“Yes,
Weusi, I promise.” He wanted to
walk off, but he knew Weusi wasn’t going to let him. “Listen, Weusi…how about I try and find a place that we can
live while I’m gone, and then when I come back, you can follow me there and
we’ll live there together. Would
you like that?”
Weusi
remained down-hearted about him leaving her,
but she still was able to give a faint nod of the head.
“Good,”
he said. “I’ll see you
later.” He started to walk off
again.
“Jabari?”
He
stopped again, trying not to let his irritation show. “Yes?”
“You’ll
be back soon, won’t you?”
He
looked back at her. “Do you want
me to find this perfect place or not?”
“I
guess so,” she replied quietly, knowing what he was about to say.
“Then
probably not. But I will come
back, you can count on that.” He smiled at her again, she smiled
back.
Just to see him smile, she thought. He will come back, I know he will.
Jabari
lapped up water thirstily. Three
days ago he had picked a direction and started walking. It wasn’t that bad, traveling. The only thing that really amazed him
was that he missed having company. Not her company; she
could make a rock talk back with the way she blathered on. But just someone to converse with. It wasn’t such a bad thing to want, was
it?
But
other than that, it was so much better. No whining, no nagging, no “Can we do this?” Jabari stopped
drinking and almost chuckled quietly. The little fool actually thought he’d be coming back. That was one of the perks of being out
here; he didn’t have to reflect on making the mistake of marrying her.
But
if she’s pregnant . . .
That
thought kept on slipping into his mind, completely unbidden. What do I care? She’s not my problem anymore.
Do
you think she can take care of cubs?
It’s
called natural selection.
She’s
at the bottom of the food chain. She can’t hunt and mother and
worry all at one time.
She’ll
find another mate in no time at all.
She
has to realize you’re not coming back first.
Jabari
just wanted to get rid of that annoying little voice. He had an increasing suspicion that it
was called a conscience. Thankfully,
though, it was an annoying little voice.
It didn’t take much more than
looking around at all of the choices, all the ways to start over again without her, to drown it out.
He
could do better than her this time around. He could join a pride, if one would have him. Or he could even take over a pride, make
it his own. Or he could simply
find another mate, and he could try it that way again. He was momentarily annoyed by the
indecision he had. Then he smiled.
This wasn’t indecision; this was freedom.
Weusi
lied on the floor of her den, waiting. There wasn’t that much for her to do, other than to wait and
hunt for food. On the other paw,
she was almost sure she was pregnant now. When she checked her features in a pond, it showed a stomach
that had almost undeniably expanded. She smiled when she saw that. She didn’t know how long she had carried; she could have
caught right before Jabari left, or, she thought with happy excitement, it
could have happened as long as two months ago.
She
did her utmost to make sure she was in good health; never before had she paid
so much attention to hunting. She
couldn’t afford injuries. She
would try to get the best buck she could without putting herself at undue risk.
She would eat as much of the
carcass that she could, happily reminding herself she was eating for two now,
or maybe three, or maybe even four. She knew Jabari would be happy when he came back, she just
knew it.
She
missed him horribly. There was no
one to talk to, although she had been visited twice by a very nice leopardess,
although the leopardess seemed to doubt her sanity a bit. “He’ll come back for me,” she would tell
her, and would always receive answers such as, “What if he didn’t?”
But
then she saw a wonderful thing on the horizon. A small figure, moving toward the den steadily. Weusi looked at it hopefully. The figure became more and more distinct
as it moved toward her. Weusi
stared at it, her excitement rising. Yes, it was big, and—and it was coming here, definitely
here—and a mane!
“Jabari!”
Weusi cried happily. She began to
run him. “Jabari, I’ve missed you
so—” She stopped, seeing the
figure up close for the first time. “You’re not Jabari,” she said quietly.
The
lion blinked. “I certainly hope
not. I’d like to know when my name’s changed.” He smiled at Weusi. “No, I’m Bagra. And you are . . .”
“Weusi.”
Weusi looked away. “I was almost sure . . .”
“Sure
of what?” Bagra asked kindly.
“That
you were . . . him. Jabari.”
“Who’s
he?”
“He’s
my mate,” said Weusi.
“And
he left?”
“Uh-huh.
But he’ll be back,” said Weusi
firmly. “He said so.”
“Oh.
I just came this way. I was
looking for a place to spend the night, and I saw that rock over there, thought
it might be big enough to have a cave.”
“It
does have one. It’s where we live.”
Bagra’s
eyes widened. “I beg your pardon. I didn’t know . . . I should find
another spot then, right? It was
nice to meet you, Weusi. I hope
your mate comes back soon.” Bagra
turned to go.
“Oh,
but you don’t have to go!” said Weusi. “There’s plenty of room in the den. Come on, I’ll—” She stopped as she felt a sudden drop of
rain hit her head. There was
another, and another.
“Bugger,”
grumbled Bagra as the sky suddenly released what looked like its full load of
rain. “I was hoping it’d hold.”
“Come
on!” yelled Weusi, running back toward the den. Bagra didn’t need to be told twice. By the time the two reached the den,
both were soaked by the sudden downpour and Bagra’s mane was limp around his
neck. Both tried to shake themselves
dry as the entered the den, then they lied down.
“I’ll
leave as soon as it’s over,” Bagra promised.
“You
can stay if you want,” said Weusi. “I’m sure Jabari wouldn’t mind too much.”
Bagra
smiled. “Thank you, but . . .
well, it would look bad. For you.”
“No,
Jabari would understand, he knows I’d never lie to him. Oh, he’ll be so happy when he comes
back. He went to find a better
place to live. And he’ll be back
soon—well, maybe not soon, he said it would take a while—but he’ll
come back and we can take our cubs over there and he’ll be so happy, I know he
will be.”
“Cubs?”
asked Bagra. “I didn’t see any.”
Weusi
giggled as she turned over onto her back. “Look.”
Bagra
looked at her stomach. Yes, it
really was bigger than normal. But
something else caught his eye, even more than the bulge. On her side were two long claw marks
that had healed, but the fur hadn’t quite grown back. He looked up at her face, seeing her
happy smile that she possessed whenever Jabari was brought up.
“Go
ahead, you can touch it,” she said. “I heard they kick when they’re in there.”
Bagra
shook his head. “No thanks. But . . . if you don’t mind me asking,
what’s that from?” He traced his
paw along the scars.
Weusi’s
face fell. “Jabari,” she said.
“Your
mate did this to you?”
“I
deserved it, though,” she said. “I
was being stupid, he said so. I
didn’t listen, so he beat me. I
needed it.” She spoke the last sentence with
conviction. “Jabari just wants the
best for me.”
Bagra
suddenly saw who he was talking to. Pieces began to fall into place with horrible realization. He saw how far Weusi was gone. She loved her mate unwaveringly, and he
. . . he had left her. It was the
only possible explanation. There
was nothing wrong with this den, nothing wrong with the lands around it. Jabari was gone, and here she was, with
his cubs inside her, waiting for her faithful lover to return. It broke Bagra’s heart.
“Why
don’t you tell me . . . tell me about where you came from?” he asked. “Your whole story?”
“I’ve
never had anyone ask me that before,” said Weusi, turning over. “Me and Jabari were in our own pride,
and we were just cubs together, and . . .” Bagra smiled. He
knew she would talk for hours.
“Jabari?”
the lioness asked. “That’s a nice
name; mine’s Ketisha, Keta for short.
So what brings you here?”
“I
was just traveling and I happened to see you. Do you live on your own or with a pride?”
“A
pride. We have a king and queen
and all that monarchal stuff. I’m not in it at all, really. Our king is Rajua and our queen’s Pinduli.”
“Do
you think they’ll let me stay?”
“I
should hope so; that’s what they did for me. Of course, you’re a male, but I think they’d rather live
with you than have to deal with the fact that you could attack them whenever
you want. You seem like you’re pretty strong.”
“Well,
when you’re a rogue like me you have to stay strong or anybody could kill you
within seconds.”
“Hmm. Well, come on Jabari, we can’t be
standing out here all day, follow me.”
Jabari
followed her without hesitation. Ketisha
was nothing like Weusi, and he was glad that he had found someone who wasn’t;
he had been in need of a companion for a while.
Rajua
and Pinduli gladly accepted him into their pride. Many of the others opposed their decision but out of good
hearts, or overcome by feelings of fear; the two did not go back on their
decision.
