A Trip to the Animal Shelter

by Joe McCauley (mccauley@davesworld.net)
Copyright 2000-2002 by Joe McCauley


     "Mrs. Pritchard?"
     The older woman looked warily at the man in dark green overalls
standing outside her front door.  "Yes?"
     "Good morning, ma'am.  I'm Tim, from the animal shelter.  You called
about a couple of kittens?"
     She gave him a puzzled look.  "I called the police about a couple of
cat children..."
     Tim smiled at her.  "That's okay, ma'am.  They routinely refer animal
calls to us."  He hesitated.  "Where are the two cats you called about?"
     "You won't need that cage."
     He glanced briefly at the cat carrier in his hand.  "What do you
mean?"
     "Come in and you'll see what I mean."  She stood back and held the
door open for him.  "They're in the TV room.  This way."
     She led him through the organized clutter of her house to the room
addition at the back.  There, sitting on the floor watching a cartoon on
television, were the two cats.  Or whatever they were.  They were much
bigger than any domestic cat he had ever seen, the larger one over two feet
tall sitting down, not counting the long-tufted ears.  Their tawny coats
were mostly solid but had stripes faintly visible on their tails and in a
few other places, and their back feet were unusually large in proportion to
their bodies.
     They turned and studied him as soon as he entered with Mrs. Pritchard.
Ears flicked and noses twitched as they made chattering noises to one
another.  Then the smaller one stood up, walked over to Mrs. Pritchard's
side and looked up at her, its tail waving nervously.  Tim's eyes went
wide.  "Be careful!  They might be dangerous..."
     "Nonsense, young man.  They've been here for an hour, and they're as
well behaved as my grandchildren."
     "Where did you find them?"
     "Came to my house and rang the doorbell like a couple of lost
children, so I called the police."  She reached down and stroked behind the
ears of the cat creature beside her.  Its eyes half-closed blissfully.
     "Ma'am, I don't know what kind of animals these are.  They look like
some kind of lynx or cougar, but I don't know of any felines that walk on
two legs."  Tim took a step toward the larger one and squatted, bringing
their eyes near the same level.  "Come here, kitty."
     The creature, whom he estimated to be about sixty pounds, lifted one
hand slightly, a fully formed hand with four fingers and a thumb, and thin
fur on the back but little or none he could see on the palm or the front of
the fingers.  It extended slightly then retracted claws from about where
the fingernails would be on a human hand, still looking at him warily.
Tim's eyes widened.  Hands!  This cat had hands!
     It chattered something to the other creature, never taking its eyes
off Tim.  The eyes narrowed slightly into broad slits, a faint glow visible
from the back of its pupils, yet the look it gave him was not fearful or
hostile, merely cautious.  But those sounds it made...  The combination of
murrs, grunts, hisses, and several others, were varied and complex enough
to be a spoken language.  Was it possible these two animals were talking to
each other?
     Tim inched forward as if approaching a strange dog until he was about
arm's length from the creature.  The creature's nose twitched.  Its ears
and whiskers came forward slightly, and its tail flicked a couple of times.
     "It has claws," he said to Mrs. Pritchard.  "Have they tried to do
anything with them?"
     Mrs. Pritchard thought a moment.  "No...  Wait!  Yes they did.  He
sharpened them on a piece of firewood.  Gave another piece to his brother
and he sharpened his too."
     "He?  Brother?"
     "Well, I guess they're brothers, I don't really know.  But if you take
a good look you can see they're boys."  The smaller creature left her side
to join the other.  "Haven't used their claws on anything else.  They even
put the firewood back when they were done."
     Tim put a hand to his chin and again studied the creatures, whose
attention was drifting back to the television.  "Interesting."  For a brief
moment, the position of their ears and a trick of the lighting gave him an
impression of them wearing hats and dark glasses.  Mentally he dubbed the
tall one Elwood and the small one Jake.
     He resumed his attempts to approach them, and within a few minutes it
seemed he had gained their trust.  Mrs. Pritchard tried to convey to them
that he was going to take care of them now.  Tim thought the ritual odd,
but they seemed to understand, even making what appeared to be gestures of
gratitude toward Mrs. Pritchard as they followed Tim to the front door.
     His vehicle was a modified pickup truck with storage compartments and
several cages of various sizes on the back.  Jake bounded forward at the
sight of a dog in one of the cages.  The golden retriever scrabbled its
claws and barked.  Jake hesitated before extending a tentative hand toward
its cage.
     "Whoa, careful.  He may not like you," said Tim as he opened the next
cage.  But Jake suddenly lost interest in the dog as he and Elwood began
chittering in a noticeably different pitch.  Jake was staring up at the
open cage door, his ears flattened to his head.  "All right, in you go," he
said, but as he leaned forward to pick up the cat, Jake squirmed away from
him and bolted around behind the truck.  Out of the corner of his eye he
saw Elwood spring sideways out of reach.
     Tim paused as they regarded each other for a long moment, and the
meaning was clear from Elwood's gaze:  there's no way you're getting either
of us in that cage.  But dealing with stubborn, reluctant animals was part
of the job, and Tim could play hardball when he had to.  He had noted
earlier that they weren't wearing collars, which they would need for
identification tags, and he had several spares of various sizes, so he
opened a storage compartment, grabbed two that looked the right size and
stuffed them and a leash into his pocket.  Then he relaxed on the grass in
front of Mrs. Pritchard's porch and began cooing at them.
     It wasn't long before they were back at his side.  As he stroked them
and spoke in soothing tones, he gently slipped a collar out of his pocket
and around Elwood's neck, then quickly and deftly secured the buckle.
Elwood jerked to attention, and his hand shot up and he grabbed and tugged
at the collar.  He leapt away from Tim, easily slipping out of his grasp,
and he and Jake pair took off around the side of the Pritchard house.
     Tim found the pair of them sitting on the edge of the patio, both
fumbling with the collar.  Stopping a few steps away, he said in a gentle
tone that belied the meaning of the words, "Come on, guys, why are you
being so difficult?"
