Title: Simba's Defense
Author: J. Takeshi
Date: 9/24/98


Nalaholic: Yip yip yip!
Simba: And stay out! Or I'll rip you alive next!
Narrator: Simba heads back to Pride Rock. Ever since his debut in stardom,
his duty as King of Pridelands has increased ten fold. He is getting
extremely wary.
Nala: (coming from Pride Rock) Hi deary, another one?
Simba: Yeah. This has got to stop. I have to resort to plan B.
Nala: Which is?
Narrator: Simba hushes his plan to Nala.
What!? Don't you know what happened last time? Did you already forget
Simba: (interrupting) Sheesh, calm down. It will be different, because this
time they will...(continues hushing plan to Nala).
Nalaholic: Yip yip yip!
Banzai: Hmm, I like the smell of breakfast in the mourning.
Shenzi: Yeah, especially when they're as slow as these!
Narrator: Simba and Nala are standing on Pride Rock as the large pack of
hyenas chases its helpless prey.
Simba: See, it's working out just fine.
Nala: I don't know what made me let you get away with this...
Simba: Because I'm the King and I can do whatever I want.
Much later...
Nala: (very thin) I told you it wouldn't work, now we're back to the days of
Simba: (almost as thin) Geesh, how was I supposed to know that my royalties
would end 3 months after the movie debut? I couldn't read the contract,
never mind the fine print. Anyways, I got plan C.
Fedex guy: Delivery for His Majesty the King. Sign these two here.
Narrator: Simba dips his paw in the ink and "signs" the document.
Fedex guy: (whispering to himself) hehe, the other sheet is actually an
Simba: What did you say?
Fedex guy: Uh, just "the summer heat is acutely out of scale".
Nala: (trotting over) What is it?
Simba: It's the Class A foolproof security system from Acme.
Nala: And just how did you pay it?
Simba: With my wedding ring.
Nala: What!? How could you!
Simba: Don't worry, it's worth every cent. I can't wait to see this baby in
Narrator: Simba sets up the security system in the Pridelands.
Simba: Now, nobody should be able to get in without my permission. Because
this state of the art beauty detects...
Narrator: A loud alarm signal sets off.
Simba: Aha, our first intruder!
Narrator: Simba runs towards the signal.
Simba: Oh oh.
Narrator: Some parts of Timon and Pumbaa can be seen sticking out of a big
ball of sticky stuff.
Simba: ...and it kept capturing innocent passers. Everyone is really mad
now, so can I stay here until things cool off?
Scar: (mockingly) Oh goody. Anything for my favorite nephew.
Simba: I'm your only nephew.