Over
the next few days they begun to feel more secure, Jabari did not seem to be a
threat to their reign or any other members of their pride. Jabari himself loving every moment that
he spent there. Everybody seemed
to know what they were on about, everybody listened if he, or someone else, said something, but most of
all, Jabari felt himself falling in love with Ketisha. She was sensible, she was strong, and
she didn’t aggravate him at all.
But most of all she was beautiful, and although Jabari had taught
himself not to be a fool for good looks, like he had with Weusi, Ketisha’s
charm and personality were just what he needed.
Ketisha
replaced Weusi, and soon he had almost completely forgotten about her. But that was before he met Juveda.
Rajua
and Pinduli had decided that it was best for them and Jabari himself, if they
went and showed him the lands and explained how they did everything. Although Ketisha had done her best at
making him settle in well, he knew that they would tutor him a lot more
efficiently than she had, just from their experience and position.
As
they took him around he noticed that many of them were on edge, not really
willing to accept him as a member of their pride.
Finally,
Pinduli said, “I think that’s about everyone.”
“Er…well,
there is one other lioness…but…” Rajua glimpsed over at Pinduli, wondering if
he should tell him or not.
“Who?”
asked Pinduli.
“You
know,” then in a whisper, “Juveda.”
“Oh.”
“Who’s
Juveda?” asked Jabari.
“I
guess we should tell you, just in case you stumble upon her one day when you’re
out and about. Come on.” Pinduli led them off across the plains. As far as
Jabari was concerned, Juveda could have lived in another pride with all
the distance they traveled.
Eventually, though, they arrived at a high hill with a cave buried at
the bottom of it.
“She
lives quite far away,” Jabari stated.
“She
likes to be alone. She only stays
with us so someone can catch her food and protect her,” Pinduli replied.
They
arrived at the den a few minutes later.
Jabari was told to wait outside while Pinduli and Rajua went in.
“Juveda,
we have a visitor for you,” he heard Rajua say.
“What
the—why the hell are you two here?
Just think you can walk in on me like that, do you? Whilst I’m asleep? Go on, get outside—be gone with
you!” came the reply.
He
was then met by the sight of Rajua and Pinduli walking out backwards by some
ragged lioness trying to swipe at them.
Juveda looked over at Jabari once she had them out.
“Is
this some kind of joke?” She turned back on the king and queen. “Think this is funny do you? That’s not him, I know it’s not him,
he’s a bloody rogue!” She jumped back around to Jabari, “What the hell are you
doing here? You think you can just
come right up here and expect me to be friends with you? You are not him and you never will
be! And you two should know that!”
She returned her gaze to Pinduli and Rajua, who gave in return stern faces that
showed no particular emotions, “Listen to me. I AM NOT—some kind of—thing—I have a heart you know, and it doesn’t need
to be twisted or broken any more than it already has been! You two are just so—” She started
to break down. “GO AWAY! Just go—away!” She then turned and walked into her
den, collapsing and sobbing inside.
“That’s
Juveda,” said Rajua, “Come on, let’s get out of here.”
Jabari
didn’t need to be told twice, he quickly caught up with them.
“She
didn’t know what she was saying, Jabari, just ignore whatever crap she comes up
with,” advised Pinduli.
“What
happened, did her mate leave her or something?”
“Yes,
sadly. She’s been like that ever
since he did: aloof, hysterical—just typical old Juveda.”
“Hmm,”
was Jabari’s only response. He had
not thought that much about Weusi recently, but what would she be like when, if
ever, she realized that he wasn’t coming back? Jabari hated thinking about it, but he couldn’t get the
question out of his head. He had
found the perfect place like he said he would, now, according to his “promise”,
he should return.
It
was late in the evening when Jabari caught up with Ketisha. He had decided that it was best if he
went back. He may regret ever
doing so, but it was better than having the mystery lie unanswered in his head.
“Jabari! I’ve been looking all over for you.”
“I’ve
been looking for you too, Keta.”
“Hey,
Jabari, I was wondering, I think we should make tonight somewhat—you
know—special. I want to spend the night here, just me and
you. We’ll have lots of fun together,”
she smiled, “Lots and lots of fun.”
“Yes
. . .well . . . Keta . . . I’m afraid that I have to go somewhere tonight.”
“Where?”
“Oh
. . . just to see a friend. She
lives nearby and I think I should go and see her.”
“There’s
no—relationship between you two, is there?”
“Not
exactly, I mean, she really likes me but I—she’s not as great as you, let’s
leave it at that.”
“Then
why worry? Come on Jabari, I’ve
been looking forward to tonight all day!
Please don’t let me down.”
“Sorry
Keta, I’m afraid I have to do it tonight.”
Ketisha
finally calmed down, “Have to?” Jabari
nodded his head slowly in response. “Oh darn it, I was really looking forward
to tonight. We can do it tomorrow
though, right?”
Jabari
sighed; he’d let her down enough, she didn’t need this. “I’ll be gone a few
days. I’m sorry, Keta.”
“I’ll
come with you then,” she suggested.
“Sorry,
that won’t work. It would be too
risky because this lioness – well – she really likes me. I doubt she’d appreciate your
presence.”
“Jabari,
you can’t leave me here on my own for that long. If you go, I go, if not we both stay. Clear?”
Jabari
looked down at her. Oh yes, she
was clear. But who did he really
want more?
Jabari
recognized the large rock easily. “That’s it,” he told Ketisha as he continued toward it.
“That
big thing?” asked Ketisha.
“Yeah.”
“You
made it sound like a pile of mud. Jabari,
that’s not too bad of a den.”
“It’s
too big. I just don’t like it.”
“I
do like home better,” admitted Ketisha.
“See?”
asked Jabari with a smile. Ketisha
smiled back. “We’ll take her back
with us. She’d like that.”
Ketisha
smiled and stepped closer to him. “Why
do I get the feeling you’re not telling me everything?”
Jabari
nuzzled her slightly. “Because I’m
not.”
“Jabari.”
“I’m
not sure you should know yet. It’s
just—I don’t know what you’d think.”
“I
think you already know what I think,” she said happily.
“We
can’t get married until we get back home,” he teased, and almost instantly felt
his insides twist.
“I’ve
told you,” Ketisha said, a note of seduction entering her voice, “we don’t have
to wait until we get home for everything.”
“Patience
is a virtue, little one,” said Jabari with a smile. He knew that Ketisha wasn’t kidding, though. Every night on the trip she had done her
best to have a “fun” night. Jabari
wasn’t exactly unwilling. He
hadn’t touched Ketisha, although the desire became stronger and stronger the
longer he stayed with her. He
half-hoped Weusi wasn’t here, so that tonight he could say firmly that she was
gone, that she had run off and there was no chance of finding her, and he could
turn to Ketisha and give in.
He
looked at the den and saw a figure standing in the entrance. As he got closer, he could see, as he
guessed it was, that it was a lioness. A little closer and he could see Weusi’s smiling face. She suddenly ran to him. When she reached him she nuzzled him
happily.
“I
knew you would come back,” Weusi purred happily.
“How
have you been?” asked Jabari. He
was surprised at the sudden rush of happiness he felt when she touched him. Then he saw Ketisha’s frown.
“I’ve
been great!” she said. “Here,
there’s something I want to show you in the den.” She began to go to it happily, then stopped and said “Come
on!” before continuing on her way. Jabari and Ketisha walked on to the den together.
“Friend,
huh?” said Ketisha in a low voice.
“I—I’ll
tell you everything later, Keta. Please,
just trust me.”
Ketisha
hmphed and continued to frown. Jabari felt that she had softened a little, though. The two walked to the den entrance, and Weusi called out
happily, “Okay, you can come out now.”
To
Jabari’s surprise, two cubs shuffled out of the den into the sunlight, a boy
and a girl. The first thing across
Jabari’s mind was how he was ever going to explain this to Ketisha. She would obviously know they were his;
the boy looked just like a miniature of him, save for the tail, which had an
end that looked like it had been in mud. The girl had a good deal of his looks,
too. Both had tan fur, the girl’s
being lighter than the boy.
“Wow,”
said Jabari. “I—wasn’t
expecting that. So . . . you were pregnant?”
“Uh-huh,”
said Weusi happily. “They came
just two months after you left.”