     They scrambled away from him, toward the woods bordering the back of
the lot.  Tim didn't want to thing about trying to track and catch them if
they went into the woods, and breathed a sigh of relief when they stopped
at a cluster of flowering bushes and resumed fidgeting with the collar.  He
resumed his stalk.
     To his surprise, they stood up and began moving toward him, not acting
at all skittish.  When they were close, they suddenly sped up and charged
past him back the way they had come.  Tim followed, coming around to the
front of the house just in time to see them climbing through the window
into the cab of his truck.  Thinking of all the things in there they could
get into, including a can of mace in the door pocket, he hurried.
     But when he reached the truck, he found Elwood seated on the passenger
side, his tail pulled up between his legs, and was just clicking the seat
belt shut while Jake was in the middle, nestling secure at his brother's
side, and Tim's coffee mug and clipboard now sitting in the driver's seat.
Still panting from the chase, he gazed at them.  "You guys are just full of
surprises, aren't you?"  As he picked up the mug and clipboard and looked
for a place to put them, Elwood held out the collar that had been around
his neck moments earlier.
     Tim leaned on the door and let out a heavy sigh.  It occurred to him
that if they could remove a collar they could probably figure out how to
work the latches on the cages in back, which had no locks.  "Okay, we'll
try it your way."  He set the mug and clipboard on the floor in front of
Jake and took the collar.  After putting away the collars and leash, he
fished out the seldom-used middle seat belt from between the cushions.
     Once they were under way, he lifted and keyed the microphone on the
two-way radio.  "Animal house, this is Tim."
     "Animal house," a woman's voice crackled over the radio.
     "Pritchard call completed.  Two cats in custody."
     "Ten four.  Got another stray pickup called in.  Can you take it?"
     "Negative.  I have an unusual situation here.  I need to bring these
two straight back."
     "An unusual situation?"
     "You'll see what I mean when I get there."
     "Okay, ten four.  See you in a few."
     The cats looked at the radio with interest, but Tim gave them a firm
'no' the first time one of them reached for it, and they left it alone
after that.  During the drive back they looked around with obvious
fascination at their surroundings, pointing at delivery vans, billboards,
colorful store fronts and various other sights they drove past, and
chattering with each other - that must be a language, Tim thought.  At one
point he pulled out and offered them cat treats, but Elwood gave his one
sniff, crinkled his nose and handed it back.  When the truck passed near a
police car, it crossed Tim's mind that Jake should be in a child safety
seat, but then he laughed at himself, remembering that he was only a cat.
Or something.  What was he?  What the heck were these two creatures who had
insisted on riding in the front of the truck with him?

     Lisa was between the utility building and the rest of the complex when
the truck rolled in.  "What have we here?"  she said, approaching as Tim
rolled down the window.
     "I don't know.  Some kind of cat."
     Lisa's eyes went wide.  "What...  They...  You let them ride in the
front with you and you don't even know what they are?"
     "They behaved.  Even wore seat belts."  Tim let out a heavy sigh.
"When I went to put one of them in a cage, they were off like lightning.
Whatever they are, they're very smart."
     "Hmmm...  No collars, either."
     "I put one on him," he said, gesturing toward Elwood.  "He took it
off.  They don't have tags and Mrs. Pritchard had never seen them before
and didn't know who they belong to or what their names are.  If they have
names.  I've been calling the bigger one Elwood and the smaller one Jake."
     Lisa stared at the two cats, then back at Tim.  "No idea where they
came from?"
     "None.  For all I know they could be wild, though they sure don't act
like it."
     Though Lisa avoided prolonged eye contact it was hard not to stare at
them.  "What are they?"
     "Hell if I know.  Can you get the dog in back?"
     As Lisa fetched a leash to get the golden retriever out of its cage,
Tim emerged and turned to Jake and Elwood.  "Okay guys, we're here," he
said as he gestured outside his door.  The two of them looked at each
other, then unbuckled and stepped out onto the concrete.
     Lisa gave him a questioning look.  "You think that's a good idea,
letting them loose here without a leash?"
     Tim shrugged.  "I already told you what happened when I tried to put
collars on them.  You got any better ideas?"  Jake and Elwood were already
headed for the nearest row of kennels, where a whining beagle mix had
caught their attention.  They chattered to each other and to the dog as
they started to stroke its face through the chain link fence.  The dog
wagged its tail and licked their fingers.
     "Damn!"  said Lisa, as she led the retriever to the front office.  "If
I didn't know better, I'd swear they were two kids here to adopt a pet.
Where are we going to put them?"
     "One of the dog kennels, I guess.  They're too big for our cat cages,
and I wouldn't want to separate them."
     Lisa studied them a moment.  "Cats with hands.  Their back feet are
awful big too.  Odd, aren't they?"
     "My guess is they need bigger feet for balance when they walk
upright."  He looked down at them and shook his head.  "Let's get them
signed in."
     Tim took their hands in his and led them into the office behind Lisa
and the retriever.  They entered the reception area, and when Jake saw the
open door to the restroom, he withdrew his hand from Tim's and went inside.
Before anyone could follow him, he had turned on the light and closed the
door.  Elwood raced Tim to the door and scratched on it gently, rasping out
some more of their strange sounds.  Similar sounds emanated from behind the
door, starting a brief exchange that sounded like an argument.  Then Elwood
noticed the other restroom a few steps away and bounded into it, also
turning on the light and closing the door.
     Lisa and Sharon, the secretary/receptionist behind the counter, both
looked on in shock.  Tim just stood back, amused.  "It's been like this
with them the whole time."  He chuckled and shook his head.  "At least we
know they can't read words like 'Men' and 'Ladies'."
     They heard the toilet flush in Elwood's restroom, and he emerged a few
seconds later.  His ears and tail flicked at the sight of three pairs of
human eyes staring at him, but he only blinked once before returning to
Tim.  When Jake reappeared, he seemed to cower at all the attention focused
on them and huddled close to Elwood and Tim.