“So,
uh, what are their names?” asked Jabari, feeling Ketisha’s eyes burning holes
in his side.
“Well,
this one’s Aushi,” she said, indicating the girl, “and this one’s Ruya.”
“Good
names” was all Jabari could think to say.
“You
really think so?”
“Sure.”
“Mommy,
who’re they?” asked Aushi in the way that a cub had of bluntly asking
questions.
“This
is your father, Aushi. He finally
came back. And this is—who is she, Jabari?”
“Her?
Oh, that’s Ketisha. She’s from the pride that I found.”
“You
found that perfect place?” asked Weusi excitedly.
“Yeah.”
“That’s
wonderful! Do you think we should
go today, or start tomorrow?”
“Uh,
I don’t know. Tomorrow, I guess.” Jabari began to head for the den,
looking at the cubs. Both of them
stared at him. Everything would
have been normal, except for them, he reflected. They didn’t know what to make of him. He was a stranger.
He
encountered another shock as he walked into the den. He looked back at Weusi and asked, “Who the hell is this?”
“Jabari!”
said Weusi. “Don’t curse around
the cubs!”
“Who
is this?”
Weusi
joined him in the entrance of the den. “That’s Bagra,” she said. “He’s been so helpful while you’ve been gone. He’s helped with the cubs and the
hunting and everything. He’s been
so nice to me—”
“I’ll
bet he has,” said Jabari, icy tones in his voice.
“Please,”
said Bagra, obviously knowing what Jabari was seeing, even if Weusi didn’t, “it
wasn’t like that. She just needed
help—”
“And
you helped her. I see.” Jabari turned to Weusi, slightly
surprised to see that the bitterness in his voice wasn’t all faked. “Been enjoying your new mate?”
Weusi’s
jaw literally dropped. “Jabari,
I—no! Jabari, it isn’t like that, please, you have to believe me. Please Jabari, I love you, you know that. He hasn’t done anything like that with me. He’s
just helped me.”
“Don’t
lie to me,” said Jabari, anger brimming in his voice.
Weusi
knew what would happen. The time that had gone by had only made the memories of the
beatings seem so much worse now. “Jabari—Jabari, please—we didn’t do
anything—I swear we never did!” She was close to tears.
Bagra
also saw the potential threat. “Jabari
. . . if I could just talk with you? Alone?”
Jabari
turned to Bagra with a glare. “Of
course. Weusi, leave.”
“Weusi,
you don’t need to,” said Bagra quickly.
“Who
do you think you are to give orders to her? In front of me?” snarled Jabari.
“I—I
didn’t mean it like that. I just
meant that we could go somewhere. She
won’t have to—”
“Fine,”
growled Jabari. He stalked out of
the den angrily. Bagra followed.
“Uh,
here, I know a place,” said Bagra. He uncomfortably began to lead the way. They finally ended up on a hill
overlooking the savannah. Bagra
sat down.
“What
do you want?” Jabari asked.
“Just
to talk. About Weusi.”
“About
Weusi. About how well you know
her?” asked Jabari bitingly.
“I
. . . do know some things about her that you probably wouldn’t like known,”
said Bagra, looking away.
“Like
what?”
“The
beatings. And—and how you
left your home—”
“And
you will speak to NO ONE about that!”
hissed Jabari. “I never want to
see you anywhere near her again!” If Weusi was going to make his life miserable, and it very well seemed that she would as almost all
the plans he had built were falling apart,
then he was going to make her life a living hell.
“I
don’t think that’s necessary—”
“And
how many times have you ‘known’ her? Hmm? I should
kill you—”
“We
haven’t done anything like that. I
care for her deeply, maybe even love her, but I never touched her. Not once. I wouldn’t stain her like that for you—”
“Stain
her for me? I don’t doubt that you’ve already done that.”
“You
don’t understand how much she cares for you, Jabari. You’re just about all she’s talked about. She wants your opinion for everything. It’s
always, ‘Will Jabari like this? Will
this make him happy?’ Jabari, she lives for you. And the way you treat her—”
“Is
nothing less than she deserves.”
“You
are practically a god to her—”
“She
is my mate,” said Jabari angrily, truly angry this time. “And you have no right to tell me what
or what not to do with her.”
“Jabari,”
said Bagra softly, “that’s the same thing that forced you to leave home. If—”
Bagra
was cut off from a sudden swipe across the face from Jabari. “Shut up,” said Jabari furiously. “I don’t want to see you anywhere near
her again. Or around me. Because the next time I see you, I will kill you.”
“Jabari,
please, just think of the cubs—”
Jabari
slashed at Bagra again, only catching the end of his muzzle this time as Bagra
jumped back. “You have no
right—”
“I’m
a father to them!” said Bagra angrily. “I never thought you would come back, not from the way you
treated her! I did the best to
take care of her cubs, and of her! I thought they probably would never see their father! I gave them, all of them, all the love I
had—”
“I
don’t give a damn,” said Jabari, his voice level and hiding anger. “I will do whatever the hell I want with
them. I want you to get the hell
out of my life. I will kill you
the next time I see you.”
“Jabari,
please—” But it was too late. Jabari was already walking away, back toward the den. Bagra hung his head, then began to walk
the other way, doing something he had never done since he was a cub: praying.
Ketisha
was talking with Weusi in the den, or rather, was saying a few words between a
constant stream that poured from Weusi’s mouth. “. . . and I’ve been waiting for him ever since,” said Weusi.
“Mommy,
Ruya’s hungry,” said Aushi.
“I
don’t know why he would be, we all just ate yesterday.”
“Well
then maybe he just needs to use the grass.”
Weusi
looked down at her son to see him looking up
at his mother with pleading eyes, eyes that were so
much like his mother’s in their crystalline beauty. She smiled. “Come on, Ruya, I’ll take you. Aushi, you want to stay here and keep Keta company?”
“Okay,
Mommy.”
Aushi
sat down in front of Ketisha. Ketisha
expected her to start talking where her mother left off, but surprisingly
enough, Aushi was quiet. Ketisha
said, “You know, I don’t think I’ve heard your brother say two words since I
got here.”
“He
doesn’t talk,” said Aushi.
Ketisha
smiled. “Shy?”
“No,”
the little cub said. “Ruya just
doesn’t talk.”
“What
do you mean?”
“He
just doesn’t.”
“At
all?”
“Uh-huh.
Mommy said he was cute.”
“Cute?”
“Uh-huh.
She said that animals that can’t
talk are cute.”
“It’s
mute, Aushi,” said Weusi, bringing Ruya back in. “Not cute.” Ruya
scampered over to his sister and tackled her. Aushi squealed as she was knocked to the ground. She immediately began to wrestle with
her brother.
Weusi
chuckled. “Aren’t they just
wonderful?”
Ketisha
looked down at the pair, knowing what they meant for her and Jabari. The little furry ball rolled on the
floor of the den, a living testimony to Jabari’s marriage. “Of course,” lied Ketisha. “Wonderful.”
“I
love them so much,” said Weusi happily. “They—Jabari!” Ketisha turned to see Jabari in the
entrance of the den. “Where’s Bagra?” Weusi asked.
“He
left,” said Jabari.
“What?”
“He
left. For good.”
Weusi
seemed shocked. “I never got to
say goodbye,” she said quietly, looking down at the floor of the den. “I wanted to thank him.”
“I’m
sure.”
“Jabari,
you have to believe me,” said Weusi, “there was nothing between us.”
“I
wasn’t thinking of that,” said Jabari. “But if it’s obviously on your mind . . .”
“Jabari,
I didn’t, I swear. I love you, Jabari.”
“Mm-hmm
. . . Look, I need to talk to Keta. Come on, Keta.”
“Do
you want me to come, too?”
“No.
Just stay here.”
“But
Jabari, I haven’t seen you for so long—”
“It’s
getting dark, Weusi. I’ve had a
long walk over here. I’m tired. Just stay with the cubs. Put them to sleep.”
“Alright,”
said Weusi. She turned back to the
cubs, then looked back at Jabari and Ketisha as they were leaving. “When will you be back?”
“I
don’t know, okay?” said Jabari, irritated. It definitely felt like it used to now. Her talking and clinging and just being annoying. “If
it’s too late, I’ll just sleep out there. I’ll be back in the morning at least, I promise.”