     Their eyes explored the room, and just as Sharon turned away, Jake's
attention fixed on the counter.  He leapt onto it next to two glass dishes,
one filled with peppermint candies and the other with dog biscuits, grabbed
two of the peppermints, and tossed one to Elwood as he jumped back down.
Elwood snatched his from the air and they both began unwrapping them.
     "Oh, no you don't," said Lisa, reaching for Jake.  "That's bad for
you."  But Jake spun away from her, and in the blink of an eye, both
candies had disappeared into feline mouths.  Lisa thrust her hand toward
Elwood.  "Give me that!"
     Elwood's eyes darted between her face and the outstretched hand.  He
then reached out nonchalantly to hand her the wrapper.  Jake did likewise.
     Laughter broke out as Lisa took both of their wrappers.
     Tim completed his paperwork for Elwood, Jake, and the golden
retriever, then left to pick up the other stray, while Darren, another
staff member who had been busy outside, assisted with processing them in.
The two creatures stepped on the scales on their own when it came time to
weigh them, Elwood tipping the scales at sixty-three pounds and Jake at
forty-one.
     Kennel #18 was selected, and Jake and Elwood followed as Lisa led them
out of the office.  They stopped several times to admire dogs in the other
kennels, flinching only slightly at the ones who barked the loudest and
always wanting to touch the ones that acted friendly.  Jake was
particularly enamored of two husky mix puppies in one kennel, and Lisa had
not been able to pry them away by the time Darren was finished kenneling
the retriever.  "Come on, you two," said Lisa, "we're almost there".  It
was only a few steps further, but all efforts to distract Jake from the
puppies failed.  Elwood paid her some heed but wouldn't go far without
Jake.  It took nearly five minutes for Darren and Lisa to herd them the
rest of the way.
     When they arrived at the kennel, the creatures hesitated at first, but
Elwood hissed something to Jake, and they entered the kennel with little
resistance.  Darren filled their water bowl.
     The kennels had outdoor and indoor areas, the two parts separated by a
door that was normally kept open but could be closed in bad weather.
Between adjacent kennels were solid walls to about three feet high topped
with chain link up to about six feet.  The ends, both indoor and outdoor,
were chain link from top to bottom with gates that could be padlocked.  The
inside gates were usually used to access the kennels and the outside gates
kept locked most of the time.  Each kennel could easily hold two larger
dogs or more smaller dogs or puppies.  A different building housed the
cages where they kept cats, birds and other small animals.
     It hadn't been five minutes since Elwood and Jake had been left alone
that Darren and Lisa found both of them outside their kennel.  The indoor
supply closet was open and Jake had a handful of dog food that he was
feeding a piece at a time to the husky mix puppies, while Elwood had taken
out a folding metal chair he was carrying to the kennel.  "Well I'll be a
son of a gun," Darren muttered.
     "I should've realized they'd be able to open the latches with those
hands of theirs," Lisa replied.  They herded the two of them back into the
kennel, again with little protest from Elwood and Jake, and this time
Darren secured the door with a padlock.  They let Jake keep the chair and
weren't surprised to see him unfold and sit on it.
     Ten more minutes later, Sharon glanced up to see Elwood enter the
office, take a drink from the water fountain, and stop next to the brochure
rack where he picked up a copy of a free coloring book meant for children
wanting to adopt pets.  He met her glance for an instant as he scurried out
the door, book in hand, before she made it out from behind the counter.
"Lisa, one of 'em's out again," she shouted out the door.
     By the time Lisa made it to the kennel, Elwood was back inside,
sitting in the chair and leafing through the coloring book as Jake looked
on.  "Well, I'll be damned," she muttered as Darren stepped up behind her.
"So they can climb.  What do we do now?"
     "Well, it's obvious," said Darren.  "We give 'em a box of crayons."
     Darren ducked out of the way before she could turn around to punch
him.  Jake and Elwood glanced up at them only for a second before returning
their attention to the book, but she could have sworn Elwood had a smirk on
his muzzle.
     The shelter staff gradually came to an unspoken agreement of sorts
with Elwood and Jake.  The two of them behaved themselves and didn't wander
far from their kennel.  The staff occasionally had to get after them for
something or another, such as when Jake climbed inside the kennel holding
the husky mixes, but once they were told not to do something, they didn't
do it again.  The padlock was removed, and when the occasional family
looking to adopt a pet came through, Lisa or Darren took them back to their
kennel and stayed with them until the visitors left.  Thankfully, it was a
weekday so they didn't have the steady flow of traffic common on weekends.
     "How are things going with you-know-who?"  asked Tim when he returned
from his outing.
     "Interesting," Darren replied.
     "Things have settled down a bit," Lisa added.  "Elwood and Jake seem
to be getting along with this place."
     Sharon shrugged her shoulders.  "Good enough for you guys, maybe, but
Lou isn't going to be too happy when he gets here."
     "Yeah, I know," said Lisa.  "That's what's got me worried."
     "I'm trying not to think about it," Tim added.

     It was near the end of lunch hour when Lou, the facility manager,
arrived to begin his mid-shift workday.  "So, I hear we have a couple of
unusual cats today."
     "Yep, strangest things I ever saw.  Kennel #18," said Sharon to his
back as he departed to check over the facility.
     He burst in red faced about thirty seconds later.  "One of those
things is out of the kennel.  Where's Darren and Lisa?"
     Darren appeared a few seconds later.  "Yes, sir?"
     "Why is one of those cats running loose?"
     Darren's eyes wavered.  "We tried, sir, but they won't stay in the
kennel.  They have hands and can work the latches, and they can climb out
of the kennels."
     "Did you try chaining them?"
     "They won't wear collars.  Tim put one on one of them, but it took it
off."
     Lou frowned at him.  "No collars, either?  Well, they gotta have 'em,
bolted on if we have to."  They started toward kennel #18.  "And if they
won't stay in a regular kennel, put 'em in one of the fully enclosed.  I
think #40 is empty.  Get Lisa to help if you have to.  Where is she?"
     "Cleaning out cat cages."  Darren paused.  "Sir?"
     "What?"
     "They really haven't been that much trouble.  And they're very smart.
I don't think they're going to let you just stick them in one of those
kennels."  Their fully enclosed kennels had chain link ceilings and were
used for dogs who were particularly good a climbing fences and for certain
other exotic animals they had to handle on rare occasions.
     Lou's eyes narrowed.  "Who's in charge here, you or them?  I'll not
have animals running loose in this place.  That's not the way we do things
around here.  We don't know what viruses they're carrying, and animals are
unpredictable, especially if they're not one of the usual house pets."
They arrived at kennel #18, where Elwood looked up at him, his eyes narrow
slits and his ears back.  Jake was hanging onto the link upper half of one
side of the kennel watching the dog next door but stopped after a couple of
seconds and dropped nimbly onto his feet.  He too regarded Lou cautiously.
"What the heck are those things?"
     "We don't know.  Tim thinks they might be some kind of lynx or cougar,
but I've never heard of any kind of cat that could walk on two legs.  Or
talk."
     "They talk?"
     "Not in English, but they're not regular cat noises either.  And look
at those hands and feet.
     "Interesting."  Lou put on his best forced smile and stepped just
inside the kennel.  "Come here, kitty," he said to the smaller one.
     "We call that one Jake," said Darren.  "The other one is Elwood."
     Jake leaned closer to Lou, ears forward.  Elwood's tail waved and he
murred at Jake, who stopped and studied Lou more intently.  His eyes darted
back and forth between Lou and Elwood, ears flickering and tail atwitch.
Elwood's nose quivered, and he squawked something at Jake.  The smaller
creature scuttled back, then slithered sideways to Elwood's side.
     "I don't think they trust you," Darren observed.  "Funny, they weren't
like that with any of the rest of us."
     Lou retreated from the kennel, closing the gate, and looked back at
the two animals.  "I'm gonna get a couple of chain collars and bolts.  Be
back in a minute."
     Darren swallowed as he entered the kennel and began to stroke Jake
behind the ears.  "I'm sorry guys, but I hope you don't hate me too much
for what I think he's about to make me do."
     Darren was still petting Jake when Lou returned with the collars,
bolts, and two wrenches.  The two creatures reacted instantly at the sight
of them.  Elwood leapt out of reach but Jake wasn't so lucky.  Darren had
his arm around him and Jake's struggles were to no avail.  The cats made
several panicked noises, their harshest sounding ones directed at Lou even
though Darren was the one holding Jake.  "Watch those claws," said Lou at
one point.  Jake's struggles continued, but Darren's animal handling
experience prevailed and he soon had him immobilized in a hold.
     Lou quickly looped the collar around his neck.  As he tightened the
bolt, Jake twisted and swiped at him with claws extended, ripping his shirt
pocket.  By the time the collar was secure, Elwood was long gone.  Lou
clipped a leash onto the collar and looked down at his torn pocket.  "Damn
things are dangerous."
     "You think so?"  Darren replied.  "He never once used his claws on
me."
     Darren released him, and Jake's hands went to the collar, where his
fingers began to explore.  As he felt around, his head and tail sagged
along with the rest of his body, but Lou unceremoniously tugged on the
leash and began leading him out of the kennel.  Jake began to whine
piteously and renewed his struggle.
     Jake was in a constant tantrum all the way, and when they arrived at
kennel #40 and Jake saw the chain link ceiling, he hissed and yowled
loudly, grabbed the leash and gave a sudden yank.  Though surprised by
Jake's strength, Lou maintained a firm hold.  Jake then lunged at Lou,
grabbing the man's hands with his own in an effort to pry the leash from
his fingers.  Lou didn't relent, even when Jake began pressing with his
claws, but when Jake exposed his sharp teeth, preparing to strike, Lou
suddenly let go.
     Jake was off like lightning, the leash dragging behind him, to the far
end of the kennel row where Elwood stood waiting.  Lou gave chase as the
cats ran from the kennel buildings, across the drive to the back of the
utility shed, easily outrunning their pursuers.  When Darren and Lou
rounded the back corner, they saw Elwood and Jake stopped about twenty feet
away.  As they bolted again, Elwood flung the leash into the air.
     So the chase began, which Lisa was soon drawn into.  The cat
creatures' hearing and sense of smell made them difficult to sneak up on,
and their ability to jump and climb made them nearly impossible to corner.
Some fifteen minutes later, frustrated and out of breath with no idea how
or when they were going to catch the two creatures, the crew stopped for a
breather in front of the infamous kennel #40.  "I'm going to be mad as hell
if they escape the facility," panted Lou.
     Lisa looked around, then back at Lou and shook her head.  "Like they
couldn't have already?  I don't think they really want to.  Maybe they
don't know where else to go.  But if we keep this up they might change
their minds."
     Lou clenched his teeth.  "If you guys hadn't been pandering to them
earlier we might not have this problem.  Now we've got two animals running
loose..."  The lecture went on, Lou venting his frustration on the two of
them, leaving Lisa and Darren looking as if they should have tails tucked
between their legs.
     As if to bail out friends in need, Elwood and Jake padded up beside
Lisa and Darren.  Lou stopped talking and looked down at them, and they
held their ground as they looked back and forth between the three people.
     The two of them stood there, hand in hand.  Elwood looked up at Lisa,
then at Darren, his eyes dark pools, and his tail dragging.  He stepped
slowly to the kennel gate and stopped, pulling Jake along beside him.  Then
he turned his gaze on Lou.  His eyes became slits, his hackles went up, his
ears flat and tail bottled.  He held Lou's gaze like that for a few
seconds, then slowly backed through the gate into the kennel, his gaze
conceding nothing as he did so.  A confused Jake obediently slid in behind
him.