“Okay,”
said Weusi agreeably. She settled
down in the den. A thought flicked
across her mind and she looked back at Jabari and Ketisha’s forms getting
smaller and smaller. She tossed
the thought away immediately. Jabari would never do that. Jabari loved her.
Ketisha
found herself being led into a rather nice spot of savannah. Jabari sat down. “Keta,” he said, “just let me explain. I’m married to Weusi—”
“I
think I figured that out,” said Ketisha dryly.
“Look,
it’s not that I want to be. It’s the worst mistake I made. She’s so annoying, she drives me up the
walls—I don’t want to be married to her.” Jabari sighed in frustration.
“But I’m stuck with her.”
“And?”
asked Ketisha. “You said you
weren’t telling me everything, Jabari, but I never thought it was something
this big. You said she was your
friend—”
“What
was I supposed to tell you?”
“The
truth would have been nice!”
“What
if I did, Keta? What would you
have done if you had known all along?”
“I
. . .”
“Exactly.
You wouldn’t be here. You would never have come. I would have . . . lost every chance I
had with you.”
“Jabari
. . . I—”
“I
want you, Ketisha, not her. I left her and I thought I had a chance
at a new life; I would never have to hear the name ‘Weusi’ again. Then I met you, and I knew what I wanted. I would have asked, but to just know that she was out here,
alone . . .”
“You
felt guilty.”
“Yes.”
Jabari looked into Ketisha’s eyes,
placing his paw underneath her chin. “Ketisha, I’m telling the truth. I’m telling you everything. I don’t want to be with her. I want you. Not her.”
“Jabari,”
she said, pushing down his paw, “how do I know you’ll mean that tomorrow? Or the next day? Look at what you’re doing with Weusi. You could be doing the same thing with
me. You could want to go back to
her, and your cubs—”
“Never,” said Jabari. “I want to forget about them. All of them. We
can leave them back at your home, and go off on our own, together.”
“I
don’t want to leave home.”
“We
can stay, then. But I don’t want
to spend the rest of my days with her. Not her.”
“How
am I supposed to believe you?”
“You
have to trust me, Keta. I just
want a second chance. Is that so
wrong?”
Ketisha
looked at his eyes. She reared up
on her hind legs and pushed him to the ground on his back. Jabari looked up to see her over him. “I don’t know,” said Ketisha with a
smile. She ran a claw down his
chest. “Persuade me.”
Jabari
leaned up and kissed her, beginning something that would undoubtedly be “lots
and lots of fun.”
The
pride welcomed Weusi and her cubs, swallowing whole Jabari’s story of wanting
to find a home for Weusi. It
didn’t go unnoticed by them, however, that Jabari began to spend more and more
time with Ketisha as Weusi began to adapt to pride life once again. They all saw what was happening, but
none of them thought of even telling Weusi. It was just unthinkable.
Jabari,
on the other hand, wasn’t the same story. “Jabari,” said Rajua, the king, “I want to talk to you.” Jabari followed him, and found that the
king had a carcass waiting for the two of them to talk over. “Please, eat,” said Rajua. Jabari did.
“So
what is it, sire?” asked Jabari after swallowing a
bite.
“It’s
about you and Weusi.”
“Has
she done something wrong?”
“And
Ketisha.”
“Ah.”
“I’ll
be frank with you, Jabari. I don’t
want to see it happening anymore. Weusi
is your mate. You need to be good
to her.”
“I
have been,” said Jabari. “I brought her here, didn’t I?”
“Jabari,
a marriage is a sacred thing. You
don’t just toss it away easily. I
know it’s not really my business, but I don’t want to see a member of my own
pride hurt like Weusi will be. I
want you to stop seeing Ketisha, for all of your sakes. Please. Weusi loves you very much.”
Jabari
stared down at the carcass, playing with a little piece of meat on the chest. He didn’t say anything for a while. “So, sire,” he finally said, “how’s your
son? The prince?”
It
took a moment for Rajua to realize the outrageous thing Jabari was suggesting. “You wouldn’t,” he whispered.
“I
would,” said Jabari. “And Daddy
would be next. I would suggest
staying out of my affairs, sire.” He
walked away, Rajua staring at him in horror.
“Shh,”
said Juveda. “I told you, I don’t
want no more visitors—who the hell are you?”
“I—I’m
Weusi—”
“Don’t
speak so loud, you’ll wake up the cubs.”
“Oh,
I didn’t know you had cubs,” said Weusi kindly.
“They’re
none of your business,” said Juveda shortly. “Go away! I
don’t need sympathy! I’m not meant
to be gawked at, thank you!” she said, turning into the cave angrily.
“But
I didn’t mean it like that,” said Weusi. “I’m new here; I just wanted to introduce myself.”
“New
here?” asked Juveda. “No one’s new
here. It’s the same old shit you
get everywhere else. ‘I’ll be
there for you—’ Bah!”
“What?”
“What
do you care? What do you want from
a ‘crazy old loon’?” She turned
and fixed Weusi with an icy, firm glare. “I’m not crazy,” Juveda said fiercely. “I’m not.”
“I
never said you were,” said Weusi agreeably. “I just wanted to meet you.”
“Sure
you did,” said Juveda. “What do
you care about someone like me? What
does anyone care about someone like me? He didn’t stay, why should anyone else?”
“Who?”
“My
mate, who do you think? There
isn’t anyone else to think of, is there?”
“Um
. . .”
“Oh,
what do you know? Be gone with
you!”
“But
please,” said Weusi, walking into Juveda’s den, “I just want to talk.”
“What
for? So you can go back to all of
your little friends and tell them about me?”
“If
you want, I won’t tell anyone I was here. Except maybe my cubs.”
“You
have cubs?” Juveda said. “It
certainly is nice to know Rajua still hasn’t given up the game,” she said
sarcastically. “I should’ve
married him; he had something to stick
around for.” She looked up at
Weusi and said, “Never get married.”
“But
why?”
“Why
do you think? It brings you
nothing but pain! Look at me. Look at Pinduli, she’s really happy.”
“Pinduli
loves Rajua. She’s happy—”
“That’s
what they all want you to think. But
up in here—” Juveda tapped
her head. “Nothing good up here.”
Weusi
was having doubts about Juveda’s facts, not her sanity. “But I’m married, I’m happy.”
“Married,
are you? You poor thing. I only hope that it takes as long to get
you as it does to get Pinduli.”
“What
get me?”
“Marriage!
You’ll get sick of him, or he of
you! Mark my words, he’s probably off
with some girl right now—”
“He’s
not!” said Weusi angrily. “Jabari would never do anything like
that! He loves me just as much as
I love him! He’s at the den right
now, with our cubs!”
“Maybe
now, but tonight, or the next night, or
the next one . . .”
“Shut
up!” said Weusi. “You don’t know a
thing about Jabari!”
“He’s
a scumbag, that’s what I know,” said Juveda. “The royals even tried to push him on me as my mate! You think I don’t remember my mate? I’m not crazy!”
“Jabari
would never be disloyal,” said Weusi firmly. “He has cubs to think about, he has me to think about, and he
knows I love him.”
“And
what makes you think that would stop him? Look what I was left with!” She motioned toward what Weusi had taken to be two little
piles of grass. “He left me with
cubs! I never forget! And I—oh, be quiet, dear,” said
Juveda, walking over to one of the little piles. They were indeed grass, but they had been fashioned into cub
shapes. Juveda began to rub one
gently, as if rocking it slowly. She turned to Weusi and said “Shh.”
Weusi
didn’t know what to make of it. “Um, Juveda . . . they’re not real,” she said gently.
“Shh!
She needs to go back to sleep . .
. back to sleep . . .”
“Juveda,
it’s just grass—”
“No!
No, she just wants to sleep . . .
just sleep . . . GODS DAMN IT!” Juveda yelled. Weusi jumped back at the sudden outburst. To Weusi’s horror, Juveda began to beat
apart the little cub she had been rocking. “You left me! You left me! You
left me!” Weusi began to back out
of the den. Juveda suddenly
stopped beating the cub and stared at it, tears forming in her eyes as she
realized what she had done.
“No
. . . no . . .” Juveda began to
arrange the grass again, putting it back into a cub. “Don’t worry, Mommy’s here
. . . Mommy’s sorry she hurt you . . . yes, Mommy loves you.” Weusi left quietly. Juveda heard her nevertheless. “Yes, we’ll help that poor little
lioness, won’t we? We’ll make sure
she gets her cubs raised up right, just like you . . . oh, you darling little
angel . . .”
Ketisha
rested her head on her paws, eyes shut.
She could pretend that she was asleep, but she couldn’t allow herself to
actually enter dreamland. She was
waiting for Jabari to come home.
She was not willing to tell Jabari everything that was on her mind, but this one she knew she
should.
Jabari
entered as soon as the sun had completely set and night had entered the
lands. He smiled as Ketisha raised
her eyelids slightly to get a good look at him.
“Hi
Ketisha,” he said softly.
“Want
to be with me again?” she smiled.
“And I’m glad you do.
Jabari, I have something you might want to know.”
“What’s
that?” he asked.
“I’m
pregnant.”
“I
thought you would be,” was all he said in response.
“You
aren’t worried, are you?”
“About
what?”
“Well
I know you probably don’t care about what Weusi thinks right now, but what
about the rest of the pride? They’re
not going to approve of this.”
“Trust
me Keta, there is nothing to worry
about. I’ve taken care of all
of it.”
“Well—if
you’re convinced…” Jabari lay down next to her. It had not been the first night that they had spent
together. Jabari had tried to
convince Weusi that since he hadn’t known the cubs too long, that he’d better
not spend all night with her while they were around; they wouldn’t trust him
enough. Really, though, this is
all he actually wanted. To have
peaceful nights with the one that he really loved: Keta. And nothing, as far as he was
concerned, was better than this.
“See?
I told you.”
“No
. . . no, that can’t be . . .”
“Him,
and her. There is nothing worse
than marriage. Look what it’s
done. You want to stay, he wants
to escape. And he does. And what can you do about it? Not a thing. You are bound to him, and all his immoral acts, in happy,
holy matrimony. All you can do is
watch. Just watch as he gets
farther and farther away from you with every—”
“Oh,
shut up! Shut up, you sick,
twisted, demented old—old coot! . . . Gods, why? Why Jabari? Why?”
Weusi
lied awake under the stars. No
matter how hard she tried to close her eyes and sleep, nothing would work. She looked over at Jabari by her side
and felt her eyes become wet. She
didn’t bother to stop the tears. She
looked over at him, seeing his still, sleeping form when her eyes were open,
and when they closed, she saw his act of unfaithfulness.
It
couldn’t be real. It just couldn’t be. I
can’t have seen it right. Jabari . . .
Weusi
stared at him, then finally nudged him gently. “Jabari?” she said quietly. “Jabari?” She
nudged him again. Jabari groaned. “Jabari?”
“What?”
he grunted, obviously not pleased at having been woken up.
“Jabari,
you love me, don’t you?”
“What?”
he asked, completely awake now, startled by the question.
“You
love me, right?”
“Have
I ever given you any reason to doubt that?” he asked, looking up at her.
Weusi
hesitated.
“Well?”
“No,
Jabari,” she said quietly.
Jabari
rolled over, turning away from her. “I’ll always be your mate, Weusi. And nothing’s going to change that.”
“You
mean it?”
“Yes.
We’re married, through good or
bad. You know it’s for life.”
“That—that
wasn’t what I meant, Jabari.”
Jabari
sighed irritably. “Couldn’t you
pick a better time to discuss this? Like in the morning?”
“But
Jabari, I’m . . .” She hesitated
to say “worried.”
“Just
leave it till morning,” he said.
“Alright,”
she said quietly. She saw Jabari
shift slightly, getting comfortable again. She snuggled closer to him, putting her head on his shoulder
and her foreleg across his chest in the way he always had liked. She felt him squirm away from her. She stared at him a moment, then sadly
laid her head down, slowly drifting off to sleep.
When
morning came, Jabari wasn’t there.
Silence
ran throughout the cave. Not a
sound could be made if he was going to make it right, the first time. Only a few yards separated the king
from Jabari, and now the attack had to
be made.
He
prepared himself to strike him dead right here, but Jabari had sensed his
presence. Soon, the certainty that
Rajua had of succeeding in his mission had faded,
and the two lions were fighting to the death inside the cave. It was now becoming even more obvious
that Rajua was in trouble, because Jabari was almost twice as strong and was
easily gaining the advantage. In a
matter of seconds he had Rajua pinned down on the floor.
Jabari
looked around; there was no one else there, not even Ketisha.
“Where
is she?” Jabari asked, turning his gaze back to Rajua.
“Who?”
he asked feebly.
“You
know who! Ketisha! What have you done with her?”
“Nothing! I haven’t even seen her!”
Jabari
heard a gasp from behind him and whipped around to see that Pinduli had arrived
at the entrance.
“What
about you? Have you seen
her?” Pinduli remained silent, not
willing to say or do anything that would place her mate in any more harm.
“Why
is she here?” Jabari asked, turning back to Rajua.
“She
was here for . . .” was all Rajua managed to get out. He didn’t want to go any further, and Jabari was sure he
knew why.
“Right,
listen to me, okay. Both of you,”
Jabari glanced back at Pinduli, “I’m going to get off of you now, but you are
in return going to tell me everything
you know about what the hell is going on here. And don’t lie to me because if you do you’re both going to
end up dead—and your son,” he looked back up at Pinduli to see what she
was making of all this, but her expression remained the same as it had
before. “Do I make myself clear?”
he added, glaring back at Rajua.
“Yes,
Jabari.” They both looked back up at Pinduli who gave a noticeable nod of the
head. Jabari took a step back of
Rajua.
“Please,
Jabari, don’t kill our son, he has nothing to do with this,” Pinduli said,
rushing in towards her mate as soon as Jabari got off of him.
“Why
are you here?” Jabari asked her sternly.
“And don’t lie to me, I already know that the king, here, was trying to
kill me.”
“I—I
was here for Ketisha,” she said, taking a slow step back from him.
“And
what did you do with her?” he asked angrily.
“Nothing. I swear, Jabari, Ketisha was not here
when we arrived so only Rajua came in, we have not seen her.”
“Don’t lie to me,”
Jabari was starting to approach her now, and Pinduli was taking faster steps
backwards. Rajua started to run at
him as he realized the danger that his mate was in. But as soon as he was at the zenith of leaping through the
air to attack him, he was knocked back onto the ground by none other than
Ketisha. Pinduli was able to take
advantage of the situation while Jabari was caught off guard by the action
behind him, and soon the two were wrestling each other on the ground. Jabari was soon able to pin Pinduli to
the ground, but Ketisha and Rajua’s battle was a close fought one. In the end however, Rajua eventually
managed to come out on top.
Both
lions now faced towards each other snarling, knowing that they both had the
life of their opponent’s lover resting in
their paws.
A
shadow suddenly cast over them though, as the moonlight was blocked from the
entrance of the cave by another figure.
All of them turned to face the lion that stood there: Bagra.
“Why
the hell are you here?” asked Jabari.
“Well
Jabari, after seeing you come back for your mate, I figured that I should come
back to mine.”
“Who
. . . you mean you used to live here?”
“I
remember you, Bagra,” the comment had come from Rajua. “You were Juveda’s
mate.”
“And
I still am.”
“So
you left your mate too?” Jabari remarked.
“And then you think you could just take Weusi for yourself.”
“I
never touched Weusi, Jabari. I
came back for Juveda and you should go back to Weusi, it doesn’t take a genius
to work out that you would rather be mates with Ketisha. But let me ask you this Jabari, where
do you think Ketisha was earlier?”
Jabari
hadn’t thought about that yet. He
had believed that Rajua and Pinduli had got rid of her, but here she was, right
back with him in their den.
“I
needed to go, that’s all,” said Ketisha.
“Go? What, all the way outside of the
lands?” Bagra asked in response.
“I left Juveda’s cave and you were walking right on by. Believe me Ketisha, I know where you
were.”
Jabari
looked down at Ketisha. If what
Bagra was saying was true, then she had been lying to him. But why would she have wanted to do
that?
“Rajua,”
Jabari started, “get off of Ketisha.”
“Get
off of my mate first.”
Jabari
looked back down at Pinduli and then took a step backwards off of her. Rajua, in return, got off of Ketisha
too.
“Ketisha?”
“I
swear, Jabari, he is lying, I just went
outside to do business.”