     Elwood held Lou's gaze, even as Jake tugged at his arm and began
chattering to Lisa and Darren.  Lou finally broke the gaze and spoke to his
subordinates.  "Go ahead, lock the gate.  Darren, make sure they have food
and water, then go clean out their other kennel."
     Moments later, after Lou had returned to his desk, Darren stopped by.
"Hey guys, are you doing okay?"
     Elwood was looking away and wouldn't acknowledge him, and Jake only
looked up for a second.
     "Aw, come on, guys.  I didn't like doing any of that stuff either."
When they didn't respond, Darren let out a sigh.  His voice shifted to
another register.  "Hey, look.  I brought you something."
     Elwood continued ignoring him.  Jake turned his head partway, then
ambled over to him.  Darren slipped the coloring book he had rescued from
the other kennel through the fence.  Jake took it, then slipped his free
hand through and opened it.  Darren looked down, seeing what was in the
proffered hand, and smiled.  "So you got it off," he remarked.  As he took
the chain collar from him, their hands touched and their eyes met.  "I'm
sorry," said Darren.  As they continued to look at one another for a long
moment, Darren thought he saw forgiveness in the other's eyes.

     Tim shook his head.  "What were we supposed to do?"
     "You got me," said Lisa.  Darren shrugged his shoulders.  "Lou gave it
to us pretty good."
     "I know," said Tim.  "He was all over me as soon as I got back."
     As the afternoon progressed, they observed Elwood and Jake playing
with their food in various ways, such as arranging kibbles in rows or
circles or trying to hit one piece with another from across the kennel.
Both of them were quite accurate.  After a while they took to tossing
pieces to dogs in nearby kennels, finding it amusing when one ate a piece
with great relish and looked back in anticipation, or especially when a
piece accidentally landed just beyond the reach of a dog's tongue.  They
never ate any of it themselves.  On another occasion, they were seen
playing with the rope that held open the door between the indoor and
outdoor parts of the kennel.  Whenever visitors came through, they rested,
looking to the casual observer like a couple of lynxes.  Later, the two of
them were seen napping side by side in the sun.
     When they had been in the kennel about two hours, Lisa came to get a
broom out of the nearby supply closet, when she heard a strange voice.
"Hweessa..."  She stopped and looked around, and saw Elwood in the kennel
looking at her expectantly.  "Hweessa," said Elwood in the same voice.
     Noting absently that she wasn't as surprised as she should have been
that this animal was trying to say her name, Lisa approached the kennel and
squatted.  "What is it?"
     Elwood began rasping out some utterances that she couldn't understand,
moving and gesticulating almost as if playing charades.  When Lisa still
looked puzzled after half a minute of this, Elwood glanced at Jake, who sat
watching them, then back at Lisa.  Suddenly, he grabbed his crotch with
both hands.  Lisa's eyes swept the kennel and noted that the floor was
still clean.  "Ah, now I get it.  Give me a minute to check on the boss."
     She left, and crept back about a minute later.  "The coast is clear.
You guys better behave yourselves or I'm gonna be in deep yogurt."  She
pulled out her keychain, holding the keys tightly so they didn't jingle,
and opened the padlock.
     Lou didn't even look up from his paperwork when the screen door at the
back of the reception area opened and closed, and one of the restroom doors
closed seconds later.  It was when the restroom door reopened that he
looked up and saw a tawny furred figure slipping out the back door.  He
sprang up and stormed out to the reception area, past the restroom where
the toilet tank was still refilling, and out the door.  Looking both ways
and seeing no sign of human or animal other than dogs in their kennels, he
narrowed his eyes and proceeded to the next kennel row, ignoring the dogs
who rattled their gates for his attention.  Wondering if Elwood and Jake
might have caused some damage escaping from the kennel, he took a slight
detour to check the outdoor half of kennel #40 and found it normal,
including the locked gate.  He continued, knowing he would find their
kennel empty.
     What he found, however, was Elwood and Jake reclined on the floor of
the kennel, looking at the coloring book.  He looked down at the lock, gave
it a tug and found it secure.  Elwood and Jake glanced up at him only
briefly before returning their attention to each other and the book.  Lou
started to say something but words escaped him and he turned, scratching
his head, to return to the office.
     Tim and Lisa had found a vantage point to watch the scene unobserved.
Just after Lou left, they saw Elwood stand up and look in the direction he
had departed, ears up, lips slightly parted, tail waving sinuously.  The
hardest part was holding in their laughter until Lou was out of earshot.

     His deskwork done for the day, Lou went outside to assist with the
manual labor.  He was refilling water bowls and spraying off the concrete
where the dogs had done their business, when he arrived at kennel #40 and
noticed two of the paper cups from the restroom dispensers lying beside the
water bowl.  "Ah, so I did see you sneaking in earlier."  Elwood stared at
him impassively as Jake sat crouched in the doorway.  "For a while you had
me thinking I was imagining things."  He triggered a brief jet of water
from the sprayer, some of it misting into their kennel.
     Elwood smirked as the mist hit his muzzle, then his ears went back and
he leapt at Lou, catching the chain link of the kennel roof with his
fingers.  Hanging there, he hissed and howled at him and rocked himself up
and down, causing the metal parts to squeak loudly.  "Down!  Stop that!"
Lou demanded, but Elwood continued to hang and rock, apparently trying to
make it squeak even louder.
     "All right, you asked for it."  Lou aimed the sprayer at him and let
him have a short burst.  Elwood fell to the ground and landed on his feet.
He blinked his eyes, cleared his nose and shook the water droplets from his
head, then ran to the back of the kennel before turning and charging at Lou
again.  Before he could react, Lou felt a splash of water on his belly and
looked down to see Jake standing behind the gate with an empty paper cup.
Jake retreated a few steps as Lou took aim at him and sprayed, connecting a
couple of times.  Jake ran back and forth, making a game of dodging the
water.  Then Lou felt a strange tug on the hose, which suddenly stopped
working.  While Lou had been targeting Jake, Elwood had reached under the
gate to pull under a coil of the hose that he now held kinked.
     "Give me that," he yelled, giving the hose a strong tug, but Elwood
yanked back harder, jerking the sprayer out of his hand.  Elwood quickly
reeled the hose and sprayer under the gate, and as Lou groped for the hose
where it came out from under the gate, Elwood picked up the sprayer.  Lou
looked up at him and saw Elwood looking back at him with a twinkle in his
eye before he pulled the trigger.  "You son of a..."  Dripping and
muttering obscenities, Lou ran back to the spigot to turn off the water.
Elwood had used up the residual water pressure with a couple of
experimental blasts by the time Lou returned to resume his tug of war.
     Once Elwood discovered his weapon wasn't loaded anymore, he changed
tactics.  When Lou tried to pull on the hose, Elwood hooked the sprayer
handle through one of the holes in the chain link on one side of the
kennel, then let go.  Lou swore as he pushed and pulled on the hose trying
to dislodge the handle, but Elwood kept a hand on it to keep it in place.
Lou then tried entering the vacant kennel next door, hoping to dislodge it
from the other side, but as soon as he was through the gate, Elwood
unhooked the sprayer and hooked it on the opposite side.
     Emerging from the kennel, Lou stopped and turned, breathing heavily,
and just stared at Elwood.  Elwood stared back, unblinking, a look of quiet
confidence on his features.  The unspoken challenge hung in the air between
them.  Elwood wasn't going to let him have the hose back and dared him to
open their kennel.  As they faced each other off, a cool breeze on his wet
shirt caused Lou to shiver.
     "Tim," Lou shouted.  "Can you get the hose out of here?  I need to go
dry off," he said when Tim arrived a moment later.  He turned toward the
office.  "Whatever you do, don't let them escape."
     Sharon was on the telephone when he stormed into the office, so he
fetched a dry shirt from the closet and took it into the restroom to
change.  By the time he emerged, looking more collected but still
thoroughly miffed, Tim had returned to the office.  "I swear, those two are
the biggest pains in the butt we've had in a long time," said Lou.
     "You don't have to put up with them much longer," said Sharon.  "That
was their owner on the phone.  He said he's on his way down to pick them
up."
     "Did you get his name?"
     "No.  I tried to ask, but..."
     "Don't worry about it.  I'll have a few choice words for him when he
gets here..."
     "This I gotta see," Tim remarked.
     Lou shot him a dirty look.  "What do you mean?  After all the trouble
those two have been..."
     "Only for you, Lou, only for you," said Tim.  "The rest of us do just
fine with them."
     "You got the hose out already?"
     "Elwood handed it to me.  No trouble at all."

     An older gentleman with a receding hairline entered the front door.
Lou put on his public smile to greet the man, but before he or Sharon could
say a word, two others entered - two more of the cat creatures with the
same golden fur coloration as Jake and Elwood, except these two were over
five feet tall and wearing shirts and breeches, and one of them was
carrying a duffel bag.  Tim, who had been out front, was right behind them.
The older gentleman withdrew to the back of the reception area as the two
creatures approached the counter.  Lou, uncertain whether to be outraged or
afraid, stood up from his desk to move closer, but fumbled for words long
enough for one of the creatures to speak first.  "I'm here to pick up my
children," it said in perfect English.
     Lou looked at the cat creature for a second before directing his gaze
at man behind them.  "Are you the owner of these...  whatever the heck
these things are?"
     The man's eyebrows went up as if he hadn't expected to be spoken to,
but it was the cat creature who answered.  "We don't have an owner."
     Lou looked at it again, then at the man, and finally back at the
creature.  "Then I guess that makes you wild, doesn't it?"
     Sharon finally found her tongue.  "What are you?"
     Its features softened as it turned and addressed her.  "Pleased to
make your acquaintance, ma'am.  I am Markhai, and this is my wife, Kharin."
He gestured toward the other cat creature beside him.  "We are Heshtai, a
race you would classify as feline, and we are not wild but quite civil."
He turned back to Lou.  "I understand our children are here.  May we see
them?"
     Lou remained impassive.  "I can't release them except to their
owners."
     Markhai's brow furrowed, and the claws of the hand on the counter
extended briefly, revealing one-inch hooks, before retracting.  "Excuse me
sir, but do you have children?"
     "Yes, three of 'em."
     "Do you own them?"
     Lou flinched.  "Own them?  Of course not!"
     "Neither do we."
     Kharin, who had been looking back and forth between them, began to
chatter with Markhai.  Her words could not be understood but the tone of
her voice and her body language made it clear that she was angry.  As they
talked, Lou addressed the man behind them.  "Sir, I'll need to get your
name and address..."
     The man cocked an eyebrow.  "Me?  They're the ones you need to talk
to.  I'm George, by the way.  And you're..?"
     "Lou.  If you're not their owner, why are you with them?"
     George's face showed a touch of amusement.  "They're friends of mine
here visiting.  They don't drive, so I get to be their chauffeur."
     Tim spoke up.  "At least that's one thing they can't do."
     "Actually they can, or at least Mark can," said George.  "He just
doesn't have a license."
     Markhai interrupted.  "We haven't seen our children since they
wandered off this morning."
     Lou looked at him and grinned mischievously.  "I'll need to see some
identification."
     The grin disappeared when Markhai produced a billfold and showed him a
picture ID card with an image of himself and some unintelligible
hieroglyphics.  Sharon came over and they both studied the holographic
picture, looking at it straight on, then sideways.  Markhai conversed
briefly with Kharin, then turned back to Lou and pointed to some of the
strange characters on the card.  "See, right there is my name, Markhai ael
Kossach."  As he spoke, George was leading Kharin toward the back door.
     Lou's head snapped up.  "Hey, wait a minute.  You can't take her out
there!"  He looked at Tim, who was surreptitiously studying Markhai's
identification.