“No,
that’s a lie,” said Bagra. “You see, Jabari, once I left Juveda I
found a friend just outside of the lands called Lengo. Well, I stayed with him for a few years
until we finally decided that it was best that we went our separate ways. That was when I was wandering around
for a home that I found Weusi. She
told me to stay; I only met her on accident. Anyways, after seeing you come back for your mate, I
realized what I must have put Juveda into. She’s been crazy I tell you, she even tied some grass together
into little figures of cubs to keep her company. Well when I came back, I decided to see if Lengo had gotten
anywhere. I found him just next to
your borders here, but he told me that he still lived where we used to live
together, about a day’s walk away from here. He said he was there because he was waiting for someone he
was in love with, but didn’t think he could live with because she was a member
of a pride. When I walked out of
Juveda’s cave after hearing all of the commotion down here, I saw Ketisha
walking away from where I had last seen Lengo, and that’s where I put it all
together.”
“Jabari,
don’t listen to him, I don’t even know who Lengo is, I swear!” Ketisha was
desperate now. Jabari didn’t want
to believe Bagra. Maybe this was
all false, and Bagra had once again made up a false story to prevent himself
from getting killed. But then why did he even bother showing himself? Jabari looked back up at Bagra.
“Take
me to Lengo,” he commanded.
Bagra
straightened up, “Very well.”
“Jabari,
do you want me to come?” Ketisha asked.
“I
think it’s best if she stays Jabari.”
“She
asked me, Bagra, not you,” said Jabari angrily. “Keta . . .”
“It’s
all lies, Jabari. He’ll try and
ambush you or something.”
“Hey,
I can bring this sucker down in a matter of seconds if something goes
wrong. You stay here, okay?”
Ketisha
hesitated, “Okay,” she finally said.
Jabari
turned around and left behind Bagra.
Once they were clear, Rajua and Pinduli started to leave.
“Why
were you trying to kill him?” asked Ketisha. Rajua and Pinduli stopped. “He wasn’t harming you.”
“He
said that he would kill our son if we didn’t leave him alone,” Rajua replied.
“Well
then you should’ve just left him alone then!” Anger was starting to build up
inside her.
“Keta,
it’s something you wouldn’t understand.
Our son has nothing to do with it; if Jabari’s willing to take out
innocent victims just because something isn’t going his way, we can’t let him
stay around.”
“Then
we’ll leave, okay? Don’t go
killing us!”
“Ketisha,”
Pinduli came back down to her, “I don’t think you should be thinking of
yourself and Jabari as together now,” she
smiled. “Just wait until he hears
what Lengo says; I never saw any trace
of you when I was out there, and I was out there a long time.”
“You
bitch!” Ketisha swiped at her, but she was
able to get out of the way in time.
Now with Rajua nearer to her, Ketisha knew she had no option but to let
it be.
Pinduli
laughed, “I never liked you that much either, Ketisha.” She walked out with
Rajua, leaving Ketisha in the den on her own.
“Weusi,”
the lioness came over to her, obviously irritated with something, “you should
take more control over your cubs.”
She whirled around, letting Weusi see the damage that Aushi had caused
to her tail.
“Oh,
sorry Endela, come here Aushi,” Weusi managed to get her off with out a fight,
but Endela still glared down at the giggling cub. “Yes, I’m so sorry about that, I was trying to get some
sleep.”
“Yes,
well, where’s your mate then? Shouldn’t he be looking over them?”
Weusi
looked down sadly but simply replied, “I don’t know where he might be.”
“Not
very good at this, are you?
Where’s your other cub, Ruya?”
“Um
. . . I’m not really sure . . . Aushi, do you know where your brother is?”
“He
went outside, Mommy.”
“Oh
. . . darn it. Er . . . Endela,
would you mind looking after Aushi for a minute while I go and find him?”
Endela
frowned at her, “Alright—but this is the final time.”
“Yes,
yes, I understand,” Weusi quickly got up and ran out, yelling “thank you!” as
she went.
“Ruya! Ruya!!” Weusi could’ve sworn that she had been searching for half an
hour, yet it had probably only been ten minutes. She was getting more and more distressed as every one of
them passed. She had never been
fond of the idea of taking her cubs too far away from the den. She had asked Endela to look after them
the previous night when she had slept with Jabari.
She
was now approaching the den that she had seen him in with Ketisha the other
night. She stopped. Ruya would probably not be in there,
but she knew that the only other lion who probably knew where he was could be
in that cave. But did she really
want to find out if he was? Not
that she had much choice. Weusi
left her reluctance behind her as she walked on, but step by step she thought
of worse and worse things that she might see. She tried to convince herself that Jabari would do no such
thing as to be disloyal to her, but she had heard Ketisha say that she was
pregnant. Weusi tried to tell
herself that Jabari was not the potential father; there could be a male lion
around that she didn’t know about.
Weusi
sighed out of relief when she realized that Ketisha was the only one in there. She could see the entire inside of the den from where she
stood, yet Ketisha had not seen her.
She was franticly pacing herself throughout the den, obviously bothered
by something.
“Ketisha,”
the troubled lioness stopped pacing and looked up at her, “hi.”
“What
do you want?” she replied rudely.
“I—I
just wanted to know where Jabari was and I figured that he’d be in here.”
“What makes you think that?”
Ketisha asked curiously.
“I—”
Weusi then thought it was best not to answer that question, then hopelessly
tried to change the subject, “Well, do you know where he is?”
“Can
you answer mine first?”
“Listen,
it’s really important that I find him as soon as possible, I’ve lost
Ruya—”
“So
really you’re looking for Ruya, aren’t you? Well I don’t know where he is . . .”
“But
Jabari might.”
“He
doesn’t, I’ll tell you that now.”
“How
do you know? He hasn’t been here
again, has he?”
“Again? How do you—I mean, what makes you
think that he’s been sleeping with me?”
Ketisha’s
attempt at hiding the truth had gone as successful as Weusi’s had: not
very. “Wait . . . how long has he
slept with you?” Weusi said every word with increasing reluctance, and with an
increasing desire of how much she wanted to take her question back.
“Long
enough.”
“You
mean—more than one night?”
“A
lot more than one night.”
“But
. . . he loves me.”
“Weusi
. . .” Ketisha hesitated on her decision to tell Weusi the truth. If it all changed she needn’t know
anyways, “go and look for Ruya.”
Weusi
paused for a second, she had forgotten about Ruya. But right now she was insistent to know what was really going on, even if it scarred her for life. “Ketisha—is Jabari the father?”
Ketisha
glared back up at her, but her anger fell as her hopes lifted, “No,” she said,
“Another lion is. Weusi . . . you like
Jabari, don’t you?”
“Of
course I do,” she responded smiling, overwhelmed with relief that Jabari wasn’t
the father.
“Look,
I must admit that I like him too, a lot, and—maybe we have done things
that we shouldn’t have done, but Jabari is not the father. The problem is that he thinks he
is. The real father is a lion
called Lengo, he’s who I really love.”
Ketisha knew that she had a better chance of convincing Weusi if she
pushed the truth a little. “If you
come with me, I will tell Jabari the truth, you can be with Jabari, I’ll be
with Lengo, and he can join the pride with Bagra when . . .”
“Bagra? He’s here?”
“Yes,
Bagra’s here, but we need to—”
“No,
wait. Bagra’s here? But .
. . he spent all those nights with me . . .”
“He’s
Juveda’s mate…”
“.
. . and . . . and he never betrayed her.
He came back for her. Oh,
he is ever such a nice lion.” She
paused in memory of all the things he done for her, it was then that she had to know the answer. “Ketisha, did Jabari ever, you know . . . say that he . . .”
Ketisha
looked at her, the same annoyed look in her eyes that Jabari had so often. “Yes.
More than I’ve bothered to count.”
“But—but
he loves me . . . he loves me . . .” she said to herself quietly.
“Come
on, Weusi, I need you to come with me.”
“No,
I . . . want to stay here, Ketisha,” said Weusi not seeming to realize
everything that was going on.
“But—but
I need you! We’ve all got to be
there to sort this out. Look, you
can get back Jabari, and I can have Lengo, and . . . look if you don’t come, this
whole thing will all fall to pieces.” Weusi continued to look down at the
floor. “You need to find Ruya!”
she added as a persuasion.
Weusi
lifted her head a little, “I’ll leave once you’ve gone.”
“Er
. . . this is my den,” she said still
slightly irritated.