     Markhai's eyes became slits and the tips of his claws reappeared.
"You would keep a mother from her children?"
     "I certainly wouldn't," said Tim.
     As the screen door closed behind the exiting duo, Lou glared back at
Markhai.  "I'll have to write a stray animal citation for each of them
before I can release them."
     "Excuse me?"
     "We have a law here against letting animals run loose."
     "They went outside to play and got lost!"
     "I don't care how they got loose..."
     "Excuse me, sir, but if your children got lost and ended up at the
police station, how would you react to being told you had to pay a fine to
get them back?"
     Lou started to say something, hesitated, and finally spoke.  "That's
different.  You're animals, right?"
     "We are.  So are humans.  What's your point?"
     "The way we do things here, humans are not considered animals."
     "So that's it, then?  To you, everything's a person or animal?"
     "Basically, yes."  Markhai let out an exasperated sigh, but Lou's
voice was impassive.  "And unless the animals are wild, I cannot release
them except to their owners."
     Markhai spoke calmly but firmly.  "I'm not leaving here without my
children."
     Lou leaned forward.  "Am I going to have to call the police?"
     Sharon gasped.  "Lou, I don't know..."
     Markhai grinned at him.  "Go ahead, but before you call, you better
decide one thing."
     "Oh?  What's that?"
     "Are we animals, or are we persons?  Because if we're persons, you've
as good as admitted our children are too and all your rules about animals
don't apply.  But if we're animals, well, then why would the animal shelter
be calling the police about a problem with animals?"
     Lou flinched before he shot a glare back at Markhai, but the Heshta
had folded his hands and was looking back at him thoughtfully.  Tim had to
bite his lip to stop himself from grinning.

     Darren was near the back office door when it opened and a man
appeared, followed by another of the cat creatures, this one wearing
clothes and carrying a handbag.  "Hi.  My name is Darren.  I take it you
must be here for Elwood and Jake?"
     "Elwood and Jake," the man mused aloud.  "Odd choice of names for
them, but I imagine those are the ones.  My name is George, and this is
their mother Kharin."
     Darren appraised her, noting that she seemed a bit agitated.  "Been
talking to Lou already, haven't you?  Right this way.  They've caused quite
a stir here.  What are their real names?"
     "Nrashm and Rreech.  Nrashm is the older one."
     As they approached the kennel, they were greeted by loud squeals and
chatters of delight from Elwood and Jake - Nrashm and Rreech, Darren
corrected himself.  Rreech was jumping up and down and they began talking
back and forth in their alien tongue, reaching fingers through the holes in
the chain link to touch one another.
     A full day of fear and worry drained from Kharin's face, replaced by
joy and relief.  Then she looked down at the lock, fondled it for a moment,
and her whiskers sagged.  Darren wondered, was it just his imagination or
did her arms ache visibly to hug her children, so close but out of reach
behind the locked gate?
     Lisa joined them as Kharin reached into the duffel bag and pulled out
two pairs of shorts.  She slipped them under the gate, and Nrashm and
Rreech each took a pair and slid them on, threading the tail through a hole
in the rear.  George looked over at Darren and Lisa.  "They're quite the
characters, aren't they?"
     "Yes, quite," Lisa replied.
     "Can you get them out of that cage?"  George asked.
     "Lou would have my butt in a sling if I did," Darren replied.
     George sighed and his shoulders sagged as he said a few words to
Kharin in their tongue.  She spoke a few sharp words before turning back to
Nrashm and Rreech.  She touched her children and murred soothing words, and
as Darren and Lisa watched, they looked at each other and realized they
were both thinking the same thing.  Darren's hand went for his key ring.
"The hell with Lou.  Here, let me open that for you."
     Moments later, Rreech/Jake was in one of Kharin's arms while the other
was hugging Nrashm/Elwood.  The two were as happy as Darren had seen them
all day, stroking and being stroked by their mother and chittering
joyfully.  After they broke the hug, the six of them headed back to the
office, leaving behind a kennel empty save for two paper cups and a wet
coloring book.
     As the group neared the office door, Rreech charged past it to the
kennel that held the husky mix puppies, where he reached his fingers
through the fence to stroke the two excited pups.  He turned and said
something to Kharin, who replied and beckoned to him.  Rreech lagged by the
puppies until Kharin snapped out something and he followed her with obvious
reluctance.

     Sharon and Tim exchanged grins behind Lou's back for at least the
dozenth time.  Lou tried to keep his voice under control.  "Do you realize
how much trouble those two have been."
     Markhai's claws hadn't reappeared since George and Kharin left, and
Lou's latest remark didn't seem to faze him either.  He continued to regard
Lou impassively like a chess master studying a position, or perhaps a cat
playing with a new toy.  "Trouble?  What did you do to them?"
     "Me!?  Do to them?  Do you know what they did to me?"
     Their discussion was interrupted when Elwood entered the office,
wearing shorts.  "Nrashm!"  Markhai exclaimed as he turned to him, and they
ran to hug each other and began talking.
     "Who let them out?"  said Lou as Darren entered behind the cub.
     "I did," Darren proclaimed.  "There was no reason to keep them locked
up anymore."
     "I didn't authorize their release!"
     Darren shrugged his shoulders, but it was Tim who spoke.  "Lou, I
would have done the same thing."
     Lou's eyes went back and forth between them.  "Doesn't anyone else
around here believe in following procedure?  In being in control?"
     "I do," Markhai chimed in.  "Is there something I can help you with?"
     Lou gave him a dirty look, but before he could say any more, the back
door opened and Kharin entered with Jake's hand in hers, and Lisa and
George behind them.  "Don't worry, Lou," said Lisa, "everything is under
control."
     "Funny, we were just talking about..."
     "I know.  I could hear you."
     Markhai greeted Rreech much as he had his brother.  After they
released each other, the Heshtai family began conferring while the shelter
crew looked on curiously.  "What are they saying?"  Tim asked George.