“Yes,
I’m aware of that.”
“Look,
Jabari needs you,” said Ketisha, her tone becoming plainly unwelcoming.
“I
know,” said Weusi quietly, staring at the ground.
Ketisha
groaned in frustration and marched out of the den. Weusi looked up in alarm.
“Ketisha—Ketisha, where are you going?”
“I’m
going to save one of my mates from an early death. You can stay or you can
leave.” Ketisha didn’t even look back.
Weusi
stared at Ketisha’s retreating form, rooted to the spot. She didn’t know how
long she stayed there, until finally, she headed out into the savannah. “Ruya!
Ruya!”
“Stay
here,” said Bagra.
“Why?”
asked Jabari, a hint of a snarl in his voice.
Bagra
looked at Jabari seriously. “You
want to get hurt?”
“Do
I look like a masochist?”
“Then
stay here.” Bagra walked down out
into the clearing, Jabari staying well hidden in the grass. Bagra called out into the night, “Hey!
Lengo!”
A
lion walked into the clearing. He
was larger than normal, and even from where he was, Jabari could see his
muscles ripple underneath his pelt. “Bagra, it’s the middle of the night.”
“Just
looking for you. Where were you
earlier?”
“What?
You mean you came back?”
“Yeah.
I was looking for you. Where were you?”
“I—I
was with that girl. You know, the
one I told you about?”
“The
pride lioness?”
“Yeah,
Ketisha.” Jabari felt himself
stiffen at the sound of her name. Lengo
lied down in the clearing. “I love
her, Bagra, but she is driving me crazy!
I mean, I can’t sleep. I nearly got myself killed yesterday
hunting.”
“My
father said that love made animals do stupid things.”
“Yeah,
well he was right.”
“And
that lust does that even more.”
Lengo
looked up at Bagra. “This is love, Bagra. She’s coming out here. We can leave this place. She’s told me she’s tired of that loser she has back at the
pride. We’re gonna leave together,
and make a pride of our own. We’ve
already even got cubs. She’s
pregnant, did you know that? I’m
gonna have to be a father.” Lengo
chuckled. “Poor little guys. Me, a father. Can you believe that, Bag?”
“It’ll
be different,” admitted Bagra. “But
you should do okay.”
“Yeah.
I got her pregnant, though, right? Never thought that would happen, at least not this soon. Heat hasn’t even rolled around yet. But I’ll raise ’em right, Bag, I know I
will—”
Lengo
was suddenly tackled and found himself rolling. He pinned the attacker underneath him easily. Jabari glared up at him murderously. “Those are my cubs, you son of a bitch!”
“Bag?”
asked Lengo.
“This—this
is Ketisha’s lover. Her other
one.”
“Well,
I never thought I’d actually see you. I had pictured someone—you know—a little
more—impressive?”
Jabari
lunged up at Lengo, only to have one of Lengo’s paws swat him down. “I wouldn’t try anything,” said Lengo.
“She
loves me, you son of a bitch, not you! Me!”
“What
do you have against hyenas? They’re
good animals.”
“This
isn’t a game!” yelled Jabari.
“Isn’t
it? You’re not going anywhere.”
“Keta
is my lover, not yours!”
“Jabari,”
said Bagra quietly, “I told you this was true.”
“You
invited him?” asked Lengo. “Are
you trying to kill me, Bagra?” He
looked down at the lion pinned underneath him. “Jabari, right? Look,
Keta is my mate. Maybe not married, but she’s mine. She wants me, not you. Why do you think she’s been sneaking out
here? She’s tired of you! She just wants it to end.”
Lengo
sat back, Jabari staring up at him in disbelief. “That can’t be true,” Jabari said quietly.
“Every
word.”
“No!”
Jabari suddenly leapt up at Lengo,
having a clear shot at his throat.
“Jabari,
stop!”
Jabari
suddenly froze, recognizing the feminine voice. Both Lengo and Jabari turned to her. “Keta?” said Jabari in disbelief.
“Jabari,
don’t hurt him,” said Ketisha.
“Do
you have any idea what lies he’s spreading?”
“Jabari,
you—you don’t need to hurt anyone. I’ve told you that.”
Jabari
pushed Lengo off from over him and walked over to Ketisha and nuzzled her. “Keta, the things he said about you.”
“Lengo
didn’t mean it. Not that way.”
Jabari
stopped nuzzling suddenly. He
pulled his head back in disbelief. “You said you didn’t know a Lengo.”
“I—I
lied, okay? I lied to you, Jabari,
and I’m sorry, but I just didn’t want this to happen! I didn’t want you to know
that—that I wanted it all to end, and go with him, and . . . and . . .”
Jabari
took a step back, staring at her. “I
thought you loved me,” he finally whispered.
“I—I
never said that, did I? I know I
never said that. I had to actually
work not to.”
“But—all
of those times we . . .”
“Jabari,
I . . . wanted you. That was all
there ever was. I like you,
really. But—but I just like
Lengo more. And—and I
thought it could all end nicely. I
could be with Lengo, and you and Weusi could . . . could be together again . .
.”
Jabari
shook his head slowly, staring at the ground. “I can’t believe you. After all those times I told you how much I—I hated all
of that whining, and pleading . . . Keta, how could you have possibly thought I
would have wanted that? Over you?”
“I—I
just . . . didn’t want you anymore, Jabari.”
Jabari
stared at her for a long time. He
felt a tear slide down the side of his face, but took no notice of it. “So this is what it’s been like? For Weusi?” He shook his head. “How could I have been so cruel?”
“Jabari,
I didn’t want to hurt you!” protested Ketisha.
“I
don’t want any more of your lies,” he said, storming past her. He felt her place a paw on his shoulder
as he went by. He shrugged it off
and kept going.
“Jabari!
Jabari, I didn’t
want—Jabari!”
Jabari
kept walking.
Ketisha
rounded on Bagra. “You! You had to
tell him, didn’t you!”
“It
was for the best,” said Bagra. He
silently left. Juveda would be
missing him.
Jabari
stopped, seeing Weusi in the clearing. It looked as if she was giving one of the cubs a bath; Jabari
could at least see a tail that looked like the end had been dipped in mud. Ruya’s tail. His son’s tail. A
fresh wave of remorse came upon him. He had been so caustic. So cruel. He had
even forgotten why he’d loved her, and married her in the first place.
She
made him laugh.
And
those lovely, lovely, crystalline eyes.
And
how she had comforted him, and left with him, even after the scandal of his father’s
death.
Why
had he cared about giving her what she wanted? She had asked so many times, and he had rejected her almost
as many. The dens they’d looked
through, the food she caught for him, the streams she found for them to drink
from. And she had just wanted to
please him, all the way through it. Was it really that bad to want a little bit for herself?
She
deserved a better mate than him, there was no doubt about that. She had loved him; he had beaten her. Jabari smiled slightly. If she hadn’t been so loving, would he
have had any hope of her taking him back now?
He
got up and walked toward her. It
would hurt, he knew it. But it
would come through. He loved her. “Weusi,”
he said.
Weusi
stopped licking Ruya, and after a pause, turned to look at Jabari. “Yes, Jabari?”
Those
beautiful eyes. “I—I need to
tell you something. Something I’m
very ashamed of.” He lied down. “Weusi, I’ve been lying to you,” he
said slowly, feeling as though he had to tear each word away for the sentence. “I—I’ve been unfaithful. I’ve been sleeping with someone else. Ketisha. And—I said some very, very bad things when I was with
her. About us. And I am deeply,
deeply sorry about everything that I’ve done. I’ve seen my mistake, I know that I’ve been stupid. But I want your forgiveness, Weusi. I want to be your mate again, and I want
to love you like you’ve always loved me.”
Weusi
looked back down at the cub and started grooming Ruya again. She finally stopped. “I—know,” she said.
“You—you
know?”
“Yes.
I’ve known for weeks,” she said. She looked up at Jabari, her eyes
brimming with tears. Her voice was
steady as she said, “They didn’t want to tell me. But I saw you two. Together. In her
cave. And you were on top of her. And—purring. And you—you were making love to
her, Jabari. And I knew you were
very, very happy.”
“Weusi,
I—”
“You’ve
already explained, Jabari. I know
why you wanted Ketisha. She’s
everything I’ve never been. Lustful,
and happy, and she never asked you for anything, did she? Nothing that you didn’t want. No begging or pleading or beating with
her. Maybe it was even
exhilarating for you, sneaking out to make love. I don’t know.
“But it wouldn’t have mattered if you had dragged her in
front of me and did it right there. I thought that maybe it was for the best, all of this.
You would be happy. That’s all I ever wanted, Jabari, to
make you happy. I thought I was
being a good mate; I only wanted the best for you. And you wanted Ketisha. I could never give you what she does. So I wouldn’t make a scene. And you would still love me, and cherish
me. And I’d still be your little
angel. Remember how you used to
call me that? After we were
married?
“And
it just got so—so wrong. That’s
the only way I could describe it. You
spent more and more nights with her. I’d go to sleep with you, and wake up in the middle of the
night, and you’d be gone. And I
knew where you went. And in the
morning, you’d be back again, as if you were never gone. I thought that was a good thing. You were ashamed of what you were doing;
you wanted to hide what you were doing from me because you loved me. And I’d just take care of the cubs, and
would accept your excuses not to be with me, knowing exactly what you were doing with her, while I cleaned and fed and cared for your own legacy!”
Weusi’s
voice had begun to shake, but she took a deep breath, it was steady again. “And I’ve always been a bit stupid,
haven’t I? I’ve never been the
brightest one, I knew that, but I certainly didn’t consider myself to be as
stupid as this. You didn’t want
me, Jabari, I knew that; you wanted her, but I thought you would still love me,
even if I wasn’t your choice for sex any longer. Rajua, kind, old Rajua, he’s even offered to help me out with
that, and Pinduli encouraged him to do that. Just to make me happy. I’ve been abstinent for months, because I didn’t want to be
with someone else when I had you.
“But
I never did, did I? I never had
you. As soon as you wanted to
leave me, I should have known that I’d never see my Jabari. You would be her Jabari. But I wanted to believe it was okay. That everything was alright. I wanted to believe that so badly,
Jabari. I managed to convince
myself that you loved me, even when I knew what you were doing, and I never saw
that I was deluding myself because of how much I loved you.
“I
wanted you to be happy so much, Jabari. I didn’t care if I was, because if you liked it, I loved that
you liked it. I was happy for you
with Ketisha. How sick am I? I was wanting you to go out and make
love to her. If that’s what made
you happy.
“But
I can’t convince myself of that anymore. That this is right. It’s wrong. So
you can go back to Ketisha, Jabari. It takes three to break a marriage vow, Jabari, and Rajua has
agreed to be the third. I don’t
want you to feel any remorse. I
want you to be able to give yourself to her fully.”
“Weusi,
I don’t want that. I don’t want to
do that anymore. I want to be with
you.”
“Well
then, there’s a small problem.”
Jabari
was shocked. She must love him. Now, at least, when he loved her and
wanted her back so much. But his
shock ebbed away with her next words. “Jabari, you’re a very special lion to me. You always will be. So if you want to keep me as your mate,
then you can do it. I’ll let you. I’ll forgive you—the good gods
know that I’ve been doing that for weeks. One more night of forgiveness won’t hurt me.”
“Weusi,
I don’t know what to say . . . thank you. I know you have every right to leave, but if you’re willing to
stay with me—thank you so much, Weusi.”
“I’m
perfectly willing, Jabari.”
“You
won’t regret this, Weusi. I
promise. I’ll make things better. Starting now.”
“That’s
. . . ambitious, Jabari. But I’ll
support you.” She began to groom
Ruya again.
Jabari
smiled. “Thank you. And I’ll try to be a better father. Is that alright, Ruya?”
Ruya
was silent, something Jabari expected. He lied still in Weusi’s legs as she
groomed him. “A very good cub,
Ruya,” said Weusi. “Always still
while taking a bath. Here.”
She picked up Ruya, and laid him
down in front of Jabari.
At
least his back half.
Jabari
stood up in shock and stared at the tail and hind legs in front of him. He stared as blood dripped onto the
grass. Ruya’s front half was
missing entirely. “Wha—how—Weusi,
what—”
“Oh,
he ran into some hyenas, I’m guessing. I’m not quite sure what they were; by the time I found him,
they were running into the grass. He
was filthy, of course. He hadn’t
had his bath yet.”
“Weusi,
how can you say that?”
“Say
what?”
“All
of it! Just—just so
caustically—and all this time you were bathing this . . .”
“Yes.”
“Weusi—what’s
gotten into you?”
“Nothing,
as far as I know. I’m perfectly
fine. But this would make me seem
wrong, wouldn’t it?”
“Weusi
. . .”
“I
don’t know, Jabari. Maybe I am
becoming a bit—unhinged. Crazy.
Stark, raving mad.”
“Oh,
gods, Weusi . . . what have I done to you?”
“Oh,
nothing, Jabari. I’m fine. Really. I don’t think this is really what you’d call insanity. This is more along the lines of
desperation. Because I want him to
be alive. And I just deny it,
don’t I? And he’s not dead, at
least not to me. And he’s so
happy, because Daddy’s going to spend more time with him. And teach him how to hunt, and be a big,
strong lion. And he’ll be a good little cub, and
he’ll always do what Daddy and Mommy ask, and we’ll love him so much. And he’ll
grow up, and he’ll be so strong, and so brave, and he’ll make his parents so
proud. And he’ll find a nice
lioness in the pride, and he’ll settle down with her. And he’ll have cubs with her. And he’ll be so happy, and he’ll just
squeal with delight. And that’s
all he can do. Squeal. He never could talk. He couldn’t even scream. Not when he wanted to go to the
bathroom, not when he was hungry. Not
even when they were killing him.”
“Weusi,
please, stop.”
“Oh,
I’m sorry, Jabari,” said Weusi. “I
know how you don’t like me to talk on and on, but I’ll try to stop that, I
really will. But it all just seems a little much now. I don’t know which shocks me more
really; finding him or you staying.” Her tone wasn’t rude and brutal, it was honest, the sincerity
ringing in Jabari’s head, horrifying him.
“Weusi
. . . Weusi, please, let’s just take Ruya back to the den . . .”
“You
don’t get it, do you, Jabari? You
don’t understand at all . . .”
“Weusi,
please, I don’t want to leave you out here like this. You said you were willing, right? So help me with Ruya. Please.”
“But
I don’t want to.”
“What?”
“You
never did get it, did you, Jabari? I’m perfectly willing. But I don’t want to. I don’t want to live a lie, I don’t want to have to hold my
head in shame, I don’t want to be a fraud. I’ll be your mate, I’ll follow you to the end of the earth,
and I’ll even jump off if you tell me to. But you’re never going to hear those four words again.”
“But—but
Weusi, please—I love you, Weusi.”
Weusi
was silent.
“Weusi
. . .”
“Jabari,
I’m your mate.” She walked over
him, standing over her dead son’s body. She pressed herself against him as she licked him across the
face, a kiss that had no love, only lust, and very little of that. “And you’re a big, strong lion,” she
said, a slight note of wildness in her voice.
“Weusi
. . .”
“Maybe
I am a little crazy. I never asked
Juveda how long it takes.”
“Weusi,
please, stop.”
“Of
course.” She drew her head back
from his.
Those
beautiful eyes. And now it seemed
as if their crystalline beauty was shattered, fractured by something.
“Weusi
. . . I love you.”
“Then
that should make all of this easier for you.”
“Please
. . . just say it.”
“No,
Jabari. I don’t lie.”
“Weusi
. . . don’t torture yourself like this. Please. Not for
me. Not like this. I never wanted you like this.”
“Alright.”
She stepped back, stepping on
Ruya. “I’m going to the den to
pick up Aushi. And Rajua can get
your breaking vow in the morning. He
already has mine. I told him to
forget it if you didn’t say anything tomorrow, though.” She began to walk through the grass
toward the den.
“Weusi,
please, don’t do this. Not this
way.”
“What
do you want?”
“I—I
want you.”
“But
not like this.”
“No.
Not like this.”
“And
I can’t give you anything else.”
Weusi
continued to walk toward the den. Jabari watched her go, then watched her suddenly stop. Weusi turned around to him, looking him
in the eye.
She
said slowly, remorse deep in her voice, “I don’t love you like I loved you
yesterday.”
She
continued on her way to the den. Jabari
sank to the ground, and laid his head on the ground. Slowly, he began to cry.