     "I don't know their language that well, but the gist of it is the cubs
are telling Mark and Kharin what happened today."
     The murmuring went on for a couple of minutes, occasionally punctuated
by Nrashm or Rreech pointing out one of the staff.  Finally they concluded,
and Markhai lifted Rreech into his arms and faced the counter.  Rreech took
some peppermints and dog biscuits from the bowls on the counter before
squirming out of his father's grasp to the ground.  George asked the
question on everyone's mind.  "So, what'd they tell you?"
     Markhai faced Lou and the crew.  "Rreech and Nrashm were curious about
the woods behind George's house, so this morning they went out exploring.
They ran around and played and had fun for a while, and after a while they
were ready to come back, but they had gone in circles and couldn't find
their way back, so they picked a direction.  They were in a strange area
when they came out of the woods, so they went to the friendliest looking
house they could see, where they met a Mrs. Pritchard.  They said she was
very nice to them and tried to call someone for help."
     Markhai went on recounting the events of the day as reported to him by
his sons.  Tim, Lisa, Sharon and Darren each confirmed the parts of the
story they had been party to.  Rreech went to each of them in turn as they
were first mentioned and gave them a peppermint.
     "It was already quite an interesting day for them," Markhai said as he
looked at his boys, "but what really made it unforgettable was when Lou
came along.  See, my children behave themselves when they're treated well.
Most of the time.  But the way Lou treated them was all the reason they
needed to create a little mischief."
     Rreech padded over to Lou and began to extend a hand to him holding a
dog biscuit.  When Nrashm saw what he was doing, he sprang over and blocked
his arm.  They tangled briefly until Markhai turned and spoke their names.
     Lou looked down at the two cubs for a moment, then glared back at
Markhai.  "If they don't like me, why didn't they just leave?"
     "For one thing, they would have been even more lost than they were at
Mrs. Pritchard's, and they knew we'd probably come looking here for them
eventually.  For another, if they'd left you would have been mad at Darren
and Lisa, and they didn't deserve that."  Markhai paused and twitched his
nose and whiskers a bit before continuing.  "Nrashm says you were a
challenge.  The others were easy to win over but you were stubborn, and
that saddened him.  He thinks he and Rreech could have convinced you to
treat them better if he'd had more time."
     "How?  By causing more trouble?"
     Markhai conversed briefly with Nrashm before responding to Lou.
"After you locked them in a kennel you just wanted to forget about them,
and causing mischief was the easiest way for them to get your attention,
but they hoped eventually things would take a more positive turn.  Perhaps
they could have done something useful.  Nrashm says he'll even stay a while
and do some work if you promise not to put a collar on him or put him in a
kennel."
     "I can't really allow that."  When he saw Markhai looking at him
curiously, he went on.  "Even if I wanted to, I have to deal with city hall
and a dozen state and federal agencies.  I'm the one who gets to face them
and all their rules and their bureaucrats who all have their own ideas and
rules about how an animal shelter ought to be run.  So maybe you could
convince me that you and your children are not just animals, but do you
think you could ever convince an army of bureaucrats?  Yeah, sure, it would
be easy for me to say, 'unlock the kennel, let them have the run of the
place', but if the wrong people saw or heard about it, I'd have regulators
descending on me like vultures."
     Markhai nodded.  "Lou, I believe I understand your position.  I still
won't pay your fine, but I'll give you a day's kenneling fee for each of
them."  He extended his hand.
     Lou took the proffered handshake.  "Forget it.  They wouldn't eat our
food and they didn't leave any messes in the kennels."
     Nrashm looked at Lou and said something as he tossed him a peppermint.
"He says he thinks you would have come around," Markhai translated, "so
he's giving you the benefit of the doubt."
     Behind them, Rreech murred some phrases to Kharin.  She looked down at
him and gave a gentle reply.  The cub looked disappointed as Markhai turned
back to them, surprised.  "What was that about?"  George asked him.
     Markhai looked up.  "Rreech wants to know if we can get a puppy."
     Lou looked at Markhai incredulously, but Rreech was tugging at his
father's hand.  "We already told him no, not today," Markhai said to Lou,
"but he still wants to show me the puppy he wanted."
     "The husky mixes," said Lisa.
     Lou grabbed a couple of dog biscuits from the bowl.  "Rreech!"  he
said to the departing duo.  As the cub reacted to the sound of his name,
Lou tossed him the dog treats.  "For the puppies."
     Rreech seemed to understand as he snatched the dog treats from the
air.  There was a little more spring in his step as he led his father out
the door.
     Moments later the pair returned.  Though Lou had had enough for one
day, the rest of the shelter crew were anxious to find out more about the
Heshtai, and George and Markhai were happy to oblige for a few minutes.  At
one point Kharin produced a holographic family portrait from her duffel
bag, sparking more discussion.  Then at her suggestion, Nrashm pulled out a
wooden flute and played a song.
     They asked Markhai where they were from, but he was evasive.  "You
wouldn't believe me if I told you," was all he would say.  Tim pointed out
that none of them ever would have believed they would encounter
intelligent, talking felines either, but Markhai would say no more.
     George looked at the cubs.  "Elwood and Jake."  He smiled wryly and
shook his head.  "Do you think the names fit?"
     "They have their moments."  Markhai looked around the room.  "So which
one of you decided to name my sons after the Blues Brothers?"
     Tim shrugged.  "I had to call them something.  It sure beats 'Hey,
you'."
     George chuckled.  "Well, Mark, it's a hundred and six miles to
Chicago.  We've got a full tank of gas..."
     "Yeah, yeah, I know," Markhai chuckled.  "Do you still have that
video?  We'll have to watch it tonight and see what they think."
     They were discussing where to buy a meal for the kids as they left the
office.  Tim couldn't help smiling as he watched them load up into George's
minivan.  "I wonder if we'll ever see anything like them again."
     "God, I hope not," muttered Lou.